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1,860 Public Reviews Given
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Public Reviews
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76
76
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
These are all very lovely. However it's late, so I don't know if I'll get through them all. I did read them all so I will try.

The first is missing a syllable in the first line. However the 'in pearls' is so lovely.

Number two, made me laugh at the last line. You set me up for a summer memory and it did hit home.

Number three, made me ask what country this person is sleeping in, and the last line made me fill with sorrow at their misery.

Number seven, makes me wonder if this is a person looking out a church window. I don't know any drear hymns. I do have children that would rather be outside when they were young. lol

Number eight, I am familiar with being warm in bed while a storm rages outside.Those branches would be my apple tree, scraping it's branches outside my bedroom window.

Number nine, I didn't understand SNAPa. I thought a mouse might enter and not suffer in the cold, but didn't understand the SNAP.

Number ten, Such a peaceful, cozy mental image. I don't know if we have wolves near my house, but we do have cougars. I think they would find deer, raccoons or opossums.

I did not understand number eleven. Something about death?

Number twelve. This reminds me of Mrs. Berner. She carefully tended her garden and all of her flowers.She tended her neighbors yards when we were invaded by moles. Then she was gone. The rose bush left, forgotten and unloved.

Thank you so much for lovely images. I think I only skipped two. I am old and have worked very hard this week so my brain is shutting down. Thank you for all of your effort and sharing your wonderful poetry.
love, LinnAnn

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77
77
Review of Bird of Prey  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Are you deliberately mixing the different forms? I counted the syllables and they aren't matching up. The first line in the first poem has 4 syllables, the first line in the second poem has 5 and the first line in the third poem only has 3 syllables. The second line on all three match and two of the last lines match.

If you can explain the styles and why you put in the variety, Maybe I can change my rate score.

The story is good. The 'miss' maybe could be past tense. lol Poor Hawk.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn

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78
78
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I haven't seen this type of Haiku. It was interesting reading the extra lines. I have to ask, is 'woken' a real word? Okay, I had to google it. lol It is a real word. and awaken, which I've used and many others use, is not a real word. You have inspired me to increase my knowledge. Thanks a bunch.I'll have to remember that. Your poem matched the weather here this morning. Your poem matched my morning to a T. Love it.
love, LinnAnn

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79
79
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Katraya:

I found this article very interesting. You obviously put this plan into action for a very long time. I could have used some of these instructions a few decades ago when i was growing up.

I would have liked a few 'for instance's. I am asixty five and still learning how to be 'normal'.

It was good to put in the evil way or hurtful ways it could be used and hopefully no one who reads it will choose those ways.

I did like the way you gave examples of how you used this knowledge to help you become a better friend. Good job!

Thanks for taking the time to write and share this. Was it for a psych class? Just wondering.
love, LinnAnn

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80
80
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I have a hand in a cast, and my keyboard is so old I cant see the letters, pardon typos.

I loved the imagery and emotion in your poem. Have you thought of breaking your sentences into smaller lines?

Take me back to the oaks
that sway in the breeze,
with the wind in our hair
and the sunset tease.

Shorter lines make it look more like a poem. This is just a suggestion.

You have a typo-filled our minds-is what you wanted I believe.

Was this written for your child? It's such a happy poem.

Being part Irish, I love the 'o that you use. lol
Thanks so much for sharing this with us.

love, LinnAnn

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81
81
Review of All Hallows' Eve  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I saw your posting a few days ago saying you were going to write a poem. Pardon typos, typing with a brace on my hand. this is hard, sorry.

The tempo was a bit out of whack. I didn't count measures just said the poem. Other than that it s pretty good. *Laugh*

You got and held my attention and the poem was perfect for the season. You're second verse reminded me of night before Christmas. was that intentional? lol
I don't read scary things and for you this must be very mild. me, My heart was racing and I was in bed way ahead of you.
Thanks for sharing
love, LinnAnn

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82
82
Review of Dawn  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
That is a lovely poem. It has good imagery. Where I live, on a harbor and outside of a rain forest, there is not much in the 'light shines all around'. lol However, the rain quit and the sun is shining as I read your poem. It fit quite nicely.

I was wondering, what were you doing or thinking about that caused you to write this poem? It's simply stated as Haiku's are, and very well done.
I'll toss you and apple off my tree so you can eat while you ponder your next masterpiece. lol
Thanks for sharing it, like I said, perfect timing with the sun in our area.
love, LinnAnn

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83
83
Review of Charcoal  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
That charcoal sure does make a lot of black dust. lol I haven't worked with it for years but I do remember it very well. I like your 'realism in a smear'.

I didn't quite understand the first line of the next verse. I'm thinking the 'fire' is referring to the charcoal and being able to use it? 'Blacken beast's bone' was very interesting.

The 'do it right' repetition was right on! Then when you are out of school, it's 'do it how I want'. lol

I guess you don't like the noise. lol I'm type A and need the noise. lol I'm glad you decided to put poetry in with your art, you are right it is art
Thanks for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn

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84
84
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
It's been 80-90F for the last two days and then I read this poem about winter. ahhh. I could use some of the rain you mention. I live outside rain forest and when we go without rain for so long, I worry about it.

Your poem gave me a few minutes of reflective coolness. lol We don't get much in the way of sleet and snow, so I wonder where you are at that you do!

It took me a bit to realize the yellow and red were leaves. Ours haven't turned yet, still summer. I like the silence part too. but then you say 'alas' and I wondered why? Your snow must be much heavier and lasting longer than ours. lol
Thanks for sharing this with us. I did enjoy it, as the fan blows to try and cool me down.
love, LinnAnn

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85
85
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
When I read the 'winners kiss' I wondered who would be kissing you? Wife in appreciation? Or the winning of a contest here?

Writing from the heart is usually the best. People can fell the extra emotion when it's from the heart. Otherwise, it can sound and feel a bit flat. I think you do quite well.

As for grinding until your blue??? I would hope not. We should be supportive in our corrections and advice. Not destroy your hope and aspirations. We're supposed to encourage and uplift each other. I bet you don't destroy other writers when you do reviews.

I loved your poem. And to think it was your first one here. I'm impressed.
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86
86
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a very sad poem, and I can empathize with you and all those in California that lost their homes.

I think in your first verse that the word 'lost' might be 'loss'. Just a thought. That is one humongous word in the last line of that verse. You will educate some people with that one.

I wasn't quite sure what you meant about the 'bullet proof' of our lives.

I like the comment about 'state burial'. Very profound. Very deep.

You used very strong words, assassinate as an example. I do think they give the deep feeling in your poem. Good for you.

Your last verse is also potent and very heart felt.
Thanks for sharing with us.
love, LinnAnn
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87
87
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I know it's picky, lol but it should be hard cooked egg. We should never boil them. makes the yokes green. *Laugh*

I enjoyed your little story. It was quite cute and you did such a good job putting in the emotion of parting. I am impressed.

You did well with the little things that made it so real, hands on hips, holding face, hands in hair. Good touches to make it real.

Just as I was getting depressed with the ending, and the heartbreak, you pulled a happy ending out of the bag and made me smile. I like the way you slowly wound your way to bring in the kittens and working out how the wife would join him.

I thought it interesting you spelled her name Bee instead of Bea.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Love, LinnAnn
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88
88
Review of Cloudstepper  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Garlic Tonic huh? Cute name. I happen to love garlic.
I really liked this poem. I love to look at clouds and see the shapes they make as they glide across the sky.

The only suggestion I have to to have the one ending sentence that ends in sky stay the same. However, maybe the next sentence, the first in the next stanza, could not end in sky? Just a thought. I have a tendency to use a word frequently and am fortunate when someone points it out to me so I can change it. That isn't the same as only using it twice in two lines. lol

I loved, 'frolicking in fair weather'. Oooh, it came off the tongue so nicely.

Thank you so much for sharing.
love, LinnAnn
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89
89
Review of Unread  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was so heartbreaking. It brought to my memory of a time when I had letters tied with a ribbon. The man I married found them and started to read them. I felt so violated. They were private.
I can see the man laying in bed on a dark, silent night, wondering if she still cares. I am very tender hearted and this really touched me. You captured my attention and held it.

Seriously, this broke my heart. You kept the pattern of each verse, I just really love rhyming poetry. This was again, very emotional and heart breaking. Thanks so much for sharing it with us.
love, LinnAnn
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90
90
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Okay, this was amusing, especially with the line from Puppy Tails, but when you got to 'Yes, yes my precious' I cracked up laughing. Yes, right here in the library. Then I started to choke. I'm fine, now back to the story.
I had the librarian look up alembic for me. Got the picture, from Arabic.
You fit a lot in those parenthesis, including a duck and a bra? *Rolling*

The duck released a startled QUACK and opened his wings to take off, but the jumpy scientist was too fast; in a flash, he had one fist around the net, having trapped the squirming, flapping duck.---Since this is action, you might want to consider breaking it into three sentences. just a thought.

Where'd the shadow come from. Is it in the glass container? You lost me there.
You gave a great twist to the ending, back and forward all in the same few seconds. Amazing. I'm still grinning.
Thanks for sharing.
love, LinnAnn
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91
91
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
That was cute, just plain cute. I wonder if you'd be able to make it rhyme? It just felt like it should. That could just be me, but it seemed to have that sort of flavor.

I loved the fact that you started out with it being old and forgotten, lost in an old attic, bringing out the history of the box and a peek into it's past. It seems it felt alone and forgotten.

Then you bring in a new family and the history is all new and enjoyed by a new generation. That is just perfect symmetry, at least to me. I have to admit, the last line just made me smile big, big time. lol Always back in time for dinner. Good thing, or mom might worry.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn
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92
92
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Your third verse has too many syllables in the first line. It has seven where most have five. If you said 'I'm instead of 'I am' it would be a bit smoother. It's just a suggestion.

There are many spots where the fluidity is off because the line may have too many syllables. You might want to go through the poem and work on it some more.

This is a lovely poem, filled with such tenderness. It deserves to be smoothed out.

Verse six...try 'You've become' and take out 'now'. It flows better.

You put such tenderness into this poem. I love it. Let me know if you rework it some and I may be able to give a better rating. It is worth the effort.
Thanks for sharing it with us. Really.
love, LinnAnn
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93
93
Review of WILDFLOWERS!  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This is an incredible poem. I love the thoughtful reflection throughout and yes, we often make things more difficult by not saying what we should have. There are rhyming spots every now and then and then I expect them all to rhyme. silly me.
I have a tendency to pause at the end of the line, even if there is no period or comma. So some of the lines sort of threw me because they curved around to the next line to finish.
I think I love the last verse the best because it has some rhyming, repetition, my love, and it's a sweet ending.
I had a love like that once, but he died, so no second chance.
Thanks so much for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn

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94
94
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Okay, face palm and groan over that one. You did keep the rhythm and rhyming with this poem. It definitely had good imagery. On the other hand I didn't need the imagery of a short, possibly stout man whizzing in an old, grayish, unwashed toilet bowl.

I would take out the word 'that' on the second verse, second line. It had a better 'sing song' effect with out the extra word. "and hoped a restroom was near," just seemed to come off the tongue better. It is after all just my opinion, take it or leave it. It does have eight syllables like the second line in the first verse, so either fits okay.
Thanks for sharing.
love, LinnAnn
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95
95
Review of Our Escape  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello again. I have absolutely nothing to suggest for this poem!!!

I love it. You have such a way of pulling great mental images from my head! You epitomize 'cozy' with the 'little' house.
'Charging' is a great word for getting the meaning of the outside world. 'Asylum and hectic' fit beautifully. You did great to leave out the 'rat' from the race.

Your third verse is wonderful in again showing the real self home can bring out. Who wants 'sterner stuff' in your cozy world. Nicely done.

You really do show the difference in the 'outer' world and the 'inner' sanctum. I really like your work.
Thanks for sharing this as well.
love, LinnAnn
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96
96
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
wow. Not sure if I understood it as you wrote it. Sometimes that happens when the reader gets a different message than the writer intended, but this was so sad. It seriously is breaking my heart.

I like the way you use the armor to show the virginal side of someone who falls in love, and then also at the end showing the armor dented, and dull.

I did not quite get the last two lines. 'his duties being done, still unsung.' What were his duties that didn't get done and what did you mean about the hero 'still unsung'?

Thanks so much for sharing.
love, LinnAnn
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97
Review of Shooting Stars  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
In line one do you mean 'I was startled'?
You do well in keeping the rhyming pattern all the way through.
I do have one question. Did you work on the meter, they flow of your piece? Is there a pattern that I don't know about?
I want to encourage you and have you keep writing. Are you open to suggestions?

If you count all of the syllables in the first lines and see how they don't match up, then maybe you can understand what I'm meaning. Count the syllables in the first line of the first verse-sixteen, and then count them in the first line of the last verse-six.

It could be good practice to try to make the lines match up so it flows better.

I do like the story within the poem. Thanks for sharing it with us.
love, LinnAnn

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98
98
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Being former Nat'l Guard, I was interested in your poem. At first I thought it would be at the grave of the unknown soldier, but I never considered that a valley and I don't remember lily's. Then I thought maybe it was at a former war or battle place. So where is this poem setting at?

You mention the memories he still has of the battles, and then say the bridge of time is mended. sigh. Are they ever totally mended? So many vets out in the cold and homeless because the haunting still goes on for so many. You say we must never forget. That is so true and some cannot forget. I say,let the ones that declare war be on the front lines.

Well done! Thanks for sharing.If you've ever been in war, then prayers for your safe return mentally and emotionally too.
love, LinnAnn

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99
Review of The Qwirn  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I had a bit of a problem with the rhythm. I'm reading through it again. Counting syllables and all. Just trying to figure it out. Is the 2nd verse supposed to be the same flow as the first?

The third line in both the first and second verses do not have the same amount of syllables. Same with the 4th lines.
I'm not trying to be picky but it does throw me out of the poem when it doesn't flow quite right.

You do rhyme well and consistently. You use descriptive words well and I got a great mental image, if a Qwirn is a dragon. lol

Okay, it was lovely, but I guess I was too dense to figure out what a Qwirn is. lol Are they dragons as you name them at the bottom?

Thanks so much for sharing and I love dragons.

Love, LinnAnn

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100
for entry "Plantation Florida" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I know it was a terrible trip. I know you were frustrated. I'm sorry you missed your connecting flight. HOWEVER, you told that story so well I couldn't help cracking up out loud, at the library. I even told one of the mail librarians, Chris about your piece/trip. He was laughing too.

I like how you explain where Plantation is- helped to set the stage. The telling about what you taught and the bit about finding cables and adapters built the tension for the big explosion of the mess in flying.

I'm still chuckling. Great detail, you let the frustration show perfectly, and you didn't even swear. *Rolling* I miss having internet and I miss reading your pieces often.

Thanks for sharing this. I loved it. Glad you got home safely.
love, LinnAnn

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