Your poem made me curious about moon baths, which I Googled after I read it. It involves water, candles, sound baths, and moon beams. I would certainly enjoy the “grand results from ancient rite performed.” Great Cramp entry! Also, good job with the form. When I read your entry, I realized I made a mistake in mine, and fixed it.
Hi- this is a powerful poem about experiencing dementia and also a great contest entry for today’s Cramp. However, “And even though the storm rages,” has 8 syllables instead of 7, so you’ll need to change it to qualify for the contest. I made a mistake like that when I first posted my own today, and I edited it since. You have until noon to edit it, I think. Good luck!
Nice response to the Writer's Cramp prompt! I like how you undertook this Gwawdodyn Welsh poetry structure and kept your writing lively within the syllable and rhyme structure. My favorite line was, "to ensure our frolic boat stays afloat," since the internal rhyme in that line was very satisfying. :)
This is brilliant and funny! “Orion’s belt looks like Barb’s sequined vest,” and other great lines made it a pleasure to read. Congratulations on your Cramp win.
Interesting improvements with the new details about the kids possibly having played with the time machine and the medieval people thinking the time traveler is a witch.
A couple thoughts- is the narrator male or female? If male, the medieval people might think he’s a warlock rather than a witch.
We still don’t know why the narrator expected to time travel to a hotel in 1982.
Great short story- I like the set up you did with this quote because it half made me expect the new puppy would make coffee somehow: But I knew in my heart that I would never be able to teach it to make the morning coffee.
You also set up the punch line in the first paragraph without ruining the surprise. The little details about Marsha’s job, the kids growing up, the death of the old dog, and the puppy all tie in well, even with a story this short. The puppy seems to stand for hope for the future- feeling like a lot of things are possible in a new phase of life.
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