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Review of Magnolia  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
I'm not sure if the picture was part of the contest for you to write about or if you put it on for the contest, but I love it.

You did a great job, I loved every line. Each can stand alone, but each blends with the others to make a lovely whole.

I was going to pick out a couple that I liked better than others, but I couldn't. I really like them all. Thanks for sharing.

Love, LinnAnn

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Review of False Flowering  Open in new Window.
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I am amazed at how well you mixed the metaphors of flowers to describe a woman, and your feelings for her. Very nicely done. I love how you start with her seemingly so delicate-velvet voice of petal wings... yet you use words that say she is not in your last verse.

Such contradiction laid out so beautifully. Thanks for sharing.

love, LinnAnn

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I'm amazed at the pictures and movie clips you assembled to put your point across. I couldn't make out what the yellow things were on the piano keys and then blew it up. I chuckled, still grinning. I thought they were reminders of the notes, but you sure got your point across with those.

That was a lovely tree house too. I was not expecting a full bedroom up there. lol When the mom said it was for her 'artistic' daughter, I was expecting an art studio.

And you even threw in Credence Clearwater. (revivial?) lol

Thanks for the pep talk. I hope others enjoy it as much as I did.
love, LinnAnn
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

2. 'fun' -fun being the object, like a sack of flour, she can be full of fun. lol You did well, plus you made me laugh.
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3. I'm not sure 'funner' is a word, let me get my dictionary..................wow, funner is not in the dictionary BUT there are other words, weird with fun. 'Intr.v.funned, funning, funs' That is NOT cracking me up.--New College Edition, American Heritage.
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7. I've never heard of that type of example.
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I enjoyed your posting. But that guy with the Gatling gun...he looks like he's having too much fun, as in maniacal. However, it might be fun to try. I always wanted to shoot a Howitzer. lol

Thanks for sharing.
love, LinnAnn.
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This was so powerful and moving. Excellent imagery. Your writing broke my heart.

His miserable life and death was - should the 'was' be were? There are two things listed.

Some draped odd length,--I had to read this part a couple of times. would putting 'their odd length' work for you? As a reader, it would help me to stay in the story and not be pulled out.

When you mention the surgery and divisive laws...I think I would have liked another sentence or two about those laws. Help me to understand what laws prevent the children getting help.

'That murderous' I think you meant it to be another paragraph? I love your working there for the rest of the paragraph!

Do you know why newborns would have to go there? Why could they not stay with the parents? You have left me with questions unanswered. That is often the case in this type of writing. You did well to draw me in, and get me so involved that I have questions.

Your sarcastic ending threw me. Maybe if there were a clue it was coming? At first I thought you were serious.

As I said, very powerful and heartbreaking. Thanks for sharing.
love, LinnAnn

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
There was admittedly some interest just from the title. lol On a few spots I did reread since the meter and I didn't get along. lol But the count was always right on. It must have been me.

Must have been magic because it was all I could imagine with it turning the weight of a railroad spike, plus other stuff. lol

I couldn't figure out what the flashing lights were, but thought it fun they came alive.

I loved the ending, paid in full. However I do have a question...where did the eating utensils go? lol

Thanks for sharing with us.

love, LinnAnn

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I really did enjoy this newsletter. I guess you can keep sending them. lol I'm so just 'lack of oxygen' tired it's hard to get to the mail. You gave great advice, especially on the reviewing in a good mood.

There are mentally ill folks here, so finding a way to deal with them can be hard. I've worked with disabled, including mentally/emotionally for decades. It can be difficult and stressful. I didn't know I could block and hide. Thanks for the new information.

So if I can get newsletter without being in a group, great. Personally, I do dragons. lol This NaNoWriMo, it's dragons and Selkies. lol I put my family, friends and acquaintances in my novels and stories. Have fun with your stories.
love, LinnAnn

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Review of Skirts of Rain  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I have to say, I admire your ability to write this type/style of poetry. I have never even attempted it. The moving up the lines and still making sense. Good for you.

I enjoyed it, although I had to keep looking at the style and try and figure out how you did it. lol

Have a great weekend. Again, thanks for sharing.

love, LinnAnn

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I'd call this free style poetry, but then I am not a pro. lol

I enjoyed this. I've read several of the 'why I write' and each one, including this one, has made me smile. I really enjoy getting into the mood through each writer.

I'd say Beautiful Chaos is a wonderful title.

raindrops and musical rhythm-nice to go together.

sway and moan-love the moan

song of lament- also great

beauty as defined by me--love that feeling of power in creating your own words.

Thanks for sharing.
Merry Christmas
Love, LinnAnn

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Review of Why I Write  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
As I read your short story here, I was caught up in the drama, the sadness and the resolve to make something positive out of the tragedy. It was uplifting. I agree with the going home to family. It brings us a sense of wholeness.

I am also pleased that you finished your novel. Has it been published yet? I am very interested in how you did on that.

I am also very glad you did not go to drinking and drugs.

I only found one discrepancy, you said you had room to spare in your car when you left, and then later said it was full.

I also agree wholeheartedly that He does not send us more than we can handle.

Thanks for sharing this.
Merry Christmas

Love, LinnAnn
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed this poem! It's funny, I live right outside a rain forest, and not warm country. lol I almost never use an umbrella.

Your poem is so tender, reminding me of the romantic side of umbrella's. I don't think of them that way anymore, so thanks for the reminder.

I like the 'fella', cute and charming.

The way you used encore to rhyme is quite clever.

I like the 'bliss'. Thank you so much for sharing this poem with us.
love, LinnAnn
Merry Christmas

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Review of Beautiful Fool  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Well, aren't you the clever one, using all that mish mash of words to make a very interesting poem. Your poem title made me chuckle. Beautiful fool, first made me think of the fools in a kings court, all decorated up in bright colors. Then I read the poem. lol

Poetry is always subject to interpretation so mine changed several times. lol

Upon the brink....I was wondering what brink, of disaster, of falling in love, but the next verse nixed that. Through stubborn, I was still curious. You left me hanging. I never did find out what he was on the brink of. lol

Ripples- I just couldn't figure out the 'mirror'...does it stand for his countenance? His self reflection? You made me think and question. I guess you could figure that out with a review of over 700 words. lol

The last two verses I got! I love the way the last line ties in with the first, but the changes that happened to him.

Thanks for sharing a very interesting poem with us. Have a Merry Christmas.
love, LinnAnn

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a wonderful poem. It prompted good imagery and fond memories. I never had a fireplace, but it reminded me of outdoor fires.

Your Christmas star 'emits' threw me a tiny bit, I think of emitting as like a...beep or whistle, some sort of sound. That may just be a quirk of mine. lol feel free to throw out any suggestions. lol 'sends forth a gleam' or 'gives out a gleam'

your 'impatient children wanting more' follows the mistletoe. That made me think, 'Why would they want mistletoe' then I realized it was the candy. You might want to put a comma after 'more' and take the capital 'C' off the candy. Unless it is a separate thought entirely, then periods at the end would help to let the reader know that.

However, the sentence after 'chocolate coated' made it sound like the Candy is the beginning of the sentence of both lines'

I just thought a bit of punctuation would be helpful. I have many poems with no punctuation so I get it.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Love, LinnAnn

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I can't believer I only gave you a 4 star rating whenever it was that I read this and reviewed, and rated it.

Tonight it made me cry when I was reading. I didn't remember that I'd already read it, but it sure stirred my heart tonight.

Have you thought of submitting it to a magazine? in about 5-6 months they will be planning for next years Christmas magazine. I highly recommend you submit it.
love, LinnAnn

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
At first I thought this was going to be for a sweetheart. Then I got into the college etc. I think this is a great idea to write a poem for college friends.

I have to say, you left me with a question 'lived through only the beginning of early morning classes'. Does that mean you croaked half way through? Or does it mean you dropped the early morning classes?

I was wondering, how did you make college a better place?

Thank you for the smile and uplifting poem.
love, LinnAnn

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Your poem actually started out rhyming and in a few places it did again. It sort of threw me off because I kept expecting more rhyme. Pardon any typos, I have an injured finger.

I did enjoy the mental pictures you painted in my mind. I had never heard of a Junco before and you even put that bit of information down at the bottom. That was very thoughtful.

Thanks so much for sharing.
love, LinnAnn

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Review of New Mail  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
I had a bunch of review done and then 'this site has caused explorer to close' so lost the review I'd done. So here goes again.

I share your feelings about the spam. It's bad enough to have junk mail, but now they get us on both fronts.

You express your feelings very well about this.

Your rhyming is good and no old pat stuff like 'above and love'. lol

I laughed at your dating site info. lol the last line I thought would be where they could go. lol

I agree with the missing friends. I don't get emails from friends anymore, no phone calls and even my aunts and uncles don't write or call. Wait, I did get a call from one aunt when I put on the envelope to notify me if she had passed away. lol that got her attention.

Good going, good read. Thanks for sharing.

love, LinnAnn

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I love the 'whispered tune', nicely done.

Your first verse rhymed so I was disappointed that the rest didn't. You rhymed in a way I hadn't seen before, the third and sixth lines.

Your verses do not have the continuity of having the same amount of lines in each. I was looking forward to seeing how you did with the every third line rhyming.

I love your third verse the best I think. Guilty feelings at not writing giving meaning to the pencil and sand, gave a great personal touch.

Thanks for sharing this with us.
Love, LinnAnn

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Was there a reason you didn't start the sentences with a capital letter? You do have some punctuation, but I suggest checking again. I did see where a comma should go.

I had to smile at the 'perfect specimen'. I doubt the critter cared if it was perfect, but you could have crunched his Thanksgiving meal. lol I also like the 'rust colored'

You may want to consider changing word order or adding 'aroma', since the actual bread isn't wafting but the aroma is. I'm not sure if you are in a non English speaking country, but 'raisins' is spelled this way here.

'sweet hardened crusts' makes it sound like the sweet hardened it, with a comma after sweet it works better.

licking the sticky? Is that honey? At first I thought you meant ice cream, but you said you didn't ever buy it. So it left me confused. I did like the 'carousel call' part.

Thanks so much for sharing. I hope I was of some help.

Love, LinnAnn

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Review of Mars Ice  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I'm not into present tense, but I'll give this a go. lol I do love Sci-fi.


life forms floats--should be 'life form float' or 'life forms float'
patch of ice evaporation until it dissipates. -shouldn't that be 'evaporating' ?

In your first paragraph, you 'tell' us the life form gets in the gear and head of the man, but it might work better if you 'show' us. since they are sealed to hold in the pressure and oxygen, then you might want to give more detail as to how it works it's way in. If it is sentient then maybe show us it's thoughts as it struggles.

Show us, give us the thoughts, the words the man (?) uses when it starts effecting him. His screams, his telling someone else how much his head hurts etc. Also, you mention head gear but him slapping his head...you may want to back up a bit and describe if they are in an atmosphere controlled place, or what. If not then again, how would it get in. If so, then why the head gear?
As a reader, I'm lost.

I'm not into the F word, so don't know how much I'll read. But you are 'telling' us he goes into a catatonic state. Describe the action. I'm seeing a blank screen, imagine you are watching a movie, what do we see?

If you aren't under a word count, then it's a great place to show action, show the other peoples responses, the picking him up, checking his eyes, getting him to his bed or the infirmary....

He gazes question her.--I'm not sure what you meant.

If you click on the spot in your folder to 'save format' then the paragraph indentations will stay. that will help show new speakers and clarify without so many tags. “We’ll have the results within an hour,” she says. “Where’s O’Connor?” She asks. --Combine those sentences and cut out one of the tags.you don't need all the 'tags'...he says, she says, queries her, responds, asks, etc.


Also..try showing with actions what they are feeling, hand slamming on table, head scratching, scrunching up the eyes, fingers drumming on the table, see what I mean?

How does the other guy know it's a parasite? We didn't see him perform any tests. What does he see, in face, in blood, what symptoms?

try watching for the apostrophe's - it's
you don't need all the 'tags'...he says, she says, queries her, responds, asks,

“Everybody accepts the report our man died from an aneurysm, but he wants to make an issue of it. I can’t persuade him to change his mind,” -Throw a name in there 'our man' 'he wants' 'persuade him' 'his mind'--all that in two sentences.

people in close proximately of him needs to be --people/need -take off the s in needs

I didn't keep writing down suggestions, it's late.
I wanted more for an ending. The family would want more, no funeral, nothing? The last sentence didn't do it for me.

Thanks for sharing.
love, LinnAnn

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Review of Planetball!  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
I laughed when I read your poem/song. lol The beginning reminded me of a song. I think there are going to be hordes of people standing in various lines, waiting to ask questions. lol

You sure kept my attention. The word-centripetal- intrigued me. I wish my dictionary hadn't fallen apart. I'd like to look it up. If you would be so kind as to tell me the meaning I would appreciate it. lol

I'm not sure how that huge number is to be read, and kept in the rhythm. As they used to say in Laugh In...Veeeeeery interesting. lol Clean the beaches with Tide. You capitalized it. So you meant Tide detergent instead of the tide. puzzler that one.

I don't know why, but I liked the 'pinecones drift by.'

There were places where the amount of syllables didn't fit and threw the rhyme off. It pulled me out of the poem, but the items and experiences you mentioned were very intriguing and I did enjoy the poem a lot. Thanks for sharing this with us.

Love, LinnAnn

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Review of The Debate  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
The rating remained but the whole review disappeared. So here it is again.

I had trouble finding the beat, rhythm in it. I Read it over and still couldn't find it very well. That might be my fault. I did like the first verse the best.

I had just learned about this type of poetry today. I find it fascinating. You did well to build the suspense throughout, just as you would in a story. Each verse had something to show it, sweat, turning red, and fast breathing. Nicely done. Thanks for sharing this.
love, LinnAnn
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Review of Snowflake  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
The swirling white started the image but the 'final gasp' of Old Man Winter was great! That was just fantastic to exemplify the last flake. I loved it!

Such a delicate phrase,-'beckoning' and the crystalline fingertips. Especially when you later mention about going out to dance with your daughter. i loved that part. Amazing what joy a single snowflake can bring. Thank you for sharing this delightful poem.
love, LinnAnn

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Review of Flower of Hope  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I really like your FYI you included! I've never heard of that legend. Now I'm going to have to google the snowdrop and flower of hope to see what it looks like. Thanks.

I like how you do the wrap around lines that still rhyme. I"ve said it before, but I am envious of that. Also, the way you rhymed slope, hope and elope. Nicely done. The elope especially. You made it fit and it wasn't the 'old pat' stuff. Good for you!

Eve's bare garden slope--nice imagery. I'm impressed.
Thanks so much for sharing.
love, LinnAnn

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Review of Snowflakes  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
I love Haikus, even though I think they should be in groups for a longer story. lol It's a great challenge to fit a complete mental picture in such a tiny poem with such few words.

I like the first line, sets the stage for the rest quite nicely and simply.
The second line was totally new to me. I hadn't read one like that with the snow and I like it's originality.

The last line surprised me. I was thinking it was going to be the old standby of the snow's 'kiss' and it wasn't! Tales-what tales is the snow whispering in your ear? Childhood memories? Intriguing.
Thanks for sharing.
love, LinnAnn

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