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118 Public Reviews Given
122 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I am thorough when I review. I like to include my overall impression of or feel for the piece of writing. Then I like to go into details explaining why - what worked for me and what didn't. I may include my favourite and/or my least favourite elements of the writing. I am honest and encouraging. I do not write fluff reviews simply to boost the number of my reviews.
I'm good at...
Rhythm and rhyme (in poetry) and Grammar and punctuation are my forte.
Favorite Genres
Emotional, Romance/Love, Relationships, Nature, Philosophical, Paranormal, Fantasy, Erotic
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, Gothic, War, Political
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Prose, Short Stories, Flash Fiction
Least Favorite Item Types
lengthy book chapters, Essays
I will not review...
I will not review anything that fails to evoke some level of emotion or understanding in me. I will not review anything that is so littered with spelling or grammar mistakes that I have a difficult time reading through it. I will not review anything that is vulgar or gory.
Public Reviews
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76
76
Review of It is Dark  Open in new Window.
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a powerful poem of darkness, hopelessness and despair. You don't tell about the emotions, you make the readers feel them with your word choices. The first stanza is so very powerful, what a tremendous way to pull your readers into the poem, and before they know it, they are in the darkness with you, feeling the cold wall rising over them, feeling the hot tears in their own darkness. Then BAM! we are hit with the phrase

hopelessness
sits with me.

Just when the loneliness seems about all we can take, we are told that our company is hopelessness. Wow!

But you're not done there. Inspiration comes out of an echo. And the hope that can break through the despair, the glimmer of light, shines through.

I'm in awe! I couldn't find any points of improvement to suggest. I love this brilliantly written poem just as it is.
Well done. I hope to read more from you.

Cheers,
77
77
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
What an interesting collage of phrases. This is a great starting point for a piece of writing. The first five phrases actually go together well, and could be the start of a very interesting poem. Other phrases that would fit so well and add to the theme of an older woman being young inside are:

Little girl alive in the older woman.
Willing to jump in the lagoon.
Growing into new parts of herself.

I rather like the title too. Wow! I'd love to see you work on some of these phrases to create a piece of poetry or prose. What a great idea.

I'm looking forward to seeing more from you.
Cheers
78
78
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Wow Michael,
you truly captured the emotions of the mundane, futile day-in day-out of social isolation. You portrayed a heaviness of spirit and a debilitation and lethargy of the body. I realize this is a draft, so I won't weigh this review down with a bunch of areas that could be tweaked. I will give you an example though. At the beginning, you repeat several times the phrases, "I feel like" and "it feels like", perhaps stronger language could be applied here to pull the reader into the emotion of what you are describing. "My brain feels like it's throbbing" could be written in stronger language like "My brain is throbbing". Perfect for a first sentence to draw the reader in.

I like the image in the sentence: "If I try to get out of bed and start moving too soon, I'm like a marionette with cut strings". Stronger and more direct language might be: "When I try to get out of bed and start moving too soon, I become a marionette whose strings have been cut" That's just an example and of course, just my opinion.

My favourite contrasts are: dumpster fire, and the American government keeps tossing gasoline onto it (contrast between the have's and the have-not's), books I mean to read and papers I mean to throw away (contrast between opposite efforts, equally as difficult), and "Too bad the thought of picking one of them up is mentally exhausting. Wow! this is some powerful imagery you use here. Good for you for being able to capture the feelings of numbness and fogginess exemplified by this time of isolation.

And you're right, this is no way to live.
I am impressed by your writing. I encourage you to keep it up.
79
79
Review of Dry Donuts  Open in new Window.
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
I have to say that the first three sentences of this written piece had me confused. Usually, I would not have read on. But the remainder of that first paragraph peeked my interest. So I read on.

You described the event of your choking well, taking me through the fear of that moment that seemed to drag on forever. When you mentioned the candy caming out, you said "that lodge the candy to the floor". You probably meant to say "that launched the candy to the floor". Also when you talked about not eating and getting "smaller and smaller", I think writing "thinner and thinner" would be more accurate there.

My favourite part of your piece was the end, when you mentioned eating all those dry donuts and not taking time to breathe between bites. In your conclusion, you drew such a poignant contrast between not being able to breathe with the choking and choosing not to breathe with the donuts. Well done.
80
80
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Zaineb,
I can feel your pain in this short poem. Your short phrases don't necessarily flow well into what is typically considered poetry. But I think it works well for you here. Along with the spaces between lines, you were able to give the feeling of dazed thinking. I think you could probably have written the lines without the quotation marks. Good job putting down your feelings about this period of isolation. My favourite line of your poem is the third line, "I have looked at others houses and I could feel the feeling of boredom and isolation". I can just see you staring at the houses on your street, seeing no movement, no sign of life, and I feel your boredom. Well done.
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