I've read this poem before, but I can't recall whether I've reviewed it before.
It's an excellent bit of writing! The imagery is vivid and precise. The theme is universal --- thoughts and emotions of one person loving another and being crushed to see that other person loving a third. IMHO, the sharpest shape in the world is the love triangle.
This poem builds to a crescendo of disappointment and envy, and this crescendo builds in me some questions.
Is it, perhaps, better to be disappointed now rather than later, since even in this dancer's presence, "her" entrance is a distraction to the partner?
How likely is it that "she" who enters will one day envy the one who danced away from future (and perhaps more bitter) disappointment?
Those questions came to my mind, but I won't ask them openly.
The overall result is an excellent, thought-provoking and emotionally charged read. So, dance on with life!
THIS I like!! LoL
There is a fine line between life and satire, and I always love to see that line used as a jumprope! Very impressive! Seriously funny!
First off, I love the way this poem begins! The crossover rhyme between 'year' and 'here' is very creative. I'm a big fan of iambic metre, so it's natural that the frist lines are my favourites. I feel a leaning toward iambic metre throughout, and I believe that this is one of the strong points of the work.
The repeated line "I have my faith and my faith is me" is an elegantly direct statement of both being and purpose. It makes a strong and simple statement that takes us right to the soul of the writer. The first instance of the line is a basic statement of being, and the second instance reaffirms and sublimates the first.
There is an innocense in this poem that a cynic might call naivete but a believer would call devotion.
The iambic opening lines make me wonder how these thoughts and words would come through, completely in iambic.
Overall, a very accomplished work. The more so, as I read that this is an early work.
Ambivalent describes very well my feelings about writing this review, and I have good reasons for feeling that way.
My first reason for feeling as I do about this work is the fact that IMHO this is very well written from a technical point of view. There is little I can offer by way of suggestion, and it has always been my belief that one should not try to improve upon that which is already perfect. It has oft been my experience that "too perfect" can easily be "imperfect." So, I offer no suggestion which might only serve to detract from a great bit of writing.
My second reason for my mixed feelings here is that I consider this author to be a good friend, but I have not been a good friend, here or elsewhere on WdC. I've been absent for an extended period, when I should have been present and providing moral support, if nothing else, for my friends. So even though I want to offer my thoughts and be supportive, I feel like the old fire brigade which arrives late at the fire. Using the hoses to wash away the ashes is not as helpful as using them to extinguish the fire and save lives and property. That's probably an odd analogy, but it's pretty much the way I feel about this.
My third reason for having mixed feelings about writing this review involves the subject matter. This is non-fiction and it's a matter of deeply emotional events. I tread softly, therefore. I have been at various times in all of the roles in this story. Dancing with one's own emotions usually yields a clearer perspective on everything, but the perspective is also usually painful.
I give you then, only my thoughts as to the author and as to the way my thoughts reflect on the story.
I've said that this story is very well written, and so it is. That in itself speaks volumes. It tells me that this author possesses an inner strength and that this strength is considerable. To write well of events which are obviously painful, is a difficult task. This writer has written well, in the midst of pain and uncertainty. Only the best and strongest of writers are able to do so. As I read this through the first time (of five or six reads), I was keenly aware that the author was experiencing stronger and stronger emotions as the story was written. In spite of (or perhaps because of) those ever more powerful feelings, this author has continued to write and write well. That's an impressive feat!
The integrity and the forgiving nature of this writer is extremely obvious. Even though the writer must have been (and perhaps still is) inwardly screaming at the torment of betrayal, we read this, "For my story, to protect their identity, ..." Having felt horribly wronged by the boyfriend, the best friend, and many other friends, the author still works to protect those who caused such pain! IMHO that's integrity and that's forgiveness!
It's a powerful statement of this author's strength and her dedication to the story. What higher praise can we give a writer? Indeed, what higher praise can we offer any human being?
I oft direct my reviews toward the writer. In this case, I'll direct them toward this writer's audience.
This article is IMHO one of the most definitive and well-written articles available to anyone who wishes to be a true poet and who is willing to learn and work toward becoming such.
I have learned a great deal from this article and I believe that anyone else who reads it will learn much as well. The ideas are presented point-by-point in a clear and well-organized manner. The wording is concise but deals with each point fully and with excellent focus.
The article covers a broad range of topics unique to the writing of poetry, but several points may also be applied to the writing of prose with immense benefit.
The style the author used is that of a friendly and knowledgeable tutor. Nothing about this is meretricious. I come away with a feeling of having sat beside a craftsman as he explained to me, a novice, the various elements of writing a review of poetry. By extension, I also gained insight into my writing of poetry itself.
My only regret is that I can't comment on every individual point the author has made here. Every point is well made and well corroborated by the author by showing the connection to every other point and to the overall process of writing poetry. I've not followed any of the links, but they're there. I will definitely look into the items the author referenced as I'm able. If this is not a perfect guide for reviewers of poetry, it comes wonderfully close!
This is a wonderously cute little tale for children!! I'll be smiling all morning, and when my surrogate grandbaby wakes up I'm going to read this to her and her parents!
Technically, this is flawless except for a couple of tiny spelling errors (*typing* errors?) which in no way diminish the charm.
My grandbaby will be spellbound by this lovely tale, as will any child who reads this or hears it read to them.
I've read two works by this author. Both are very forthright and honest. The powerful imagery obviously comes from deep in the soul of the writer. The imagery is bordered by a somewhat raw edge like an artist creating great masterpieces with a stick. Both works I've read are very readable and speak to common places in all of us. Still, I cant help but wonder what opus magnum might pour forth from this artist if a brush were used as a supplement to the stick. That stick scratches out the harsh realities we need to see, but a brush could soften the edges to remind us that not all is hopeless. This is a soul expressing itself as poetry. That's a great beginning to poetry from the soul, and that would be great poetry indeed!
This is a perfectly marvelous little tale of absolute fantasy!! Yet, I see strands of wisdom in it as well. It was delightful to read and it sparked many bright thoughts in my mind!
There are only very few technical issues, and none are so glaring as to detract from the story at all.
I am very much impressed by this story and by this author!!
The flow of precise logic in this work is reminiscent of the writing of John Donne (among my favourite writers), as is the use of very complex sentences. This is definitely writing of classical excellence.
I perceive a paradox of aloof intimacy here. It's as though the author has something tearing at her from within, and chooses quite deliberately to voice it with an affectedly dispassionate tone. That tone is quite intriguing, even to the point of mesmerization.
This is the first item I've ever read by this author, and I am very anxious to read more.
I love thinking and I love being challenged to think. This work challenged me and gave me substance to think about. It's obvious that some serious thought; some serious contemplation went into it from its very conception or even before that. It's just my kind of read!
I have little to say about the technical aspects of this piece other than the individual metaphors are very effective. The line "In cathedrals of a milky way" brings to my mind images of cathedrals filled with hundreds of lit candles. The line before it works very well, too. Eyes take in light but also reflect light, which is a key theme in this work. While our souls shine here as we gaze at the stars, the souls of the universe are shining above as they gaze down at us, for we and the stars are kindred beings at our most basic level. Very nice theme!
The rhyme pattern here works quite well, but what I like most about this limerick is the tone of seemingly good-humoured resignation to simple circumstances. The afterthought-like voice I hear says, "Ah well. So much for that idea." Very nice little poem!
I'm strange and unusual. I love most things that are strange and unusual --- except myself. So, I am definitely going to check out "My Pink Half of the Drainpipe" and other songs by The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band!
The poem itself is "cool", but don't discount the importance of writing poetry. This little piece not only spoke of family; it gave them a sort-of second life apart from the one they live --- in my mind. You have made them into more than people. You've made them into inspirations for yourself and for other writers, myself included.
I swim in the Red Sea --- of necks. So, I understand the various referrences herein. I also understand and appreciate the colloquial humour. This poem comes across well in blank verse, but I can't help wondering how it would come across in full verse. Gool ol' iambic would work, but anapest might be even better. You definitely have a creative sense of humour and good visualization!
Absolutely amazing sonnet!!
I love the way this poem flows in waves. It moves from the scene of tranquil love that fills the first quatrain into the second, which contains two waves itself. It moves from duty to beauty, which I see as a wonderful juxtaposition. The third quatrain echoes the form of the second, moving from tasks to the balance between work and play, and the love which lifts the mundane to the heights of human experience. The couplet pulls the whole poem into a harmony as beautiful as the ocean waves, as the couplet of a sonnet should. It also continues the peaceful ebb and flow that the poet establishes from the beginning of the sonnet.
This sonnet comes as close to my idea of perfect poetry as any contemporary work I've ever read!
To begin my review, I want to say that I never review *anything* I don't feel has IMHO, some merit. The key point there being IMHO. If I become critical at some point, please know that I am offering my honest *opinions* on ways to make something good into something even better.
I read this piece because anxiety is something I understand far more than I would like. I have lived in a fog of anxiety for many years.
The thing that first struck me about this piece is its straight-forward honesty. It is couched in language interesting enough to draw the reader in without a lot of fanciness and flourishes. It is obviously written from soul-deep emotions, but it appears to be the writer's intent to turn those chaotic emotions into orderly and tangible form. In this, it succeeds well. It also seems to be a way for the writer to externalize inner torments and to draw strength from the power of sharing. "A burden shared is half a burden". I for one am quite honoured to help the author bear this one.
The tone here is one of dark hopelessness, which is a state I am also too familiar with on a personal level. I would point out that hope, to one in such a state, is like the shore to one who is drowning. No matter how vast the waters or how dark, the shore and hope are always there. It is up to us to swim toward it, knowing that while we swim, we breathe; when we give up and stop, we sink. We're always much better off to swim than to allow ourselves to sink. In time, swimming through the hopeless sea becomes a form of hope in itself.
This piece seems to me to be a splash made by the author while swimming. I hope that the author continues to make more splashes until the shore is reached.
I won't say anything about the technical aspects of this work, except that I think this writer has much potential. I leave it to the writer to develop that potential or to ignore it: to swim onward toward the beachlights or to yield to darkness. I hope to read happiness written on the beach at some point.
That's my humble opinion.
I've read this more than once, but I don't think I ever reviewed it. Now's my chance!
I have nowt negative to comment.
On the positive side, I love the way all the noise and fear and pain and chaos are calmed by "the reflection of your eyes/ where I find my tranquility." It is such an elegant and pleasant resolution to a life-changing event. What might have been a life-destroying event was revealed to be a life renewing event.
Such a cute little poem for young children!!
Big happy puppies are a favourite of most youngsters, so finding a puppy at the end will delight the young. I can picture myself reading this poem to my grandkids.
There doesn't seem to be a perfectly consistent meter, but that works very nicely for this poem. The lilting flow is just right for young folk.
Outstanding writing!!
The subject is broad in scope and yet applicable to every individual from the beginning of the world to date and beyond. I agree completely with the idea that random events and circumstances are not what shapes a person, but that one is shaped largely by one's own will.
Technically, the poem is very impressive! The iambic tetrameter gives a pleasant cadence while preserving the factual tone. In a couple of lines, the poet seems to have worked to hold the meter, but did an excellent job of it. The second verse differs very obviously from the first and third. The single anapest in the first line of that verse was likely unavoidable. I'm puzzled about the switch from tetrameter to bimeter, unless the poet meant to vary the entire verse to minimize the effect of the single anapest.
Overall, the poem is meaningful and the writing nicely concise. An outstanding read!
The visualization here is great, as is the use of metaphor. I believe I understand the situation quite well, and I hope that the freedom you mentioned has been achieved or is rapidly forthcoming. Good read on multiple levels.
The first word in the third line sums this up for me. The whole poems leaves me fearfully expecting some unknown outcome, in spite of phrases like "hoping you'll discover me", "safe and warm", and "has found her home". There is an unsettling tentativeness here, as though a pleasance must soon end reluctantly but of necessity.
There seems to be a departure here from the author's other works. "Stowaway" displays the passion I see in the writer's other poems, but the boldness is more subdued. The intense heat now rests in brightly glowing coals rather than in a brilliant and all-consuming conflagration. The soul of the poet is here, as is the technical expertise, and it's empowering me to follow the author from the fireside to the dining table. Very meaningful poetry which reaches the reader on several emotional levels.
Only an addict can understand addiction. I understand too well, having been there myself.
This poem does a spectacular job of capturing the full nature and essence of addiction, but only an addict can release that essence.
Many addictions can lead to a person's destruction, but only addiction to another heart can build someone up to destruction.
I'm truly awed by your mastery of words and the clarity of your visions! Your mind's eye seems to be that of a master classic author. You somehow turn emotions and thoughts into tangible realities! Truly amazing!
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