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118 Public Reviews Given
122 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I am thorough when I review. I like to include my overall impression of or feel for the piece of writing. Then I like to go into details explaining why - what worked for me and what didn't. I may include my favourite and/or my least favourite elements of the writing. I am honest and encouraging. I do not write fluff reviews simply to boost the number of my reviews.
I'm good at...
Rhythm and rhyme (in poetry) and Grammar and punctuation are my forte.
Favorite Genres
Emotional, Romance/Love, Relationships, Nature, Philosophical, Paranormal, Fantasy, Erotic
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, Gothic, War, Political
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Prose, Short Stories, Flash Fiction
Least Favorite Item Types
lengthy book chapters, Essays
I will not review...
I will not review anything that fails to evoke some level of emotion or understanding in me. I will not review anything that is so littered with spelling or grammar mistakes that I have a difficult time reading through it. I will not review anything that is vulgar or gory.
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review of My Third Entry  Open in new Window.
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey ButterBug, Welcome to WdC!

*ButtonT*I can totally relate to what you wrote here. I'm in my 60's and when I go to the park with my granddaughter, I go on the swing. It was definitely my favourite thing at the park as a child, beside the roundabout (which most parks didn't have).

*ButtonP*As for Netflix and comedy shows and drama shows, well, I've recently deleted my account with Netfix. I found everything seems to be the same old thing. I can watch some stand-up comics on Youtube and get a real good laugh *Laugh*. I have DVD's if I want to watch movies (also Youtube is good for movies). And I watch all the latest movies, when I visit my daughter on the weekends....lol!

*ButtonG*You mentioned Treasure Planet, that is a good movie! I have it on DVD.

*ButtonB*I know this isn't really a review of your work (more like a response), as you seemed to have written a blog entry or an update to your status. But I'd like to say again, *ConfettiR**ConfettiB* welcome *ConfettiV**ConfettiO*. And it was nice to meet you.

*Party*Enjoy your stay at WdC.
JMariah *Quill*


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52
52
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Unknown,

*Clap*First, let me say Welcome to Writing dot Com. It is always nice to see new artists join our community. Then, I'd like to tell you that anything I write about your work is simply my opinion. Each reviewer will have their own perspective on your work. Take what you can from everyone, and leave the rest. Reviews are meant to help. So, let me begin.

The message by stanza:
*AsteriskY*In the first stanza, you describe a girl with a broken smile (I think that's a powerful description), someone who smiles all the time, but the smile is hiding pain, perhaps pain she doesn't want anyone to know about. We've been there. So you are writing something that is relatable to your readers. Well done.

*AsteriskY*The second stanza talks about this same girl being a giver, never asking for anything for herself. Also relatable.

*AsteriskY*The third stanza confused me, as you wrote that she lives for...then you list the things she lives for:
1 the beauty of nature
2 the sadness of life
3 a wonder less glint in her eyes (I'm not sure what this line actually means)
Do you see why this is confusing? Why is she living for numbers 2 and 3? Maybe look at what you really want to say here, and reword this stanza to fit into your description of this girl.

*AsteriskY*The last stanza wraps up your poem with how she feels, but smiles anyway. In my opinion, I think that is a powerful ending to your poem. The last line, though, seems to be missing a word. You wrote:
"But still smiles at the as she walks through every door. What does she smile at? You don't want your readers remembering the last thing they read, if it's a mistake.

*Clap*Overall: I think you have a poem with a good message. I can relate to the character, as I've been there myself. You have a good opening and strong closing. You just need to tweak it a little in the middle.

*Clap*Well done,
JMariah


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53
53
Review of Lockdown Lament  Open in new Window.
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Delight*Hello Prosperous Snow Celebrating,

*EyesLeft*I found your poem in the "Read and Review" section. I love your poem. You took the phrases given for the prompt and crafted a very meaningful poem that outlined many people's thoughts and feelings during the Lockdown.

*Scroll*You chose an appropriate title.

*Lightning2*I love the contrast between the scent of the shattered dreams and the stench of loneliness. This is very vivid, very poignant.

*Target*At the beginning, you mention the New Year and a new normal. And at the end you wait for the Time Square ball to drop (New Year) and the hope of a new normal - the torment to end. This is a great technique (ending with the point you made at the beginning).

*CheckR*Brilliantly written! I couldn't find any areas for improvement.

JMariah


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54
54
Review of Transformation!  Open in new Window.
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Bodhisattwa Parekh,
Welcome to WDC!

*PenB*I really like this poem you wrote about transforming your goal from painter to writer.

*PenB*I especially like the last line, as you tie both goals together with it. Afterall, the painter creates art with the brush, and the writer, with the pen.

*PenB*You creatively said much in few words.
Well done

JMariah
55
55
Review of Daddy  Open in new Window.
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Amy Jo,
I came across your poem in the "Read and Review" section.

What a touching and emotional poem you wrote. I love the first stanza, that sets the tone of the poem - your appreciation for the man who accepted your mother and you. Then you write how this man becomes so much more to you, when you call him "Dad".

What a heart-stirring piece you wrote. Good for you. You captured the essence of the relationship and relayed that to the readers, making us feel the emotion of your relationship. And you became his "little girl".

Very nicely presented.

JMariah


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56
Review of Endless Joy  Open in new Window.
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Jaya,

Wow! What a powerful little poem is this. Endless Joy, that is what poetry provides. I love the second stanza:
I love to colour my life
with its sound and beauty.

In these lines, you have captured the essence of what poetry is to me. It strengthens me; it takes away my pain.

I love the last two lines:
If life is a gift
Poetry is a blessing.

Poetry really is a blessing. And you have captured this very well in your poem.

This poem, written in free verse, is very powerful.
Thank you so much for sharing.

Keep writing,
JMariah


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57
57
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Curtis,
I came across your Introduction to Caleb in the "Read and Review" section. I think you have a very good beginning for a story (or play).

I really like the first paragraph that shows Caleb stepping out onto the stage, and taking a deep breath. Time seems to slow down as he looks out into the audience. The only thing I would warn you of is that the word "stage" is mentioned three times in the first two sentences.

I love the line about Caleb being the main character of his own story. This lets the reader know what to expect from your writing. Then when you mention that he is forever a supporting cast member in his life, we see him as the underdog, and want to cheer for him.

I'm not sure what the significance of comparing him to Ben Stiller is, but perhaps you will elaborate on this point further along in your writing.

I think you have a good starting. Keep writing and developing this character.
JMariah


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58
Review of An Endless Love!  Open in new Window.
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello Jaiam,

*Heart*I came across your poem in the "Read and Review" section. Wow! What a powerful little poem you wrote!

*Heart*It touched me deeply, as the tone of character cried out for a love it craves, but has not yet experienced. There is a strong yearning for an endless, boundless, foolish love that will be all theirs and theirs alone. How we all crave for such a love.

*HeartY*In few words, you were able to capture a deep hunger for a lasting love. And I think what worked best here was that you used few words. You used only words that were meaningful in getting your point across.

*HeartRainbow*What a masterpiece!
Thanks for sharing,
JMariah


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Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello HuntersMoon,

*SantaHat*I came across your poem in the "Read and Review" section. I am glad that I did. This poem followed all the requirements laid down for this entry to the short story prompt. There were so many words that you couldn't include, but handled it very creatively.

*SantaHat*Your descriptions of Santa and what he stands for is well documented in your writing, as well as the plea for all to pass the tale on, so the joy will continue to spread.

*SantaHat*I found this a very delightful read.

*SantaHat*Keep writing,
JMariah


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60
60
Review of Coronavirus  Open in new Window.
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a very well crafted limerick. The subject is very timely.
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Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (1.5)
Urooba,

*ButterflyO* Thank you for posting this poem. It is always hard to post the first one, and have others read and review. Remember that what I say here is simply my opinion. Everyone who reads will have their own opinion.

*ButterflyB* I have to tell you that this poem seems quite disjointed in meaning. I found it difficult to follow. I think perhaps lines like:
Which, always compelled:
To do what no one demands.
and
Push me onto the scale.
and
Everyone without sorrow unleash,
make this poem difficult for me to read and thoroughly understand. But remember, that's just my opinion.

*ButterflyG* I can definitely relate to the "feeling" of this poem; having wild thoughts in the head, wanting to please others, but wanting to be true to yourself. The last two lines are very powerful, which is a great way to end the poem.

*ButterflyV* Keep writing. Keep posting. I look forward to reading more from you.

JMariah


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62
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Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Mike,

*PurseP* This is such a wonderful snapshot of a father/daughter moment. The subject is relatable, and the writing style made this piece enjoyable and easy to read.

*PurseP* I really like how you started the piece (in the middle of an action), putting me in the middle of your living room right at the opening.

*PurseP* I like how you move from the excitement of the birthday gift, to the everyday chore of doing laundry. This is so real. And how you describe your thoughts of her growing up, is priceless!

*PurseP* The only thing I thought was not really necessary is the mention of the five bucks.

*PurseP* The image of you sitting and reading a teen magazine is a great way to end this piece. It put a sweet smile on my face.

Well done!
JMariah


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63
Review of Ambience  Open in new Window.
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a very sweet and romantic poem. I like how you set the ambiance (spelled incorrectly in the title, by the way) of this poem in the very first line:
In the early autumn glow
This gives the feeling of a romantic room lit by the orange glow of a crackling fire.

*Fire* In the line "Tilted me to your presence", I stumbled over the word "tilted"; it felt awkward and out of place here. And I wasn't sure exactly what you wanted to say.

*Fire* Another line that I had some trouble with was "The be-all and end-all". Although we know what this means, it seems cliche and detracted from the romantic feel of the rest of the poem.

*Fire* Apart from these minor details, I think you crafted a very romantic and sweet flowing poem. It appealed to my ears and emotions.

*Thumbsupr* Well done,
JMariah


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Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
What a great tribute the King of Rock and Roll. This reads like the mourning of a fan. I liked the line
a sincere bass under slicked back, coal-black hair. I could picture that look he wore and this line made me smile.
I particularly liked the mention of his song titles spotted through the lines of this tribute.
Well done,

JMariah
65
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Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem sounds so amazing read out-loud (that's how I read everything I review). It has varying tones, much like a monologue. I love thunder, so I was drawn into this poem by the most appropriate title. I was left yearning for a good thunderstorm *Smile*

The power pulses through me,
and like the falling rain,
unearths the turmoil
just beneath the surface.

*Lightning3* These lines are well crafted, showing the connection of the narrator to the thunder. I really like the use of the harsh- sounding word "crack", in the phrase
...crack
with the lightning

*Lightning3* Then, through the use of the soft-sounding word "subsides", you very effectively help the reader feel the connection between the changing emotions of both the narrator and the storm.

*Lightning3* What doesn't work for me is the entire stanza about the sun. It is off topic and detracts from the emotions you've been able to establish for the reader. It isn't missed, when the poem is read without it.

*Lightning3* I like (and identify with) the point about needing to acknowledge that turmoil inside, and how the thunder doesn't just go through you, it is you - your voice.

*Lightning3* Great job with the line breaks and punctuation. This encouraged the dramatic reading of this beautifully crafted poem.

Well done *Thumbsupl*
JMariah*PenV*


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66
66
Review of Guise  Open in new Window.
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BurstR* Overall impression:
I really like the meaning in this little poem. It is sad in a way, but hopeful. I can definitely relate to putting on a different mask to suite different people and situations.

*BurstR* What didn't work for me:
The matter of fact tone of the poem doesn't make an emotional impact on me, though I can relate to the actions described. The first line
Myriad forms converge
is mechanical, rather than emotional in its tone, which is then carried throughout the rest of the poem.

*BurstR* What I really like:
none the prefect fit for his entirety
In this line I see that even though the many guises converge, they never merge, making him whole.
Then the last line happens
he is naked but finally complete
He has to strip them ALL away (become naked), in order to be complete. And as we know, appearing naked before the world, not just physically but metaphorically, is extremely difficult.

*Thumbsup* This poem appeals to my head; I hear it and I understand.
Thank you for the read.
Joan



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Review of Life  Open in new Window.
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Sun* Overall impression:
This is an inspirational poem. As you've listed this as spiritual, I assume you are writing that the reader look to God or Heaven. I rather enjoy that it also applies to those not thinking spiritually, as looking up means to look to the positive (not holding your head down in sorrow).

*Sun* What didn't work for me:
The short lines for me give it a choppy feel - totally a personal preference. Also the lines:
Can feel like
drowning
spinning
falling
This I find slightly confusing. Is it life that feels like it's drowning, spinning, falling? Or is it the narrator who feels like he's drowning, spinning, falling? I assume you are not saying that the narrator feels like, as in, desires to be drowning, spinning, falling. If it was written something like:
Can feel like
you're drowning
spinning
falling
this may make it clearer, if this is the sense you were going for.

*Sun* What I really like:
Don't look where

you fell

Look up
Here you are urging the readers to not focus on the mistakes that make them fall, but to look "up", the first step to getting up and moving on.

Thank you for this poem of hope and encouragement.
Joan


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Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a very sweet love poem, that reads like a song. It is very tender in its sentiments. The first stanza sets the romantic tone of the poem and makes me smile.

*Heart*I find that in spots the rhythm goes off, where lines are either longer or shorter than the 4-beat lines established in the opening stanza. These lines interrupt the flow of the reading. For example:
It sings to me sweetly
This first line of the second stanza seems to cut off abruptly, as it is shorter than the four lines before it. There is nothing wrong with this, but it simply creates a different feel and mood for me. Adding the word so
It sings to me so sweetly
would keep the rhythm consistent and create an even flow between stanzas.

*Heart*I feel that the last stanza is awkward and doesn't flow in the same romantic rhythm of the others. I struggle with the sense of the lines
That your happiness I care ("care for" or "for your happiness I care"?)
Ahead of all the tea in China (maybe "above" instead of "ahead"?)
They feel forced in order to create an ending.

*Heart*How about something like this:

For it is more important,
How much for you I care
Every minute of the day
Every day of the year. (near rhyme; just a thought)

This ties the ending back to the beginning.

*Heart*My favourite stanzas are the first and second to last. And my favourite lines in the second to last stanza are:
If a smile should overcome you,
Well, That would be alright.
These lines are so real and make me smile. It reminds me of the friendly nudge a boy might give a girl if he feels he's getting too mushy with her. There's a real sweet innocence to how they feel.

*Heart*I really like this poem. I think it would be worth working on the last stanza, to leave the same romantic feeling in the reader at the end, that you introduce in the beginning. If you do revisions, please let me know, so I can revisit.

*Heart*Joan


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69
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Review of Who Would You Be?  Open in new Window.
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a very powerful poem that outlines the current state of affairs. You painted a vivid picture of American politics and social concerns. You used strong language, with assertive words and phrases, that give us all something very serious to think about. Phrases like:
The government says that it cares more than me?
and
Should it go to the maker, or the bully who takes?

Through a series of questions, you challenge the people (readers) to think! You don't tell us what to think, but just to think. Then you urge the people to "Wake up". I love this, as it is here that you present your arguments for us to consider.

Wake up, America! The wolf's in the fold;
and
Don't tell me I'm wrong, for others agree;

This is where you come out punching. Enough of the questions to get us looking inside to what we see and believe. Now, you are presenting the facts in a non-apologetic tone, straight-shooting!

My favourite and most powerful line in the poem is:
Then vote away freedom, and liberty, too;
Wow! If that isn't a slap in the face, I don't know what is *Smile*

You end by saying that we have the right to choose our position in this matter, and you demand that we choose:
Would you be cattle, or would you be free?

So powerful, from beginning to end.
Well done.
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Review of Alone and Sad  Open in new Window.
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really enjoyed reading this poem. First of all, I am partial to rhyme, but also to poems with powerful messages. This fits both.

You started by painting a very bleak picture of people who walk among us that we wouldn't necessarily notice or consider. So right off the bat, you pulled me outside of myself to think of others. The rhyme really worked for this poem; I was forced to slow down and take in every line, as every line is important.

I did have trouble with a few lines in this poem.
In their voices as they grump. I found the word "grump" awkward, forced to fit the rhyme.
Memories their only friend. This line slowed me down and I have to reread it a few times. I wasn't sure if you wanted to say
Memory's their only friend (as in memory is their only friend) or
Memories, their only friend (the phrase being a qualifier of the noun memories) and
How our lives continue on,
To rise up or remain bent. The stanza is talking about loneliness helping us heal, and these lines don't seem to flow from that thought. It's not the life that rises up or remains bent, but the person. Maybe if it was written something like:
Loneliness has a reason,
Time to heal is its intent.
We chose how we carry on,
How we rise or remain bent.
Even so, the word "bent" sounds awkward, another word forced to fit the rhyme.

I love the last two stanzas. They are packed with powerful encouragement and hope. This is a great way to end this poem that outlines the hurting people in the world.

My favourite lines are:
Think of others and be strong.This line moves my focus back inside myself and gives me strength and hope, for the purpose of helping others and myself. I could at anytime become one of these people described here, and I will need this strength to see myself through.
Only we can change the route. This line puts so much power in my (the reader's) hands.
What a powerful ending.

Well done,
Joan
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Review of Maybe  Open in new Window.
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Aur Dawn,

Wow! I love this powerful little poem. You tell a whole story in so few lines upon the page. This poem is brief without being vague. By relaying what you wish in possibly another life, you tell volumes about what the sad meeting in this life was like.

I would probably change the word as to so in the 4th line:
And our souls not as rough
to
And our souls not so rough
As suggests a comparison, and yet there is nothing within the poem that the roughness is being compared to. So indicates the intensity of the roughness.

My favourite lines are:
Perhaps then you will want me
And I'll finally be enough

These lines say so much about how the narrator is feeling, unwanted and not enough to the person being desired.

Very well written. I thoroughly enjoyed the read.
Joan
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Review of Mother Mozambique  Open in new Window.
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is a wonderfully encouraging poem, for the children of Mozambique to rise up and overcome their hardships. You urge the people to do what they've been taught, to keep the culture alive, "Till the land, sift the rice, Grind the bean.", continue their daily lives. And even though life seems futile, "Poverty is high, survival is low", there is a plea to trust in "The Most High". In the midst of all the poverty and despair, you ask the people to believe, to have faith. And you assure them that with that faith they will overcome, "soar higher than the eagle". You urge the people to rejoice "Wake up, dance up, sing up" in their hardships and they will be blessed, "you shall inherit the earth".

Very inspiring.
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Review of Gems and Jazz  Open in new Window.
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
You had me at sodalite *BigSmile* I'm an avid rock and mineral collector who has been to the Princess Sodalite Mine in Bancroft, Ontario. This poem captivated me and held me fast in its grasp with mention of so many luscious gemstones. I also make jewellery using gemstone beads and crystals, so I can relate to this poem on a very personal level. I love that you wove this poem into a love story between gems and jazz, finishing it off with the title of the store being changed to "Gems and All That Jazz".

Very creatively done. I love it!
Cheers
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Review of I'll Never Forget  Open in new Window.
Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
What a beautiful poem. You are so fortunate to have your mother's thoughts about you written in this lovely form. I remember writing a poem for my son the day after he was born. What a legacy to leave behind.

My favourite lines are: "snatched from the womb" and "memories so precious
Which no-one can take"

Very well done. Memories well captured.
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Review by JMariah Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is such a touching short story. As soon as I noticed it was written in a series of letters, I was excited to read it. I wasn't disappointed.

Your words were well chosen, making your story concise without being wordy. The themes of love and devotion run through your writing: love for life, family and writing. These are intertwined, each effecting the other in very real scenarios.

I can identify with the grandma who isn't a grandma by blood, but is every bit a real grandma; one who loves just as deeply, and who grieves just as deeply. You so successfully brought this out in your short story. I was very deeply touched.

Thank you for sharing.
I hope to read more of your work.

Cheers,
Joan
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