blue jellybaby's (joanne4eva) Reviews

Review Requests: OFF

3,537 Public Reviews Given

4,150 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

I tend to review using a format that I can comment on plot, characters, setting, atmosphere and dialogue. I also try to point out typos/errors and that sort of thing. This style may change depending on the item!

I'm good at...

I'm better with fiction than anything else. I might be able to have a go at poetry but please don't expect too much!

Favorite Genres

Horror, dark, suspense, thriller, mystery. However, I'm open minded and will read most genres.

Favorite Item Types

Statics - fiction.

826

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#3676582

Review of Earth: Lost

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hey!

This is a Power Review! I came to return the lovely, positive review you did for me!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

Well done on a really unique story. I really enjoyed reading this from the beginning; it's really accessible and the format of the journal worked really well. You were able to freely tell the story from the point of view of the Captain, logging only the important bits of information.

You develop the characters well throughout, letting the reader come to know about their personalities and motivations before losing several of them. I have to say I was sad; those people were in a tricky situation and they did the best they could, I can only imagine how it would have felt to lose your sanity like that.

The ending was really good too, it's a good moral tale and one that we should know about and take note of in society today. So well done for being able to bring that in!

A few suggestions I had:

It has been completely deserted also. - I would say you don't need the word 'also' at the end of this piece.

He said there was nothing to live for anymore, that we have lost everything. - I would say here, change the word 'have' for 'had' to keep it within the past tense.

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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by Maryann

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#3676506

Review of Bring back my love

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

This was a really well written and emotional poem. I don't often read poetry but I'm glad I read this. It tells of a woman who lost her husband to death; he is unable to change that yet a miracle occurs and her husband is brought back by an angel.

I really feel like the emotions of the tortured woman comes through clearly, a powerful line through the piece. The poem works well and the free style allows the reader to see the true emotions of the woman.

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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by Maryann

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#3676016

Review of Fictional Character Resources

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

I don't often read non-fiction because it reminds me of school (hehe) but I really am glad that I decided to open this piece and read it. I found it to be really helpful and informative, a lot of information for the aspiring novel series writer. Yet it did not overload me, there seemed to be just enough.

I noticed a few things I've heard of before, such as having an overarching plot with smaller conflicts and subplots within each book. I did film studies at Uni and we studied TV series and it was a similar concept, something for viewers to be hooked on with each episode but an overarching plot line. I love watching TV series'!

I also think it's great that you've added extra links at the bottom of this piece, I think it makes it accessible and helpful for the reader and I'll definately be taking a look!

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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829

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#3675822

Review of Little Agnes Fleck

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

This was a really creepy little story! It tells of a seemingly normal old lady, one who invokes a sense of affection in strangers. Yet she is not what she seems and those people who offer their help will find themselves facing a fate of death, simply for offering assistance.

You've written this piece in quite a passive voice which although works, made it a little inaccessible to me. I found it a little difficult to read, but that's okay because it was short. The plot moved at a good pace and lured the reader into a false sense of security before pouncing and revealing the true nature of the old lady!

I too have seen little old people whom I want to help out or offer assistance to... I'll make sure to refrain next time!

A few suggestions I had:

Being a good nature soul that they are - this should be 'natured'

and breathe like the deceased - this should be 'breath'

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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by Maryann

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#3675818

Review of A picture I drew when I was four.

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hey!

This is a Power Review! I came to return the lovely review you sent my way yesterday!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

This is a really powerful and emotional piece. I really love that you've written it from the point of view of a child, it really comes across well. I feel like you have her voice and thoughts down so well and it seems authentic. You take the reader through the story, the plot moving at a good pace. You give away small snippets of information at a time to help us understand what is going on.

I think in particular the emotion of confusion came across really well in this. This little girl has no idea what is going on or why, or even that she is different. And that's such a sad though I really just wanted to hug her! You've created a really good character in the protagonist.

A few suggestions I had:

I only draw it because I didn’t have any other friends. - this should be 'drew' because it happened in the past.

In the title I would probably take the full stop out of it

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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#3675276

Review of She just fell.

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (3.5)

Hey!

This is a Power Review! I noticed that you're joining us at the Power Reviews and wanted to stop by to say hello!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

Well done on an emotional piece! Your story tells of the relationship between a girl and her step mother. On the surface it's seemingly a nice relationship and the two girls get on well but once David disappears, Sarah changes and becomes the evil step mother of fairy tales.

It's a change that seemed to happen all of a sudden and for a reason that Sarah gave that Stacy didn't understand. I think I would have liked to hear a bit more of the argument between them, to maybe get a hint about where the accusation came from and why Sarah thought Stacy had said that.

A few suggestions I had:

I and Sarah got on great - this should be the other way around:

Sarah and I got on great.

Or if you wanted to be a bit more informal you could write:

Sarah and me...

Oh no what have I done? I questioned myself. - this bit in Sarah's perspective is in her thoughts. Perhaps to make it a little clearer to the reader you could put it into italics?

I kneeled down next to her unconscious body. - to keep this in the past tense you could change 'kneeled' to 'knelt'

I think I would have liked to see a bit more to the story because I think this would work as a longer piece. Perhaps if you help the reader understand some of the emotions involved and the relationship between Sarah and Stacy.

Overall I think this is a well written piece with a solid plot idea

Try to be careful because there are a few times where you've slipped tenses (it's easy to do I know!) but just something to think about when you're writing.

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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#3675263

Review of Once Upon A Zombie Story

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (4.0)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

This seems like the start of something good, is it something you plan to continue with?

The story moves at a good pace, introducing information as needed. You have begun developing the characters, allowing the reader to see snippets of their personalities and how they all work together. They all seem like really tough characters, which I suppose is needed for the sort of job that they do.

The story left me wanting more. I wanted to find out about their mission, how it went and whether they managed to foil the evil genius once more.

A few suggestions I had:

you won't speak, eat, breath, shit - this should be 'breathe'

"They're all your's Haru." - this doesn't need a comma in 'yours'

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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#3675258

Review of A Night at The Circus

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

This short piece was really good

It was clear and concise and got right down to the nitty gritty of the story which worked really well!

You opened it with the narrative of the protagonist, talking like a private eye from a movie like His Girl Friday. You really seemed to have the speech and the theme down really well! You develop his character as much as it needs to be for the short story.

The theme of zombie clowns... unique and scary! Both of them scare me, and putting the two together was ingenious

Good write!

A suggestion I had:

I spun on my heals - this should be 'heels'

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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#3675202

Review of Diary of a Zombie [ a work in progress]

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

I really love anything zombie so really wanted to come and check this out, so here I am!

So far so good

You seem to have made a good start to the story, capturing the panic and confusion both on the mass public as well as the main characters. You have begun to develop the main characters well, allowing the reader to begin to understand the sort of people that they are, their motivations and personalities. This is great because it makes the reader want to read on.

The story moves at a good pace, allowing snippets of information out where necessary to keep the reader drawn in.

A few suggestions I had:

My name is Dawn Thompson.. - just a small typo here, two full stops instead of one.

Yesterday I was walking my usual shift - I think there's something missing here. I think you either need to add 'to' after 'walking' or change it to 'working'

The women reporter - this should be 'woman'

everyone should go immediately to there homes - this should be 'their' as it indicates possession. It is her house.

I told him about the reports on the news and he hasn’t really said much more since. - the story is written in the past tense but this sentence brings it into the present. I would suggest changing it, perhaps to:

I told him about the reports on the news. He didn’t really say much more.

'We decided to head towards my house, his house was obviously not safe anymore and the only thing we could think to do was listen to what the broadcast was saying. Witch was to stay home and secure all entrances.'

I think I would change this to:

'We decided to head towards my house. His house was obviously not safe anymore and the only thing we could think to do was listen to what the broadcast was saying, which was to stay home and secure all entrances.'

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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by Maryann

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#3675199

Review of Biohazard Outbreak - Resident Evil

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (3.0)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

I love anything that is zombie so I wanted to read this when I saw it. While I've played and watched various Resident Evils I'm not sure if I've seen this one.

So far so good, I assume you haven't finished. Are you going to continue with this piece? I think you've got the stream of consciousness down really well, we see every thought of the characters who are narrating throughout. I think that this can often be hard to do so well done for that.

A few suggestions I had:

I think while you've got the basic plot idea down and you're moving forward with that, it took me a while to realise that you were switching between characters to tell the story. I think that it might be because you're telling it as the person is thinking it so the reader is unable to tell when the character is changed.

I would suggest either changing the point of view and writing it in first or third person (rather than as a thought stream) or making sure you're clear that each character is separate. I guess one way to do this would be to make it clear to the reader that each character has a really different and distinct personality.

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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#3675198

Review of "A Narrative Regarding Zombification"

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (3.5)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

I wanted to read this because it seems like you, I too have a fascination with the undead!

This article is informative, offering a lot of information to a reader who has no notion of the undead. If I'm honest, I didn't know a lot about this either so it was good to find out. I wasn't aware of where the zombie orignated or the belief behind it.

But of course you're right, though it may be a myth there is nothing to say the dead will not walk the earth one day...

A suggestion I had:

I think although you've written well here, the sequence isn't in a very logical order. Perhaps it needs to be reordered so the reader can understand the process from beginning to end (just you are talking about the Coup Padre and then the dead body, I would have thought it'd be the other way around.)

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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#3675130

Review of The One

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

Well done on a really nice piece. I think I was drawn into the piece because it was described as written from a male point of view and this really intrigued me. Hope you don't mind me asking but why did you write this from a male point of view and how do you see it as being different from a female point of view? Just a thought!

The poem works well, each stanza working together with the rhymes fitting nicely without force. It seems to have been a piece that has easily flowed from your mind.

The subject is really sweet and depicts the stages of a relationship; I can see all this as it's happening and recognise the stages and the feelings that go with it too

A suggestion I had:

I would just say make sure to be consistent with your punctuation, in some you have full punctuation and others there is some missing.

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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by Maryann

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#3675126

Review of Broken Bird

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hey!

This is a Power Review! I found you on the Power Shop Review Board!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

Well done on a really powerful piece. I think from the minute I began to read I was drawn into this story which is brilliant!

The description you use throughout is great, it really captured my attention and set the scene. I could imagine the pond, surrounded by trees, the wind fierce, the girl, anxious. You use good description when it is necessary but also are able to slow down the description when action takes precedence which is good too.

You've created a really good and strong character in this young woman, this Raven. I really felt for her as I read and felt myself really wishing she was able to get through the trauma she was suffering. To me, she seemed like a star in the shadows, something different and someone who was not willing to back down. I really liked her as a character (and hated the man who abused her).

When I first opened this piece, my thoughts were around forced marriage and honour based violence. I'm not sure if this is because she was a young girl and I was seeing an older man, who was clearly in control of the situation. I don't think this is a bad thing because although it wasn't about that issue, it was about the girl being rejected because she had different values.

A few suggestions I had:

While I really enjoyed this piece and understood that the girl was being looked down upon and ostrasized for having different ideals and values to her community, I found myself wondering what she had done so differently. I found myself wanting to know more about the community, about what actions she made to bring shame down upon herself. It was obviously a very strict culture with tight belief structures that she was rejecting, but I wanted to know more about that. Just a thought!

I would suggest where you have the line break, you could perhaps use three emoticons and centre them on the page? It's just a thought but I think it might make the piece look a little neater.

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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#3674781

Review of Ode to Coffee

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

I saw this and really wanted to read it because I too, love coffee! I find that I can't function without my early morning caffeine hit, much as the person in this piece can't either!

I think you've written this well, showing the reader the protagonist's love and need for coffee through your vivid description of both the coffee and its brewing but also of the man and his impatience on waiting for it.

I particularly liked how you described it as 'divine essense' ! I have to agree with you there!

A suggestion I had:

Making my thoughts soaring for its delight - this line didn't sit quite comfortably with me and I suspect that 'soaring' should be 'soar' but I'm not 100% so ignore me if you think I'm wrong!

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

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#3674687

Review of Justice Is Served with a Side of Bacon

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

Well done on this short little piece. It tells of a man who was sent to do a job but failed because someone got there before him. However, he made up for that and managed to stop the terrorists from doing anymore damage!

A suggestion I had:

he reflected on the job he undertook that has him in constant pursuit of the cops. - here the word 'has' brings the story into the present when you have written it in past tense. I would suggest changing it for 'had'

I would maybe also say that after he rammed the van with his car, I didn't think it was clear that he died. I thought he was just in pain, so maybe this could use a little extra detail.

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

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#3673951

Review of The Publishing Industry Defined?

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

I'm quite interested in trying to get published so this piece really made me sit up and want to read! I think you've done well to clarify a lot of the jargon used within publishing,particularly around the roles and what that can mean, so well done!

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

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#3673940

Review of Laura

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (4.0)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

She is one evil little girl! Hope I don't come across someone like her. I think you've written this piece well and even though it's short, you've managed to develop Jimmy well as a character giving the reader a brief insight into his background (and therefore his motivations) as well as his personality.

The story moves at a good pace and although I knew something of the sort was going to occur, I didn't know exactly so that was a good surprising element. You build the suspense well, even up to and past the point where the doors open and everyone turns to face Jimmy.

A few suggestions I had:

“Right” Jimmy replied sarcastically. - I think you need a comma after the word 'right' here

Those that were supposed to help him only ignored his plight or worse. - I may be wrong but I feel like there should be a comma after the word 'plight'

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

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#3673935

Review of The Silent Night

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

This was a really good piece. I wasn't sure what to think when I opened this but it appealed to me and I kept an open mind, and I'm glad I did. You depict the different emotions throughout this piece really well, from the teenage jubilation of the forbidden alcohol at a party to the fear and hysteria felt towards the end of the shark attack.

I particularly like the line:

'Although we held no real grudges, we cursed our parents, our teachers, school, and life itself, getting louder and more courageous with every word.'

I think it really captures how young people are/can be, particularly that there are 'no real grudges' but they do it anyway!

A suggestion I had:

The only suggestion I had was for you to take another look at the layout of the piece, in a few places there are line breaks when there needn't be/

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

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by Maryann

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#3673928

Review of Prolog - Professor's Death

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hey!

This is a Power Review! I'm returning a review you did for me!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

For your first piece of fiction you've done really well! I think you use description really well to build both the scene and the suspense to keep the reader wanting more. The description really helped me see the world the Professor was walking in, how dark and gloomy and rainy it was. It really painted a picture.

We meet the Professor who seems like a lonely but content man, but that is all we learn because he is then killed! I found this to be a really good opening to something bigger, you have a great hook here and left me wanting more!

A few suggestions I had:

He was lost in his thoughts as suddenly - this is fine as it is but I'm only pointing it out because I think I'd feel more comfortable with it if you had the word 'when' instead of 'as'. But I don't think it's a necessary change just something I thought I'd note!

The adrenaline in his blood had done all what it could - I would say here, delete the word 'what'. It's not needed.

The killed pulled the knife out and stabbed him again. - I think this should be 'killer'

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

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#3673920

Review of In the Darkness

for entry "Welcome Home"

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

You're probably still in the middle of working on this but when I saw it in the hub in the recently added books section I was really drawn to it and wanted to read it!

So far so good. You've begun setting the scene and the background for the story and I can already feel the suspense building; she's really apprehensive and you've brought that across brilliantly. I think her character is developing well and I can't wait to see more of her!

A suggestion I had:

Then was came the homes, - this was the very last line I read. I think the word 'was' may be extra but I can also see you've stopped mid sentence so you're probably not finished there!

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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by Maryann

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846

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14 days may be credited.

#3662313

Review of Department Store

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

This story actually really creeped me out! I think you've written it really well, explaining your side of the story from the child's point of view, exactly as you saw it. I love that world that you gave us a glimpse into

You described both man and boy really well. Towards the end I got really creeped out by the man, the one posing as somebody to be trusted who obviously couldn't be. Well done on being able to write so well as to create such a shivery feeling in your reader. And thank you for sharing this with us

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

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by Maryann

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847

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3661199

Review of A More Gentle Approach

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

I don't often read non-fiction pieces, but this really caught my eye. I've been struggling with my hair being in a bad condition for months now and I'm hoping I'll get some good advice from your article!

I'm really glad I did decide to check out this piece. I had absolutely no idea that such harmful substances were present in shampoos (and probably indeed many other products we use). I'm really shocked and while I understand it's for us to do our homework, the thought has never crossed my mind until now. I've always used store-bought shampoo and it's not something I've ever considered.

But I think that now, it will be. Perhaps the root cause of my hair being so damaged is the products being put onto it. I think that I will look into making my own.....

Thanks for such an informative piece!!

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

[E]
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by Maryann

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848

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3660005

Review of The Addict and The Zombie

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

Hey! I really love anything zombie so had to come by and check this out. Plus it seems like a fun concept and I wanted to see what you came up with

So here I am!

This was a fun little piece which looked on the lighter side of being a zombie, with the zombie actually being the doctor in this case! The plot moves at a good pace and we see Mary being cured from her addiction and an odd relationship being formed between doctor and patient, making them both happy

A few suggestions I had:

He knocked on the door urgently, which Buzz open - this should be 'opened'

Mary, realizing all her wrong ways, begins to cry and spends the next hour being counseled - something I've noticed is that you switch between past and present tense in this piece. I tend to find it's better to stick to one because it helps the reader and the flow of the story. If I was going to write this in the past tense I would write:

Mary realised all of her wrong ways and began to cry, spending the next hour being counselled...

or if I was going to write it in present tense I would write:

Mary, realising all her wrong way, begins to cry and spends the next hour being counselled...

Hope this makes sense?!

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

[E]
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by Maryann

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849

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3659942

Review of The Stone Cottage-Chapter 1

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

For me, the title really drew me into this piece; I wanted to know about the stone cottage and what made it worth writing about

I think this is the start of something really nice. You have written about two people, not necessarily lonely people, who have met via the internet and connected instantly with a bond that is more than that of a relationship built on whim. You've introduced the two characters well, giving the reader insight into their previous lives but also their needs and desires of the present. They both seem like very likeable characters and I can only wonder where their relationship will go. I found myself wanting to know what happens next? What happens within the walls of the stone cottage?

A suggestion I had:

that he was, indeed, the one She’d been waiting for - I think this should maybe be a small 's' ?

I think this is the start to something good, you introduce the characters and the story well and leave the reader wanting more

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

[E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann

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850

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14 days may be credited.

#3659939

Review of Haunted

Review by blue jellybaby

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (4.0)

Hey!

This is a Power Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

What I liked:

The title and description of this piece really intrigued me; I read it as a person who is haunted rather than a place. Anyway! So I decided to read it, so here I am.

Okay, so now I've read this piece and it was completely not what I expected! But that's not a bad thing. I think this piece has been really well written and thought out. You've portrayed your emotions on the subject of relationships, and some in particular, that affect you in such a way. I feel like you've written put a lot of yourself into this piece and I think that must have been hard, so well done.

I hope you're okay

Hope this helped!

But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

[E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann

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