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3,537 Public Reviews Given
4,150 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I tend to review using a format that I can comment on plot, characters, setting, atmosphere and dialogue. I also try to point out typos/errors and that sort of thing. This style may change depending on the item!
I'm good at...
I'm better with fiction than anything else. I might be able to have a go at poetry but please don't expect too much!
Favorite Genres
Horror, dark, suspense, thriller, mystery. However, I'm open minded and will read most genres.
Favorite Item Types
Statics - fiction.
Public Reviews
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Review of Pro-Gay Rights  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: The title really drew me in. It's a subject I'm really interested in and so wanted to read your opinion on the subject. I would suggest maybe adding something to the description so the reader knows what it is they're going to read; a discussion about the rights of gay people.

*Checkg*What I liked:

I think you've made a good argument in this article. I don't live in the USA but the UK and even over here there is still a lot of discrimination against gay people. Though in the past few years we have developed such things as Pride which is a celebration of the gay, lesbian, bi and transexual community. I have to agree with you here that it shouldn't matter who a person falls in love with, if it's right for them then that's what matters.

I wasn't aware of the alarming rates of suicide associated with such bullying incidents though so thank you for making me aware of that.


*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

         *BulletG*argued that if they leaved the constitution unchanged

this should be 'left'

argued that if they left the constitution unchanged

         *BulletB*Unless the Constitution and the Bill of Rights weren't signed

this should be 'wasn't'

Unless the Constitution and the Bill of Rights wasn't signed


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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777
Review of Midnight Angel  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: The title and description are great; for me they spoke of something a bit dark, something evil that comes. That really intrigued me and made me want to read on!

*People*Characters: The main protagonist of this poem comes across as a reallly strong character. He (or she) comes across of being scared of the Midnight Angel that comes, however, not scared enough to run. He is determined to stay put and will not go no matter how much that distresses him. I think that makes him a strong willed character and that comes across well.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: You set the tone well throughout; it feels really dark and creepy. We know that there is a Midnight Angel so ironically named that comes and wants to take him away. You create this dark menace who is forthcoming but vague; we know a bit about what it looks like but not much else and I feel like the creature takes the setting of the piece as well because that is what we see most of. But I think that really works for this piece.


*Checkg*What I liked:

I really liked the near repetition of the first stanza to the last- I think it works really well and just brings it home, reminds the reader that the creature is still out there and waiting to get in. The poem flows nicely and I think doing it in free style has allowed the creativity to flow on this one.


*Cut**Paste*A suggestion I had:


         *BulletG*I think the only thought I had was around punctuation; perhaps it would help in some of hte stanzas, particularly those with longer lines, just to allow breating time.



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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778
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

Well done on a really gory zombie story! You opened it well and it seemed quite different to me than others. I think often when reading a zombie story you find yourself hurtled into the middle of the action but here in the prologue, you give a brief encounter of what happened and how it happened. You showed it from the small problem it was, growing into the huge problem Al and Ed found themselves in.

I really liked the line:

That is until you saw someone you recognized, the empty shell of an old friend, a neighbor, or worse: a relative.

I think it captures both the physical zombie physique but also the emotional one, the fact that those people are friends.

I think you wrote the first chapter well too. You have gone to a lot of trouble to use a great amount of detail in the scene in which we see them barricaded in the house and the zombies breaking in slowly but surely and the people within the house turn into one of the undead. You use a lot of gore within this scene which I think works well; after all, you can't have zombies killing people without sheer brutality and blood!

The ending worked well and I'm glad they were saved, although it was a little cliche that Ed's best friend turned up just in the nick of time. But I think it still works and it lets the heros flee so they can fight another day, hopefully!


*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:


         *BulletG*became increasingly more steady - I don't think you need the word 'more' here because the word increasingly already suggests it is getting steadier


I would also maybe suggest using line spacing between your paragraphs to make it a little easier for your readers.


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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779
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

Well done on being able to offer this insight into your life and what it's like for you to have bipolar. I think you've touched on some really good and powerful subject in this. One of which is about medication; they are fine from person to person but each person needs something different and it affects people in different ways. And you're very right in what you say that the side effects can affect things such as your weight and your confidence, and why would you have to live like that. So you made a valid point about bringing that up with the doctor.

The second point I picked up on was about taking care of yourself; trying to realise when you see a symptom that could mean a mood change. And though you might not necessarily be able to control it, at least it's a warning.

You seem to cope really well with having bipolar; you talk about it as just being part of life and I think that's a great way to look at it. It can't be helped and it's there so you deal with it in the best way you can and I commend you for that.

You've written this piece well, it flows nicely and points out some powerful facts to the reader which I think is important. Thank you for sharing this with us.



*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

         *BulletG*Lithium requires that patient's blood levels be monitered - think this should be 'monitored'

         *BulletB*One episode weight was falling off me like water in the rain.

I like this sentence but I think it needs to either start a little differently or have a comma after the word episode i.e.:

One episode I had, weight was falling off me like water in the rain.

         *BulletR*take a week too 14 days before - this should be 'to'

         *BulletV*I went to the kitchen and started eating eating healthy food - here you just need to delete the repeated word


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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Review of Ice cream night  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

Aw this sounds like a really lovely night! Are you from the USA? We don't have nice things like drive thru ice cream places hehe. I think you've really captured the reality of family life, the fighting and bickering as well as the love and laughter *Smile*

Well done!

*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

         *BulletG*but at time I wonder why I did not drowned them

Just a couple of little things here:

but at times I wonder why I did not drown them

         *BulletB*After everyone piled out of the car the hobby announced - this should be 'hubby'


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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781
781
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

I can totally hear the song rolling around in my head...... argh! lol.



Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

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782
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This is a very valid question to ask! I think every author struggles at some point with that writers block, it's natural. At the minute I'm managing to press foward, I have a lot of ideas swirling around my brain and just not enough time to get them out! hehe. Who knows if I'll get published, I'm just happy writing!

How about you?


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

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#1855489 by Not Available.
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783
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This seems like the start to a good story and I wonder where it's going to go! I'm assuming you haven't finished because he's being operated on but is awake inside his mind, which is an interesting concept.

I think you deal with the beginning well but you tell the reader what is happening rather than show. To show the reader you need to use more description, involve their senses. So help the reader see what the scene looked like, was there blood? Were there people standing around? What was the day like? What did it smell like? Hope that makes sense!


*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

         *BulletG*I noticed in a couple of places that you've switched from past to present tense. I always find it makes it easier for the reader to follow if you stick to one. So here you've written:

it was horrifying to witness. He is quickly rushed to the hospital

This line shows us being in the past tense as we witness he crash then all of a sudden, in the present as he's rushing to hospital. I would write:

it was horrifying to witness. He was quickly rushed to the hospital

         *BulletB*When the doctor is speaking I would put it into a new paragraph; that's what most fiction tends to do because it makes it a little easier to read and follow.


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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784
Review of Fragility  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

I think you've tackled a really emotional subject here and done it well. The title and description drew me in so well done for hooking me from the beginning!

You start the piece with a few very strong words that made me want to read on: 'I was once told that men are strong'

I think it drew me in for a few reasons, one of them being that it's so true. We are taught from such a young age that men are strong and women weak, men are the protectors. And then, if that fails, what then?

You take the reader through the story, watch his desperation as he clinngs to life and tears himself back up. Watches him blossom, fall in love, have a son. Then we see that evil temptation come back in, an unwelcome distraction in his happy life. But like most temptations, he sucumbs to it and we see his life falling back into the darkness.

I think you've done really well to make the reader empathetic with the character. He has an alcohol addiction and rather than blaming him and showing him in a bad light, you help the reader see how hard it was for him. I think that's really good and probably quite difficult to do because often people with such addictions are painted as a monster. This man isn't a monster, only lost.

The ending of the story made me sad, made me wonder if he'd ever pull himself back up again. Well done for creating such an evoking piece *Smile*


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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785
785
Review of Writing.com  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hey!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This is a fun little piece! It made me giggle when my answers came out (it's been a while since I've done a madlib!) But maybe you might want to think about adding a bit of length to it. Think about what else WdC means to you and how you can show that *Smile*


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

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Review of Harry Potter  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hey!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

It's been a while since I did a crossword (on paper or otherwise) and this one was really fun, even if I didn't manage to complete all the answers. Well done!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

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787
787
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This is a fun little piece and certainly really ironic! For an instructor in accident to prevention to be prone to accidents (and in front of the students he is teaching!) It made me giggle!

It did make me wonder if there was something to do with the room that caused the accidents or whether actually, people who take such classes do so because they're good at it *Wink* I wonder if this sort of course actually exists... hehe


*NoteR*A suggestion I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*


         *BulletG*I can expect to walk into this class room everyday trip over the door stop

I think the word 'and' needs to be added in here.

I can expect to walk into this class room everyday and trip over the door stop


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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788
788
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

I think the age old 'let it go' or 'get over it' really gets to me. If something is affecting you that much then you're not going to be able to let it go (and it wouldn't be healthy to do so) so what makes that person think it's that simple! Not very supportive at all!

So yes, I suppose that's my most irritating saying. I wouldn't use it and say it to other people either. What is your choice?

Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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789
789
Review of Christmas Gifts  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This is a really creepy piece. You started it out with the fearful shouts of a woman experiencing domestic violence at the hands of her husband while her son can do nothing but listen. I think you did this realistcally and I really felt like it was happening and that the woman was terrified and in pain. So well done for grasping that. I think it got quite graphic when she was screaming and he was shouting at her but I think it works because it didn't go on for too long.

You show the reader the sadistic man the father is and the controlling relationship he has with his son and his wife. We seen him controlling the son, telling him to sit and eat, that his mother deseved what she got.

Then the twist... the women under the tree.That was something I did not expect at all. I think you really got me with that and I really realised the depravity the man was capable of. I think you've created a truly horrific and grotesque character in the husband; someone I feel I can truly say that I hate. So well done for being to evoke such an emotion in me; I don't think I've so strongly hated someone in fiction before!

The story seems to end a little before it's time; although you conclude it well, it leaves me wondering what happens to the women? What happens to the boy? Is the wife dead?

Anyway, that's just a few thought!

Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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790
790
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This is such a great idea for an auction, I have to say! What better way to encourage people to gift to a really great group than by offering fantastic gifts in return *Smile*

The auction is set out well, you've made it clear and concise as well as fun which is great!

Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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791
791
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

Hey! Well done on an interesting poll. I've often wondered where other people are from, who I'm making friends with, what time different people are on! And it's great to find out where some of the members of WdC come from *Smile* I'm from the rainy UK and I see Europe is second top to North America but by quite a bit shorter. I wonder if everyone voted how the poll would work out...

Well done though, great idea!

Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*


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Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently! *Smile*


*NoteR*What I liked:

Ooooh good question! I think that while I answered that I review all colours (because I do) I know when I first started using the site I felt a bit strange about doing so; and I guess it was because I knew they'd been on the site for a long time and I assumed that meant they were better at writing than me so I was scared to. Sometimes, if I'm having a bad day, I still get that feeling and won't! But otherwise I try, everyone wants reviews for their work and it's important not to discriminate *Smile*

How about you? (before you became a mod!)


Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*


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793
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently! *Smile*


*NoteR*What I liked:

I like that most of the answers are from some weird turn of events! *Smile*

hehe, I met my partner when I worked at a local bar... I worked most weekend nights and a man used to always come in, get drunk and talk to me. He started telling me about his son who 'I would love' and then one night brought him in. Turns out, I did! *Smile*

Do you have a story to share?


Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*


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794
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently! *Smile*


*NoteR*What I liked:

Well done on creating such an interesting poll. I did my dissertation looking at social stigma attached to depression and anxiety in young people; but I found that there wasn't as much stigma as I'd predicted (from other young people)

I don't think I know anyone with bipolar but as far as I know, as long as it's controlled by medication that person can have a normal life? Please correct me if I'm wrong, I don't mean to be ignorant!!

What do you deduce so far from the results?



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*


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795
Review of The Detective  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently! *Smile*


*NoteR*What I liked:

This was a really well written piece. I always tend to love that film noir sort of detective and I've never seen it in a poem before. But I think you've captured the atmosphere and style really well. I can really picture the scene, the woman crying over her loved one who was unmercifully taken, the detective in his suit and hat, commanding his men to search.

I really liked the lines:

'peering into places where midnight slumbers.'

and

'My tools feel awkward,
clumsy in my mind.'

They work really well and paint the picture.

The stanzas work well together and flow nicely in the free structure *Smile*

I don't have any suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*


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796
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently! *Smile*


*NoteR*What I liked:

Well done on a really emotional piece. I really feel you've been able to express yourself freely and show the emotions you're feeling to the reader. I'm getting that you're confused and a bit conflicted as to the resolution of this; there are only two ways, one which will bottle your feelings up for longer and one that makes you vulnerable and so is the hardest to do. I'm not going to offer advice, all I can say is I think you should follow your heart *Smile*

This poem is well written and put together; it flows nicely and has a good free structure. The subject of the poem comes across really well and your emotions within that.

I didn't have any suggestions to make to this piece *Smile*


Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*


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797
797
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This is a fun idea for an interactive! It starts with a genie hiding up in teh attic, which turns out to be his worst nightmare, or will it?! I think having a gift/curse that everything he says becomes literal is quite fun because we use similies and metaphors so often within speech and literature that it's really creative to think about how it would actually occur! Well done!

Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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798
798
Review of Royal Duties  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

I think you've created something really intereesting here; a girl is told how to act and behave to fit her social role, but she doesn't want any part of it and seeks company in the stable boy (who is madly in love with her!) What a creative idea!

*NoteR*A suggestion I had:


         *BulletG*I think the only suggestion I have is that when you're doing your options at the end of the chapter, maybe give options rather than just using 'continue' it will act as a prompt and a lead in the direction of a story. Just a thought!


Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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799
799
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

I think you've created a really good idea here! The age old fairytale of Peter Pan is a classic and this has allowed the readers/authors to think about what Peter Pan was, what it meant to them and contribute to that legend with the same characters. It allows us to be as creative as we want which is great!

*NoteR*A suggestion I had:


         *BulletG*I think the only thing that confused me a little was your character list... so far we know Maisie is the main character but those other few just behind her on the list, do they need to be included in the story too? I think you should try to make that a little clearer.

Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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800
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! I found you on the Power Shop Review Board! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This was a really good piece that I enjoyed reading! I wasn't sure what to expect uopn reading the title but it wasn't this; however, I think that you've captured the abstract nature of the man within this piece and the significance of that little stress ball well.

You've written this well from beginning to end, taking the reader on the journey with the protagonist.

I think you have developed his character really well. You let the reader see some background, his personality and how he has grown up to want to reach his goal. And we know that he's a hard worker because he's relentless in his research and plods on regardless.

I think you've really captured his voice here, I think this is exactly as he would sound, the language he would use. In places I almost felt it had a journalistic quality which I think is great.

You also managed to show his paranoia growing throughout the story, the way he did thigns in secret and didn't reveal his plans to anyone for fear that he would be disregarded. The conspiracy theory of the name of the corporation... or was it just theory?

I think that's the one thing I wasn't clear on; whether his paranoia was founded or not. I got the impression that the stress and pressure of his work was causing the paranoia. I hope that's what you were trying to do!


Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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