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451
451
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1528246 Unavailable **
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.

*Note2* Overall Impression:

Wow! I was listening to 'bridge over troubled waters' before I stumbled lover this poem and I was reading it with tune of the song. It went beautiful to the music in the first two verses and then fell out of rhythm towards the middle of the poem. it didn't match one of my favorite songs,after all.... so I turned the music off:P This poem was beautiful!

*Note3* Suggestions:
I have none but to ask permission to favorite this and read it again and again. I shall pretend I know formal forms of poetry, although I only recognize your words and how they made me feel. All this abbbdd bbccaa stuff confuses me still:P

*Note4* What I personally liked the Most:

I enjoyed all of the poem. It told of a story (to me) of enlightenment. But the first two lines, though simple, were beautiful and set the story up so well.

*Note5* Summary:

I don't need your permission to favorite. haha:) There is the button right there *click*

*Thumbsup* Thank you for the read and Write on!

I have been adopted by a mentor in The Angel Army
*Note5*"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.*Note5*
452
452
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
can I make a donation? I am so new but would be willing to offer the following package..

a mini poetry port raid, including ten reviews of their work. An awardification for my favorite poem or merit badge for poetry (their choice). A c-note 'thank-you" to highest bidder for their generousity.

if it is okay, let me know. thanks:) I am very new to this but it a great cause:)
453
453
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
** Image ID #1569039 Unavailable **

This is a poem about death? This makes me sad. I hate to think that anyone thinks of death as something beautiful, especially someone so young who should be filled with life. I am sure this is just something you felt for a short time...at least i am hoping.

The poem was haunting because i knew what you were speaking of. If i didnt know it was a poem about death it could have been quite a pretty little picture of like a fantasy place.

It is good thought to write down your feelings. i hope this takes some pain away, writing as a form of release of those feelings that are not always so good for us.
454
454
Review of You have no idea  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
** Image ID #1569039 Unavailable **

the is is a great start at explaining how you feel, but may I offer some thoughts and perhaps help?

the first part...

You have no idea
You think im happy
You think im content
But if you could see the thoughts
The thoughts I think

what would they think? finish the thought before going on to the next part.

also you should break up the poem into verses of some sort. making it have seperate parts, like a beginning, middle, end sort of thing.

I love these lines:

Every beat of my heart is filled with heartache
Every breath I take is forced
Everey day I live is wasted away
Little by little I fade away

you might want to break up the lines a little more and of course, again, check your spelling. but wow! great words that make the reader feel your pain.

write on:)
455
455
Review of War  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1569039 Unavailable **

Wow! very short poem but powerful, very powerful and made me remember that day.

I think your puncutation is a little off. you have periods after the first two words but not after that.

This brought back memories of that terrible day on 9/11. I think you said so much with these few words.
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456
Review of Why  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
** Image ID #1569039 Unavailable **

wow! I feel odd wishing you happy anniversary after reading this as it is so sad. I feel like I should mourn for you.

There is something positive about you life, you are loved. perhaps not by the one you love and want, but that will come one day. I loved some of the words you used in describing you pain, but some are misspelled. I know, I am horrid at spelling too, but people notice it and it lessens the impact your words have if they are not spelled correctly. *looks for a spell check for reviews*

Write on, but try the word processor for spelling and final editing of your poems:)
457
457
Review of Gaurdian Angel  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
** Image ID #1569039 Unavailable **

What a sad poem but with a happy ending, thank goodness!

again, your spelling is lacking. If you have a word processor, copy and paste this into it and then click on spell check. it will look for all spelling errors for you and also grammer fixes. It has helped me a lot. I hope you try it.

write on!
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458
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
** Image ID #1569039 Unavailable **

Again, Happy WDC Birthday.

I enjoyed reading this poem. some of it was a little confusing to me. The first half really. When you explain that you like her and she likes another...girl? Forgive me, but is the first girl gay? I have no issue with that, it just might leave some wondering and perhaps that is the reason she didnt choose you?

I think you should work some more on this. But I loved certain lines.

Heartbreak and heartache,
They consume me.
I can feel the pain

the very beginning...

Winding circles,
Winding paths,
Turn me round,

very nice!

I think you have talent. It is a little rough, perhaps because you are so young. I think you will grow into a great poet if you continue to practice. I know I have been writing all my life and I still have so much to learn. but please write on!
459
459
Review of I'm sorry  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
** Image ID #1569039 Unavailable **


First Happy Anniversary!

I am assuming you are young by the words in your poem. I love to see younger people writing about thier feelings.

The poem told of a sad time in your life and I hope you have healed from it and moved on to better things.

that being said, as far as the actual poem. You might want to do some spell checking.

write on!
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460
Review of A Checkmate  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
** Image ID #1569039 Unavailable **


Happy WDC birthday again:)

I am sorry but I have to say reading this was a little awkward. I think the story has good bones and with some serious editing, could be quite good. I could barely get the message I think you were trying to convey to the reader because of the fast pace you wrote of the events.

writing short stories is never easy, at least not for me. Almost all pieces are not works of art when first writen. I hope you work on this.
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461
Review of Innocent Eyes  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1569039 Unavailable **


Again Happy WDC birthday!

What a sad poem. I am not sure if this is based in actuality, but if it is, I am so sorry. I can 'feel' the hurt even though I have never experinced this kind of loss myself.

I hope you found healing. It sounds like you have from your poem.
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462
Review of The Engagement  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
** Image ID #1569039 Unavailable **


Happy Anniversary!

This story was cute but a little confusing as a read. I had to scroll up at times to make sure if it was Tom or Sue speaking. I am not sure if you needed to use all dialog for a contest, but if not, perhaps a little revising would make sure that we knew who was talking and add to the story.

This is just my opinion and really a humble one at that. I am not a prfessional editor, nor profession writer.
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463
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
this makes perfect sense to me. I think i will use this same way of thinking when rating. I wish we had a universal way of rating here, but we have to factor in personal tastes, so one can not take all our received (or given) ratings as meaning our work is one way or another as far as stars (or grading) goes.

great post.

btw...your letters in your grading system are spaced wrong in some areas. I think the tab was meant to be the same as all others???
464
464
Review of Tears  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
** Image ID #1528246 Unavailable **
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to give you my opinion, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.

Overall Impression: A sorrow filled poem of someone who feels all alone.

Suggestions: In the line:For I do not belong. I would take the word 'for' out. it doesn't read right for me in the first verse (IMO) and would stand alone without the 'for'

check capitalization.

I would work on the ending. it started about YOUR pain and ended a little awkward with his/her pain and you comforting him/her. It confused me a bit.



What I Iiked Most: the potential of this poem to become a great one! the bones are all there.

Summary: I feel with editing and some revision, we will have a work of true art:)
465
465
Review of Emotions  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
** Image ID #1528246 Unavailable **
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to give you my opinion, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.

Overall Impression: This poem tells what it feels to suffer the loss of a great love. It explained what the reader felt at the time and I am sure many could relate.

Suggestions: In some places you have some errors

I suddenly become cold and tears burn my lids. (bacame/ burned) keeping it in tune with past tense...
I listened to the beats of silence until my ears feel clogged. (felt?)
I felt lost, I felt behind. (left behind?)


What I Iiked Most:The imagery was great.you can feel the author's pain( i didn't like the author's pain but the fact that I could feel it while reading)

Summary: I would revise it a little and keep in the mlment but the piece has great potential.
466
466
Review of SURPRISE!!  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1565038 Unavailable **

OMG! what sick homor! I love it!!!! lol

I loved the imagery from start of his cry of help, to then realizing it was aparty and then grandma's feelings:P

I do not know that all would appreciate this kind of homor but I do. I find humor healing (although this work is fiction), especially in what would normally be considered sad or terrible circumstances.

great! write on:) and again..Happy WDC birthday:)
467
467
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)

** Image ID #1528254 Unavailable **


OMG! This scene made me almost cry. I am so sorry that you experienced something like this. I do not feel like commenting on the poem except to say it is very well written.

I want to wish you much love and tell you i appreciate the painful experience this must have been for you.
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468
Review of Daybreak  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)

** Image ID #1528254 Unavailable **


Another huge "WOW!"

This is again, beautiful. I am amazed by your talent. It is a little daunting reading other's work at times. I feel i will never messure up or learn all there is to learn. but then i think, some of the best authors started somewhere and there seems to be no better place to learn then here among talent authors and challenges daily.

I am confused still what a verse and a stanza is...*feels silly* but I think it is the fourth verse that is my favorite. great imagrey!!!
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469
Review of Arrested Time  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1528254 Unavailable **


I am learning more and more daily about the different styles and kinds of poetry out there. I appreciate reading authors who teach me something new. I am still so new to writing, even though I have been writing all my life it seems.

I think the flow of this piece is nice. It is a bit sad....especially at the end. It reminds me of my own father. we do not have enough pictures of us.....((sad))
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Review of C-Notes Allsorts.  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1528254 Unavailable **


awesome images. I just recently realized what c-notes were. I love the idea of sending something like this to someone, so easily (for me, not the artist).

I especially love the friendship forever, god bless, congratulations and have a nice day. It is hard (I think) to put a image of a person in there and make it beautiful. at least my taste usually doesn't include people or faces as far as preference. but you did such an excellent job, i love those with these 'people' in them.

bookmarked:)
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471
Review of Who's there?  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1528254 Unavailable **


LOL! I just noticed after reading what seemed to be a familiar story I have rated this before. It must have been long ago because I have no idea of exactly what was said. I just know that i gave it five stars and know why I felt it deserved it.

The imagery is excellent and the story is sweet, compelling and complete. The words used are complex and well used.

I was drawn in to the child's fear, felt it and then was so happy to know it was mom:)

sweet story! Thank you for writing:)
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472
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1528254 Unavailable **


Please take my review as just my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor writer.

I loved the title and the last line. it was my favorite part. The story is a sad one (to me). I read it as being more in love with another then they are with you, at least in the end. In the beginning they found interest in newness.

I do wish it was longer. It seemed as soon as I begun to read what could have been a very complex poem, it ended:( but great start and wonderful ending!
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Review of Testosterone  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
LMBO!!!!
brought to by lets review forum:)


this is cute and funny and oh so true. sorry guys!

I liked how you set this poem up and how it read and umm...*goes to check spelling*

the spelling was spot on:)

this is one of your best. short, but funny and powerful.

write on:)
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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Great idea. I think this is wonderful of course. I am a cheesy cheesy person who loves sending out rainbow vibrations and pink bubbles:)

I now know I need to check back daily to make sure i do not miss a bday. I am happy to see there are shops up there with eaqsy access:)
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475
Review of Happy Birthday!  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very cute! I would love to see more of these birthday c-notes. You have quite a talent and this one I picked is just so adorable.

Thank you for the reasonable prices. as a newbie, I do not have tons of gp's to spend and you make it possible to make a birthday c-note easy to do:)
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