This is a nice piece of prose. You have used great rhythm and rhyme. You have structured it all well and I find no grammar or typing errors. What are you going to do with it now? Keep it up!
Very impressive opening to this chapter. The entire chapter is very nicely handled. I wouldn't change a thing. You have done a real good job. Do you have a storyline? If so, I would like to read it. Keep up the good work!
This was very good reading. I would definitely not change a thing. Very well written with great word useage and sentence structure. You certainly can't improve on perfection. I may check your portfolio for more.
I enjoyed reading your poem very much . It was quite cute. I do think the rhyme was nice,but, I think the rhythym could be better. I say this just from my first reading. It is quite cute though. It made me think---yes, about socks.
I enjoyed reading your piece very much. Your intro was very good and kept me reading, the conversation moved the story along nicely, your word useage was usually very good. I would do a proofread and reform some sentences. You might explain things better than using 'viceversa'. But, for the most part I like your piece.
The opening to your piece was well chosen, I really liked it. The basicsare well acomplished here with good conversation that moves the piece along and nice word useage. It evoked feelings of sadness and finality.
Wanted to bring to your attention:
you feel it’s best for you.= is best for you?
Keep it up!
Khaynne
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I enjoyed reading your piece very much. Cute story. You have used good word useage, conversation that moves the story on and the storyline is done well. I think the ending could be a little longer, it seems abit abrupt to me. Nice work!
With this compelling opening you get into your character right away and get the reader interested. Good conversation that moves the story along and is realistic. This is a great start to your story. I would be curious to see where you go with it.
I liked this piece very much. It was very different and was handled real well. It worked well and the structure was slick. Fine word useage. I wouldn't change a thing. You make it look so easy.
I really enjoyed reading this piece. You have a very unique writing style. The plot was very interesting and kept me reading. Your characters were intriquing and believeable. Your word usage is not over done and it does work well.
You really find the right descriptive words to evokes the feelings of fear and emotion. I thinked it worked very well to say what your wanted to say set forth the message. We used to wear arm bands of black but I never wrote a poem about it.
You really have talent. I enjoyed reading this very much.
Yes, this did hook me right away. Wondering what is going on. Nice descriptive words used. It evokes a unsetlling feeling in me. I think you did very well keeping the suspense alive until you felt it was time to let us know. It definitely worked. You did a good job. Enjoyed reading this.
WOW! This is a nicely written piece. The conversation moves the story along. Ifind no typo and that is always nice to see.(you should see some of the text I look at)It evokes alot of different feelings such as sadnees, unbelieving weird feeling of I am not sure what is happening which isn't a bad thing.
Here are some ideas. Just my opinion and hope it helps.
Need to do a proofread. I think you can find something more than 'I replied.' Use some descriptive word there or? Definitely makes me want to read on and see how the meeting goes and what else you do with the story.
A 1.5? Somebody is not thinking. Your writing is fine. When you start out you are supposed to write what you know. That is why blogging is so good for a writer. It is basically just journaling. I have been depressed and suicidal. I don't want you to feel alone. Email me if you would like to chat (or IM me ofcourse.)
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your entries. Your writing evoked laughter as well as joy that only animals can bring. As far as your writing technique is concerned you have a very nice flowing style that keeps the reader interested. What fun!
I enjoyed reading this very much. Three lines that say alot and seem to have alot going on. It was short and sweet. It evoked a nice feeling. Well written. Hope you add more later. Nice discriptive phrasing, and all works well. Is it for an entro or?
I enjoyed reading your piece. It is well written, structured and has nicely flowing conversation. Looks as if you did a good proofreading and editing before submitting this as well. Always a good plan. Good use of descriptive phrasing. This story really works and is very unique.
Khaynne
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A BLACK CASE DOMINATION PORT RAID 