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Public Reviews
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326
326
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Leaf4*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Leaf1* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your rating, title and genres are good.

Great poem, I hope you shared it with your wife.
She is lucky to have you, your words are sweet and romantic...with just a touch of humor slid in.

I like your comparisons of nature and love.
Your ending sums this all up very well.

*Leaf2* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
Only one, I think I would go through and put some periods in this and end some of your thoughts.


Keep writing.

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327
327
Review of THE DREAM  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Leaf4*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Leaf1* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your rating , title and genres are all good.

Great dream, one many of us have!!
I actually have made Friday my cleaning day so that I do not have to do it on the weekend!
: )

You set the dream up well by showing others doing the mundane chores.
Your poem reads/flows well.
You present it well with the centering and the spacing.

I like the lines on waking me with a cup of tea!


Keep writing.

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328
328
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Leaf4*Thanks for entering your poem in "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. and good luck.

*Leaf1* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title, rating and genres are appropriate.
I like your thoughts on time.
I like stanza two the best.

*Leaf2* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
I think I'd have tic-toc instead of tic tac (that makes me think of a breath mint! lol)

Your rhyming is all over the place, you might try a rhyming pattern.

Keep writing.

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329
329
Review of Her  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " Open in new Window.

My Overall impression:
You show your readers a very strong (but cold) woman with your words.
I like your descriptions of the characteristics she has.

My favorite stanza:
'Will of iron
Spine of steel
Slow to break
Hard to heal'

Suggestions/Errors:
Add some genres to your poem, they help to get you more exposure.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
330
330
Review of Crimson Regret  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Wow, drastic measures.
The sheath going in is vivid!

You show her emotions well in this.

I like these lines;
'A tear on a cheek blushing rose petals and fire,'
&
'The distant feel of his hand burned in her flesh,
She can never be rid of his tormenting caress'

Suggestions/Errors:
Eyes burned out long ago, And with it took her desire.
I wouldn't have and capitalized here.

Add some genres to your item.
death, tragedy, romance/love or drama

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
331
331
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Leaf4*Thanks for entering your poem in "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. and good luck.

*Leaf1* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title, rating and genres are good.

I like your thoughts on a one-way love.
It's always makes for a bad relationship if one is in more deeper than the other.

*Leaf2* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
I like the spacing in stanzas 1,2&4...did you mean to do it?
and why not have it the same in stanza 3???

Keep writing.

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332
332
Review of RUSTY  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Great tribute to your childhood pet.
I could feel your love for him through your poem.

Great ending.
You rating, title and genres are appropriate.

Suggestions/Errors:
minor things;

I think I would add some punctuation to this.

Watch your use of filler words. (and the that those)
And your repetition of words.
(You have never twice and you three times in stanza one.)

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
333
333
Review of A very bad day  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " Open in new Window.

My Overall impression:
Your title, rating and genres are good.
Your first para is strong and makes your reader want to know more.

Love your descriptions...throughout you have vivid and unique descriptions.
I like the boot-sucking-off mud one in para one!

I don't have any family in the war nor have I ever been in the military...and for me you really personalize this character and show me what one feels, hears and sees that is over there.

Wow, what a situation to be in, your ending gave me goose-bumps.
Thanks for the pleasurable read.

Suggestions/Errors:
He hadn’t even seen his daughter who would two months old next week
add be after would.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
334
334
Review of A Cry for Help  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " Open in new Window.

My Overall impression:
Your title and genres are good.

You really share a part of yourself with your readers.
This starts out honest and full of emotions and shows a very positive ending.
This was probably hard to share, but writing can really be an emotional release too.

Suggestions/Errors:
I think this reads like a prose so I'd change the Other and put this static item as a prose.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
335
335
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Leaf4*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Leaf1* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title, rating and genres are good.

My favorite part;
'Through great effort and sacrifice we search
Complexities of such magnitude to torment the mind'

*Leaf2* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
I think your poem would benefit with some punctuation.

I think line one would read better if you cut both.

With direction and purpose without compassion or feeling
try;
With direction and purpose not compassion or feeling

Keep writing.

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336
336
Review of Observation  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Leaf4*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Leaf1* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your rating, title and genres are good.
I agree with all that you have here.
I think you show human nature well.

This part is strong and true:
'I’m always inclined to play the part of the fool
though it’s a facade;
I know all the rules.'

*Leaf2* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
I think you should have the last line in stanza one as you have the rest of your stanzas.

I’ve come back broken and lost
-but was never defeat.
A little awkward, try;
I’ve come back broken and lost
-but never in defeat.

Keep writing.

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337
337
Review of Reviewer's Club  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Leaf1* *Leaf2* OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Your rating, title and genres all fit well.
Great use of the writingMLs.

Your colors are bright and easy to read.
Your forum is colorful and easy to follow.

This is a very creative idea.
This is a neat way to get reviews and exposure for you and the reviewer.

I like that you included the links for reviewing and the guidelines.


*Leaf1* *Leaf5* KEEP WRITING!
*Leaf2**Leaf3*Tammy
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338
338
Review of hopefully  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Great ending.

I like this thought:
between the crest of false dawn and trough of realistic emptiness.

Suggestions/Errors:
In line one I would cut off.

but these temporary highs of her occur all too
Should this be hers?

back after her jaw muscles put their guard down, she caught herself awoken and clear
This line is confusing...

Wake up and continue to be your family clown
family's clown

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
339
339
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " Open in new Window.

My Overall impression:
Your rating, title and genres are good.

I really enjoyed your poem on parts of our history.
Your poem flows well and the rhymes work good together.

Suggestions/Errors:
You have commas and one period, I think you should go through and add a few more and close some of your thoughts.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
340
340
Review of Indifference  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Your title and rating are good.
WOW, you capture our world well.
Unfortunately all of this is happening every day, every second...

Even though this is harsh, it's all very accurate and true.
You ask some very significant questions at the end.

My favorite lines:
'Rage boils over, another lover is battered,
But the selfish proceed as if none of it mattered'

Thanks for sharing this powerful read with us.

Suggestions/Errors:
Add some genres, they help your item to get exposure.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
341
341
Review of The Ugly American  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Your title, rating and genres are good.

Your writing style is good and accurate.
I did not notice any typos errors.

Suggestions/Errors:
The comedy fell a little short...I kept waiting for the punch-line....but it never really came.

You show different cultures well and how one can be inconsiderate but like I said I was left waiting on the humorous part of this.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
342
342
Review of Sadness  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
I like the dramatic effect of repeating the first stanza as the last.

I like this part it helps to show how sad she is:
'Or in a group with her friends,
The sadness never goes away...'

Suggestions/Errors:
I know this is in 3rd person but you should really wok on the over usage of she that you have throughout.

Watch your past/present tenses also.

an example:
You will never see her true self when she's like this,
She won't let you...
She believes that if people do,
try
You will never see her true self,
She believes that if people did,

Add some genres, they help your poem get exposure.

I like this font, but it is a little small you may want to increase the size a little...make it easier on you reader's eyes.

The one that's been hapy lately,
happy

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
343
343
Review of our one and only  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " Open in new Window.

My Overall impression:
Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.
Great tribute to your grandfather.

Your poem flows well.
I like the simplicity of your poem and the rhyming pattern it really shows us the man at the piano.
Sorry for your loss.

my favorite lines:
'The soft melody that he played
Made the old wind cry on that day
The very last time his hands swayed'

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
344
344
Review of Lost  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
I like your thoughts on finding yourself and letting go of the past.

I think most have felt like this at some point in their lives and will identify with this.

My favorite part:
'Now it seems I'm neither here nor there
Caught between the present and past'

Suggestions/Errors:
This title is used often, maybe try for a title that will draw your readers in.

suggestions from your poem:
Two Faces
Neither Here Nor There
Finding Home

What's destined to be is yet unclear
I would cut yet in this line.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
345
345
Review of My First Love  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Your rating, title and genres are good.
This is a great tribute to the love you shared.

Suggestions/Errors:
Your first two lines are a little weird together, I'd suggest cutting the 2nd line.

Your poem reads a little choppy.
The below should all help with the flow of your poem.

Watch your repetition of words and thoughts.
ex
stanza 1 you have he 4 times,

I could not sleep, I could not eat
try

I could not sleep or eat

The only man I ever loved
We shared our love
We shared our dreams
try
The only man I ever loved
We shared our dreams

With gentle smile on his face
A little awkward maybe add a after with or change smile to smiles.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
346
346
Review of Fireside Story  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Your title, rating and genres are good.

Your story is creepy and suspenseful.
You kept my attention throughout.

Suggestions/Errors:
This is not my usual genre to read and I know it's supernatural but I was left with questions.

I think you should add more at the ending about the ghost and him going with her....the transition there is lacking.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
347
347
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Your title, rating and genres are good.
Your first para is strong and makes your reader want to know more.
This is sad and the emotions throughout are very tangible.

Suggestions/Errors:
I wonder if I a replacement, an attempt to fill a gap that can never be filled.
I think you are missing something here.
Did you mean:
I wonder if I am a replacement, an attempt to fill a gap that can never be filled

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
348
348
Review of Atoms  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
I like your title and how you use it in your poem.

'I am my own worst enemy,'
Great line and we usually are!

I like this part the best:
'And I don't know why I'm terrified
by the world that I can see,'

Things do tend to repeat and I like how you show this repetition!

Suggestions/Errors:
Add some genres.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
349
349
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Leaf4*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Leaf1* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title and rating are appropriate.

My favorite part is this reminder that we don't know when it will be too late...
'Tell your friends before you go,
Or you too will have your head low. '

*Leaf2* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
Add some genres to your item, they can help it get exposure.

So thats why we shouldn't be so glum.
that's

Do not weep for known who choose not,
(This is a little confusing.)

I'd work on some of the rhyme choices you have...
not/knot;
ever/over; complete/bleak

Keep writing. Always, Tammy

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350
350
Review of Wildflowers  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Thanks for entering my contest
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

Unique way to do your poem, all lines starting with W.
I like the last line, it's great!

Keep writing,
Tammy
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