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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem is heartfelt and contemplative, blending themes of spirituality, writing, and resilience. It feels like a personal reflection on the journey of life and the solace found in faith and creative expression. The narrator speaks directly to fellow writers, creating a sense of community, and grounding the spiritual messages with lines like, “In the darkest hours of night, I write this poem to release my plight.” This line in particular resonates as it emphasizes how writing can be a form of personal release and connection.

The imagery of the bond between land and sea is intriguing—it symbolizes a mystery, something vast and intertwined yet hard to fully understand, much like the mysteries of faith and existence. The theme of God’s guidance and love as a source of stability is woven throughout, giving the poem a reassuring tone, particularly in lines like, “In the mornings, when the Sun does rise, walk with me into heaven's surprise.” These phrases invite the reader into a shared experience of peace and hope.

There are some areas where clarity could be refined to strengthen the flow. For instance, adjusting lines for smoother phrasing, such as “...walk with me into heaven’s surprise,” which could be modified slightly to enhance rhythm. However, the message is powerful and speaks to anyone who uses writing as a way to cope with life's challenges.

Overall, this poem is a gentle call to faith, creative expression, and community—a reminder that in both light and dark moments, one can find connection and hope. The sense of companionship the poet offers—"I will be here, writing deep and true"—is a comforting conclusion, leaving readers with the impression of a shared journey toward inner peace and understanding.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece dives into a heartfelt and personal reflection on the nature of God’s presence in the church and, by extension, the world. It explores an important distinction between the church as a physical structure and the church as a community of believers, all while anchoring these ideas in personal experience and faith.

The main strength here lies in the personal storytelling — especially your recounting of how you found refuge in a church during a difficult time. This story makes the essay more compelling, giving a vivid and relatable example of why people might view the church as a sanctuary beyond just the people within it. The narrative illustrates that the essence of God's presence can be felt in places where people seek solace, even if they aren't yet believers. This moment reflects a deep understanding of how, for many, the physical church is a gateway to experiencing God’s love and safety.

You also effectively highlight the idea that while the church is indeed the community of believers, the physical space can still hold symbolic and actual significance for those searching for something greater. The balance you strike, arguing that both the community and the physical church matter, feels reasonable and considerate. It respects both traditional and modern interpretations of God’s omnipresence.

One area for enhancement could be a little more exploration into why some people feel God isn’t present in empty church buildings. Is it the idea that God “moves” with people, or perhaps that spirituality has become too personal and privatized, leaving buildings feeling vacant? Adding a few lines about this would give the piece a bit more depth and show that this isn't just a disagreement over semantics but something more reflective of how society views faith and sacred spaces.

Overall, this reflection is powerful, personal, and invites readers to think more deeply about what it means to encounter God, both as individuals and within a community.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem captures a unique mix of whimsy, dark humor, and introspection. Its structure moves us through scenes in a way that feels almost cinematic, with each stanza giving a glimpse into a different dimension of the character’s experiences and attitudes. The first stanza establishes a playful yet assertive interaction, with the line, “You’re a bleeping nut…” setting a light-hearted tone with a rebellious edge. It suggests a relationship dynamic where judgments and challenges are playfully exchanged, giving us a sense of someone who’s not afraid to push back or tease.

The second stanza’s setting of “standing on the edge of doom” introduces a touch of irony with a broom in hand. This image of cleaning or tidying in a moment of impending drama or intensity adds a humorous contrast, almost like a scene from a comedy where life goes on even as things get chaotic. The line “while I trigger much buffoon” feels like a playful confession of the speaker's tendency to stir things up, intentionally or not.

The poem shifts in the third stanza to broader observations about society and congestion—both literal with “lots of cars cause indigestion” and figurative with how people impose their expectations, as in “folks who say you must be nursin’.” This reflects the speaker’s frustration with societal pressures, possibly aimed at conforming or slowing down.

Toward the end, lines like “confidence blends with trial and error” and “sensitivity is bent with terror” add depth, showing a more serious reflection on the journey of self-discovery and the insecurities that come with it. The final stanza feels like a commentary on individuality, contrasting the standardized expectations against those who “sing with pride” and display vulnerability.

Overall, the poem’s mix of humor, irony, and candid introspection works well to keep it engaging and layered with meaning. It reads like an ode to self-acceptance and resilience, showing that while life’s judgments and demands may be relentless, there’s room to navigate them with humor and self-assurance.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
The “Library People” paints a stark yet sympathetic picture of individuals often overlooked by society, those who seek refuge in the quiet and warmth of a public library. These are people shaped by hardship—scarred by poverty, addiction, and the kind of loneliness that seeps into a person’s bones. The library, in this poem, is portrayed as a bittersweet haven, one that offers comfort but only conditionally, as a sign reminds them they’re not entirely welcome: “Do not loiter.”

The poem highlights the irony of a space that’s public yet subtly exclusionary, where these men—described as having faced life’s harshest elements—come to “pass away the drifting hours” and shelter from the cold. The contrast between the outward dignity of the library's books and newspapers and the inner turmoil and disillusionment of its visitors is both powerful and poignant. For example, the image of a man feigning interest in the Wall Street Journal—a newspaper that represents wealth, success, and stability—is loaded with irony and a tinge of tragedy. It’s a “game,” one in which the man pretends to care about investments while his real “assets” are the tattered bags he carries and the companionship of other street-dwellers.

There’s a haunting nostalgia here, as the poem suggests that some of these men may have once had better lives, jobs, and status—“blue-suited and Arrow-shirted.” The question lingers: do they remember those days, or has the weight of time and hardship transformed those memories into faint, almost fictional dreams?

This piece holds a mirror to society’s often indifferent gaze and quietly suggests that we reconsider our definitions of worthiness, purpose, and the right to simply be. It’s a powerful reminder of the invisible lines society draws and how easy it is to fall outside them, with little more than the warmth of a library as refuge.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Fingertips  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
"Fingertips" captures a fleeting, almost magical moment on a lazy summer night, contrasting the routine indoor lives of the neighborhood with the subtle spark of love outside. The poem sets the scene beautifully with sensory details that make you feel the warmth, smell the beer, and even hear the mosquitoes buzzing. You can almost picture the neighbors in their private worlds, oblivious to the quiet miracle of new love blooming right outside.

The imagery is rich and relatable. It paints a picture of adults wrapped in mundane routines, slightly annoyed by mosquitoes and preoccupied with tomorrow's chores. This ordinary backdrop amplifies the significance of the "delicate shy fingers of friendship" and "love’s quickened to life," suggesting that magic can still happen in unexpected moments and places.

The structure of the poem flows naturally, almost like a whispered secret, moving from a broader perspective of the neighborhood to the intimacy of two people connecting. There's a gentle, unspoken optimism that love and connection still exist in a world often bogged down by routine and minor irritations. The use of phrases like "mellow the night" and "delicate shy fingers" adds a soft, almost nostalgic feeling, as if these moments of connection are fragile and rare.

Overall, "Fingertips" subtly reminds us to look beyond our routines and to notice the beauty and warmth of small, meaningful connections that can quietly transform an ordinary night.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece beautifully captures a journey of loss, healing, and rediscovery of companionship, told with raw emotion and a sense of hope. Here’s a review that could help bring even more resonance to your story:

Emotion and Tone: The narrative is heartfelt, and the candid recounting of Arie's last moments brings readers directly into that painful experience. This authenticity shines through and effectively conveys the depth of your bond with Arie. The transition from loss to finding Sprout (Vaidoso) offers a lovely contrast that mirrors the healing process and creates an uplifting arc.

Structure and Pacing: The passage is well-paced, giving each stage—the loss, the search, and the new beginning—ample space for reflection. Consider slightly expanding on the moment you felt drawn to Vaidoso's (Sprout’s) photo. Perhaps add a few lines that capture what specifically made him feel like "the one," as this could enhance the sense of fate or destiny in finding him.

Characterization: Even though Sprout is introduced in the latter part, his character shines through in the descriptions of his anxious nature and his endearing scruffiness. If you’d like to deepen this connection, sharing a little more about his personality quirks, such as a favorite activity or a specific habit, could bring him to life even more vibrantly.

Theme of Companionship and Healing: The final line—"Who rescued whom?"—wraps up the narrative perfectly, underscoring the theme of mutual rescue and companionship. This reflective question encourages readers to consider the powerful bond humans share with their pets and adds a layer of depth to the story's conclusion.

Language and Style: The straightforward language lends sincerity to the writing. One suggestion would be to bring in sensory details (perhaps the quiet at the vet's office, or the sound of Sprout’s paws on the floor when he first arrives) to immerse readers further into the experience.

Overall, your story captures the bittersweet journey of saying goodbye to a beloved companion and finding solace in a new friend. It’s moving and relatable, and with a few additional sensory details or reflections, it would resonate even more deeply. Thank you for sharing such a touching story.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Trusting Them  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem explores some really relatable themes about trust, loneliness, and the desire for meaningful connections. The first line’s play on “duty” and “trust” sets a reflective tone, with the “salt shaker” imagery hinting at skepticism or needing to "season" friendships with caution, which is clever and gives a hint of humor to the piece.

The stanza about the “selfless companion” brings in a lovely image of quiet support and a longing to be heard. There’s a lot of feeling packed into that section, showing someone who recognizes their own need for reassurance and kindness while also being careful about how they express it.

The third stanza dives into a more self-critical reflection, asking if there’s any real meaning to things while feeling “shallow” or “not worth spit.” This shows vulnerability, which makes the speaker’s thoughts feel raw and genuine, like they’re grappling with heavy emotions.

Finally, the last stanza leaves the reader with some hope. “Change is a-coming, and I’m raring to go” implies that despite all the doubts, there's an eagerness to embrace the future, maybe with a more trusting heart. The piece as a whole balances between cynicism and optimism and lands on a hopeful note, which makes it both relatable and uplifting. The rhyme and rhythm are consistent, too, adding a satisfying flow to the poem. Overall, it's a piece that feels honest and introspective. Great work!

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a fun, lively story that captures sibling rivalry with a humorous twist! You’ve nailed the dialogue between Joey and Martin, giving both characters distinct personalities. Joey’s stubbornness, innocence (or at least his attempt at it), and fear of Joanie add layers to his character, making him both relatable and amusing. The double-negative conversation gives Martin an edge, too—he’s clever, persistent, and clearly knows how to outwit his younger brother.

One of the best parts is how the simple act of hiding salsa spirals into a chaotic chain of events involving the whole family, including the dog and cat. That exaggeration feels just right for the story’s style, making Joey’s tiny mischief seem almost epic in consequence. It also hints at how small things, especially in sibling dynamics, can lead to unexpected results. The ending is the perfect payoff—finding the salsa hidden in Joey's sock drawer adds a silly, clever touch that makes readers laugh and rounds off the story nicely.

Overall, this story works well as a humorous piece about family and sibling dynamics. If you wanted to expand it, you could add some background on why Joanie is so feared, or maybe explore what happens when she inevitably finds out where the salsa went!

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Alexandre's journal offers a poignant glimpse into the life of a man navigating a complex web of exhaustion, routine, and the search for meaning during his "entre-Midi." The use of "L'entre-Midi" as a term for that disorienting time between noon and the late afternoon effectively encapsulates his feelings of liminality—caught between productivity and ennui. His self-reflection reveals a struggle to break free from habits that feel both confining and familiar.

The entries are raw and introspective, depicting his encounters with fatigue and creativity. The narrative captures the paradox of his life: despite the overwhelming new impressions he experiences, they leave him paralyzed, unable to write or create as he once did. The descriptions of his daily routines, such as napping between tasks and seeking refuge in cafés, paint a vivid picture of his transient lifestyle.

There’s an intriguing mix of resignation and agency in his tone. While he sometimes succumbs to the pitfalls of his situation—like spending time in a café past closing or relying on others for meals—he also displays moments of clarity and decision-making, especially when it comes to prioritizing food over medication.

The interpersonal dynamics, especially with the café worker, add a layer of subtle tension and potential connection. It hints at a desire for companionship amidst his solitary existence, creating a compelling contrast to his otherwise isolated life.

Overall, the journal reflects a deep sense of introspection and the quest for identity in a world that often feels indifferent. Alexandre's journey, marked by small victories and setbacks, invites readers to ponder the nature of survival, creativity, and human connection in challenging circumstances. The structure and progression of the entries keep the reader engaged, building a narrative that resonates with the struggles many face in their search for purpose and stability.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This story is a deep and emotional journey, showing how Siya and Aarav’s contrasting personalities and past traumas shape their connection. It is layered with themes of love, struggle, resilience, and loss, keeping readers captivated with its combination of romance and tragedy.

The setup, with Siya’s challenging family history and Aarav’s apparent arrogance masking vulnerability, is an effective way to introduce two characters with complementary, yet opposing, emotional scars. Siya’s determination to succeed and to rise above her difficult past makes her instantly relatable and admirable, while Aarav’s charisma and hidden pain add a complex depth to his character. Their initial interactions feel tense and genuine, creating realistic friction and drawing readers into their reluctant partnership.

As the story progresses, we see the two navigate conflicts, eventually building a deeper bond that transcends their initial disdain. The sting operation subplot adds suspense and reinforces Siya’s courage and Aarav’s protective side, pushing their relationship into a realm beyond professional boundaries. The intensity in scenes, like Aarav’s desperate confession when Siya is injured, brings out his vulnerability in a raw and heart-wrenching way, making this romance all the more powerful.

The climax, where Aarav’s health takes a tragic turn, is both poignant and well-executed. His decision to push Siya away to protect her is a classic, yet effective, conflict that forces Siya to confront her feelings. Her determination to stay by Aarav’s side despite everything solidifies their love as something profound and transformative. The wedding and the symbolic act of planting a tree after Aarav’s passing feel like a fitting tribute to their journey and the permanence of love beyond life.

This story ends on a bittersweet note, with Siya honoring Aarav’s memory by embracing her own path forward. The recurring imagery of the tree planted in their meeting place symbolizes their lasting connection, showing that even in loss, love can lead to personal growth and purpose. It’s a beautifully crafted narrative arc that stays with the reader, reminding us of the resilience needed to carry forward even in the face of heartbreak.


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Review of People In Prisons  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem offers a thoughtful and sensitive portrayal of the experience of writing in prison, capturing both the isolation and the solace that words can provide. The line “Writing is their way of talking, it’s the only way they know to share” highlights writing as a substitute for conversation, a powerful insight into how inmates might connect with the world and themselves. This notion of writing as a form of self-expression and connection, when physical interaction and freedom are limited, is beautifully expressed and makes the reader consider the emotional outlet that writing can be in confined spaces.

The poem’s reflections on writing as an escape, or as a way of “stepping across the boundaries that are set inside their minds,” add a layered view of how individuals can find a mental or emotional freedom that contrasts with their physical imprisonment. The shift from external isolation to the concept of “the prisons of your mind” brings depth to the idea that everyone, even those outside physical prison walls, might experience mental confinement, making the poem universally resonant.

The poem could benefit from a little tightening to strengthen its rhythm. For example, “Writing is their way of talking; it’s all they know to share” might be a smoother alternative to “it’s the only way they know to share.” Small adjustments like this could help the flow and further enhance its reflective tone.

Overall, this poem effectively captures the themes of isolation, self-expression, and connection, making the reader empathize with the transformative power of writing, especially for those who feel voiceless.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of New Year's Eve  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem captures the quiet excitement of New Year’s Eve with warmth and simplicity. The pacing is steady, much like the slow ticking of a clock leading up to midnight, which complements the theme of time passing. The imagery of friends and family gathered together, some on chairs, some on the floor, paints a cozy and welcoming scene, making the experience feel universal and relatable.

The line, “Even though it may sound frightening, there is truly nothing to fear,” addresses the subtle anxieties that come with endings and new beginnings, but it reassures readers that these moments can be joyful rather than daunting. The rhymes flow naturally, adding to the charm, though in the last line, “and we will all go on our way” could be rephrased to add a final sense of unity or forward-looking optimism. For instance, “and we’ll welcome in a brighter day” could capture the idea of hope as the new year begins.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)

Overall, this poem beautifully encapsulates the mixed emotions of New Year’s Eve, blending reflection with the anticipation of a fresh start.


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Review of White Lies  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This story has a strong emotional core, and the imagery is vivid. The opening line sets the mood perfectly with the description of the night sky and frost-kissed petals, giving a magical, yet cold and lonely atmosphere. You quickly feel for the boy, as he's an outcast with no warmth in his life, both physically and emotionally. The setting adds to this feeling of isolation, with the contrast between the boy’s cold, lonely existence and the warmth and happiness inside the aristocrats' homes.

One thing that stands out is the way you describe the boy’s struggle. His frost-bitten hands and feet, the desperate search for shelter, and even his encounter with the baker all bring to life the hardships he faces. You can feel his desperation, and the baker, despite his gruff exterior, adds a tiny glimmer of hope with the bread and scarf, even if he’s still charging the boy. It makes for a realistic touch that people can still show a hint of kindness, even in a harsh world.

The introduction of the puppy is a lovely turn. It feels like a small ray of hope or companionship for the boy, though he is wary at first. The boy's reluctance to trust, and then his eventual acceptance of the puppy, parallels his emotional journey—he’s used to being let down and mistreated, so he struggles to accept kindness, even in the form of an animal. The puppy becomes a symbol of warmth and innocence that contrasts with the cruelty he has experienced.

The ending feels bittersweet. There's a dreamlike quality to the boy waking up in a warm bed, being cared for by a mysterious woman who names him Cassius. You leave it unclear whether this is reality or a fantasy he drifted into as he succumbed to the cold. It adds a layer of melancholy but also a sense of peace. The boy's suffering seems to end, but it’s unclear if this is truly a happy ending or a sad one masked by kindness and comfort.

Some feedback:

You could tighten up the pacing a bit. At times, the story lingers too long on descriptions or internal thoughts that could be more concise. This would keep the emotional impact sharper.
The dialogue between the boy and the puppy could use some tweaking to make it feel more natural. While the boy's reluctance to trust the dog is clear, his repeated statements to "go away" could be softened to reflect a bit more conflict or emotion within him.
The woman at the end could use a little more depth. She feels somewhat one-dimensional, serving as a deus ex machina to rescue the boy, which weakens the emotional punch slightly.
Overall, you’ve created a touching narrative that explores themes of loneliness, survival, and kindness. With a little more refinement, especially in pacing and dialogue, it can become even stronger.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
"Mission to Sirus Goes Awry" has a quirky, almost surreal quality to it. The way it mixes familiar elements—like giant ducks—with the futuristic concept of interplanetary travel gives it an unexpected charm. The short, fragmented sentences give off a sense of urgency and unease, which works well for the atmosphere of the story.

However, there are a few areas that could use some refining. The story could benefit from a little more world-building, especially since it's dealing with such a fascinating premise: wormhole technology and a mission to Sirius. You hint at these big ideas, but they’re touched on so briefly that it feels like we don't get enough time to really absorb the stakes or the setting.

The introduction of the native inhabitants, "giant ducks," adds a playful, almost whimsical tone. It's an unusual choice that catches the reader off guard, but it feels underdeveloped. What makes the ducks intelligent and unfriendly? Why are they hostile? Diving deeper into their behavior or culture would make the conflict more engaging. The line about the "ducklings on the roof" adds an odd, almost humorous visual, but the fact that it leads to Sam Jones' death could be drawn out more for tension.

Sam's death is mentioned so quickly that it loses some emotional impact. As the first casualty of the first interplanetary war, there could be more weight given to this moment. Maybe describe Sam's feelings in his final moments, or show the chaos as the mission unravels.

Overall, it’s a fun and quirky concept with potential. Developing the ducks more, adding tension, and giving Sam's fate more emotional depth could turn this into a solid sci-fi story with a unique edge.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece, Early Spring in Sapulpa, is a charming and whimsical dialogue that evokes a playful interaction between nature and human-like characters—maybe even bees, given their references to hives and honey. The tone is light and conversational, almost like an overheard chat between friends with distinct personalities. The dialogue structure works really well here, giving the reader a chance to fill in the blanks and imagine the scene through what isn't said as much as what is.

What makes it fun is how the writing blurs the line between humans and nature. There's a playful sense of community among flowers, bees, and humans, with lines like "We don’t eat grass" and "You steal our honey." It feels like we’re peeking into an animated world where plants and insects talk back. It taps into a childlike curiosity and appreciation for nature, where even the smallest details like dandelions and purple henbit feel meaningful.

The ending is sweet, literally and figuratively, with the bees’ desire to follow and their plea—"Pleazzz"—offering a bit of wordplay. It's clever, gentle, and just enough to make you smile. The story’s simplicity is its strength, as it doesn’t try too hard to be profound or complicated. Instead, it stays true to the moment, focusing on the early signs of spring and the delightful quirks of its characters.

If there's room for improvement, it might be to deepen the interaction a bit more, perhaps showing a bit of tension or conflict, even if subtle. The dialogue hints at something with lines like "The hive remembers" and "Be careful," but it doesn’t fully explore those undercurrents. Overall, though, it's a light and pleasant read that brings a slice of spring to life in a delightful way.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Irish Folk Song  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem, "Irish Folk Song," captures a sense of longing and nostalgia, evoking themes that are common in traditional Irish music. The repetition of simple, yet emotionally charged phrases, like "Where have you gone" and "To find me again," reinforces a deep sense of yearning, which aligns well with the melancholy yet romantic nature of Irish folk songs.

The structure flows smoothly, with alternating short lines that create a lyrical quality, almost like the poem itself could be sung. The lines "I hear the music / You bring forth / Whispered to me / Of love and loss" particularly stand out. They paint a vivid picture of how music and memories are intertwined, especially in the context of Irish culture, where folk songs often tell stories of both personal and collective history.

The closing lines, "So sing it now / Pull me near / And whisper to me / An Irish folk song," beautifully encapsulate the desire to be reunited and comforted by the familiar—a sentiment that’s very touching. This creates an emotional connection with the reader or listener, enhancing the poem's heartfelt tone.

Overall, it’s a simple but evocative piece that successfully captures the spirit of an Irish folk song, combining love, memory, and music. If you wanted to expand or develop it further, perhaps adding more concrete imagery related to the Irish landscape or culture could make the connection even stronger. However, the simplicity here is also part of its charm.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
"Beware of the Wolf" by Serena Collins is a short allegorical piece with a clear moral message. The story uses simple yet vivid imagery to contrast the innocent and peaceful nature of the sheep with the dark and malicious wolves, who represent danger and deception. The metaphor of wolves disguising themselves as sheep is a classic one, often used to symbolize people who appear harmless but have harmful intentions.

The language Collins uses, particularly the descriptions of the wolves’ delight in spreading fear, effectively paints them as menacing figures. Lines like “What a pleasure it is to make blood curdle” and “What a joy it is to make hair stiffen!” are dark and chilling, adding intensity to the wolves’ sinister nature. This personification of evil contrasts well with the "civil lambs" who embody innocence and goodness. The thematic idea of light vs. darkness is heavily present, with the wolves connected to "blackened hearts" and the reader being urged to follow the "King of Light."

The story's message is clear: beware of deceptive appearances and stay on the path of righteousness. It's a common moral, but the strong imagery and the almost poetic repetition give the piece a unique voice. One thing that stands out is the pacing—Collins doesn't waste time in getting the message across, and the piece ends on a decisive note, urging the reader to be vigilant.

Overall, this short piece is effective in delivering its cautionary theme, and the writing style is engaging, making it easy to grasp while still having an impact. It could benefit from a bit more depth or complexity in the characters or narrative, but as a straightforward moral allegory, it succeeds.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece has a very calm and reflective tone, with a clear focus on the simplicity of everyday life. The detailed descriptions of mundane tasks like boiling water capture a sort of quiet mindfulness, making the ordinary feel significant. The imagery of the "homely kitchen" and "speckled white Formica" creates a cozy, familiar setting, which draws the reader into the environment.

Your choice of language, like "sedately aware" and "primarily static molecules," adds a scientific touch to what is otherwise a routine activity. This gives the writing a unique flavor, mixing both casual and more technical language. The use of onomatopoeia, like the "shrieking, high-pitched whistle," adds auditory depth to the scene.

On the other hand, while the level of detail is great for immersion, it may feel a bit long-winded in parts, such as the extended description of boiling water. You might want to balance these slow, reflective moments with more variation in sentence structure or pacing to maintain engagement.

The final lines suggest a sense of purpose, that all this careful preparation will soon result in something comforting or enjoyable, like "invigorating beverages and soups." This subtle payoff gives the scene more meaning, beyond just boiling water. Overall, it's a thoughtful, slow-paced snapshot of a small, everyday ritual, with a tone that feels both introspective and grounded.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Ice Age  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This story has a clever and surprising twist that really stands out. It begins with a light, humorous exchange between a married couple, then takes an unexpected dark turn that shifts the tone entirely. Here are some strengths and suggestions for improvement:

Strengths:
Character Interaction: The dialogue between Henry and his spouse feels natural and playful. Their banter makes them relatable and easy to connect with, drawing readers into their relationship dynamic.

Humor: Henry’s exaggerated complaints about the cold and the idea of wrapping his feet in newspaper or starting a fire are funny. These lighthearted moments make the darker twist that follows more jarring, which works well in creating contrast.

Twist Ending: The line "the sun was broken" is chilling and foreshadows the shocking reveal that the world is in an ice age. The fact that Henry dies, followed by the realization of the larger catastrophe, adds depth to what initially seems like a simple domestic scene.

Suggestions for Improvement:
Transition to the Ice Age: The jump from Henry's death to the ice age could be smoother. It feels abrupt, which can work in some cases, but here it leaves some unanswered questions. How did the world fall into an ice age? How did Henry’s death connect to the larger disaster? Some more hints before Henry dies could help prepare the reader for the twist.

Character’s Reaction to Henry’s Death: The narrator’s emotional response to Henry’s death feels underdeveloped. Since the story focuses on their interaction, it would add depth to explore the narrator's grief or shock in more detail, which would enhance the emotional weight of the twist.

Expanding the Ice Age Concept: The concept of an ice age gripping the world is intriguing, but it comes in very late. Expanding on how the narrator has survived and copes with this new reality, perhaps through small details woven into earlier parts of the story, could make the world-building stronger.

Final Thoughts:
This story has a lot of potential, especially with its unexpected twist. Balancing the humor and the darker elements a bit more and adding some emotional depth could elevate the narrative. Overall, it’s an engaging piece with a memorable ending that leaves readers wanting to know more about this icy, post-apocalyptic world.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This short piece has a warm, heartfelt vibe, blending the mundane with a more profound reflection on compassion. You successfully use Lara’s Friday night routine—cozy pajamas, chocolate, wine—as a familiar and relatable starting point that makes the emotional shift more impactful.

The emotional pivot happens naturally when Lara becomes transfixed by Comic Relief, allowing the reader to feel her helplessness and sorrow. The use of a well-known event, like Comic Relief, lends the story some weight, grounding it in reality while emphasizing how ordinary people like Lara can feel affected by global issues.

Paul’s introduction adds a twist to the narrative. His surprise scratchcard win brings a temporary sense of relief, and it’s easy to feel Lara's excitement when she leaps up to hug him. But the decision to donate the winnings is what really sets the story apart, transforming it into something more meaningful. Paul's generosity gives a deeper emotional punch, revealing their values and reinforcing the central theme: the importance of empathy over material gain.

A few small tweaks could strengthen the flow. For example, the dialogue tags ("Paul said," "Lara sobbed") could be streamlined or dropped in places where the tone is already clear from the context. The line “We’re donating it. They need the money more than we do!” could also feel more natural if rephrased to match Paul’s earlier casual speech.

Overall, the story does a great job of capturing a moment of personal and emotional growth. It uses an everyday situation to explore deeper moral questions, showing that even small, personal acts of generosity can make a difference.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Butter  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This story has a really playful, humorous tone that makes for an enjoyable read. It blends tension and absurdity in a way that keeps you intrigued, especially with the ongoing mystery of what's behind the door and the strange behavior of the neighbors. The transition from a serious, almost horror-like setup (with the doorknob turning and the creaking door) to comedic moments like the sheep carrying a human hand and the butter-churning kids is handled well. The randomness of the events gives the story a quirky, surreal charm.

One strength of the story is its conversational, almost rambling narrative style. The narrator’s tangents about the German shepherds or the kids’ traps add personality and humor. It feels like someone is sitting down to tell you a long-winded but entertaining tale, which makes the strange events seem even more bizarre and fun. This style also helps build a relatable, down-to-earth voice for the main character.

That said, the story can feel a little long-winded at times, particularly when it goes off on tangents. Some readers might find it difficult to stay fully engaged during moments when the story drifts away from the main plot. The repetitive structure of "so there I was" or looping back to earlier moments adds humor but could benefit from a bit of tightening to keep the pacing sharper.

The climax, where the narrator discovers the true purpose of the butter and the party surprise, offers a great twist. It ties together the absurdity in a sweet, wholesome way, with the fishing pole moment acting as a funny misdirection before the surprise reveal. It's a satisfying payoff after all the suspense and bizarre buildup.

Overall, the story works well because it balances tension and humor effectively, though tightening some sections could make it even stronger. The quirky characters and unpredictable events give it a memorable, unique vibe.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Deep connections  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece does a beautiful job of exploring deep emotional struggles and the longing for connection. The central character, Sydney, is clearly battling inner turmoil, and the dialogue with the therapist feels both personal and poignant. Here's my review:

Strengths:
Realistic Dialogue: The conversation between Sydney and Theresa flows naturally. It doesn’t feel forced, and it manages to tackle complex emotions without coming across as too rehearsed. Theresa’s response to Sydney’s pain feels like a genuine attempt to empathize and guide rather than just provide textbook answers.

Emotional Depth: Sydney’s recounting of her painful experiences in high school and beyond is heart-wrenching. The vividness with which Sydney describes her feelings of loneliness and betrayal makes it easy for readers to empathize. The metaphor of being in a shrinking room powerfully encapsulates the suffocating nature of isolation and mental health struggles.

Therapist's Compassion: Theresa comes across as a compassionate and insightful therapist. Her responses feel supportive, but she also doesn’t try to "fix" Sydney immediately, acknowledging the complexity of human emotions and relationships.

Themes of Belonging and Isolation: The story does an excellent job tackling the universal human need for belonging, addressing how rejection and loneliness can deeply scar someone. It also hints at how personal growth often comes from painful experiences.

Character Growth: By the end, there’s a sense that Sydney is starting to heal or, at the very least, processing her emotions in a healthier way. The tears that come at the end suggest catharsis, which is a crucial moment for her character development.

Areas for Improvement:
Pacing: There are moments where the pacing could be slowed down a little more, particularly when Sydney is recounting her past. Some added details or reflections during those memories could enhance the emotional weight.

Therapist's Speech: While Theresa’s words are impactful, they sometimes verge on being a bit "preachy" or overly philosophical. Real conversations in therapy tend to be more gradual, so some of her advice could be broken down into smaller, more digestible pieces. This would make it feel more natural and less like a prepared speech.

Sydney's Internal Monologue: There could be a bit more introspection from Sydney. She seems to open up to the therapist rather quickly, given her past struggles with trust and isolation. Expanding on her internal thought process during the conversation would add another layer of depth.

Ending: The offer to have lunch is a nice, calming way to end the session, but it feels a bit abrupt. A few more moments of reflection or an indication of what Sydney might be thinking as they leave the room would give the ending more closure.

Overall Impression:
The narrative captures a delicate and deeply emotional moment in Sydney’s life. The story’s strengths lie in its ability to connect with readers on a personal level, exploring universal feelings of loneliness, rejection, and the desire for human connection. It’s a raw and relatable portrayal of how painful experiences can shape one’s life, but also how seeking help can begin to heal those wounds. A little more depth in pacing and Sydney's inner reflections could elevate it further, but as it stands, it’s an emotionally charged and introspective piece that many readers will resonate with.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of The Last Night  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
"The Last Night" is a touching and emotional story that beautifully explores themes of family, memory, and letting go. The way you’ve written the interaction between Jenna, her mother, and her grandmother adds depth to the emotional weight of the scene, making it very relatable.

One of the strongest elements is the conversation between Jenna and her grandmother. The blend of reality and imagination creates a tender connection, especially when the grandmother insists Jenna has been telling her stories in her sleep. The dialogue feels natural, and it flows well, showing the bond they share and the love in their relationship. It's heartwarming how Jenna steps into her grandmother’s world, continuing the story in a way that comforts her, which feels both imaginative and compassionate.

The story’s subtlety adds to its beauty. You don’t over-explain things; instead, you let the dialogue convey the underlying emotions. The gradual realization that this story is not just a bedtime fantasy, but a way for Jenna’s grandmother to find peace in her final moments, is very powerful. The imagery of the Enchanted Forest and Grampie waiting in the afterlife adds a bittersweet, magical element to the story without feeling forced.

However, there are a couple of small points you could tweak for more impact. When Jenna tells her grandmother about Addie, the queen of the Enchanted Forest, it feels like an important moment, but the pacing here could be slightly slowed down to give it more weight. You could add a bit more description or inner thoughts from Jenna to highlight what she’s feeling as she comforts her grandmother.

Also, when Jenna’s mother leaves the room crying, the transition back to the dialogue between Jenna and her grandmother is a little quick. You might want to pause in that moment a bit longer, maybe adding a sentence or two about Jenna’s internal reaction to her mother’s grief before she speaks again.

Overall, "The Last Night" is a heartwarming, bittersweet story that touches on the pain of losing a loved one while offering comfort and closure. With a bit more emphasis on the emotional beats, this piece could resonate even more deeply with readers. It's a lovely piece with a strong emotional core.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece sets up an intriguing world with a sense of mystery and adventure. I like how you create a vivid contrast between the large, innovative city of Corcon and the quiet, isolated station at the foot of the mountains. The description of the snowflakes and the distant city adds a nice atmosphere, and you introduce the west as a place of hidden significance with the mention of Erobringen, which is a great hook.

The young man in the story feels like an interesting character, although there’s room to develop him more. Right now, we know he's heading to Erobringen and isn’t fazed by the idea of going somewhere uncommon, but it would be helpful to give the reader a bit more insight into his personality. For example, why is he so indifferent to the stories of revolution in the newspaper? Is he detached from society, or is there something specific on his mind? Adding a bit of internal dialogue or a hint of his motivation would help us connect more with him.

The interaction with the old man is a nice touch, giving the journey a slightly ominous feel with the question, "You do know where this train goes, lad?" It builds suspense and makes the reader wonder why this trip to Erobringen is so important or unique. However, I'd suggest building up that moment even more by giving the old man a bit more character. Maybe he says something cryptic or gives the young man a long look, something to add to the feeling that this isn't just a normal journey.

The ending, where the man falls asleep as the train heads toward the mountains, sets up the next stage of the journey well. The transition from waking life to sleep feels symbolic, perhaps foreshadowing that the journey west will be like stepping into another world.

Overall, this story does a good job of introducing a mysterious setting, but giving the characters more depth would make it even stronger. Let us feel more of the young man’s emotions and motivations as he heads into the unknown. That will make readers more invested in what happens next.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Our Legacy  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem offers a dark reflection on human greed, avarice, and the destruction of nature. There's a heavy theme of environmental degradation, particularly focused on oil spills and the harm done to the planet. The imagery of "crude-covered hands" and "oil slicks 500 miles long" conveys a powerful visual of the damage caused by greed and industry.

The rhyme scheme adds a flow to the poem, but it’s not too rigid, which gives it a natural, almost conversational feel while still maintaining a lyrical quality. The repetition of certain themes—like "avarice" and "greed"—builds a sense of inevitability, as though these cycles of destruction are ongoing and difficult to stop.

I think "crystal parchment" as an opening image is a great choice because it implies something fragile and precious, like the earth or its resources. It's juxtaposed nicely with the crude, violent actions later described. The biblical reference to "paradise God lent" suggests a moral responsibility that humanity has failed to uphold, which adds a spiritual layer to the critique of environmental damage.

One possible area for improvement might be to explore more unique metaphors or imagery for "greed" and "avarice," as they are fairly common terms in environmental commentary. You’ve done well with the oil imagery, but finding new ways to express the destructive forces at play could elevate the poem even more. Overall, it’s a strong, thought-provoking piece that feels relevant and emotionally charged.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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