Happy 18th WdCversary, Maria Mize! I chose this for a birthday review!
What a delightful trip down memory lane! As a Midwesterner of about the same age, I went in with a similar life experience. Your descriptions drew beautiful word pictures, giving me a lot of nostalgic memories around my grandparents farm. This is what we as writers strive for, and you knocked it out of the park. Thank you for the wonderful trip down memory lane!
This is well thought out, very well written, and i enjoyed it very much.
Happy 10th WdCversary, greenbrair. I chose this for a birthday review.
This is good. Very good. The build up is spot on. I like the way you formatted the lines, almost a poetic set up. Good. Very God.
I do see a repeated typo: More than once, you say its when you mean it's. Another thing I noticed, your first genre is Other. Replace that with the genre Death.
I liked this very much. You have done well.
I see no other glaring errors, nothing else I would change.
Happy 19th WdCversary, Kelly Sheedy. I chose this for a birthday review!
This is excellent. I do not normally give 5 stars. Five stars is nearly, or absolutely perfect. This is nearly perfect. Which makes it difficult to critique.
With whimsical drawings, children will love this. I don't have any negative things to say. Maybe you used the wrong finger to hit the submit button? I don't know. I enjoyed this.
Happy 15th WdCversary, Ben Garrick! I chose this for a birthday review.
This is not bad. There are some minor issues throughout the story. For example, none-the-less should be one word, nonetheless, sorta-clutz should be two or three words, sorta (or sort of) klutz, and klutz is spelled with a "k". There are a few others throughout the story.
These are minor details, and if all I can find to criticize is minor details, that indicates a pretty good story.
As for the body of the story, it is well thought out. I liked you keeping it at 18+. I liked that the protagonist held himself back. There is a lot to like in this story. You have done well. I thought the lack of names in the story was inspired! Nice touch!
Happy 20th WdCversary, Humming Bird. I chose this for a birthday review.
Please tell your now-grown niece that this is very impressive for a 10-year-old. She has done a very good job. This is a great children's story. It sets up a likeable character, put her in a precarious position, and then concludes with a satisfying conclusion. Nothing too scary for children, and a happy ending. Just what a children's story needs.
I found this by clicking on the read & Review link.
This is not something I normally read. But this is very good. I was a bit surprised when she floated up to the tire, but it raised the question: How did she get up there thebnoght the boy drowned? This is very well thought out and well written.
Happy 22nd WdCversary, WriterRick! I chose this for a birthday review.
There's not a whole lot for me to say about this. I don't normally give 5 stars, but I found nothing to criticize about this. IMHO, 5 stars is nearly or absolutely perfect. Maybe you used the wrong finger to hit the submit button? I don't know. Maybe add a 3d genre. Comedy, Music, or Nonsense would be good choices.
Happy 21st WdCversary, dragonline. I chose this for a birthday review.
This is fantastic. I don't normally give 5 stars because 5 stars is nearly, or absolutely perfect. This would have earned 5 stars, except for one minor detail. The other genre is a little bugaboo of mine. There are several other, much more useful genres to choose from. I would recommend Philosophy, Experience, maybe Personal, as your 3rd genre. Move the other 2 you've posted into up. Nobody looks in Other for something to read. That is the source of my bugaboo.
I wasn't sure if you were speaking about the current political scene in the US, Native American history, or something I missed completely. My confusion is actually an excellent thing. It shows that your article can cover a variety of circumstances. Bravo!
I happened to look in your port, and saw this. The irony will become crystal clear when I finish my review.
This is very good. I do have a couple suggestions that IMHO would improve this.
1). Have mercy on my old eyes. Use a bigger font! Thank you!
2). There are unnecessary line breaks throughout the piece. I urge you to remove any additional line breaks. It would make it a little easier to read.
3). Inspirational is the PERFECT genre for this piece. "Other" is never a good genre. I would suggest Religious, Biographical, maybe Experience as genres. Nobody looks for something to read in the Other genre. Getting our writing is the reason we post to begin with.
Now, for the irony. I read this because I have an essay in my port named "Happiness " , too. I would be honored if you gave it a look-see.
As I said, I enjoyed this. I see no glaring errors.
Happy 7th WdCversary, ShadowBlade! I chose this for a birthday review
This is funny! I enjoyed this very much. You obviously have experience with a toddler. I am of the opinion that you could easily expand this. Maybe make fascinating discoveries while playing outdoors. An 18_month-old is still discovering their world. Saw an ant carrying a grain of dirt out of a hole in the ground. Chased a butterfly across the yard. Blew on a dandelion, blowing the seeds across the yard. Things like that.
As it is, it is very good.
I saw no glaring errors, nothing I would change (BTW, I was glad to see Daddy change a diaper, and I'm male)
Happy 15th WdCversary, Jakrebs! I chose this for a birthday review!
This is very good. Humorous, well though out. Couple of thoughts. Your 3rd genre is Contest Entry. I urge you to change it.
I would suggest that Writing.com is probably the best choice, although you might find a better choice. Also, you description. I love it, but I think it'd be funnier thusly: Instead of "Hey, you with the face, read me.", try "Yo, you wit' da nose and da face! Read dis!". It keeps your original intent, but strengthens it, giving it the Brooklyn accent. Give it a shot, and see what you think.
Like I said, this is really good. I enjoyed this very much.
I see no glaring errors, nothing else I would change.
Happy 21WdCversary, C. Don. I chose this for a birthday review
This is good. It is relatable, humorous, and very believable.
The build up to the main action is very good. I enjoyed your conversations with Sally, in a been there, done that way. Then the conversation with Heather, yeah. Very relatable.
This is a good look into some aspects of writing that can't be known unless you yourself have written something.
Happy 24th WdCversary, Rhyssa! I chosen this for a birthday review!
An entire poem written without the twenty-first letter. More difficult than it looks. Although my first thought was even more difficult. Imagine my surprise when I recounted letters and realized T is the 20th letter!
Altogether this is very good. I see no glaring errors, nothing I would change.
Happy 22nd WdCversary, GK. I chose this for a birthday review.
I like this very much. Your feelings for your furry friend comes shining through beautifully. This is well thought out, well written and it presents your case excellently. Two thoughts, however. Some of the lines rhyme and other do not? Why is that? It seemed a little odd to me.
The other thought is, dogs are better. Had it been about a dog instead of a cat, it would gotten 4.5 stars! LOL!
Happy 1st WdCversary, D.K.D. I chose this for a birthday review.
And boy am I glad I did! This is excellent! I can hear the crackle of the lightning. The BOOM of the thunder. The smell of the ozone and the earthy smell of the approaching storm. I can feel the needs you mention, and see the scurrying of the dog to a "safe" place.
However, that is not to say there are no issues. The issues are all administrative. Your genres. You list it under the genre "Other." Please use genres people actually use. Nobody looks in other for something to read. And getting people to read our scribblings is why we post. I would suggest Personal, Nature, Experience. ANYTHING! This is too good to bury where no one will ever see it. Please! Let this be seen.
Other than that, I see no glaring errors, nothing else I would change.
Happy 15th WdCversary, GHK4! I chose this for a birthday review!
First off, I assume you live in or near NOLA. If not, this still applies.
Your love of your home comes through perfectly. Though short, this provides a look at your feelings in an exuberant way, and allows those of us who have never been there share with you your love of the city.
If anything, I might suggest that you extend this. What is it about the city that you love. The French Quarter? The Riverfront? Choose a number of things and extoll their virtues.
I see no glaring errors, nothing else I would change.
Happy 1st WdCversary, Adele! I chose this for a birthday review!
This is very good. I like the emotional roller coaster ride you take us on. Very good hitting the emotional highs and lows. Well done.
However. Genres. Genres are very important and you choose none. Please put genres on this important piece of writing so that it can be seen. I would choose Personal, Emotional, Biographical, and Inspirational for a beginning. There might be more. Please add genres!
All in all, you have done very well. I highly enjoyed this and would recommend it to anybody.
Otherwise, I see no glaring errors, nothing else I would change.
Happy 1st WdCversary, EkenaFox101! I chose this for a birthday review!
This is good. You have done very well. You cadence might need some work, but you rhyming scheme is good.
My main criticism is with the mechanics of the posting. Your only genre listed is Other. I would recommend ditching that genre and changing it to Dark, Psychological, Death, perhaps, Emotional, Experience. There are several others you may try. Nobody looks at the genre Other. Getting eyes on our words is why we post.
Happy WdCversary, M.Maniates! I chose this for a birthday review.
This is excellent. But there are a few issues with it. I noticed a typo in this sentence: Nobody had even noticed that Humphrey and gone on ahead, as soon as he had heard the boy's cries for his sister.. I think you mean: Nobody had even noticed that Humphrey had gone on ahead, as soon as he had heard the boy's cries for his sister.. Also, in this part: "The healer, Humpty". "He can to rescue me ". In this case, I think you mean: "The healer, Humpty". "He came to rescue me ". Also, lose the quotation marks after the word Humpty and before He. They are unnecessary. One other thing. Please have mercy on my poor eyes. Increase the font size.
Please remember. I'm nitpicking. If all I can find is a couple of typos, it must be pretty good. I enjoyed this very much.
Happy 8th WdCversary, Tanith! I chose this for a birthday review!
I chosen this because I, too, am a survivor of Irma. I even wrote a (now deleted) Limerick for her. Just so you know you're not alone
This is very good. You did exactly what you set out to do, and you did it very well. I could see what you described with the clarity of one who has been there. I am very glad you survived.
I see no glaring errors, nothing I would change (except for weather!)
Happy 1st WdCversary, ShmrGray! I chose this for a birthday review.
This is very good. Devilishly good. However, you got only 2.5 stars for one error. Midway through, you say:
“What is the meaning of all these damn birds!” The Queen rose from her seat, “Summon the exterminator immediately.”
Your genres include Children's. The word damn does not belong in children's writing. And it screws up the entire piece. Either remove the word or change the 3rd genre, and I'll change the rating to the 4 stars it otherwise deserves. I would recommend simply dropping the word. It would make it appropriate for children. And adults would still get the joke. Sort of like the Department of Mammalian Vehicles (DMV) in the movie Zootopia being staffed by nothing but sloths.
This is a great parody of nursery rhymes, and you have done very well.
I see no glaring were, nothing else I would change.
Happy 9th WdCversary, Jay O'Toole! I chose this for a birthday review!
This is well written, and well thought. It is technically very well done, and the message is spot on. Your message is conveyed perfectly. You have done very well.
Happy 2nd WdCversary, Edgar! I chose this for a birthday review.
This is a well thought out, well written instruction manual for a marriage. Your basic premise is spot on, and your arguments are well thought out, logical, and explained very well.
My main criticisms are mechanical. Two things. This looks like it was written elsewhere and copied and pasted here. I've done that, too. Lose the unnatural line breaks. It will give your piece a more natural look to it. The other thought is, please have mercy on my poor, aged eyes. Increase the font size. I use size 5, but even size 3.5 would be a great improvement. Thank you.
Remember, 3.5 is better than average, and my main complaints are easily fixed mechanical problems.
Other, I see no glaring errors, nothing I would change.
Oh, and by the way, Mom and I celebrated 40 years last month. So I speak from experience.
Write on
Smiles,
Dad
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