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I am not an expert reviewer, but I have some small amount of talent in the field of writing. I will not edit your work, but typos, grammar mistakes, etc. will be pointed out if I see them. I will give you my impression of your work, encourage you, and do my best to review the work.
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Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)


Good morning elizjohn,

From the history genre list on Writing.Com, I noticed this work of yours. It's beautiful, and adding the fact that it is a poem created from true-life happenings, makes it a few sad words depicting horrors humans inflict upon each other.

I read it aloud, it sounds very good when read that way. It unfolds between its lines, examples of inhumanities black people have suffered. No one in their right mind, can treat any human in the manner some black people were treated.

It's hard to describe the sound of your poem when read aloud; its rhythem , to me, is somewhat similar to a scattering of raindrops dropping steadily on a tin roof. Softly at one point, then firmer in the next. It shines! Thank you for sharing this with us readers.

Suggestions

The worst sin someone can commit when writing a review, is to offer suggestions for improvement of the work if none are needed, instead, I offer congratulations. Well done.

Regards, jackson

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Review of Kansas is Waiting  Open in new Window.
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)

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Hi Relanka,
I encountered your story here on Writing.Com. It's great. It's short, sweet and deals with the relationship between a young man, Joshua, and a young woman, Sarah. They are to meet and go away together to Kansas. But as the young man approaches the place of their meeting, all he finds to welcome him is a note, left by the one he thought was his true love. he reads it, as he does so, despair, anger and disappointment fill his heart.

Her words on the note explain everything, telling him she's sorry but she can't go through with it. In that moment, he realizes she is still Daddy's girl. He crumples the paper, tosses it, and with her already forgotten, sets off to where Kansas is waiting.

                   Spelling:

In the second paragraph where you say . . . holding tight to everything he owed, owed should be owned.



Regards, jackson


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Review of The Train Riders  Open in new Window.
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)


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Hi RjWaller,

Happy WdC accouny anniversary.
The Train Riders, your story, was an exhilarating story to read. From its lines, and from between its lines, I sort of experienced the trials these men went through while riding the train. The old breed of riders, the hobos, have kind of faded away with the twilight. You don't hear news of them anymore. Somewhere, in the lonely depths of despair and adventure, I am certain they still exist. As long as there are trains and rails leading somewhere, there they will be.

I enjoyed your tale of uncertainty, of danger waiting to grasp the life of these men and crush it, of the highs and lows of their day to day lives. Your presentation, story structure and punctuation was professional . . . You're on the right track, great work.

Regards, jackson

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Review of First Cousins  Open in new Window.
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)

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Hello The Bearded Chieftain,
I offer you congratulations on being a member of Writing.Com another year. Your story, First Cousins, caught my eye as I was browsing WdC.

I enjoyed it, for one reason, because I have spent hours reseaching my family, for another, because it was done in a fine manner. I noted no errors in punctuation or grammar in this work, and offer only one suggestion for its improvement. It's a fine story telling of first cousins separated by generations. The elder cousin enlisted in the Army generations bfore his younger cousin, but the two ended up joining the same unit.

My suggestion is: When abbreviating the month of the year, as you did with Aug and Sept, a period should be added at the end of the abbreviation.

Regards, jackson

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Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)


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Hello Landon St. John,
Congratulations on being with Writing.Com another year. Your item, The filthy apartment, is pretty good, sort of funny and is cohesive to the ears. There are not many places to offer suggestions for improvement, but I do have a couple.

My suggestions

The title of a piece of writing is important. Since it's the first thing a prospective reader sees, the ideal way to present it, is to begin all the important words with a capital letter.

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The important words in a title consist of all the words, with the exception of articles such as: and, a, the, and and. Also excepted are some prepositions such as: of. If any of the words just listed above are situated as the first word of a title, they should, of course, begin with a capital letter.

My impression

It was written well, expressed a dilemma and a reason for it. Keep on writing.

Regards, jackson

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Review of Passage to Heaven  Open in new Window.
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)

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Hello ThePaperMoon,
Congratulations on another year of being a Writing.Com member. Passage to Heaven, is a good title for your short poem. It was sweet, with your feelings expressed admirably, good job.

Suggestions

In your fourth line, I think a burst of firework should be, a burst of fireworks.

In the third line up from the last line, your the breeze under my wings should be, You're the breeze under my wings.

My conclusion

It flows reasonabley well, and switches chords along the way while making a sweet sounding little song. Write another . . .

Regards, jackson

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Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)


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Hello JCosmos,
Your description of Sam Adams is short, but it tells the reader many things. His age, his voice, his ethnic background, and his birthplace. We can, from your description, conjure up a figure of him almost like a photograph. The words you wrote look good on paper, and sound even better when read aloud. I liked your few words about the swamplands; a person can almost see an old black man trudging along through the swamp, every now and again, poking his stick in the water to assure he does not fall off his path into the jaws of a gator. Sometimes, he probably has a sharp stick to catch his gator supper for the next month. Well done, JCosmos. Keep it up . . .

Suggestion

In line four, you capitalized the Carolina part of South Carolina, but not South.

Regards, jackson
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Review of Worse Things  Open in new Window.
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)


         Hello dogwood212,
From a page in Anniversary Reviews, your name came up. Happy WdC account anniversary; I hope you have many more.
          I enjoyed reading your poem, Worse Things. It was great. Not only did it put before the reader tidbits of what life can be like, it possessed a melody throughout the lines, sort of like the song a robin might sing on an early morning.
         The structure of the lines melted into each other and produced appealing harmonies as the lines were read. There is nothing like free verse to dig into the heart of a writer and empty it of words left unsaid, but which needed saying. A short story could possibly do the same, but a short story can not produce a melody of words.

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You did a great job with this poem, always keep writing.

Regards, jackson

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Review of The hidden  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)


Hello SilverwindroseDragonMinstrel,
Happy WdC account anniversary.
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I noticed your statement about welcoming help with spelling, and that you have dyslexia. I have a few suggestions about your unfinished story, The Hidden.

Comments

Dyslexia must be a hard thing to overcome. Myself, I underwent chemotherapy, those chemicals kill not only lymphoma, which I had, but kill other, healthy cells. For a while, I found it necessary to call my grandchildren the kids. I couldn't recall their names. Enough about me . . . Your story, The hidden, you need to capitalize both words of the title, The Hidden. In your first sentence, suppose, should be supposed. By the I was raised, should be, By the way I was raised.

You need two commas in the second sentence, one after, Compared to some, and the other after, there was never a shortage of food . . .

In your second paragraph, the first word of the second sentence needs to begin with a capital letter, and mess should be changed to messy.

The first word of the third sentence should begin with a capital letter. After these words in the same sentence, animals don't care if are having a bad day, add a comma after day, and add the word, you. it needs to be, if you are having a bad day. Scritches needs to be scratches.

It the last sentence of the paragraph, the first word of the sentence needs to begin with a capital letter.

Further comments

I think most of the changes needed were caused by dyslexia, hang in there and always write. You are doing fine. I hope this review is helpful.

Regards, jackson

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Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)

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         Hello Moarzjasac,
Happy WdC account anniversary. I enjoyed reading your story. You portrayed the young children very well.

         My Interpretation

Tommy, who's eleven years old, and his eight year old sister, Sylvia, are walking to their grandma's house because their parents have been killed. They meet a man whom they see beating an almost dead horse. They make a deal . . . The man will stop the beating, get another horse and give the kids a ride to their grandma's. While the man is gone to get a horse, the children manage to, through their compassion and kindness, resuscitate the horse. In the end, a sheriff and the man find the children and the horse on the way to grandma's. The man lies, wants them arrested, but the sheriff, after questioning the children, sees through his lies and knows the truth. The man is taken into custody and is on his way to learning a lesson in the ways of true human beings.

Comments

It's an exciting story, well written, with only a couple of minor issues. In the fifth paragraph, after the words, The devils on horseback left after setting everything on fire; house, barn, chicken house and even the outhouse. The semicolon needs to be a colon. A colon precedes a list of things, and is itself preceded by an independent clause when used in a sentence. In the title, all the words, except the article a, need to begin with a capital letter.

It's a great story.

Regards, jackson
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Review of Hawks With Sins  Open in new Window.
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (3.5)


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         This review is meant to be encouraging to the author, not criticizing in nature. At the same time, any errors in its presentation will be noted, and suggestions made for their improvement. I know a great amount of effort comes from each writer's heart to create their work, and I applaud that effort.

         Hello, quiet web,

I see from the page, Anniversary Reviews, that this month is the month of your anniversary of being a member of Writing.Com. Congratulations!



General comments:


Your item, Hawks With Sins . . . It's an eye-beckoning title, with many individual entries. The particular entry I am reviewing today is: Beginning of Tears. It is short, precise, and a snippet involving, The Hangman's Daughter.

Punctuation issues:


Your first sentence:

The Hangman's Daughter felt a hand roughly grasp her chin but she kept her eyes closed.

My suggestion: In this sentence, the word but connects two independent clauses, so a comma is necessary before but.

The next sentence:

She heard a gutteral voice say "leave her, she will be out for a while yet."

My suggestion:

A comma needs to be placed after these words: comma after say She heard a gutteral voice say comma because they serve as an introductory phrase introducing the rest of the sentence.

Leave needs to be capitalized, because it is the first word of a sentence of dialog. Like this: She heard a gutteral voice say, "Leave her, she will be out for a while yet."

Next sentence:

In this sentence, you wrote: a lilting voice said "no, she is only pretending."

For this sentence, you need to capitalize the first word, (a). A comma needs to come after (said) because it is an introductory phrase indicating someone will be speaking. Then, you need to capitalize the word no as it is the first word of a sentence of dialog. Like this: A lilting voice said, "No, she is only pretending."

Next sentence:

You need to capitalize (a), the beginning word of this sentence. a soft hand struck her hard across the face sending her head rocking to the side.

Conclusion:


These remarks are meant to be helpful; I hope they will be. Keep on writing! It's a sweet, little piece of work.

Regards, jackson

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Review of Oh, Deer!  Open in new Window.
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)


Happy WdC account anniversary.

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         Hello BlueJay,
Right off, when I took the first look at your item, I noticed the title: Oh, deer! Deer needs to begin with a capital letter. The title is the first thing a reader will see and react to, the first thing an editor will see . . .

Inside the story

It's a good story, the main character encounters a deer. The deer can speak English. It convinces him that his life is in danger, and to survive he must follow it. Through many twists and turns and a few here and theres, it leads him to a safe place. Thereafter, an earthquake happens. The character, whose name is Jake, awakens. He is alone, but alive. On returning home, he sees his home is destroyed. Jake has this memory in his heart and will never forget the deer, but he will keep it to himself.

Punctuation and grammar

The seasons, spring and fall are not subject to capitalization, unless they are the first word of a sentence, or part of a story title.

In the second paragraph, this sentence: In fact Jake placed a deer feeder . . . needs a comma after In fact because it's an introductory phrase which introduces the main part of the sentence.

Comments

It's a good story and I enjoyed reading it, write more . . .

Regards, jackson

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Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)





Hello Cynaemon,

Happy Writing.Com account anniversary.

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From reading your notes at the bottom of the page, I can see this story means a lot to you and you want to leave it as it is. Therefore, I make no suggestions for changes. Besides, it doesn't need any changes, it's lovely already. I'll say only, that I enjoyed the story, that it's emotional and loving. For those of you wishing to know what it's about, click on the portfolio and select: The Summer of Goodbye. It's a well worthwhile story to read.

The cat, Tigger, tells the story in her own words, mentioning her great love for her owner, her dream of dying and her determination to take that walk toward death slowly, so she can be with her owner longer.
It's an excellent story, may Tigger, the cat, rest well in her promised land.

Punctuation and grammar

I noticed two tiny errors . . . In the fourth paragraph, the sentence reads:

The flowers which Daddy planted each spring.

This partial sentence needs to be part of the prior sentence with a comma added between the two. Alternately, it could be trailed off with an ellipsis.

In the sixth paragraph, your sentence uses had become for something which happened in the past.

He had become fast friends with both Claudie and herself.

Become is present or future tense, became is used for the past tense.

Overall, the story was beautiful, emotional and a pleasure to read. Great writing . . .

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Regards, jackson


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Review of A Safe Bet  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)


Happy WdC account anniversary!
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Hello WriterGirl88,
A Safe Bet, is a pretty good story. Evie's mother dies. Later, Evie confronts a man prowling in her basement.

Plot

You developed a good plot for this story.

A trespasser is in Evie's basement, looking for hidden money. And it's someone from Evie's past . . . Evie does not show it, but she's scared.

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Story resolution

The final section of the story presents us with the man grabbing Evie's arm and telling her she is going to help him find what he's looking for. There is no real resolution to the story.

Does Evie escape? Do they find the money?


Punctuation

In the paragraph directly above the final paragraph, you write: That night, her father had come home early . . . The wording should be: That night, her father had came home early . . .

The word come, is present and future tense, came is simple past tense.

In the second paragraph above the final one, One night they needs a comma between One night and they.

I hope my suggestions are of use in your writing. Keep on writing!

Regards, jackson

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Review of the fog  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 18+ | (4.0)


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Hello quiet web,

It's your WdC account anniversary this month, have a happy . . .

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It's a good story, but it has some punctuation issues. The suggestions below are meant to be helpful to a fellow writer.

Punctuation

In the second sentence: capitalize the first word of the sentence, he. Add a comma before the word but, it connects two independent clauses.

You need to go through the whole story and capitalize the first word of each sentence.

Word spacing

In the second paragraph a separating space needs to come between these two words, look and brushing.

Comma use

When writing, if you have an action in the sentence, and after completing the action, you continue the sentence with a pronoun, such as he, she or they, you need a comma before the pronoun, because the sentence has taken an abrupt turn to another subject.

Story content

The plot is excellent. The word flow and cohesiveness are fine. It's an exciting story.

Keep on writing!

Regards, jackson
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Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)


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Hello S,

From Read and Review, I found this item. I'll say just a few quick words about it.

Comments

To me, it sounds like poetry. By this, I mean it has a little melody trickling along behind the words. Sorrow is well described by these words of yours. Good writing . . . for word content, it's a five, with good thoughts and good sentiments

Suggestions

#1 The first two sentences need to be combined by adding a comma after you, instead of a period, because the second sentence is a phrase, not a complete sentence.

Like this: I never understood the feeling of falling so deeply in love it breaks you, love that left you feeling empty, grasping for bits of affection from anyone who looked your way.

#2 The first word of the third sentence Till needs to be deleted. With (till) as the beginning word, it's not a complete sentence. If you use (till), something needs to come before it, an introductory phrase. Alternately, you could just delete (till).

Your sentence:
Till one day you find that single person who makes you feel like the most amazing person in the world.

My suggestion: One day you find that single person who makes you feel like the most amazing person in the world.

#3 The next sentences which complete the story, need to have introductory words before they begin. You need to delete the three periods and replace them with commas.

Sort of like this:
My memories are of the preceding are four introductory words, without them, your
sentences aren't complete sentences spending sweet moments together, of running to the old vodka bottle left on the kitchen table, in hopes that once the bottle was finished, my dazed glaze would see just a quick blurry figure of you . . .

#5 The title needs to be capitalized, in this case, all four words.

I hope this helps, keep on writing!
Regards, jackson
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Review of Keep me safe  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)


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Hello NurseWriter,
. . . another anniversary review for you. Have a good day. Your story, Keep Me Safe, tells us of a woman with dementia. It's a scary thought to have this happen to you.

I had recently undergone chemotherapy, I was asking my daughter to say hi, and tell my grandchildren of my love, but their names would not come to me. I had to resort to calling them, the kids. Of course, this was because of the chemicals destroying brain cells along with the lymphoma. I was scared.

Content of the story

In your story, you tell us just how scary it is to not rememember, to not know your own face, to not know your little girl has gone to heaven. It's a sad story, but wonderfully told. You tell us of the pain one might suffer from having no memories beyond the present moment, of time spent with loved ones, but of having no recollection of the joy you had, and you tell us of the sorrow which lives in the heart, permeating it, of one who suffers this horrifying afflction.

This is a wonderful story, NurseWriter, more, more, more!

Regards, jackson

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Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)



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Hello NurseWriter,
May the moon shine on your heart tonight and tell you of all her secrets. The Last Saddened Moon is a lovely piece of writing. By the way, happy WdC account anniversary.

Concept

The last saddened moon . . . a beautiful concept, and in the lines, you reveal the inner feelings of the moon. You show us her lonely shadow cast upon the ground.

Read aloud quality

I read this slowly to savor each word. The lines stretch between the moon and I, giving us both enlightenment. It's excellent.
No sort of errors lie in the shadow of this moon's heart, nor in this item.

Regards, jackson

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Review of Scarecrow  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)


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It's the anniversary month of your becoming a member of WdC. May a good day come your way.

Hello R. Danielson,

Scarecrow, is a good story.

My interpretation

A scarecrow, after languishing in anonymity for some time, becomes one of the living. Its immediate desire is to extract its revenge on its creator. No thought of thankfulness can be found in its heart; a hatred has taken up permanent residence within the sack of ground wheat straw which serves as its heart. A self-perceived notion that its creator created it with malice overwhelms its mind, until at the last, it kills its creator.

Punctuation issues

In the second paragraph, the semicolon after the word life should be a comma, because the words which come after the semicolon, a feeling shared by the scarecrow as the icy cold penetrated his lungs are not an independent clause. Semicolons join two independent clauses, two clauses which could stand alone as a sentence. The remainder of the puctuation is done well.

Last thoughts

The structure of the story has paragraphs appropriate for a short story, and each sentence complements the next one. The word flow is excellent. A good story . . .

Regards, jackson
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Review of Forgive me  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)



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Happy account anniversary!


Hi David Khamisi,
I don't usually review poetry, not writing any myself, except for a free verse here and there. Sometimes, a poem comes along which I know something about, this is one of those times.

My comments

Some of the things I know about are: I know about feelings from the heart, how they can break into little pieces, each one crying. I know about despair, about the upside down feeling which visits us when despair twists the doorknob of our hearts. I know about love . . .

Not in the same words, but your verse, Forgive Me has depicted admirably each of these feelings.

Sometimes, after we have left the one our heart beats for, another feeling twists the dispair residing in our hearts . . . a longing to return which the mind thinks of. But our heart is in control, there will be no returning.

Each of these things came into my mind as I read your verse. Great writing.

I noted no errors in grammar. punctuation or spelling. Neither do I offer any suggestions.

Regards, jackson

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Review of A Dead Goat  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)


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Another anniversary review

          Old White Cat,

One time, I spent two days looking for a goat, a nanny goat, she was. I found her, but that's another story. Hey, I like the title, A Dead Goat. Straighforeward, no guessing what the story is about. So, you come across this dead goat, right in front of your house; your mind runs over, filled with the whys, hows, whos and various other thoughts as to why you were singled out to be gifted with a dead goat. I was wondering that myself, and I wasn't even there. You follow drag marks to the road in front of your house, so you know the goat didn't come to your house by itself.

The story expresses your feelings about this goat, and what you should do about it, along with the other feelings I mentioned above. You finally arrive at a decision as to what action you will take; you jump in your car and drive toward where you think the culprit might be . . . Great writing, Old White Cat.

For the story content, the way it was told, and knowing it is not finished, my rating of A Dead Goat is a five.

Punctuation, plot and spelling

No errors were noticed.

Regards,
jackson

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Review of 1956  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)


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Happy WdC account anniversary!


         Hi Old White Cat,

What I like

The way you told the story using everyday, what I call, downhome language. Reminds me of another lifetime . . .

I like the contents of the story, The story expounds on the
everyday life of a youngster in 1956, telling us some of their trials and some of their tribulations. Great story . . .

Punctuation

No errors noted.

Flow and Presentation

From start to finish, a conversational flow exists in your story; it's easy to read and interesting. The structure of your story is sound, like a building built on a good foundation. The font is just right. Paragraphs with spaces in between them stare at you as you are reading.

My takeaways . . .

Overall, a good job with the presentation, the story content, the punctuation, the grammar and all details of a short story.

Regards, jackson

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Review of Mother Metropolis  Open in new Window.
Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)


         Hello DJ Burnett,

I see it's the anniversary this month of the month you joined WdC. My well wishes . . .

Mother Metropolis. I've just read a heck of a story . . . Your metapors shine, DJ Burnett.

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The story is about a young man who lives on, and in the streets of an unnamed city . . . Dogboy. Dogboy is ruthless in his will to survive. He roams the streets of the city, neither giving, nor expecting pity, and dealing out harm to bystanders, as he makes his way through the days and nights of his life.

The city herself, in my mind, is a major character of this tale. Your descriptions of her, and her attributes, make this story great. Your portrayal of Dogboy . . . excellent!

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I have a few suggestions to enhance your story, they are only that, suggestions.

Punctuation

In the first paragraph, the summer sun aint takin gno ... should be, the summer sun aint taking no . . .

In paragraph six, lookin gup should be, looking up.

My favorite sentence is: The ancient structure devours him, but he is not afraid, its belly is dry and comfortable.

My favorite section of the story is the final paragraph. Here, we see the city weep for Dogboy as he lies sleeping. It's a great story, churn out some more.

Regards,
jackson
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Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)


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Introduction of Reviewer


You are being reviewed by jackson. Any suggestions I may make, are to encourage you to become a better writer, not to criticize your writing. In my opinion, a writer's words are some of the best things to hear in this life.

Hi Aly,
I see it is the anniversary of your becoming a member of Writing.Com. I wish for you, a happy account anniversary.



Your idea to create this interactive story was a good one, and highly commendable. I am sure a lot of time has been expended on it. Good work.

As I scrolled through the item, I noticed the punctuation needs a little work in order to be a good presentation. Beginning at the top of the item, I will list my suggestions for improvement.

My suggestions:


The title: the kidnapped transformation.

Each word of your title, in this case, should be capitalized.

First sentences, or introduction as written by you:

your name is Roger James. you are a very poor man who has lost his job at a secret government facility, who has since made you unemployable. you cannot get a job but what they don't know is that you took with you the knowledge of their last experiment. the mine swapping potion. and now after careful searching you found a life worth stealing but who is it. you found five subjects. and kidnapped them all. tied up in your large apartment which you will be evicted from next month.

My suggested improvements:


Your name is Roger James. You are a very poor man, who has lost his job at a secret government facility, which has since, made you unemployable. You cannot get a job. But, what they don't know, is that you took with you the details of their latest experiment, the mind swapping potion. Now, after searching carefully, you have found a life worth stealing. But, whose life is it? You found five people and kidnapped every one of them. They are tied up in your large apartment . . .


A summary of the above suggestions: Listed in the order in which they appear, beginning with the first sentence.

#1 Capitalize your, it's the first word of a sentence.

#2 Capitalize you, it's the first word of the next sentence.

#3 Capitalize you in the next sentence, because it's the first word, and add a comma before but, because it joins two independent clauses.

#4 In the same sentence, change the period after experiment to a comma, because the following words: the mine swapping potion. are not a complete sentence. Adding a comma after experiment, and continuing with the mine swapping potion makes it a complete sentence.

#5 The rest of the suggestions are self-explanatory . . .


These are only suggestions, I hope they will enhance your writing. Keep on writing . . .

Kind regards, jackson.

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Review by jackson Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)


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         This review is meant to be encouraging, but at the same time to take notice of ways the item might be improved. Errors in punctuation, or any sort of errors, are not the heart of an item, the words contained within the item are its heartbeat. Your item contains good words, the breathing of the heart . . . Any suggestions I make are meant to be positive and encouraging. A few words can convey a deep meaning, and yours have done so.


         Hello m00n90,
Your Writing.Com account anniversary is this month, happy anniversary.

My suggestions for improvement:



The title:

Your sad is not special

My suggestion: Your Sadness is Not Special

The reason for my suggestion:

In this case the word Your is denoting that sad belongs to an unnamed person. For example, a person could say: (your sad face) because there is a noun after (sad). Sad is an adjective, in your title there is no noun for it to describe, or modify. By using sadness which is a noun, the sentence is complete.

First line: Your sad is not special.

My suggestion: Your sadness is not special.

Conclusion:


It's a good thought, our sadness is not special; we are only one of millions.

Keep on writing, be happy . . .

Regards, jackson
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