This has the makings of a good story. I could feel the emotion rising, peaking then trying to push it aside. Thats what you want to give your readers! The emotion. I like this for a start, a good hook. No technical issues that I can see. Content excellent. Thank you for sharing this, Keep writing. May your days be filled with creativity.
Such a wonderful short story. Greek Mythology incorporated into the story, I love that idea. Its such a real story that probably did happen. At one time or another to all teens and family's. Of course the turmoil of not being with one you love so much. And the anxiety, of not doing as parents want against the same feeling wanting to be with a love. Great story, enjoyed the journey. Thank you. Keep writing.
Beautiful poem. I see struggles to be better and yet its time for bed. Nothing but the mind to deal with. How to be a better person? But thats just what I read there. Others may see it differently. The poem flowed nicely for free verse and held my attention well. Provoked a few thoughts, I am sure that was the intention. Thank you for the journey. Keep writing.
Interesting, Large tree encompasses a smaller one. It still continues to survive. Like one country or group taking over another that should have been its equel. Few words but powerful incites with them. I love it. Simple, fresh, and thought provoking. Thank you for the journey, please keep writing.
Amazing! I had given this contest a thought but you have done great! And the content was very easy for me to see, watch stepping back and looking around before setting down behind the piano. Yep, I know. And yes God is everywhere you go usually before you get there even. Good poem and good luck with the contest. I enjoyed the picture you painted. Keep writing.
Love open mics. Wish there were some around here. Your poem screams of power. Silence can be so loud sometimes and even then we could miss what it is saying. Beautiful poem, I felt someone was listening and not voicing opinions, just going along with what ever their love wanted to say. I enjoyed this journey, I know being silent sometimes can affect a persons emotions greatly. Keep writing. Thank you for sharing.
Don't look at me with pain of leaveing. We are together for the moment. Thats what I feel here. I love the poem and its nice steady flow. The content takes me back to my younger days of loving and love not being returned, for what ever reason. See a persons soul through their eyes, feel a persons soul through their poetry. Thank you for the journey. Keep writing.
Taking into account your biography as well, this stands out pretty strong. I understand the wise are not always wise to your part of life. Happen to many of us. I enjoyed your little poem, speaks strongly of your resolve. Must admit I am a bit envious of your past and the fact you are still hiking! Keep writing.
Such a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing your bumps and success's. I enjoyed reading this and thinking of the times my wife and I have dealt with surprise issues. Good on you. Hang in there, backing up a step just to regroup is not a problem. Keep stepping forward and your reward will come. Thank you so much for sharing. Keep on writing.
This is so touching. I can see and almost feel being there and looking at the rows of crosses. To realize the true losses suffered comes through this powerful little poem. Very good job with the content as well as the form. I enjoyed the journey and it flowed nicely. Thank you for sharing.
Great poem. And explaining the form at the end is awesome. I am still learning of different forms. You used this one very well. The content is interesting as seeing Joy as one mask over your reality. I point out that even the old Drama image used two masks. I see more there in those lines. There is a real you, not the one behind the first mask. Keep writing. You have a great talent for it. May your days be filled with creativity.
Very interesting article. Being a retired backwoods, covered by the blood, preacher, I have heard and preached many messages on how we try to treat and use God. Don't let those that are selfish and greedy hurt your relationship with God. Think about it, God wants to be our friend and wants a relationship with us. How would a friend feel if they found out only reason you being nice to them is to get what they have. I love the piece you wrote, your insides seem to bubble it out and I understand the slight confusion. Keep on trying and worship Him your way, not somebody elses. Prayers for your enlightenment.
Very good story. I really enjoyed the journey it took me on. Slight twist at end was beautiful. The spacing was great, I like using double space between paragraphs. Makes very easy to read, I loved the content and for some strange reason I pictured 'Alice' of Mels Diner. Good job. I enjoyed it. Keep writing.
Excellent article. No I am not a mother, but we had 5 babies and had to learn the hard way. A very wise move, new mothers to be should take note. A bag would have made our life much easier during those stressful few hours. I got this thru read and review click and glad I did. Very good job. Thank you !
Love that poem. The beginning and middle and end. We are not here by chance or luck of the stars. Nor do we live that way, enjoy life and the struggle. Thank you for the journey. Was smooth flowing and very clear in its meaning. Living in between is good way to approach life! I enjoyed reading this, thank you. Keep writing.
I was in Florida for Katrina and Wilma. We had a rough time but nothing what so ever like Louisiana. I think the story projects the feelings and emotions very well. It cause's one to stop and think about what was going on at that time and how well off some were compared to others. Very good write. I did enjoy the journey and memories it invokes. Keep on writing. May your days be filled with creativity.
Such a nice little poem. Very true in its content. We are a possessive society. As for the technical aspects I am not so familiar with. In all poetry that is, not just yours. I did enjoy the journey and the story it was saying, admire beauty, don't try to acquire it. Thank you for the thoughts brought forward, I enjoyed reading it. Keep on writing.
Very inspiring. The Creator never ignores what he has created. We just have to remember HE is the creator. The great I AM. Love your poem. Few lines with such a powerful message. Good job. Keep on writing, and may God bless your creativity for His glory. I enjoyed the vision your poem created.
Amazing!! I love it. Answered a few questions for me. I was thinking the other day. Convey an emotion, or elicit and emotion. Convey is showing eliciting is pulling the emotion from the reader. Very good write up. I will book mark this for reference. Good job. Keep on writing. May your days be filled with creativity.
About July I am looking on TV for the Hallmark Christmas shows to start. I love everything about Christmas. God gives each person what they need to do. Whether its just waving at the neighbor you never acknowledge, or giving to the less fortunate and homeless. I always feel another's actions are always amplified when God is acknowledged. Thank you for the inspiration. Keep on writing. May your days be filled with creativity.
I can picture you talking to whoever listening as you move around the kids and picking up things as you go. Finally getting one of them, the youngest and decree its nap time. Such a cute and inspiring picture you painted with well chosen words. I enjoyed the memories and the journey. Keep writing. May your days be filled with creativity.
Such a cool poem of the sea. I understand the feeling, having spent few years in Florida Keys. I love the words you used, brings back memories. The sea will always call you back. I too would love to be back near a beach. But alas landlocked in West Virginia. Loved the poem, it flowed very smoothly and easy to follow. Keep writing, may your days be filled with creativity.
Such a neat poem. I love everyone of the characters there, I can picture each one. You painted that picture very well. I enjoyed the journey, and think I know one or two of your characters. Or at least met them along the line somewhere. Same people I would meet when called out into the hollers to preach. You did an excellent rhyming job, I envy those that do that so easily. Thank you for introducing your characters. Keep on writing. May your day be filled with creativity.
I love what your doing here. The information is so interesting, I love the music as well. My hearing is going and hearing aids not helping much, but I can still hear it faintly. I will be looking at your others now. This was wonderful. Thank you for the journey.
I personally think everyone that is Christian needs this prayer. You just point out how we go through our days oblivious to how our words or actions affect others. Such a beautiful prayer, and I pray as well that his has come true for you. Keep writing, Keep praying, keep believing. I enjoyed this and feeling very inspired by it. May your days be filled with blessings and creativity. Thank you for the journey
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