\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://webx1.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/linnann/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/8
Review Requests: OFF
1,860 Public Reviews Given
1,860 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 4 5 6 7 -8- 9 10 11 12 13 ... Next
176
176
Rated: E | (5.0)
If ti weren't NANOWRIMO, I'd be reviewing a lot more. But I always love the pictures. Tahnks so much for all your photos.
177
177
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
The rhythm seemed a bit off and didn't flow smoothly. If the verses were separated by blank lines it would be easier to read and feel the movement.

The second line feels like it would work, "loved by all.'

The 'eyes of coal' also seems too long and the coal would be the pupils, not bruised. Just the thought of a reader.

'No more would he have to pace.' Doesn't seem to fit, since you told us he has no legs. Just an observation.

It is a cute poem, thanks for sharing.
love, LinnAnn

A signature gifted to me recently
178
178
Review of Snow day  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I suggest maybe putting a blank line in between verses. It would make it easier to read and comment on.

I love the 'dorky friend Jed' lol I was wondering if you knew what a dork was? If not find a dictionary. I use that word too, but once someone told me what it meant, it now causes me to laugh.

I laughed at the last two lines. You are clever.

Your rhyme and rhythm were spot on and it read easy and smoothly.

Thanks so much for sharing.
love, LinnAnn
A new Simply Positive Reviewers Group Signature.
179
179
Review of Warm in the Snow  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your first line is in bold, but I don't know if it's the title or the first line. If both, you may want to leave it bold but put a double space between it and the actual poem. Then put it in again as the first line.

The poem itself is a delightful mental picture of two friends building the snowman. The last two lines is so sweet. I'd never thought of the fun of putting a snowman together quite like that,
Thanks for sharing.
love, LinnAnn
A new Simply Positive Reviewers Group Signature.
180
180
Review of Winter's Foe  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really enjoyed most of this. I loved the second line, I love snow. We rarely get it. Your third line I absolutely love!

I'm not too keen on the last line of that verse. Exhaust makes me think of smoggy LA.

First line of second verse makes me think of rain, not just covering the sun.

What do you mean by 'blustered slide'? I love the last line for that verse. Great mental picture.

Third verse is a great transition verse for spring. I love the last verse a lot. "Awakened spring bursts into bloom.'

All in all, a great poem.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Love, LinnAnn
A new Simply Positive Reviewers Group Signature.
181
181
Review of Silent Witness  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
What a combination of wretched grief and remorse. You really pulled me in and held my attention. Over and over with the 'hang my head and weep' you punched a hole in my heart.

You made it sound so real, and so devastating. I will have to go read something perky to restore my mood. You really did get to me.
Thanks for sharing...even though it was so sad.
love, LinnAnn
A signature gifted to me recently
182
182
Review of Time's Deceit  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
That is something amazing the picture you put in with the poem. Your poem was really thought provoking. The style was great, easy to read, rhythm was easy and cadence worked great.

Your first word really set the stage, and the last line really said it all. Age does creep up on us, and it seems so quickly too.

Thanks so much for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn
A signature gifted to me recently
183
183
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
just a thought, but I'd take out 'the' in the second line.
I'd put a ' in front of round since you're taking out the a in front.
I'd take out the 'flying' in flying bat, it's already clean

'until the time to go' you could leave off 'the'

I really enjoyed your poem! What a fun piece of work. You caught and held my attention very well. The Warlocks wine, was funny. I'll have to borrow that for my punch if I have a party this year.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Love, LinnAnn
A new Simply Positive Reviewers Group Signature.
184
184
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I loved it. Your poem gave me a warm feeling and reminded me when I used to teach water color to a 6th grade class on Fridays so the teacher could have prep time.

It is rewarding to wake a mind and to instill a love of anything new.

You might want to think about the form. It would have been easier to read the rhythm.

I love your last line the best. lol I'd have put 'teach' in instead of preach, just because some people get really negative about that word.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn
A signature gifted to me recently
185
185
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I realize you had to use certain words and you used them very well. The usage was very effective. Startling but effective. lol

The sad part is, our world is more full of ignorance than ever in the last fifty years.

I loved your 'crushing weight of adulthood'

I hope you do someday get that dead faced boy, or girl, to come up and thank you. I have maintained contact with one student, who works at WalMart. It's nice to be appreciated and see your hard work pay off in someone.
Thanks for sharing your heartfelt poem.
love, LinnAnn
A signature gifted to me recently

186
186
Review of My new students  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Okay, you can't leave me hanging...what quirky thing did you learn about yourself?

I was a teacher, so I can identify with your nerves. Were you an English as a Second Language teacher? I was with Spanish and the Croatians.

I'm not sure how the silence was corrosive.

You had good rhythm and I didn't have to say any of the lines twice to make them fit! lol

You gave good imagery and a good feel of your emotions and the students as well.
Thanks for the walk down memory lane.
Thanks for sharing with us.
love, LinnAnn

A signature gifted to me recently
187
187
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Loved the line in the fourth verse about 'a boy contrary'.

Dog gone it. You made me cry when you told of Willy crying. So obviously you drew me in and held my attention.

'as if in a fetter'...I'll have to look that one up when I get home. lol

I'm at the library, and you are making me cry my head off.

I used to be a teacher. I have one student that has kept in touch.
Thank you for sharing this poem with me.
love, LinnAnn

A signature gifted to me recently
188
188
Review of The Storm  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Oh my goodness. I am sitting here stunned. lol What horrible event inspired this all too impacting poem? Seriously, you were either in the depths of depression or wanted to inflict pain on someone?

This was well done. You drew me in, made my chest tighten and held my attention. What a dreadful, but well written poem. lol
thanks? for sharing. lol
Love, LinnAnn
A signature gifted to me recently
189
189
Review of Darkness Falls  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I just couldn't get the rhythm or cadence of the verses. I counted the syllables to make sure it wasn't just me. Maybe it's a style I'm not used to?

It took me till the end to 'get it' lol At first I just couldn't figure out the thing that was having a 'rebirth' and pushing up out of the ground. The last verse got through to my brain.

Very interesting way to tell of the ghosts and the building. Thanks for sharing.

Love, LinnAnn
A signature gifted to me recently
190
190
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
What a lovely picture. I'm not crazy about desert, you know that, but this is cool. Good depth showing in the color changes as the eye is pulled forward.

Good movement with the river. I also like the different plants, and the long spindly ones, add good texture. The red rock in forefront is also good contrast.
Thanks for sharing.
love, LinnAnn
A signature gifted to me recently
191
191
Review of Two Family Haiku  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Your first haiku gave me great imagery. That is the kind of 'grandma' mental picture I like. lol Is this based on your grandmothers home?

Your second Haiku got me to chuckling. You ask 'Where am I from now?' and I saw the date was ten years ago. So yes, where are you now? I'd love an answer.

Thanks so much for sharing.
love, LinnAnn

A signature gifted to me recently
192
192
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
What a happy way to spend with the family. Such joy in this poem. Good imagery too. It's nice to have happy and joyous poems here.

You did a good job in moving the 'Festival of lights, Good triumps' throughout the poem and keeping the format.

I like the second to last line. I give treats to neighbors and those that help me as a way of saying thank you.
Thanks for sharing.
love, LinnAnn
Reviewing image for SAJ and SP
193
193
Review of I'm Older!  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
It means you get to get arthritis first while little sis gets to still climb mountains, surf and all sorts of fun stuff. lol

Cute poem as far as it goes. roflol I think Mother should have mentioned some of those things big sister didn't think of. Sorry, I'm cracking up here just thinking about it...First to get wrinkles!

Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed the laugh.
love, LinnAnn
A new Simply Positive Reviewers Group Signature.
194
194
Review of Building Castles  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is the third time I've tried to write this. It keeps disappearing. I keep hitting the wrong key or something.

I love the poem. You did great with the imagery, the clouds, you even named the type of cloud! The storyline goes through time, love that.

I love the great detail in describing the sounds, even smells of the beach.

Thanks so much for sharing.
love, LinnAnn

A new Simply Positive Reviewers Group Signature.
195
195
Review of THE DREAM  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
What a funny and cute poem. lol I'm cracking up. The only suggestion I might make is to take out the one word "I'll" from the "I'll hear the vacuum concerto" from the tenth line. If this follows some special form, then forget it. lol Just reading it, that line seemed like it had an extra word or beat.

I love the last two lines. That sounds so familiar. Thanks for sharing.
love, LinnAnn

A new Simply Positive Reviewers Group Signature.
196
196
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem is very nicely done. Each verse taking a different place and a different part of nature and exploring the intricacies of each.

I like that you mention the places, Minnesota, Mississippi, the Pacific ocean and New England. I'm wondering if you actually went to these places.

Thanks for the lovely imagery.
love, LinnAnn

A new Simply Positive Reviewers Group Signature.
197
197
Review of In My Sleep  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow. You stuck to the syllable format very well. I'm impressed. lol I don't know if I've seen this style before.

I like how each of your 10 syllable lines rhyme. Your poem touched my heart, thinking about the tenderness with which the adult child remembers her mother. Mom will probably hover even through the next generation. Stories mom tells the children will keep the then grandmother alive for another generation.
Thanks for sharing.
love, LinnAnn

A new Simply Positive Reviewers Group Signature.
198
198
Review of Please stay  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I read this and had multiple mental images flash through my mind. At first I'm seeing two teenagers in the back of a truck watching the night sky, looking for falling stars.

Then I saw two kids strolling down a well lit street.

You did well to give me mental images, to pull me in.

You have 'see' and 'seen' at the end of two lines, right after each other. I would suggest possibly changing the seen. Just a thought.

The ridiculous shoes made me wonder if it was a male or female that had them, careful there. ha ha ha

Tomorrow didn't sound at all difficult.
Thanks for sharing.
love, LinnAnn

A new Simply Positive Reviewers Group Signature.
199
199
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I have to admit I was so confused by this poem. I read the title again but it did not enlighten me as to what you were writing about.

I thought at first it was an invalid in a bed, stuck and wounded. Full of despair.

Then maybe it was a person in a mental facility.

Then I thought it was person in a prison cell. You left it wide open to anyone's interpretation so it could appeal to a wide audience.

Thanks for sharing this with us.
Love, LinnAnn

A signature gifted to me recently
200
200
Review of The Windmill  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
In your first verse, your last line is separate from the rest, but in the other verses it's included with the verse. I thought it was cool separated; it made it stand out and have more impact. Then you have some verses that don't have that last line. It threw me off, as a reader.

You have some verses longer than others, so I wasn't sure if they got accidently put together or what.

'tasting still the bitter swill' isn't divided by a comma like the others. Just an observation.

Well, that was an interesting read! You left me hanging a bit. Who rescued him, who cares for him in his broken state....don't mind me, I'm a mother/grandmother...we think like that! lol

Thanks for the time and effort you put into this and for sharing it with us.

A signature gifted to me recently

813 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 33 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://webx1.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/linnann/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/8