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1
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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece is beautifully atmospheric, with a lush, immersive quality that immediately draws the reader into the forest and the mystical world you’ve built. Your descriptions are vivid and sensual: the scent of rain, the rustle of unseen creatures, the shimmer of moonlight on water—all of these details make the scene come alive. You have a strong sense of pacing, moving the reader from the quiet intimacy of the forest to the rising tension of the trial and transformation, and finally to the reflective, almost sacred conclusion. The repeated references to Sister Moon and her guidance give the story a mythical, timeless quality, which pairs well with the framing as a tale told to grandchildren.

The emotional depth here is compelling. The narrator’s longing for the maiden, their vulnerability, and the intense physical and spiritual trial they endure are all vividly conveyed. The pain and transformation feel real, and you capture the mix of fear, devotion, and hope beautifully. The dialogue with Sister Moon is simple yet weighty, providing both guidance and forewarning, which heightens the stakes and adds gravitas to the story.

A few areas could benefit from subtle refinement. Some sentences are long and heavily punctuated, which occasionally slows the momentum during high-tension moments, like the transformation by the pool. Breaking these into shorter, punchier sentences could heighten the immediacy of the pain and struggle. There’s also a bit of repetition in phrasing around the maiden’s beauty and the wolf’s yearning; condensing or varying these descriptions slightly could make them hit harder. Finally, the transition from intense mythic drama to the gentle, instructive tone of the family tale is a bit abrupt; softening that bridge could make the ending feel more organic and emotionally resonant.

Overall, this is a rich, enchanting piece. It successfully blends myth, emotion, and magical realism into a story that feels both intimate and epic. The sensory details, the weight of the trials, and the cyclical legacy of the wolves create a narrative that lingers in the mind. With minor tweaks to sentence rhythm and repetition, it could feel even more immersive and emotionally powerful.


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2
2
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem has a heartfelt and respectful tone, and it’s clear you’re aiming to honor the sacrifices of service members and their families. The language is earnest and reverent, and lines like “Love's kingdom / Continues to honor the mightiest soldiers” and “Sow victory into a service / Of tradition and maximum grade” convey admiration and pride. There’s a ceremonial rhythm to the piece, which fits the theme of tribute and commemoration.

The imagery is noble but could be made more vivid by showing specific actions or moments rather than abstract qualities. Phrases like “strength and character are embodied through countless tests” and “attempt to colorfully bear the duties of freedom and sacrifice” are clear, but they could gain more emotional punch if paired with concrete examples—perhaps a brief glimpse into a soldier’s daily struggle or a family’s quiet endurance. That would help the reader feel the stakes and sacrifices more personally.

The poem sometimes leans heavily on formal phrasing, which can distance the reader slightly. Lines such as “of this extremely proud land” and “for all of God's creatures to admire” are sincere, but adjusting them with a touch of natural, human perspective could make the piece resonate more immediately. For instance, showing how families live, remember, or celebrate those sacrifices could create an emotional connection.

Overall, the poem succeeds in expressing deep respect and gratitude, and the dedication comes through strongly. With some trimming of abstract phrasing and the addition of a few tangible images or moments, it could feel more intimate and impactful while maintaining its ceremonial and celebratory tone. Right now, it reads like a formal tribute; adding small, human touches would make it a vivid, heartfelt homage.


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3
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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This chapter is engaging and immersive, really pulling the reader into the tension of the meeting and the intricacies of your world. You’ve done an excellent job balancing character dynamics with worldbuilding. The interplay between Alenyah, Kaelen, and the other Stoneborn creates a rich sense of hierarchy and cultural texture, and the reader can feel the weight of the moment without needing long expository passages. I especially liked the way the Song is woven into Alenyah’s reactions—it gives her inner world a distinct, almost mystical rhythm that adds tension and stakes beyond the physical space.

Your descriptive writing is strong. The Stoneborn are vividly imagined, and small details like Kaelen’s amber eyes, the silver dust on his skin, and Foxran’s obsidian veins make the characters memorable. The sensory imagery—like the Ironwood beams, the candlelight glinting on Kaelen’s skin, and the smells of the roast—grounds the scene in realism even as the story flirts with high fantasy. The contrast between Alenyah’s impulsive emotions and the Stoneborn’s controlled presence keeps the scene dynamic and layered.

There are a few areas where tightening could heighten the impact. Some sentences are long and layered with multiple clauses, which occasionally slows the momentum at points of high tension, such as when Alenyah reacts to the map. Breaking these sentences up, or alternating between shorter, punchy lines and descriptive ones, could increase the sense of urgency. A few small redundancies appear, such as repeated focus on skin shimmering or Silver/amber descriptions, which could be trimmed without losing vividness.

The dialogue works well; each character has a distinct voice, and the interplay between Alenyah’s fiery temperament and Berin’s tentative explanations is convincing. Tavren and Seth add small but effective texture and relief to the tension, giving the scene a lived-in feel.

Overall, this chapter is gripping and well-paced. It balances character introduction, tension, and worldbuilding beautifully. With minor refinements to sentence rhythm and some repeated descriptive phrasing, it could feel even sharper and more immediate, but as it stands, it’s a strong, immersive chapter that sets the stakes high and makes the reader invested in Alenyah’s next move.


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Review of Wanderlust  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece has a lot of charm and a vivid sense of place, and it really shows your enthusiasm for nature and the emotional resonance it can hold. I can see that you’re trying to capture how different landscapes and elements evoke distinct feelings, which is a strong foundation. Each line functions almost like a snapshot, giving the reader a direct emotional response to a sensory experience. There’s a nice rhythm to the list-like structure, and the imagery—tea gardens, fleecy snowflakes, dense forests—is tangible and easy to picture.

At the same time, some parts could benefit from subtle refinement to make the emotions hit harder. For instance, phrases like “make me feel energetic” or “make my heart filled with sheer delight” are clear but could be more evocative by showing the feeling through action or metaphor rather than directly stating it. You could, for example, describe how the tea-garden scents lift your spirits or make your steps lighter, which allows the reader to experience the sensation rather than just being told about it.

The ending is intriguing, with the speaker following “like a servant” wherever this force goes. It adds a sense of devotion and personal connection to the landscapes described. However, the phrasing “like a servant, I am at your beck and call” feels a bit abrupt compared to the earlier, more gentle imagery. You might explore a subtler metaphor of loyalty or attachment that blends with the natural imagery established earlier.

Overall, it’s a warm, sensory-rich poem with strong imagery and emotion. With slight tweaks to make the feelings more lived-in and the metaphors more fluid, it could feel even more immersive and memorable. You’re clearly drawn to the way nature moves the soul, and that enthusiasm is infectious.


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5
5
Review of Subject Zero  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Now this is cinematic. The writing grips right from the start and sustains tension all the way through. It reads like a prologue to a high stakes thriller or a dark sci fi film. The pacing is tight, the buildup gradual and satisfying, and the final moment hits like a gut punch.

The worldbuilding is particularly sharp. You establish the scope of Vault 13 and the Order of the Unbroken Seal in just a few lines, without drowning the reader in exposition. The mix of bureaucracy, myth, and decay gives it a believable realism. You can feel how time eroded both discipline and belief. That slow degradation makes the final awakening of Subject Zero ten times more chilling. It’s a perfect case of long tension paid off in a single, violent instant.

Elias Kane is a solid everyman character; relatable, weary, and out of his depth. His small details (the thermos of stale coffee, the phone scrolling, the disbelief) make him human before chaos hits. That’s good storytelling instinct: make the reader care about the guard, so the horror of Zero’s release actually lands.

Stylistically, your prose balances clarity and atmosphere well. Sentences flow cleanly; the rhythm of short and long lines mirrors the tension curve. You could strengthen the sensory layer just a touch, more on the smell of metal, the cold air, the sound of boots on concrete, to pull the reader even deeper into that bunker.

But as it stands, it’s a vivid, tightly written piece that would make an incredible opening to a longer story. The concept of an immortal imprisoned for centuries, forgotten by his jailers, is both tragic and terrifying. When the door blows open and the light flares, it feels like history itself waking up angry.

If this is a teaser for a series, you’re off to a fantastic start. It hooks, delivers, and leaves the reader staring at the aftermath, wondering not if the world will survive but how long it has left.


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Review of Hear me..  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem feels raw and honest, almost like a journal entry that turned into a confession. There’s something deeply human about it: frustration tangled with love, empathy running headfirst into exhaustion. The repetition of “Can’t hear” and “He answers what he thinks he heard” really captures that maddening disconnect that happens when communication breaks down, not just between two people who are deaf, but between anyone who refuses to truly listen.
The poem’s structure, with its short, uneven lines and bursts of caps near the end, perfectly mirrors the speaker’s emotional state. It feels like the rhythm keeps breaking because patience is breaking too. That’s what gives it strength. It’s not polished or calm, it’s alive and irritated, like someone trying to hold onto understanding while surrounded by misunderstanding.
The contrast between “I enjoy being with him” and “He is so difficult to get along with sometimes” pulls the reader into that emotional back-and-forth. It’s not bitterness, it’s fatigue. The kind of fatigue that comes from caring deeply but constantly hitting walls. The final outburst, “I NEED MORE PATIENCE FOR THIS IGNORANCE, ENTITLEMENT, AND ARROGANCE!”, lands like a thunderclap. It feels earned.
If anything, the poem’s power lies in how personal it feels. You could easily expand this into a longer piece exploring that tension. How love and frustration coexist when communication itself becomes a battlefield. But even as is stands, it’s sharp, emotional, and real. It doesn’t ask for sympathy. It demands recognition.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
That’s a charming little poem—it has a light, inviting rhythm that feels like an open door to imagination. The rhymes work well for its playful tone, and the structure gives it a nice, sing-song quality that could easily appeal to both kids and adults who still remember what it’s like to get lost in a story.

What stands out most is how simply it captures the magic of reading. Lines like “Open a book, step through the page, / become a mage” do a great job setting that whimsical mood right away. It instantly evokes that feeling of transformation—how reading turns you into someone else for a while. The repetition of encouragement in “Don’t be shy! Look! / Safe in the book.” makes it warm and reassuring, like a friendly invitation.

If you wanted to polish it just a bit, you could consider tightening a few spots for rhythm. For example, “Any book’ll do!” is casual and fun, but maybe smoothing that into “Any book will do” would help the final couplet land more gracefully, depending on your audience. Still, keeping the contraction adds personality, so it’s really a stylistic choice.

Overall, it reads like a small anthem for book lovers, a reminder of how stories let us step into countless lives and worlds. It’s simple, musical, and genuine. I’d rate it as a short but heartfelt piece that could easily fit on a library poster or at the start of a children’s reading program. It sparks curiosity—and that’s exactly what a poem about books should do.

WriterRick


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece is short but has a sincere and meaningful message. It reads almost like a devotional reflection or a guiding statement about spiritual growth. You’ve touched on three core ideas from Scripture; renewing the mind, pursuing holiness, and displaying the fruit of the Spirit; which together form a strong foundation for what it means to live a godly life.

Here’s what works really well:

Clarity of purpose: You go straight to the heart of Christian living; transformation, holiness, and the fruit of the Spirit. Each element connects clearly to biblical teaching, making the message easy to follow and spiritually sound.

Sincerity: There’s an honest, humble tone in your writing. It doesn’t lecture; it feels like quiet encouragement, almost as if you’re reminding yourself and others what truly matters.

Structure: The piece has a logical order; mind, heart, and behavior. This natural flow mirrors the way transformation happens: first inwardly, then outwardly.

That said, you could strengthen the writing by tightening grammar and giving each idea a little more rhythm or depth. For example:

To live a godly life, as the Bible teaches,
we must allow our minds to be renewed,
so we can discern the will of God.
We must strive to be holy, for God Himself is holy.
And we must bear the fruit of the Spirit—
love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

This version keeps your original meaning but adds a more natural flow and poetic cadence. It feels like something that could be read aloud in a devotional or church setting.

You might also consider expanding each principle a bit more. For instance, what does it look like to have a renewed mind in daily life? How does holiness express itself in action? What does it mean to bear fruit when tested or hurt? Adding even a few sentences of reflection would deepen the message and make it more relatable.

Overall, your writing reflects genuine faith and an understanding of biblical truth. With a bit more polish and personal insight, this could easily serve as a short devotional piece that encourages others to reflect on their walk with God.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem is absolutely beautiful. It feels tender, hesitant, and deeply human. It captures that ache between fear and longing in such an intimate way that the reader feels like they’re standing right beside the narrator, hand trembling on that door handle.

What stands out most is your balance of vulnerability and restraint. You never oversell emotion; instead, you let it breathe through simple, clean imagery. The door becomes a perfect metaphor for love, something ordinary yet full of quiet power. When you write lines like “the kind that sighs when you touch the handle / as if it already knows your name,” it gives love a presence; something alive, patient, almost sentient. That touch of personification makes the fear feel even more real.

Your rhythm flows naturally, conversational but poetic. The spacing between stanzas feels intentional, allowing each “What if” to echo like a recurring thought that the narrator can’t quite silence. The repetition works beautifully. It’s not redundant; it’s reflective. It mirrors how doubt and hope circle one another when someone stands at the edge of vulnerability.

The third stanza, with the paper heart, is especially strong. It’s fragile, tactile, and heartbreaking. There’s a simplicity in “ink running from all the times I rewrote your name” that speaks volumes about love’s persistence and imperfection.

The closing stanza resolves everything softly but powerfully. You don’t promise a fairytale ending, just the courage to open the door and see what’s there. That final image, “you / still smiling / like the risk was worth it all along”, lands beautifully because it suggests that love’s reward isn’t certainty, but connection itself.

If I were to suggest anything, it’d only be this: consider whether the line “the Menagerie of What Ifs keeps growing” could be pared down or rephrased slightly. It’s interesting, but the word menagerie momentarily breaks the delicate tone you’ve built. Something a bit softer might keep the emotional flow more seamless.

Overall, though, this is a stunning piece. It feels like a whispered confession, a moment of truth spoken at the edge of courage. It’s not just about love. it’s about daring to step toward it, even when your hands are shaking.

WriterRick


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10
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece, Something About an Old Window, is quietly beautiful in its simplicity. It feels like a small captured moment — the kind of quiet scene that holds more emotion than it first seems. The writing carries a sense of calm observation, almost meditative, and that works perfectly with the imagery of the lace curtain, the cracked paint, and the still cat.

What stands out most is the atmosphere you create. You manage to evoke that bittersweet mix of nostalgia and loneliness without ever saying it outright. The details about the cracked white paint and faded lace curtain do a lot of emotional heavy lifting; they suggest the passage of time, the way beauty can linger even in decay. It’s a short piece, but it holds a strong emotional center — the kind of stillness that makes the reader stop and look a little closer.

The choice to focus on what the narrator cannot see — the cat’s color, what’s outside the window — is actually quite effective. It keeps the story inward, turning the attention to the narrator’s quiet observation rather than the outside world. That final line, “It is a lonely cat,” lands softly but meaningfully. It isn’t dramatic; it’s just true. And because of that, it feels real.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of At the Park  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This short piece, At the Park, has a really fun and lighthearted tone that gives it a nice mix of humor and imagination. It starts out as a believable, everyday conversation between two friends, but quickly tilts into something delightfully absurd — squirrels plotting lunch thefts. That blend of realism and whimsy makes the story charming and memorable.

The dialogue between Jeff and Ted feels natural and flows smoothly. You’ve done a good job of capturing their personalities through their exchanges — Jeff’s skepticism comes across right away, while Ted’s earnestness makes his story oddly convincing. Their banter feels like something overheard at a park bench, which keeps it grounded even as the situation gets sillier.

The shift in perspective at the end, moving from the human characters to the squirrels, is clever and gives the story its best punchline. The names — Chip, Hop, and Ramsey — add to the playfulness. That closing line about “waiting for a nanny with a stroller” is the perfect note to end on, because it suggests that the squirrels actually are running a little operation. It wraps the story with a wink rather than an open end, which works nicely.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This story is charming, clever, and full of energy—it really nails a slice-of-life, teen ingenuity vibe. Here’s a detailed review of what’s working well and where it could be strengthened:

Strengths

Strong Character Voice:

Jena’s personality comes through immediately: logical, slightly sardonic, and inventive.

The contrast with Marla—an enthusiastic, socially aware, and traditionally creative sister—creates natural tension and humor.

Minor touches (like Jena sewing her sweater to the tablecloth) are memorable, funny, and reveal personality efficiently.

Humor and Tone:

The story balances frustration, humor, and triumph perfectly.

Lines like “Threads clung to her jeans like static-charged spiderwebs” and “a disco ball on her head” give the narrative vivid, playful imagery.

The subtle sarcasm in Jena’s narration keeps the reader smiling without derailing the story’s tension.

Creative Problem-Solving:

Jena turning a sewing project into a tech experiment is clever, fun, and believable given her established personality.

The story celebrates a different kind of creativity, highlighting STEM skills in a teen social setting.

The LED pulsing to music scene is visually exciting and a clear payoff for the setup.

Pacing and Structure:

The story builds naturally: problem introduction → escalating tension (Jena struggling) → inventive solution → public payoff → personal growth.

The back-and-forth dialogue keeps the pace brisk while showing character dynamics.

Emotional Payoff:

Marla’s gratitude and the peer recognition at the party give satisfying emotional closure.

Jena gains confidence in her own abilities while maintaining her unique perspective, which is a gratifying arc.

Areas to Strengthen

Transitions and Scene Flow:

The shifts from Jena thinking about sewing → planning the engineering solution → rapid montage of construction are effective, but you could smooth a few transitions to avoid feeling like a jump cut. A sentence or two bridging her decision to build the hat and the first few hours of work could make the progression more fluid.

Example: After “What if I… built one?”, a line like “She immediately started sketching diagrams and scavenging supplies, her mind buzzing with calculations” could ease the leap.

Sensory Details During the Party:

You capture visuals well (LEDs, hats, poolside scene), but adding some tactile or auditory notes could make the setting more immersive.

For example, the bass thump of the DJ, the heat of lights overhead, or the stickiness of the poolside humidity could ground the scene further.

Minor Clarity Tweaks:

The repeated ComputerTophatComputer lines are stylistically interesting but might confuse some readers. Consider adding context or formatting to indicate these are montage markers or internal rhythms of her work.

Small Character Beats:

Marla is mostly reactive to Jena, which works for her role, but a tiny scene showing her contribution or initiative during the hat-building (even a small assist or encouragement) would reinforce the “team effort” without overshadowing Jena.

Overall Impression

This is a fun, upbeat story with excellent character work, humor, and a satisfying payoff. It does a wonderful job of blending creativity, problem-solving, and sibling dynamics in a teen setting. The stakes are simple but effective—Jena overcoming her own limitations while helping her sister—and the ending is both emotionally and narratively satisfying.

If polished slightly with smoother transitions, added sensory depth at the party, and a touch more balance for Marla, it could easily shine as a short story that readers would remember and smile about.

Verdict: Engaging, clever, and heartwarming. I’d give it a solid A, with room to make it even more immersive with a few small tweaks.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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13
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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Intergalactic U.P.F Peacekeepers reads like a militaristic sci-fi epic that’s only just beginning to stretch its wings. The story sets an impressive stage — humanity in 2389, fully united and technologically ascendant, yet still tethered to that timeless struggle for control and discipline. It’s a vision of the future that feels both grand and chilling, filled with order, pride, and unrelenting purpose. What makes this piece stand out isn’t just the worldbuilding, but the tone: it captures the suffocating uniformity of life in a rigid military state while still evoking awe for the scale of human advancement.

From the start, the writer builds an almost propaganda-like rhythm, especially in how the narrator describes unity, empire, and duty. The repetition — of bells, marching, silence — turns routine into ritual. That methodical pace effectively immerses the reader in the protagonist’s reality: one where individuality is systematically erased, replaced by obedience and pride in serving something larger. The piece almost reads like a manual turned to life — mechanical, precise, but purposefully so. You feel the weight of discipline pressing down on the characters.

Lieutenant Admiral Gideon Drox’s speech near the end cements that tone beautifully. It’s bombastic, fervent, and disturbingly inspiring. The way it mirrors real-world totalitarian rhetoric feels intentional — the “brothers, sisters, heroes, champions” line could have easily come from a war-era broadcast. That kind of writing walks a thin line between pride and propaganda, and this story uses that tension well.

If there’s a critique, it’s pacing and emotional connection. The piece leans heavily on procedural detail — which builds immersion but risks dulling the emotional heartbeat of the story. Readers get a clear sense of the environment but not yet of the individual behind the uniform. The cadet’s single moment of humanity — cracking a grin — is the first real spark of personality, and it’s swiftly punished. If future installments expand on that internal conflict (duty versus self), the story could gain real emotional depth.

Stylistically, the prose is consistent and confident. The formal tone fits the setting, and the meticulous structure mirrors the militarized world perfectly. However, breaking that rhythm occasionally — letting the protagonist think, remember, or question — would add a stronger personal layer without sacrificing tone.

Overall, Intergalactic U.P.F Peacekeepers is a compelling start. It’s cinematic, disciplined, and grand in scope, like an introduction to a vast, morally complex universe. The foundation is solid; the world feels believable and lived-in. The next step is to let humanity — the messy, unpredictable kind — slip through those cracks of uniformity. That’s where this story will truly come alive.

Rating: 8.5/10 — stunning worldbuilding and atmosphere, with room to deepen the character’s emotional presence.


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Review of Dark and LIght  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
“Dark and Light” is a beautifully balanced poem that reflects deeply on the relationship between contrast and meaning — both visually and emotionally. The use of Vermeer as a metaphor for how light and shadow coexist gives the poem a timeless and thoughtful anchor. The poet doesn’t just admire Vermeer’s technique but connects it to human experience, suggesting that darkness gives light its value, just as hardship gives beauty to joy.

The imagery is rich yet understated. Lines like “touches a face” and “rebounds off a copper jug” are sensory and elegant, bringing Vermeer’s world to life while keeping the tone calm and reflective. The shift to the modern image of “flicking a switch” feels clever and natural, grounding the poem in contemporary thought. It’s a smooth way to show how too much clarity — or constant “light” — can overwhelm rather than illuminate.

The closing reflection that “without the darkness, light is merely everyday” ties everything together with quiet wisdom. It’s not a pessimistic view, but rather an acceptance that both shadow and light define each other — in art, in emotion, in life itself. The writing feels mature and graceful, carrying the kind of insight that lingers long after reading.

Overall, it’s a poem of restraint, elegance, and understanding — one that turns a simple truth into something genuinely moving.


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15
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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece, The Abortion Paradox, is weighty, deeply personal, and clearly the product of decades of thought and contemplation. It comes across as both an argument and a confession, laying out not just your position on abortion but also the philosophical journey that shaped it. What works most strongly is the conviction in your voice—you write with passion, with certainty, and with an obvious desire to push readers toward deeper reflection. That intensity will resonate with those who already share your outlook and may challenge those who don’t.

That said, there are a few areas where the essay could benefit from refinement, especially if your goal is not only to state your position but also to open the door to broader dialogue:

1. Tone and Accessibility
The language is often dense and formal, which risks shutting out some readers. Sentences sometimes run long, packed with clauses and philosophical terms, which makes it harder to follow the thread of your argument. If your intent is to reach across divides, you might want to balance the intellectual rigor with moments of plain, direct language. For example, the passages on autonomy and responsibility are powerful but could be more striking if stated simply, without as much philosophical scaffolding.

2. Balance Between Argument and Reflection
The essay spends a lot of time situating your personal history—your Catholic upbringing, your relationship with objectivism, your disappointment with politics and religion. These sections are valuable in showing your credibility and personal evolution, but they sometimes overshadow the central argument about abortion itself. Trimming or tightening those digressions could help sharpen the focus. Readers might be more persuaded if they feel you’re guiding them directly into the paradox, rather than circling it for too long.

3. Invitation to Dialogue
You stress the importance of reasoned, civil conversation, yet the language in parts is more combative—words like “abomination,” “atrocious,” or “genocide” will likely provoke resistance instead of curiosity. This doesn’t weaken your argument outright, but it does risk hardening the positions of those who disagree. If your goal is to challenge without alienating, you might consider reserving those terms for later, once you’ve built more common ground.

4. Strength of the Paradox Theme
You frame abortion as a paradox but don’t always circle back to that framing. The definition from Wikipedia is useful, but what could strengthen the essay is weaving the paradox idea more consistently through your critique. For example: autonomy vs. responsibility, freedom vs. life, objectivism’s individualism vs. its stance on abortion. Tying each contradiction explicitly back to the paradox would give the essay a sharper thematic spine.

5. Structure and Flow
The essay feels like several overlapping essays—part memoir, part philosophical statement, part cultural critique. Each section has merit, but together they sometimes feel disjointed. You might think about whether you want this to function as a manifesto (unapologetic, declarative, meant to take a stand) or as an inquiry (thoughtful, probing, meant to invite discussion). Right now, it straddles both, and that can dilute the impact.

Overall, the piece is bold and uncompromising, and that in itself is a strength. You’re not hedging your words, and you’re not watering down your convictions. If you can streamline your language, clarify the paradox framework, and decide whether you want persuasion or dialogue to take priority, this could become not just a statement of belief but a powerful, thought-provoking work that sparks exactly the conversations you want it to.


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Review of Only You And Me  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice Piece.

What works

The poem’s heart is honest and simple. The speaker’s voice feels devotional and direct, which matches the title and theme: a personal, intimate plea. Lines like “Touch the darkness / Of my impossible heart” have emotional weight; they’re raw and relatable. Repetition of the idea “Only you and I” gives the poem a clear center and keeps the stakes personal. The overall arc — struggle, climb, arrival, acceptance — reads like a full emotional journey even in vignette form.

Where it could be stronger
Right now much of the poem leans on abstract language (God, Free will, mountain, forever’s tomorrow). Swapping a few abstractions for vivid, concrete images would make the emotional climb feel lived-in rather than told. Some lines could use more consistent punctuation and tighter phrasing; a few sentences run long and wander, which weakens momentum.

A few specific suggestions
• Tighten diction. “Master of all people / Christians and heathens alike” could be shortened or made more vivid. The contrast is a little blunt.
• Use punctuation to guide the reader. Add commas and periods where the thought ends so cadence matches the meaning.
• Trim or vary repeated phrases. The refrain “Only you and I, us / Is what I desperately need” is heartfelt but could be shortened to increase impact.
• Show a small scene. A single sensory detail (cold dawn on the mountain, a scar, a key in a palm) will root the spiritual moment and make the ending feel earned.
• Watch grammar: “God I without question understand” reads clearer as “God, I, without question, understand” or “God — I understand without question.”

Tiny revision suggestion (polished stanza)
Touch the darkness of my impossible heart —
lend me your hand, Father. I have climbed,
crossed the hard ridge of free will, and stand
at the small, cold summit where choices thin.
I am not perfect. I am only here, steady,
breathing the thin air of a life remade.
Hold me — not for my triumph, but because
I have come back to you.

Overall impression
This is a sincere, promising vignette with strong emotional honesty. Focus on a couple of concrete images, tidy the punctuation, and tighten some lines and the piece will feel much more immediate and powerful

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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17
17
Review of Only You And Me  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice Piece.

What works

The poem’s heart is honest and simple. The speaker’s voice feels devotional and direct, which matches the title and theme: a personal, intimate plea. Lines like “Touch the darkness / Of my impossible heart” have emotional weight; they’re raw and relatable. Repetition of the idea “Only you and I” gives the poem a clear center and keeps the stakes personal. The overall arc — struggle, climb, arrival, acceptance — reads like a full emotional journey even in vignette form.

Where it could be stronger
Right now much of the poem leans on abstract language (God, Free will, mountain, forever’s tomorrow). Swapping a few abstractions for vivid, concrete images would make the emotional climb feel lived-in rather than told. Some lines could use more consistent punctuation and tighter phrasing; a few sentences run long and wander, which weakens momentum.

A few specific suggestions
• Tighten diction. “Master of all people / Christians and heathens alike” could be shortened or made more vivid. The contrast is a little blunt.
• Use punctuation to guide the reader. Add commas and periods where the thought ends so cadence matches the meaning.
• Trim or vary repeated phrases. The refrain “Only you and I, us / Is what I desperately need” is heartfelt but could be shortened to increase impact.
• Show a small scene. A single sensory detail (cold dawn on the mountain, a scar, a key in a palm) will root the spiritual moment and make the ending feel earned.
• Watch grammar: “God I without question understand” reads clearer as “God, I, without question, understand” or “God — I understand without question.”

Tiny revision suggestion (polished stanza)
Touch the darkness of my impossible heart —
lend me your hand, Father. I have climbed,
crossed the hard ridge of free will, and stand
at the small, cold summit where choices thin.
I am not perfect. I am only here, steady,
breathing the thin air of a life remade.
Hold me — not for my triumph, but because
I have come back to you.

Overall impression
This is a sincere, promising vignette with strong emotional honesty. Focus on a couple of concrete images, tidy the punctuation, and tighten some lines and the piece will feel much more immediate and powerful

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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18
18
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice piece — I enjoyed the voice and Bella’s stubborn, comic sense of entitlement. Here’s a short, honest review with concrete suggestions you can use immediately.

What works

Bella’s personality is vivid and consistent. The reader quickly understands her worldview: she’s territorial, clever, petty, and convincing as a narrator (even when she’s not literally the narrator, the focus stays tight on her).

The small, domestic details (parquet foyer, sugar bowl, pearl spill, catnip binge) create a believable household world and supply good physical comedy.

The emotional through-line — Bella’s fear of being replaced and her survival instincts — is clear and relatable. That keeps the reader invested.

What could be stronger

Show don’t tell: The story sometimes tells us Bella’s feelings instead of dramatizing them. For example, rather than “Bella’s survival instincts told her Donna was the enemy,” let Bella act in a way that proves the line (a micro-scene of planning, a furtive reconnaissance, a failed ambush with sensory detail).

Point of view clarity: The piece slips between close interior access to Bella and more neutral narration. Decide: is this third-person limited with Bella’s thoughts, or an omniscient narrator? Consistent POV will sharpen voice.

Sympathetic balance: Donna is painted almost entirely as “the heathen.” Consider adding a line or two showing Donna’s vulnerability (e.g., momentary confusion, trembling), which would deepen the conflict and raise stakes.

Pacing and repetition: A few ideas repeat (mistress rescues Bella, Bella tries sabotage). Tighten by removing one or two similar incidents and replacing them with a single, stronger plot beat.

Ending: The ending currently feels open — Bella will keep scheming. If you want closure, pick a direction: come-to-terms truce, Donna’s clever counter, or a catalytic event that forces the owner to choose. Each gives a satisfying resolution.

Line-level suggestions (quick rewrites you can copy)
Original: “Bella opened one eye, training it on the clicking high heels as they tapped across the parquet foyer.”
Rewrite: “Bella cracked one eye and watched the high heels clip across the parquet foyer.”

Original: “Flabbergasted and frustrated at her owner's responses, Bella held fast and continued to plan how to oust Donna from the household.”
Rewrite: “Stunned that her human forgave every crime, Bella doubled down — scheming new ways to make Donna unforgivable.”

Original: “This must be the mother lode.”
Rewrite: “Jackpot.”

Final thoughts
You’ve got a fun, readable story with strong characterization and great comic beats. Tighten the POV, trim repeated incidents, and decide how you want the conflict to resolve.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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19
19
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
The Moment That Stays

This is a powerful, quiet piece — it grabs the chest and holds it. The poem does what good grief writing should: it makes the reader feel the weight, the suddenness, and the slow aftershock. Your imagery is direct and spare (silence that weighs, a hollow that echoes), which suits the subject. The repeated idea that the moment becomes you is wrenching and earned; the ending line — “people can disappear without ever leaving” — is a clean, devastating close.

What’s working especially well
• The tone: calm, intimate, never melodramatic. That restraint lets the emotion land harder.
• Concrete sensory details: gasping for air, chest tightening, the echo in the hollow — these ground abstract grief in the body.
• The structure: short lines and breaks mirror the halting, stunned feeling of the speaker. The repetition of “you” pulls the reader into the experience.

Suggestions to sharpen it
• Trim a couple of slightly abstract lines to keep the poem lean. For example, “Pain blooms inward. / Sharp. / Crushing. / Unrelenting.” is effective, but you might reduce one adjective to keep the rhythm taut.
• Watch small clichés — “the world keeps going” is honest, but consider reframing to a more specific image (a commuter train passing, an office light turning on) to heighten contrast.
• A few places could use tighter verbs. Instead of “you are somewhere else entirely,” try “you are elsewhere” or “you drift elsewhere” to keep the language economical.
• The line “your heart doesn’t just ache, it breaks. / Loudly, / quietly, / all at once.” is strong because of its paradox, but you could experiment with line break emphasis (put “loudly” alone on a line) to increase impact.

Small optional edits
• Consider a brief concrete scene near the middle — a specific object or moment that was happening when the moment hit. That can anchor the universality in a single, memorable detail.

Overall: this is honest and moving. With a couple of strategic trims and one small concrete detail, it will feel even more immediate. Keep writing like this — the restraint makes the heartbreak real.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of eeee  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
At first glance, your work appears playful, repetitive, and minimalistic. By choosing only a single character—the letter e—and stretching it across such an extended length, you’ve created something that reads less like traditional writing and more like experimental art. It strips away meaning in the conventional sense and instead forces the reader to focus on form, rhythm, and visual impact.

There’s actually an underlying humor in it too. The absurd length of the repeated e could be read as exaggeration, almost like a scream drawn out until it becomes comical. It also echoes a sense of persistence, testing how long an idea can be carried before it collapses into nonsense—or perhaps, before nonsense itself becomes the point.

From another angle, it could be interpreted as commentary on noise in modern communication. In a world full of messages, texts, and online chatter, sometimes everything collapses into a long, meaningless string of repetition. In that way, your piece captures both frustration and absurdity.

Of course, one limitation is that without variation or intentional breaks, the piece risks being skimmed past instead of engaged with. If the goal was to challenge attention spans, then it succeeds. But if the goal was to create emotional impact, adding subtle changes—like spacing, capitalization, or inserting one different letter in the sea of e’s—could turn it into a stronger artistic statement.

In short: your piece is bold in its simplicity, teetering between joke and experiment. It’s not traditional writing, but it does highlight how even nonsense can provoke thought when presented in excess.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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21
Review of Equine Arrival  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem, though brief, immediately grabs attention with its energetic soundscape. The opening line, “Spurring on a rhythmic murmur,” effectively sets the tone, evoking both movement and anticipation. The choice of “murmur” paired with “spurring” creates a tension between quiet and action, which is intriguing.

The second line, “Rumbling, tumbling over the earth,” builds on that energy, using strong, physical verbs that ground the imagery. The alliteration in “rumbling” and “tumbling” works well to carry the reader along with the motion of the scene. The verbs themselves conjure an almost primal sense of movement, hinting at the power of the equine presence without explicitly naming it yet.

By the third line, “Shimmering thunder tremors the air,” the poem introduces a visual layer. “Shimmering thunder” is an interesting oxymoron—thunder is usually raw and heavy, while “shimmering” suggests lightness or beauty. This contrast is striking and gives the piece a sense of grandeur, as if the arrival is both beautiful and fearsome. The phrase “tremors the air” reinforces the kinetic energy of the poem, making the reader almost feel the vibrations.

Finally, “With hammering, clamoring crescendo” leaves the poem on a powerful auditory note. The choice of “crescendo” is particularly effective, as it implies a build-up, movement, and climax. The alliteration of “hammering” and “clamoring” mirrors the earlier rhythmic patterns, giving the poem cohesion.

Overall, the poem succeeds in using sound, movement, and tension to evoke the presence of horses—or at least something wild and forceful—without directly stating it. It’s visceral and energetic, though one could experiment with slightly more concrete imagery to anchor the reader’s imagination. For a short, impressionistic piece, it’s compelling and immersive.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem has a sweeping, meditative quality that really draws the reader in. The imagery is vivid and often delicate, giving love a physical presence in the natural world—from the “blush of dawn” to “the wind’s soft hymn in the cathedral of trees.” There’s a clear rhythm in the way the poem moves from one image to another, almost like wandering through a gallery of fleeting, luminous moments. I liked how the poet balances the tender with the overwhelming: love is both “the heart splintered in grief” and “the heart ablaze with fire,” which captures the complexity of human emotion without ever feeling forced.

The poem’s structure, with its frequent short lines and stanzas, encourages a slow, reflective reading, letting each image land before moving on to the next. It leans heavily on metaphor, which gives it an ethereal, almost spiritual tone. Lines like “the golden chain of longing, the freedom of wings in flight” and “letting go like a river into the sea, and holding on like roots to the earth” are particularly effective—they’re grounded in sensory experience but carry a universal weight.

One thing to consider: because the poem is so expansive and image-heavy, some readers might feel a little overwhelmed by the sheer number of metaphors and descriptions. Trimming or combining a few could give the strongest images even more impact, allowing the poem to breathe in places.

Overall, it’s a beautiful, immersive meditation on love that moves fluidly between its gentleness, its longing, and its intensity. The ending is particularly satisfying—tying together the cosmic and the personal with the simple, declarative “We are all Love.” It leaves the reader with a sense of completeness and universality.


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23
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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
The Redemption of a Fool is a poetic and quietly powerful parable that blends the stillness of a fable with the depth of philosophical reflection. There’s no loud action or high drama here—just a hill, a fool, a poet, and a conversation that changes everything. But somehow, that’s enough. This story works because it slows you down and invites you to breathe, think, and feel.

What stands out most is how the narrative doesn't force an answer. The writing floats between thought and emotion, never rushing to explain what it means. Instead, it lets the reader arrive there on their own. That’s rare. The fool isn’t mocked or dismissed, nor is the poet treated like a prophet. They meet, speak, and share a moment that shifts something inside the fool—but not in a loud or flashy way. The change happens like dusk turning into night: quietly, inevitably.

The language itself is beautiful—lush without being overwhelming. Lines like "the sun bled gold upon the grass" or "truth wears a thousand masks" carry a rhythm that feels timeless. It almost reads like a story written in another age, where people still believed wisdom could be found in silence and stories. It hits a tone somewhere between Eastern philosophy and old European folktales, with just a touch of the spiritual.

The story’s heart is simple: transformation doesn’t come from escaping who you are. It comes from listening—to nature, to others, and to the voice inside you that often gets drowned out. Redemption here isn’t about righting past wrongs or becoming someone new. It’s about realizing who you already are, once the noise falls away.

This story won’t be for everyone. If you’re looking for plot twists or action, you’ll be disappointed. But if you want something that makes you sit with your thoughts, this is a gem. It's the kind of piece that stays with you—not because it shocks or amazes, but because it reminds you, gently, to pay attention. And maybe that’s the truest kind of redemption there is.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review of “Flight of the Hawk” by Jeannie Morgan

Jeannie Morgan’s “Flight of the Hawk” is a heartfelt and spiritual poem that reads like a prayer, a journey, and a calling all in one. In just thirteen lines, she manages to blend emotion, ancestry, and a deep reverence for nature and spirit. The title sets the tone right away—hawks are often symbols of vision, freedom, and guidance, and those themes carry through the poem with quiet strength.

From the very first line, “My soul whirls on the wind that glides,” there’s a strong sense of motion, of searching, and of being part of something greater than oneself. Morgan’s speaker is not passive—they’re traveling through realms, chasing connection, wisdom, and ultimately, grounding. There’s an interesting contrast between the soul’s flight and the “earthly shell”—as if the spirit must reunite with the body, having learned something vital while aloft.

The line “Spirit guides you've instructed me well” marks a shift from searching to reflection, showing that the speaker has learned lessons from beyond. This spiritual guidance isn’t vague—it ties directly to storytelling, memory, and the passing down of wisdom, something many indigenous and ancestral cultures hold dear.

Lines like “Visions of truth have been revealed to me / From eternal flame that burns in thee” give the poem an almost prophetic weight. There’s no doubt this is a speaker who has seen something sacred and wishes to share it.

The closing stanza feels like both a plea and a promise. “Spirit of the Earth / Grant me rebirth / And forever walk by my side” is deeply intimate. It speaks to a desire not just for personal renewal but for an ongoing relationship with the divine or natural world. That kind of connection is both healing and humbling.

Overall, this poem is gentle but powerful. You use simple, direct language to tackle big spiritual themes without ever sounding preachy. The tone is sincere and personal, as if the reader has stepped into a private moment of prayer or reflection. It’s a poem that invites rereading—not to decipher, but to sit with. To breathe in. And maybe even to feel a little closer to the earth and whatever it is that guides us.

A beautiful piece of spiritual writing.


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Review of Craving KitKat  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This piece reads like an emotional fever dream wrapped in old wounds, chemistry, and memory. It’s both sharp-edged and soft at the same time — full of longing, history, hurt, and that slippery kind of love that doesn’t fit in any traditional box. And you’ve written it with a strong, lived-in voice that makes Henry and Kit’s story feel real and heartbreaking in all the best ways.

First off, the pacing here is spot-on for what you’re trying to do. You don’t rush anything, which allows the tension and old feelings to simmer right beneath the surface. We’re dropped right into Henry’s world without much setup, but it works — that late-night knock from Kit has the weight of a thousand late-night regrets and buried desires. There's a worn familiarity between them that’s never spelled out too directly, but shown through every side glance, every pause, every loaded line.

Kit herself is electric. She’s the kind of woman who storms into a man’s life like a thunderclap and leaves just as fast — except this time, she doesn’t leave. That duality in her — the wildness and the woundedness, the strength and the fragility — is portrayed with a deep understanding. You don’t sugarcoat her trauma or pretend like love can magically fix her. Instead, you show how her damage has shaped her, and how Henry’s love, while deep, has limits because of it.

And Henry? He’s so tired, but still all in. His inner dialogue is a mix of raw need, old pain, and that stupid hope that just won’t die, even though he knows better. You get the sense he’s aged a thousand years in the years without her, but with her back, every scar he earned feels fresh again. That final understanding he comes to — that loving her may mean letting her go, or letting her stay without owning her — that’s maturity. That’s heartbreak. That’s what makes this story linger long after it ends.

There are some incredibly strong lines that just hit:

“Her turbulent sea-storm eyes... his greatest joy or his worst fear realized.”

“She comes from her own little war zone; her own personal hell…”

“He wanted to give her his world, on the condition that she share it as he defined.”

That’s real stuff. Honest and painful. You manage to show that no matter how much someone loves you, they can't undo what life has done to you — and trying to mold love into something it isn’t for the other person can become its own kind of damage.

Now, for suggestions: a few moments get a bit heavy on the introspection. Some of Henry’s thoughts could be pared down or spaced with a bit more action or dialogue. That way, we don’t get too far inside his head without coming up for air. A few more quiet, physical beats (like him watching her pour that drink, or her brushing hair out of her face while lost in thought) could ground those long stretches of emotional unpacking.

Also, you might want to watch out for repetition. The theme of “she was wild but beautiful,” “he couldn’t resist but couldn’t trust her,” “she was safety and danger” — those ideas are gold, but they’re hit more than once in slightly different ways. Tightening those moments might give them even more power.

But overall, this is emotionally rich storytelling. It’s a story about old love, not perfect love. And that’s what makes it hit so hard. It’s beautifully written, raw, real, and unforgettable. Honestly, it could live inside a short story collection, or as a pivotal scene in a longer novel.

This one sticks.


WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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