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571 Public Reviews Given
586 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to give comprehensive reviews.
I'm good at...
I like reviewing poetry and short stories.
Favorite Item Types
I really love structured poems with good rhythm and rhyme.
Least Favorite Item Types
I don't enjoy reading long stories riddled with grammar or spelling mistakes because these distract me.
I will not review...
If I don't enjoy reading it on some level, then I won't review it. So if you got a review from me, even one with a low rating, I enjoyed the read.
Public Reviews
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Review of Freedom  Open in new Window.
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)

General Comments

You wrote a story in a poem.

Grammar and spelling are good and mostly don't distract me.
Genres should be chosen.

I found this line hard to read:
- Intrigued she’s lured only to her feet with thorns.
The problem is birds aren't lured to pain.

Story Comments
Are the characters engaging?

Yes, reasonably so. I don't think a bird can't represent the human feeling of wanting to soar but feeling dragged down, but I think personification of the bird needs to be done carefully for it to seem real.

Is there enough conflict? Is the plot compelling?

Yes.

Does the action rise to a climax?

No, the poem leaves us with the conflict as food for thought.

Is the setting clear in the reader's mind?

Yes.

Well done writing a good free form poem.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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177
177
Review of The Door  Open in new Window.
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)

General Comments

You wrote a great poem about an open door in a field.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
A genres could be chosen.

I found myself genuinely enjoying your poem and eagerly reading to find where the door led. Was it a magic doorway or just a mysterious relic? I kept reading to find out.

Well done writing a good form. I don't know the name of this form but I like how the initial line is carried through the poem.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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178
Review of Hurricane Season  Open in new Window.
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)

General Comments

You wrote a poem about a hurricane that reminds me of 3-day typhoons I used to live through.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.
The cover image is great and really suits your writing.

I found myself lost with the talk to invisible cows, and more lost at the wedding vows. Is the hurricane driving a spouse crazy? I'm not sure what the intended meaning is. Also, why are we suddenly in a cobweb? Are the people who talk to invisible cows spiders? I think the second verse is to show the reaction to harm done by the hurricane, but I'm not sure.

Although the second verse confused me quite a bit, I really like the first verse.
Well done writing a good verse about a hurricane.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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179
179
Review of RVF Minutes  Open in new Window.
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)

General Comments
You wrote good minutes.

Grammar and spelling are good and mostly don't distract me.
Genres are mysterious. Action/Adventure is listed but it is a board meeting without a twist or a surprise.

I found a few distracting mistakes,
- cudo's is spelled kudos,
- clothes dryer sheets... to deter mice, presumably. It should say what the purpose is.
- left o er from - is spelled over,
- High will closed - will be closed.


Story Comments

I'm guessing it's fiction although that isn't clear.

Are the characters engaging?

Yes, you wrote believable minutes of how people communicate in a board meeting.

Is there enough conflict? Is the plot compelling?

No, I kept waiting for something stunning or funny to happen and it didn't.

Does the action rise to a climax?

No.

Does the dialogue sound natural and does it advance the plot?

Yes.

Is the setting clear in the reader's mind?

No, they could be in someone's living room, or in a barn.


Well done writing mysterious minutes. I don't know the purpose of this piece.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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180
Review of Ode To Wintr  Open in new Window.
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)

General Comments

You wrote an interesting poem-story.

Grammar and spelling are good and mostly don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found myself distracted by one possible typo,
- Her hand held Winter - maybe you mean Wintr, for consistency,

Story Comments
Are the characters engaging?

Reasonably. It's harder in a poem.

Is there enough conflict? Is the plot compelling?

Your story has inner struggle and a process of maturing.

Does the action rise to a climax?

Yes, she can't breathe until she accepts her sword is part of her.

Is the setting clear in the reader's mind?

The magical setting is a little unclear. Why can't she breathe? How does the moon show a sword?

Well done writing a story-poem!

Write on! *BigSmile*


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181
181
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)

You wrote an interesting poem that captures the stress on the team players.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

Well done writing an interesting take on the inner conflict the losing team feels, and the good face they must wear.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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182
182
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
You wrote a fun contradiction in a children's style.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found myself wondering whether the entry was disqualified based on what it claims at the end.

Well done writing a great poem.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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183
183
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
You wrote a long exposition explaining the ghazal, its history and its modern ways. I feel more intimidated by the form than I felt before I read this.

Grammar and spelling are good and mostly don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found one mistake distracted me.
- It is both fun and satisfaction.
*CheckGr* It is both fun and satisfying.

Well done writing a great exposition!

Write on! *BigSmile*


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184
184
Review of Acting Up  Open in new Window.
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
You wrote a fun story about growing up.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found the conflict in the story kept the tempo active. I wasn't distracted by your writing as I read your story.

Well done writing character growth in such a short story.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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185
185
Review of Assignment - Fear  Open in new Window.
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
You wrote a believable story that could be based on a real person's reaction to death.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found myself preparing for plot twists that didn't happen, so I was distracted by that. Your writing conveys how emotions grip some characters.

Well done writing what could be true fiction, or at least seems like it.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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186
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
You wrote a really nice, happy story.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me. The violet words are a bit distracting but I guess they are prompts that were given, perhaps for a contest.
Genres are well-chosen.
The cover image is great and really suits your writing, and so does the image inside your piece.

I found your story lacked compelling action and dialogue. It reads like a description.

Well done writing such a happy story well. Stories are usually made interesting with conflict, and yours has only a little conflict yet is still interesting.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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187
187
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
You wrote a good poem about shark-infested waters.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Two genres are well-chosen, but why Health?
You could add a cover image that is great and really suits your writing.

I found a couple of distractions:
- On an unsuspecting human’s horrified radar - if they are unsuspecting then it isn't on radar.
- As the enchanted orb makes its nightly appearance... The daytime sees firsthand - the moon rose, nothing happened then it's day again. You go back to dark, but what you want to say isn't clear.

Well done writing a good poem!

Write on! *BigSmile*


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188
Review of KINDNESS  Open in new Window.
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
You wrote a heart-warming, short poem.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.
The cover image is great and really suits your writing.

I found your poem ended before I was ready for it to end.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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189
189
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
You wrote a compelling fantasy that moves quickly.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.
The cover image is great and really suits your writing.

I found your dropnote ml text is visible as though in double curly braces. Also, at one point you call the cat "Tabby" but a tabby cat is different from a black cat.

Well done writing a quick read that pulled me in and interested me from beginning to end.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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190
190
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
You wrote of a distant world not unlike our own.

Grammar and spelling are good and seldom distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found myself wondering why your world is as it is, and that distracted me from my reading.
- "seen not heard" needs a comma: "seen, not heard"

Well done writing a good flash fiction story!

Write on! *BigSmile*


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191
191
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
You wrote a fun story set in another world that you start to bring to life.

Grammar is good and doesn't distract me.
Two genres are well-chosen, but why Holiday is chosen is unclear.
You could add a cover image that is great and really suits your writing.

I found a distracting spelling mistake,
- has be for nothing: has been.

Your writing is choppy and the focus in the story jumps around, so it's hard to sink into the story. What's the problem with duplicating humans? What can the clones do? Why is "him" such a threat?

Well done writing about another world.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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192
192
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
You wrote an interesting story that had me feeling apprehensive throughout.

Spelling is good and doesn't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.
The cover image is great and really suits your writing.

I found this phrase doesn't need a comma:
- To the hearth’s right, stands a tall...

I think the witches succeed too easily in the story because the challenge (the snowstorm) is done when the story starts.

Well done writing a good tale with good dialogue.

Write on! *BigSmile*



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193
193
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Your cheerful poem could be easier to understand by adding punctuation. "and not supporting a lie." is obvious from the previous line so doesn't need to be repeated. Your poem is free verse but includes some rhymes.

The grammar is a little confusing, as in
- and will ask you to spread out yourself and have fun.
- even though if you feel it annoying.


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194
194
Review of Homecoming  Open in new Window.
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Blech: your story disgusted me, as intended. Well done! The trolls reaction to tea is funny. You have a good cover picture and the background of finishing school is great. The ratings are good and the genres are well-chosen. I found no grammar or spelling mistakes to distract me.

Your story could be developed more, given a clearer beginning and end, so it doesn't feel like a chapter from a book in progress.


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195
195
Review of Expecting Rain  Open in new Window.
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
You wrote a compelling poem in very few lines, with simple words so it is easy to understand. The imagery urges the reader to pause and reflect while reading your peom. The punctuation is perfect.

Rhyme and meter are great. The poem could benefit from an image of rain. A long time ago, Chinese artists paired paintings with poems. It's just an idea. The images in your poem lend themselves well to a painting.


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196
196
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Sadly, this competition seems to be closed although it does not say so.

There are two invalid items listed in {bitem:} format. The last time winners were announced was 15 year ago and there is no new prompt, but also no word about the contest being shut down or kept for its potential resurrection.

This looks like a good contest to continue. I wanted to enter.

I think the rules regarding the required number of entries is too convoluted and maybe that's why the contest stopped. I think if there are 3 entries and 3 prizes, then the prizes go to the entries.

I hope the contest opens again.
197
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Review of GrimRerper  Open in new Window.
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
You wrote a sad story that's probably been played out many times.

The line "Snipers and guards guard the surroundings of seven fully-equipped infantry walking
along the street, lined with buildings of the same color as the sand that has been floated up." doesn't need a paragraph break between walking and along.

The genre "women's" is unclear, but the other two genres fit well.

This is a good military snippet. Write on!


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198
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Review of Dragon Boy  Open in new Window.
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
You finished your story with a good amount of urgency, capturing the reader's attention.

Your whole story reads well. I found no grammar or spelling mistakes to distract me. However, we're supposed to open with the action and also open with ordinary daily life, a contradiction I haven't resolved yet. You do the latter in great detail, but it is too long and I almost stopped reading.

Children's fiction is simpler, with simple words and ideas in shorter sentences. I felt there was too much foreshadowing, stealing our surprise when he turned into a dragon.


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Review of Rigged  Open in new Window.
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Ccatholic isn't spelled well. Same with triaail. You can find these by searching your text as I just copied and pasted your spelling here. In children1, the purpose of the 1 is unclear. If it is a footnote, it needs to be formatted.

"the office culture is problem" -- capital T.

Your 7th footnote needs to be formatted into tiny font to match 1 to 6.

Great writing, interesting read.


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Review of I Need Him  Open in new Window.
Review by Zhen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
You've written a deeply personal piece set in religious form of expression. As compelling as the narrative is, what surprises me is how different it is from other compelling narratives on the same topic.

Your main character changed from the dialogue, after approaching a point of no return. Maybe you mean "bewildered" instead of "bewildering".


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