This popped up on the Rate & Review button. First off, if you have lost your mate, my deepest condolences for your loss. May God be with you.
Now, on to the writing itself. This is very good. You have done very well imparting your sorrow into verse. The rhyming scheme is perfect. The cadence is very good. This is a fine piece of writing. My one suggestion is to enter genres. You'll get many more views by putting into several genres, and views is why we write. I would suggest any 3 of the following: Personal, Death, Adult, Tribute, Tragedy, Romance/Love, Relationship. Find the ones you like, and feel free to change them as you like.
This is very good, which makes my suggestions easier. First off, this is good just the way it is. If you change nothing, you have a good story. But, for me, there are a few issues. What type of cats are Noah and Oliver? You didn't make it clear until the end of the story that Oliver is a cat. By the same token, Sneaky Sam's species is unknown until the end. Expand Oliver's distraction. For example: "He made a loud noise and darted to the left. 'Stop that!' Sneaky Sam snarled as he turned toward the tabby." (Did you see what I did there?). Maybe a couple more sentences describing the cats' antics. It doesn't need to be a great deal longer, just give the reader a sense of impending danger, from a child's perspective, of course. Finally, especially with children's writing, I like exclamation ❗ marks. It shows excitement. And, naturally, children like excitement.
Like I said, if you do nothing, this is a good story. I really like it.
This is good. I will admit I didn't completely understand it. That made me read it more closely. Is this part of a series that maybe I should've read before this? I see no glaring errors.
Recommendations I would give apply only if this is a free-standing piece. Otherwise, please disregard them. I would encourage you to expand this. Who is Kindy, her father, and Valtrip? What is the guild? Provide more background. I gave you 4 stars on the assumption that is part of a series, so either way, I will not be revising my rating.
This is God. I understand that this was a contest entry from YEARS ago. Id like to see you extend this. This is good as it is. But I think it could be better if you expanded it. Show her discomfort, her uncertainty, her reticence. Maybe add another over the top jerk before she meets Bill Tom. My thought, maybe he's impressed with his own muscles.
I like this very much. You have done very well. I have one question: Why are a couple words bolded? I tried to read those words more emphatically, and it worked when they were spoken words, but not otherwise. I have one minor recommendation: For your third genre, put it into Comedy. This'll give it more Viet, which is why we post. Otherwise, no glaring errors, it looks good to me.
First off, I, too, am a firm believer in the power of prayer. The Lord has seen me & mine through so extremely difficult periods.
Now, on to the writing itself. This is very well written. I see no glaring errors in syntax, vocabulary, or grammar, nothing I would recommend changing. I really like this.
I found this when I tapped rate & review button. This is very good. This is well written. It's obvious that you took your time, thinking this out, perfecting it. I applaud you. I must let you know I found WdC quite by accident, I just don't remember what I was looking for at the time.
This is good, but it has issues. There are some typos and grammar issues. Near the end, when everybody is pulling on here, I. Had to go back and we what bird. Also, the next sentence makes no sense whatsoever. Please re-read this, it needs fixing.
I rarely take issue with ratings, but the Intro Rating is Non-E. Why? I see nothing offensive in it.
Allman all, it's a nice story that needs a little tender loving care.
I found this on the Read & Review link on the homepage. Imagine my surprise to notice that it's 4 hours old!
This is very well written, and so true. My wife has probably influenced my writing far more than I know. I think the only change I would suggest is in the next to the last sentence, Ch dear beloved to dearly beloved. And that, I think, is just a stylistic choice.
Unfulfilling. Dissatisfaction And honestly, on a story such as this, I think it's a good thing. We all want the malefactors to get their just comeuppance, and that isn't reality. You wrote this well. We feel Ms. Sorensen's humiliation, and her frustration. I see no glaring errors, nothing I would change (other than nailing the little rat's @$$ that did that to her, but then there goes the story). I didn't like this, and that is what you were going for. Well done.
Merry Christmas. I'm giving reviews as gifts for Christmas and this popped up.
My first reaction was similar to Sam's when Ms. Abigail offered the cooking. "What the heck. I'll give it a shot." So I read it.. You have done well. This is well written. The characters are well developed, believable, and interesting. The situation and Sam's dilemma are believable. I see no glaring errors, nothing I would change.
Merry Christmas! I'm giving reviews as gifts this Christmas.
I had never heard of a diatelle before. As I am not a poet, I would find writing this extremely difficult. However, and although I am not a fan of poetry, I found this to be intriguing. I counted some of the syllables in each line, and found no mistakes. I see no glaring errors, nothing I would change. Thanks for the notes at the end. I might have been lost without it.
Merry Christmas! I am giving a few reviews as Christmas presents and this popped up.
Am I ever glad I found this. As one grandparent to another, I can truly say I agree with you wholeheartedly! I urge you to look at "A birth announcement limerick" and "Another Birth Announcement" and perhaps "Happiness " , all from my port as examples of what grandkids mean to us.
On to this. This is well-written. I see no glaring errors, nothing I'd recommend you change. Well done.
Merry Christmas! I'm giving reviews as Christmas presents and this popped up.
First off, I hope this is a true story. May God bless yin for your compassion. I should do the same.
I really like this. This well written. You express yourself well. As a resident of Florida, I thoroughly appreciate your desire for lower temps come July! I will be the first to admit I don't understand poetry, especially freeform poetry, very well. I think (& it's just my opinion) every line should be capitalized. I like the words you colorized. I think it adds a certain pizzazz. I would recommend colorizing more of the words, maybe all of the verbs.
Merry Christmas! I'm giving a few reviews as Christmas presents and this popped up.
I find some easily fixed problems with this. But first, notice that you got 4 stars. You have expressed yourself very well. It is depressing, sad and bitchy, which I feel you were going for. Hence the 4 stars.
Now, the problems. You switch tenses often:
Tuesday
It was another day that STARTED peacefully. However, as the afternoon PROGRESSES, your parents SAW on TV News Reporters and the weather people warning everyone that the weather tomorrow could be quite disastrous and they should make plans to protect themselves today! Your father ROLLS his eyes before he SWITCHES channels to a comedy movie with Nicholas Cage in it.
Choose a tense. I would recommend staying in past tense:
Tuesday
It was another day that STARTED peacefully. However, as the afternoon PROGRESSED, your parents saw on TV News Reporters and the weather people warning everyone that the weather tomorrow could be quite disastrous and they should make plans to protect themselves today! Your father ROLLED his eyes before he SWITCHED channels to a comedy movie with Nicholas Cage in it.
IMHO, this improves it immensely. There are other examples, I just chose to highlight this particular passage.
I love limericks. They say they are the lowest form of poetry. I don't care. This is a good limerick. Maybe not the best, but good. I've read some that I couldn't get through all 5 lines. This was better than that. I think the last 2 lines need work. IMHO, they just don't work. Work on it and let me know if you change it, and I'll rerate it. I'll think about it, too and throw you a suggestion if I come up with one.
I did not intend to read this. I was looking for something else and clicked this instead. Am I ever glad I did.
I like this. One thing you need to understand is that I do not like poetry. But I like this. It captures the essence of that first kiss, whether it's the first or the thousandth person you kiss. You have a talent for this. I try to find something to criticize, but I can't. Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece of literature.
This is very good. Your love is a very lucky person indeed to have someone who expresses their feelings so positively. I see no glaring error, misspellings, grammar. I'm no poetry expert, but you have doe well.
This is very well written. You have told your tale in a way that many (including yours truly) simply cannot. It found no glaring errors, nothing to correct. My only suggestion is, maybe name the dragon. But even that is unnecessary. The story in the poem is 100% complete without it.
Congratulations. I found this on the read & review tool.
That's the good news.
Here's the bad news: I don't get it. It's written without any noticeable errors. I understand that you wrote this in reaction to trying something new. I just don't understand it. Reu: a 3 is not a bad score. 3 is average.
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