Hello
This is a nice Poem that tells a story. I like how you began this in the past and then guided it to the present.
The transition was smooth and worked well.
My only suggestion to you is to add some more emotion to this. The story is great but I am not FEELING it. By incorporating some extra emotion into this it will help your reader to be able to identify with the character in the Poem. They will then be able to share in the story of the Poem with her.
Well done and best of luck with your future writings.
Write on!
I love the swirl of emotions in this.
The yearning in particular is palpable and builds up a sense of anticipation within the reader.
Your wordplay is excellent and really brings this across the finish line.
The pattern you have used, strengthens each word and pauses in just the right areas to emphasize the meanings behind them.
I enjoyed this very much. You have done a great job.
Well done and I look forward to reading more of your items.
Hello
I like this Poem. Your descriptive wordplay draws the reader into your Poem with ease. You express your emotions well and because they are so direct, you force them onto your reader to feel with you.
The only aspect of this that did not appeal to me was some of the vintage word selections. They were too old for this Poem and took away some of the edge of the emotions you were expressing.
The wordplay in your Poem is good. Your imagery is excellent and you paint a vivd picture for the reader to get swept up in.
However there is not much emotion of any kind in this. You explain the emotion in this Poem but you are not showing it. This aspect needs some extra attention to enhance your Poem so your reader can become more invovled.
Well done and best of luck with your future writings.
Hello
This is a good 55 word item. You send a very clear and true message in your content and it is good that you have been able to express yourself in such a short space.
You have done a wonderful job.
Well done.
Write on!
I like the way you have reflected while you have written this. Once again your expression is vivid and you have successfully conveyed your message.
My suggestions to you for improvement is to tighten up some of the content. Certain lines drag on for too long and it is harder for the reader to remain focused on your item.
Besides this, nothing else needs to be changed.
Well done and best of luck with your future writings.
Write on!
Hello
I can completely relate to what this Poem is about.
I have experienced the same emotions myself. You have expressed your inner turmoil very vividly to your reader.
*Tip- Capitalize your 'i' on the last line.*
This is a good read, written with plenty of emotion.
Well done.
Write on!
Hello
I like the message you are attempting to express here.
Truth is a subject that has many sides. It is something that we would all like to receive, yet sometimes when we are blessed with it, we choose to be ignorant because we do not want to hear the truth that we are being given.
It is a subject that will always be open for debate.
You have expressed your message in this clearly and vividly. The only attention this item requires is, for you to correctly capitalize.
At the beginning of each new sentence the first letter of that word needs to be capitalized.
Well done to you for an interesting item.
Write on!
Hello
I enjoyed reading this item. It rekindled memories of times when I have been visiting different places. It was a nice walk down memory lane.
Everything in this reads well and it was a breath of fresh air to read something different from the 'norm'.
My only suggestion to you is: You repeat 'a little more' quite a few times in this item. Remove some of them and replace them with something different so you lose the repetitive feel.
Hello
This letter is touching and the emotion jumps out at the reader with ease.
The regret and sorrow is expressed well in this and can be felt through your words.
My only suggestion to you is to: Remove some of the repetitions. You repeat 'when I let love go' quite a number of times and because this letter is so short they fuse together.
This is a touching read that pulls on the heart strings.
Well done.
Write on!
Hello
Through your words you have painted a very vivid picture of spring for your reader to enjoy.
This has nice, calming tones flowing through it, further enhancing the quality of the Poem.
I did notice two things that you may like to look at again.
The first letter of the first word requires capitalization because it is your starting point.
The last line is a little choppy and does not flow right. Perhaps with some focus on this line you could smooth it out.
Well done, it was an enjoyable read.
Keep up the excellent work.
Write on!
You have expressed yourself clearly and asked yourself some very important questions that the reader has no choice but to ask themselves.
Through the directness with which you have written this, you force the reader to reflect upon themselves.
I like that you kept this short and simple. It worked well and jumped out at me with force.
This is an excellent write and I hope to see more of your work.
I love the way you have weaved the rhyme through this. It worked well because you balanced it just right.
The directness of this is great. You leave no room for the reader to make their own interpretation of this because you have laid it all out in front of them.
Well done. This was a good write and an enjoyable read.
Best of luck with all your future writings.
Write on!
Hello
This is an interesting write. It would be better enhanced if you were able to add onto this when you have the time. Fill it with some more deepth as you add some length.
This is a great template to work with. It is vivid and has some strong tendencies. You ar definitely heading in the right direction with this.
Well done to you.
Best of luck with your future writings.
Write on!
This is very good.
I enjoyed the reflection you have put into this for your reader, to take them to another time. This aspect of the Poem is creative and very appealing.
However, I feel this ends too abruptly.
It is travelling along nicely and then..Bang...it's over and leaves the reader unsatisfied.
Consider adding some length to this and this will be excellent.
Well done. Best of luck with your future writings.
Write on!
I like the spirit in this. Your words are uplifting and transport the reader to the setting you have created for them.
In general this is a good Poem, it just needs a bit of fine tuning.
Some of the sentences do not flow well and require some attention. You have also incorporated capitalization into words that do not need it.
Once you are able to fine tune this, it will be an excellent read. The theme is great!
Well done. Best of luck with your future writings.
This Poem has a dark theme to it, which as a dark writer myself, I find appealing.
This Poem also has a haunting feel to it. You have written it in such a way that it will be hard for your readers to forget this in a hurry. Well done.
I did notice a few errors which Iwill point out to you as follows:
Line 1- Capitalize the first letter of this line.
Line 3- Capitalize your 'i'.
Line 1 of second verse- Capitalize the first letter of this line.
Well done for expressing yourself clearly and fluently to your reader.
Best of luck with your future writings.
Write on!
This is a kind write.
You have expressed a sincere thanks and gratitude to this person through your writing and it is easy for the reader to see the bond shared between the two of you.
There is one line in particular that does not flow right.
'Why me you picked I don't know'.
This would flow smoother as: Why you picked me I do not know.
Well done. This is a nice Poem of gratitude to someone who is special to you. It is heartwarming.
This is a good Poem.
I enjoyed the way you incorporated the title into the last line of each verse. It gave this Poem a strong tone.
I enjoyed the content and could completely relate to it and I am sure others will too.
I could see no visible errors with your punctuation or grammar. Well done.
My only suggestion to you for improvement is to take another look at line 4 of the first verse. This line does not flow well and does not seem to fit in with the rst of the poem. I would put some focus onto that particular line.
In general this was a well written Poem and a pleasure to read.
Well done and I look forward to reading more of your work.
I think this is a good template for something better.
The emotion you have put into this shows and can be felt but would greatly improve if you were to expand upon it.
You write-
I constantly think
And wish for a link.
You need to add some depth to this and explain to your reader, what link you are wishing for? What this link would do for you if you were to receive it.
It's little intimate snippets of information like this that helps the reader to identify with what you are saying and in turn become more involved in your words.
If you expand upon this, add some more depth and create a clearer message for your reader to grasp this will be excellent.
This is just my opinion and should be taken as that. Only you know what is right for your work. Please feel free to take any advice I have offered that suits you and discard the rest.
Well done for expressing your emotions vividly to your reader.
Best of luck with your future writings.
This is creative to base an entire Poem on water.
It has a nice flow and pace to it and literally reads smoothly to me. It is very easy to for the reader to get a sense of water as they are reading it because of your vivid descriptions.
However...I did notice some errors with your spelling and capitalization.
1. ellegent is correctly spelt 'elegant'.
2. all of the 'i'm' need to be capitalized to 'I'm'
This was a good write. Thank you for sharing your writing talent. Best of luck with your future writings.
This has a great flow. The flow is nice and smooth through out the entire item.
The pace is nice and steady and does not skip a beat.
I enjoyed how you incorporated the 'falling falling' here and there. It was a nice touch and I do not feel that you over-used it.
This was an enjoyable read.
Well done.
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