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1,017 Total Reviews Given
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Review of A Jealous Muse  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Horror, Inc.  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi there!

Thank you for participating in today's Daily Slice! As today's judge, I wanted to give you some feedback on your story!

Well, this was a very interesting story, and I certainly felt that you really met the challenge of today's prompt very well. I thought the story line you created had great intrigue, wonder, and fear. The writing flowed pretty well off the page; I only saw a few errors in spelling, grammar, and punctuation. I thought you set up a premise that really could go far in terms of fear; my criticism of your piece would be that it needs more development. Although I felt you met the scare factor (which is why you won!), I would have liked to read more and know more. How did this mysterious Muse come to be? What powers did he have? Why was his so enamored of the writer? Did they "have" a relationship...? etc, etc.

Otherwise, this was a great tale.

Thank you again for participating in the Daily Slice! We look forward to seeing more of your work on our pages!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review of The Chair  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Horror, Inc.  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi there!

Thank you for participating in today's Daily Slice! As today's judge, I wanted to give you some feedback on your story!

This was a great story to read! Certainly, I thought you met the challenge of the prompt very well, and in a very ingenious and creative way. When I initially saw the prompt, my mind did go to the electric chair, but I couldn't think what anyone would do with the story beyond that...not to mention, it seemed so cliche. But alas! I stand corrected! Way to go!

It had a great pace, and the plot was well-conceived. I loved how you moved the story from scene to scene, ratcheting up the terror bit by bit. I loved, loved, loved how the chair kept coming back! That was gleefully horrific! I would have been freaked out of my mind if that happened to me!

Anyway, I didn't see any errors in spelling, grammar, or punctuation, so that's always a plus!

Congratulations on your win and thank you again for participating in the Daily Slice! We look forward to seeing more of your work on our pages!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
** Image ID #1844179 Unavailable **
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Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there!

You reviewed something of mine earlier and I wanted to return the favor!

Thank you so much for sharing your work! This was a lovely piece of free writing. It was warm, genuine, and heartfelt, and I think anyone can relate to the message being conveyed here. Actually, to me, this read more like a simple prayer that one might offer to their beloved fighting abroad and that is how I connected to this poem. I thought your writing was direct and to the point; it had no frills, but I don't think that would have been necessary. I think the manner in which you wrote this piece is more appropriate to better convey a greater depth of emotion.

On a more technical note, I did not see any errors in spelling, grammar and punctuation, and so that's always a plus.

Keep up the good work and right on!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review of Bad Things  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi there!

Thank you for sharing your work! This was a very good story, and I think you definitely met the challenge of the prompt. It was such a great idea, and you executed well. The story line was actually very gripping and suspenseful, and certainly I thought it rang true with a note of reality. Because it had such a realistic feel to it, I thought that this piece was exceptionally horrifying. I don't think it would be difficult for any reader to empathize with the lead character, and feel her fear and helplessness.

The writing of your piece was also spot-on, free of any errors in spelling, grammar and punctuation. It looked very polished to me. This was a great piece!

Keep up the good work and write on!

Elizabeth John
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Review of Paranoia  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi there!

Welcome to WDC! I noticed that you were new to the site so I wanted to drop by your port and give you a quick review! You also very kindly reviewed something of mine and I wanted to return the favor!

Thank you for sharing your work, I thought this was interesting, but I did have some questions. The title of the poem is paranoia, and initially in the beginning of your poem, I did get that sense of fear. However, as the poem goes on, it becomes a little convoluted and I was unsure about what you were talking about. There were a few lovely lines about the sunlight glimmering through a window, but actually, even though the narrator is imprisoned, I really found that sentence to be very hopeful. After that, I wasn't quite able to follow the intent of your poem. Some of the references were a little too vague for me, so I wasn't able to pull meaning out of it.

My only suggestion would be to make your intent a little more concrete for greater clarity. However, this is only a suggestion, so please feel free to disregard it as you need to if it does not suit your purposes.

Write on!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Horror, Inc.  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi there!

I wanted to drop you a line and let you know that I enjoyed your story today! I thought you did a great job meeting the challenge of today's prompt, so bravo!

What I liked about the story was that you took a relevant, pressing issue that I think any reader could appreciate and relate to and used it as a tool to misdirect the reader's sympathy--I loved that! I was reading, reading, reading, very short that the "bad one" was Leon, when lo and behold, the villainous one was Ms. Susan herself. What a great twist! Also, the writing was well done, and I didn't see any errors in spelling, grammar or punctuation.

I will make one critique, but keep in mind that I make this critique in light of the fact that this story is almost right at 1K. Perhaps you already have a longer version of your story on the computer that addresses this issue, so disregard if so. The one thing I would do for a little better cohesiveness would be to stress in the beginning that she is concerned specifically about how she is going to feed the children. Cost of food these days is so high, five months feed, what is she going to do, etc, etc. I don't think it will give away too much, highlight her desperation, and make an even stronger connection to the ending accordingly.

Anyway, that's just a suggestion. Please disregard if you don't feel that this is in keeping with your intent. Otherwise, a very enjoyable read. Congratulations on your win today! And thank you again for participating in the Daily Slice! We look forward to seeing more of your work on our pages!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
** Image ID #1844179 Unavailable **
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Review of The Woodshed  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Horror, Inc.  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi there!

Thank you for participating in today's Daily Slice! As today's judge, I wanted to give you some feedback on your story!

I thought you met the challenge of the prompt very well, and your story was well-crafted. There was a lot of great imagery and I could easily follow Stephanie's thoughts as she made the trek to the woodshed; I could clearly picture the scene as it unfolded. My only issue was towards the end; for me, it wasn't exactly clear what happened. I gathered that the boy had been attacked, but by who? And why? The same happened to Stephanie...and now John feared her? This part just didn't make sense to me.

Thank you again for participating in the Daily Slice! We look forward to seeing more of your work on our pages!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
** Image ID #1844179 Unavailable **
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Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there!

You reviewed a piece of mine earlier and I wanted to return the favor!

Thank you for sharing your work! I really liked this, mainly because you used a language that was very vivid, and actually brought forth in my mind a particular winter scene of my childhood that I cherish and think of fondly. I could easily relate to that "snowy world of joy" and I felt the glow of love that your words were meant to evoke. My only critique would be that in terms of the rhythm, for me, it wasn't as smooth or lyrical for me to read, but that may well be a personal preference and less of a critique of your work. Regardless, I loved the essence of this poem, the spirit.

Thank you again for sharing your work! Write on!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review of Cricket Black  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello--

You reviewed something of mine earlier this week and I wanted to return the favor!

Thank you for sharing your work! When I was looking through your portfolio, what drew me to this one was the title. I skipped over it at first, looking for something else, but the title drew me back in. I figured out that the poem was calling to me....and now I realize why! What a beautiful, touching poem. Really, it almost brought tears to my eyes. It was wonderfully emotional, despite--or perhaps because of--the profound sense of loss and sadness. It was really moving. I didn't see anything that you would need to correct or expand upon; I think it is perfect as it is.

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review of Without A Trace  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Horror, Inc.  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
HI there!

Thank you for sharing your work! This was a great little story. You certainly met the challenge of the prompt, and you did well telling the story of Kayla and her many boyfriends through Kayla's point of view. I thought that was very clever. The story kept me pretty well engaged, and I loved the ending of your story. I loved how it connected to the title--I love things like that!

Anyway, although your writing is mostly flawless, I found two small typos:

You wrote:
Shivering, Kayla imagining her creepy neighbor watching her through his peephole.

My suggestion:
I think you meant to say "Kayla imagined...."

You wrote:
Edward the benefit of offering an explenation

My suggestion:
Spelling error: Should be explanation.

Thanks again for sharing!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review of My Poetry  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there!

Me again--I'm in a reviewing mood this evening! It's because of the three-day weekend! Woo-hoo! Anyway, I really liked this one. I think it is spot -on, because it touches on the fact that as we write, we really do reveal so much of who and what we are. A friend of mine has been reading some of my stuff for me lately and was able to point out a recurring theme that I myself had not seen. When we talked about it, his response to me was, knowing me, he expects to see these things pop up in my writing. I was surprised, but I couldn't deny that it wasn't true. So to then come home and read this poem only a few mere hours after my conversation with him...well....well.

Good job with this one!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review of The Daisy  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there!

I got drawn in by your question: "Does anyone even say this anymore?" so I had to read. It made me smile.

I think I only have one critique, and that's the last line of the second stanza. I don't think it matches the tone of the rest of the poem. Even though the lines of each stanza are very short, there's still a kind of eloquence exuded that is not matched with the word "crazy". Actually, I was thinking that you might reference the fact that when a person pulled the petals off, wherever you were in the mantra when you got to the last petal would "dictate" your lover's feelings toward you. As such, it was really as much of a gamble as spinning a roulette wheel. My point is, it might be worth it to touch upon that aspect....but anyway, these are just thoughts and observations. Use or disregard as you see fit.

Anyway, keep up the good work!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review of Love#1  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Love, love, love this poem--I can so relate to this!

I've written two poems for myself about this very thing, so I can absolutely appreciate what you have written here and I feel the emotion in the words. From a more general standpoint, I think this type of writing pulls in many readers; from my own experience, I am often amazed how many people respond to poems about loves lost and regret, and when it's well-written, than all the more, all the better.

Thank you for sharing your work--this was really a good one.

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review of An Empty Nest  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there--

I like this poem very much, because it reminded me of two little empty nests in two different trees in my own yard; your poem effectively evoked the emotions that I experienced when I would spy those two little nests, especially the last stanza. One of the nests had a baby bird that was fiercely defended by its mother; every time my husband would walk by, the mother bird would actually attack! It was funny then, but then one day, my husband found the little bird had died--oh, he was so upset! In any case, I guess the mother bird flew away, but of course, the nest stayed long after..."just an empty nest..." in our backyard...

Thanks for sharing!

Elizabeth John
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Review of Forever and More  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there!

You reviewed something of mine earlier and I wanted to return the favor!

I think this poem is just lovely and it speaks to a very common human experience that I think many readers can relate to: being hurt and putting up those defenses that sometimes keep us from taking a second chance at love and happiness. The single best stanza in this poem is the last one, bar none. It absolutely hit home with me, and the last line was powerful and moving.

Thank you for sharing your work. It was a pleasure to read!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review of Stranger  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi there!

You reviewed something of mine earlier and I wanted to return the favor!

I really liked your poem. This is going to sound a little weird, but I really, really loved the title as it related to the topic matter. I found it so appropriate--who is death, if not a stranger who comes into our lives for a moment and then is gone the next? Additionally, the word itself leads such an air of mystery...which is then amplified as you read the poem. I thought your descriptions were spot-on and my favorite lines of the poem were the first two. Loved the wording!

Thanks for sharing!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review of Avenging Angel  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi there--

I'm supposed to be headed for bed, but as is becoming my habit, I had to stop and take a peek, and I'm soooo glad I did! This was a really cool story. I really loved the build-up, even better than the ending I think, because you really let us into Walter's mind by showing how he tricked the old lady into leaving the neighbor. I thought was the best, although, the whole story was just fantastic! The plot was very clever---a really great twist on a classic theme. There's nothing like a good twist to shake things up a bit!

I only found one mistake:

You wrote:

That fuckin' cunt is the reason he didn't often indulge himself this close to home.

My suggestion:

I would change the is to was. Otherwise, the tense shift sounds a little awkward.

Anyway, that was a fun late night read! Keep up the good work!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review of Time  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there--

Just taking a mental break from a class that I'm taking and I saw your poem. I really liked this! It was cute and fun, and yet, very poignant. I thought you very deftly hit upon all those traits and characteristics that make 'time' what it is, whatever it is. The pace and the rhythm of the writing and the verse was very quick, making it a very easy read, but also made it flow nicely.

Thanks for sharing your work! Good job on this one!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review of Pretend  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there!

Thank you for sharing your work! I really liked this poem. It seems that it is a "spin-off" of your other poem "Memories", but for me, this one really hit the mark, I guess because it appealed to my sense of sadness and tragedy. I think it touched upon exactly what I felt was missing in the first poem. I felt a lot of emotion in this poem, and it reminded me of my emotions about something I like to "pretend" about, so good job with the triggers! I think you did well with this one!

Good job!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review of Memories  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there--

Thank you for sharing your work! This was interesting. I read it because I think that you are onto something with "memories" and certainly, within your poem, I felt that you hit upon something that everyone can relate to, and that is the magic and the power of memories. They have the ability to help us of course remember and relive quite possibly some of the best moments of our lives, especially since they are the only way that we can travel back in time.

My critique of your poem would be to expand a little more on this topic. Right now, the piece is very short, and there is a lot of redundancy in the piece. My other suggestion--although take this with a grain of salt--would be to touch on the good and the bad memories in our lives, and how they affect us, but of course, you don't have to. It's just a thought...my mind typically stays in the dark, and so this is where that suggestion is coming from! *Smile* You're probably not nearly as dark and twisted as I am!

In any case, I hope this was helpful, but please disregard anything that you disagree with or that you feel is unmerited.
Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review of Prayer  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there!

I was just passing through looking at people's entries today, and I thought I would let you know that I really liked this one. I thought you took this idea of prayer and conveyed its importance in a profound and exceptional way. I thought it really rang with some eloquence. Of course, you also seemed to meet the structure challenge very well.

Good job with this one! I thought it was lovely and showed real depth of meaning.

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review of Canada Geese  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there!

You reviewed a piece of mine earlier and I wanted to return the favor!

Thank you for sharing your work! This was an absolutely cute poem--I loved it! I thought it was very light and carefree, even as you told the story of the very bad geese and their mischievous ways. The rhythm/rhyme scheme stayed pretty tight, and as a result, the poem flowed very well. I only have one criticism. You wrote:

I never thought I’d ever be

Rescued by a fox!

I think this is the only spot where I had a little stumble with the rhythm. Perhaps you could do something like this:

But I never thought that I would be
Rescued by a fox!

But that's just a thought. In any case, a very enjoyable read--keep up the good work!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review of Walk Tall  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi there--

You reviewed a piece of my earlier and I wanted to return the favor!

I liked this because it spoke to my own personal experience, so I could really relate. Even the description, which for all intents and purposes, has nothing to do the with the actual writing of the piece but still drew me in as part of the words you wrote.

I think you portrayed the emotion accurately, given the nature of the situation that the man was in. When all is said and done, really, what more is there to do other than "walk tall"?

Good job on this one!
Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review of Life The unknown  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hi there--

You reviewed something of mine earlier this week and I wanted to return the favor!

This was very interesting, but as you stated, it's not yet finished. Only based on what you have here, I think you do have a good beginning, but it's kind of hard to judge because you're not done. One thing I will tell you is that there are one or two misspelled words. Additionally, I'm not sure about the setting of your poem. At first I thought it was the beach, then a lake, then I just wasn't sure. I think it might be good to tighten up the setting as it seems kind of critical to a poem entitled "Nature". I don't think you have to come right out and say "beach" or "forest" or something like that, but just enough concrete clues to nail down the setting for the reading. But that's just a thought.

Okay, well, thank you for sharing what you have so far. Good luck on finishing this poem!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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Review of Danse de Vie  Open in new Window.
Review by elizjohn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there--

You reviewed a piece of mine earlier and I wanted to return the favor!

Thank you so much for sharing your work! I thought this was lovely, tender, and of course, bittersweet. Simply, it told the story of romance, love, life and of course, unfortunately, death. It was not a difficult poem to understand--which I greatly appreciate!--but still very eloquent in its verse and wordage, which I loved.

I also thought the title was very aptly named; I speak French so I understand the title immediately and when I read the poem, I thought it was very apropos.

Thank you again for sharing!

Respectfully,
Elizabeth John
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