This is a very moving Poem. You have expressed the deep love you feel for this person extremely well and in such a way that it can be felt by the reader.
The sincerity in which you write this is amazing and I am sure the person this was written for would have melted when they read it.
This is a Poem full of lovely and touching expression. Well done.
This was another feel good Poem penned by you.
Once again this Poem also had a sing-song feel to it which enhanced the theme of the Poem. The incorporation of Woodstock was creative because it was so important to this era.
This is an excellent Poem that screams creativity.
This Poem tells a sad tale but in a beautiful way. The imagery you have created for the reader is vivid and easy to get swept up in.
I enjoyed everything about this Poem and see no room for improvement. Well done.
I can relate to this personally on so many levels. This Poem touched me deeply because I felt you were writing my own personal experiences for me.
It is a tough road to have to walk down and one that I feel could be easily avoided if the person of authority showed some more compassion and a sense of morals and loyalty towards their kin.
The things that hurt us, although heart breaking, only make us stronger.
Best of luck to you and this is an amazing Poem.
Well done.
Write on!
This is a beautiful Poem with a very deep meaning.
It has been written with sophistication and can easily be felt by the reader.
The end is lovely and ties this Poem off nicely. The sincerity in which you write is vivid and I am sure the person this was written for would have been touched deeply.
Hello Dragonwriter
An appropriate Poem to suit your username.
This Poem has a nice flair to it. It is different and in all honesty I do not know anyone that does not like dragons.
The rhyme in this was good and you created some good imagery for your reader to enjoy.
The flow was strong and consistent throughout the entire item and the pace was slow and tranquil.
The only line that needs some attention is line 13. This line is a little shaky and stands out because it is not as strong as the others.
This is a beautiful write. It has been written with grace and elegance and in every sense of the word it is Poetic.
The transitions between the different changes of the two people were smooth and barely recognizable.
Your wordplay was hypnotic and enchanting and left me completely in awe.
This is a wonderful write that leaves the reader with a warm fuzzy feeling.
Well done to you. Much praise for this.
Write on!
I am understanding of the message you are trying to convey in this but your expression is lacking and you are not making it crystal clear to your reader what you are saying. The inner turmoil that is being portrayed has been done well but you are leading your reader through an argument you are having with yourself to an end that has no conclusion.
There were also may errors in this item and I will point them out to you in case you would like to edit. They are as follows:
1. Line 3- I wish i didn't make out with that boy. The (i) needs to be capitalized.
2. Line 4- I wish i could take it back so no one was mad at me. The (i) needs to be capitalized. The (i) in the 6th line also needs to be capitalized.
3. Line 7- I think i mite love him...
The (i) needs to be capitalized and (mite) should be 'might'
In general this is good. You just need to focus on creating a clearer message for your reader and adding some depth to your words. Try not to just TELL us how you are feeling, SHOW us in your words.
This is a great Poem you have here. This is made even more fantastic by the fact that this was your first Poem ever written.
I love the darkness in this. It is appealing and reached out to me easily pulling me into it and not letting me go.
The first and second stanza's were the highlight for me. They were powerful and well structured. I was mesmerised.
There were no visible errors in this item.
Well done. You are very talented and I am looking forward to reading more things you have written.
Write on!
This is a heart breaking Poem. Waiting for promises to be fulfilled is heartwrenching and this climaxes even further when they never come to fruition and the promise remain unfulfilled.
You express this hurt and anxiety that is suffered very well in this item.
There were no visible errors in this Poem.
Well done Write on!
Hello Lily Rose.
This is a great Poem that touches on a subject that can have many meanings. I agree with you, true beauty does come from within, but unfortunately many people miss it because of their ignorance.
I like that you have chosen to point out the small everyday things that hold beauty, that most take for granted.
I did notice some visible errors which I will point out to you as follows:
1. 4th stanza, 3rd line you wrote.
Beauty it little kids. 'it' should be 'is'.
2. Last stanza, 2nd line you wrote.
Like the starts, moon and sun?. 'starts' should be 'stars'.
One suggestion that I will make to you is to perhaps remove one of the repetitive verses.
What is beauty?
I want to know.
Is it hair, eyes and knowledge?
Please tell me.
This repetitive verse has been over-used. The Poem is too short to have it incorporated so frequently because it does not leave enough room for the other verses to shine through and take on significance.
Hello Lily Rose.
I love the title of this Poem. The title drew me in and made me want to know more.
The pattern you have used in this is great but I feel it would be better enhanced if the content was rhyme. The free verse does not make the repetitions stand out.
The content is good with a strong message but there are some visible errors with in it that require some editing. Mainly words that require a plural.
The flow is somewhat shaky and needs to be smoothed out. Perhaps a way of doing this would be to tighten up some of the longer verses.
In general this is a good Poem with a great deal of potential. Some extra focus to certain areas of this will make it soar.
Well done and best of luck with your future writings.
Write on!
This Poem has been written well.
I like the content. It is something I am sure has happened to many of us.
It was direct and told the story without branching off.
There were no visible errors in this item.
I have no suggestions for improvement because this item is fine the way it is.
Hello
This is an enjoyable read. The pace was nice and rhythmic but the flow was somewhat choppy. This is probably to do with the pattern you have written this to. I personally would re-think the pattern but it is your work therefore your choice.
Your wordplay is direct and simple, making this very easy for the reader to understand the message you are conveying.
I enjoyed the ending. It tied this Poem off nicely and leaves the reader with a sense of closure.
I like the direct style in which you write but you seem to be cutting your items short and only telling us part of a much bigger picture.
You are on a good track with this but you need to put more focus into the depth of the messages within your items.
I did notice some errors which I will point out to you as follows:
Line 2- 'Hiper'should be 'hyper'.
Lines 3, 4, and 5- Capitalize your (i's)
Hello
This is a good Poem and I like where you are going with it. Letting our children grow up and become their own people is a mother's worst fear. Thankfully mine are still young and I have not gone through the full throes of this yet. I would keep my kids at home with me forever if I could.
The transitions you make as you move through different stages for the parent and child, have been done nice and smoothly.
The different emotions incorporated into this are good and help to enhance the quality of the Poem.
The only visible error I could see was on line ten- You need to add another 'e' to 'keeping'.
This is a gripping read. The emotions are raw and grasp the readers attention.
I can feel the sorrow in your words. I to have felt these same emotions.
Sometimes death looks like a very appealing alternative to escape the pain and suffering we sometimes feel we are caged in, but you must always remember, what you are feeling in this you will leave behind for your loved ones to feel after your departure.
I hope this purge lightened some of your burden and the cloud of depression has now come to pass.
This is excellent! The unveiling of your true desires was mesmerising yet heart breaking at the same time.
To realize that everything you were is not what you want to be, and everything you have done is not what you actually wanted to do would be a painful acceptance to have to face.
I am thrilled there was a light at the end of this tunnel.
This is so sad because it happens so often. I hve experienced the same issues with my own child at school. It is unforgivable to make another person feel this way. I will never understand why children are so cruel.
I can understand what you are saying in this item. For some reason we feel compelled to push boundaries not only with others but with ourselves too. It is probably something to do with human inquisitive behaviour but who knows?
You have expressed yourself loud and clear in this item and well done to you for doing so.
I not only like this item but I can relate to it.
For reasons unknown some people cannot find it in their hearts to just accept a person for who they are. unfortunately most of the time it is the people we hold the most dear to us that are the ones who do this.
This was a good write. You have expressed vividly how you feel about this and I hope you stay true to yourself and continue being who you are.
Hello
This is an interesting Poem to read.
It has a very personal and deep feeling to it which drew me in from the beginning.
The descriptive wordplay you have used created some vivid imagery for your reader to visualize.
There were no visible errors in this item. Well done.
I see nothing that needs to be improved. It is fine the way it is.
Well done and best of luck with your future writings.
Write on!
Hello
You seem to have a passion for writing Poems about nature and this shows in your work.
The descriptive wordplay that you weave through your work helps to bring your Poem over the finish line.
This one however does need some focus in certain areas.
You have used rhyme in this but it slowly begins to fizz and you revert back to free verse. This Poem would be greatly improved if you selected one pattern for this to be written to.
As I have mentioned previously in an earlier review of your work, you need to capitalize the first letter at the beginning of each stanza.
Once you are able to smooth out these small details this Poem will be fantastic.
Well done and best of luck with your future writings.
Write on!
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