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Hello,
Welcome to our world. I enjoyed reading your list. Very good things to live by indeed. I think #2 and #4 are my favorites. I like pieces that leaving you thinking and this one certainly did.
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Hello,
I enjoyed reading your work. I think if you use some spacing your piece will be easier to read. Alittle descriptive wording here and there will bring your story to life. You have a good start to your story. Congratulations in being a new member.
Keep on!
KM
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Hello,
I enjoyed reading your piece. Cute. Natural interactive between chanracters. Realistic conversation. Well used basic skills of creative writing.
Keep on!
KM
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Hello,
I enjoyed your piece. You have done some good work here. I like the way you bring the reader, by increments, to the very end and death. Good writing.
Keep on!
KM
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Very nice looking young lady you have there. You seem very proud. The best love we have is that which we feel for our children. Thank you for sharing this.
KM
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I enjoyed reading your song. For the most part it was well written with well done rythm and rhyme. I wouldn't change a thing. I have no favorite part since all of it is so good. Each time I read it I find more well rounded thought and meaning.
Keep on!
KM
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This is an excellent piece of work. I enjoyed reading it very much. All the mythology and such was very interesting and added alot of flavor to the piece. I would not change anything.I like the way you brake it up into different size paragraphs. This makes it a pleasure to read. Very impressive and unique.
Keep on!
KM
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This is good work. I would not do things much differently. Your writing is smooth and all the basics are well executed. I have only read this chapter but it sounds like a good story. I enjoyed reading it very much and am sure the rest of it is nicely done as well.
Keep on!
KM
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Wow! Another great read. I always enjoy reading your work. You are precise and clear. You use just the right word which is sometimes hard for some of us. It flows forth like the best of a story teller should work.
Keep on!
KM
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This is a great poem. It really made me think and look back over some events in history, Talking about death and war is never tasty prose but you bring with it some very intuitive questions. You describe these subjects very well. Very enjoyable.
Keep on!
KM
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I enjoyed reading your piece. I am an agnostic. I find your way of expression very interesting and really makes a person think. I wouldn't change your work. I find it compelling just as it is. I will have look into C.S. Lewis' work more. Sounds interesting.
KM-Mystic Topaz
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I found your poem very packed. By that I mean you put alot of stuff in there. I think the first stansa falls flat. I think the ending could be better. The other two stansas are nice. Keep up the good work.
Keep on!
KM-Mystic Topaz
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You might want to think about changing the point of the beginning of your story to when Kessler comes in. Maybe think back over the pattern on the wall being what the main character was thinking about he came in. You want to start out with something that will grab your reader. Some very good emotion described and word useage and conversation was nicely handled. Maybe you could redo the beginning, read it that way and see what you think.
Keep it up!
KM-Mystice Topaz
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I enjoyed reading this very much. It has a real rhthym to it and flowed nicely. It has a ice rhyming to it as well. Some nice imagery and word useage was right on. I wouldn't change anything and found no typos or anything.
Keep it up!
KM-Mystice Topaz
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This piece has an interesting begining and got me interested. I found it very unique, with good dialogue. It seemed very honest and well thought out. I might change the parts where you finish a statement as to what the main character would say by put that part of the dialogue in italics. Rather than this I think it is a pretty good piece.
Keep it up!
KM-Mystic Topaz
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you have written an interesting beginning to your Chapter One. I liked your style of writing. You do use all the basics well- such as conversation, word useage,etc. I think your piece was well done and I enjoyed it very much. I would not change anything and think the way you began the piece is my favorite part.
Keep it up!
KM-Mystic Topaz
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I just want to start out by saying- Good for you!If I gave fives you would get one. The way you started your piece could not have been better. I think a story should start out with a whollup to get the reader's attention and you did that.
This is a fine story. I wouldn't change a thing. You use conversation to keep it going and fine word useage. I must say that it is so refreshing to come across a real well written piece.
Keep it up!
Khaynne
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This is another interesting series of definitions. Well written, and excellent word choices. I think you have a very unique style and am curious to see how it goes. Nice work.
This is a very interesting piece of combined definitons. I am not sure what your age is but I see several different eras visited here. Nicely organized and just goes to prove again that the dictionary is our friend. Thank you!
Keep it up!
Khaynne
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