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13,132 Public Reviews Given
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Public Reviews
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501
501
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hello there, Mercury-Jane Ann.
You don't say how old you are, but I'm guessing your rather young. If that's the case, then young love doesn't really need to be explained! Like all love, it's something that should come naturally, which is apparently how feel about this girl. And saying you don't deserve something like her isn't true at all! We're all deserving of love, but it helps if that love is reciprocated (returned). One sided love just doesn't work!
There's quite a few grammar niggles in this, but I won't bring them up because it the main subject of this that really counts. And I think if you wanted to, you could go back over this and spot them!
By the way, I'm glad that you're expressing your feelings!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Mercury-Jane Ann, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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502
502
Review of Ben’s adventure  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there, Sue!
For a short flash fiction piece, this isn't bad. I like how you waited until the very end to add the horror that was down in the mud at the bottom of the river, just waiting. And waiting...*Smirk2*
I've never lived in places where they have crocodiles, but it makes me seriously wonder about people who do. Here in the States we still have folks who take their dogs for walks along lake shores, and instead of the dog becoming crocodile s**t (as you so perfectly described it! *Laugh*), it's the dog walker!
Great spelling and grammar, and your descriptions of Ben's surroundings were excellent, but I did spot one niggle (sorry to be so picky!):
'One daily task he did for Macca(,) was to collect bait fish...' (don't need that comma)
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Good luck in the contest, and have a great day!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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503
503
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Wuzzup, NordicNoir?
This is great, and I applaud your sense of humor! I did NOT see that ending coming!
Like Buddy, I too had to leave my childhood home after my dad died, and it truly was a sad experience. I remember walking through it one last time and thinking of the memories I had there, and it even hurts to think about it now! The new owners changed a lot of things to the house, and those things can't ever come back.
But as for Buddy leaving his mark on his old home (territory, anyway) before his owners grabbed him? Right on, my friend!
'I didn’t want to break in a new mailman.' (*Laugh* Yeah, breaking in a new mailman is tough, ain't it?)
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! It was a pleasure to read, and once again, welcome to WdC!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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504
504
Review of Moving  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Bon jour, Sue!
Well, you certainly got the twisted/surprise ending in there, didn't you? *Laugh*
Seriously, I did not see that coming, but I'm sure Jeff and Mary weren't the first folks this has happened to.
I like how you told this with Les and Stan being less that reputable movers, and Mary was more than right when she said they should have had more men for the job. I've helped move a lot of people in my day (including myself), but even I know my limits!
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot one niggle (sorry to be so picky!):
"...pair of hands with that piano(.)” Stan said, looking at Jeff. (should be a comma)
Otherwise, good job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Sue! Have a great day, and good luck in the contest!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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505
505
Review of Have a Heart  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hello there, NordicNoir!
This is pretty good for a flash fiction piece, and I can see how it won the contest. Congratulations! Arakun the Twisted Raccoon loves twisted/surprise endings, and this piece certainly had that!
I like Mark’s idea of getting revenge on his soon-to-be exwife for her making him think that Tyler was his son, and having him fix her car so his son could get her heart was pretty dark. I also like the twist you gave us (or at least me) earlier; you said ‘Mark knew what he had to do’, and at first I thought he was going to kill himself and give him HIS heart.
The spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!), and you did great job with the word prompts. The only thing I noticed that didn’t quite make sense was that at the beginning you said ‘It had never occurred to Mark that Tyler wasn’t his son.’ But later Michele apparently had his DNA tested and Mark found out. I can only assume this happened while their marriage was breaking up, right?
I’ve entered this contest a lot of times, and I know it’s not easy to squeeze a whole ‘story’ in using just 300 words, so I can’t really fault you there.
Regardless, it was still a cool (and dark *Smirk2*) story!
Kee ponw ritin gon, NordicNoir, and welcome to WdC!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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506
506
Review of Time Traveler  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there, Normajean!
This is the type of paranormal I was looking for. The concept of somebody just suddenly appearing out of nowhere and sitting beside you in your car is pretty unique (as far as I know anyhow), but that isn't what makes this piece 'tick'. It's what he said there at the last that was so disturbing!
Sadly though, the stranger DID take all the fun out of your life by giving you that answer! Methinks he should have just said, "Who knows? We might..." *Smirk2*
You know. Just to kind of keep you on your toes...
I'm kidding. Seriously though, it would be creepy to know your own future. Would you like to know when and how you were going to die? Dang! I might have a story there...
Anywho, nice job, Normajean!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and have a fantastic day/weekend!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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507
507
Review of Nature's Way  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there, Soldier Mike!
This is a touching little piece about a wounded baby bird and how a mother and daughter tried to take care of it, and you did an excellent job of writing it. The reader can feel the mother’s emotion as she tries to do what the veterinarian told her ‘was the best way’, meaning to put it out of its misery, but apparently she can’t bring herself to do it (or tell her daughter what the vet said). To be honest, I don’t think I could have done it either.
Don’t get me wrong; yes, children have to know the cruel lessons of life, but at what age? You didn’t mention how old Gretchen was here, so I’m assuming she was quite young. Which is why the mother probably decided to just let Nature take its course and put it back out there in the bushes. Fortunately, everything worked out and the baby bird lived.
Or did it?
Judging from those last three sentences, I’m betting it did!
Well done, Mike!
I don’t know how this did in the contest, but it would have been a winner in my book!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and have a marvelous day/evening/tomorrow!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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508
508
Review of A Box of Weeds  Open in new Window.
for entry "Jolene's Revenge" Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Bon jour, Jenny!
This is pretty good for a flash fiction piece, but I wasn't exactly sure about the ending.
At first!
I guess I got Richey and Tom mixed up there for a moment, and that part about the first round of 'love' was also a bit confusing. Suffice it to say that I wasn't sure what 'gift' Richey had received.
But then the epiphany set in and I figured it out! So subtle, yet so obvious! *FacePalm*
Jolene is a real b***h, isn't she? *Laugh* And after the 'help' Richey did for her?
Well done, Jenny! The spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!), and you did a great job with the prompt phrase!
Kee ponw ritin gon, have a wonderful day, and good luck in the contest!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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509
509
Review of Prayermantis  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ahoy, Robin!
This is a neat little poem, and I like the idea behind it. My grandmother knew a lot of old wives tales (not that this is a wives tale!), but I never heard of this one.
What I enjoyed most about this (besides the subject) was the rhythm of it. It has a happy 'flow', and the words just make it that much more happier!
I'll admit I was curious why you mentioned 'authors' headed your way, instead of 'publishers', but then I remembered that your a publisher yourself! Duh! *FacePalm*
Well done, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Robin! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and have a wonderful day!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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510
510
Review of Path  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hello there, Unforgiven.
After reading your portfolio introduction, I can see that this is obviously an analogy of your life and all the paths you've taken and not taken in it so far.
Please don't be depressed, my friend. Nobody has ever taken all the right paths in their lives, but I can tell that you're a very strong person (regardless of what you think!).
You made some really strong points in this, whether you know it or not. 'I never give up.' 'I walked with the biggest hope and excitement.' 'Yet, I'm still walking...'
And you can see new paths coming along your way!
Life is full indecision, but just because you might make the wrong one once in a while doesn't mean you make the right on next time!
Hang in there, my friend! And if you get tired, just sit down by another willow tree, watch the shooting stars again, and take a breather! There's no need to rush through this life!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Unforgiven, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write (for whatever reason!), then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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511
511
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ahoy, Winchester!
Dang, my friend! You are a very gifted story teller, and you have my utmost admiration! For only 501 words, you created a beautiful piece. It's kind of mix between a memoir and a folktale (there's a real word I'm looking for here, but I'll be damned if I can think of it right now!).
There really are rivers like this that appear every so often, mostly in the dryer parts of New Mexico and Nevada where they only get rain every so often, but when they do, it floods big time!
I love the idea of this Jason Pete loving the river so much that he wanted his ashes tossed into it, as did his daughters. And then to have you go over that Niagara Falls at the end so you could be with them when you knew your time was up was beautiful in its own sentimental way. You finally understood what the old man was talking about.
This gives me the same feeling I had when I wrote my short story "TIME" Open in new Window. for some reason. At least that's the type of story I was trying to think of earlier.
Great job, my friend! My only suggestion would be to expand on this--perhaps give it a little more detail--but then again, why mess with it if it's fine just the way it is? That's exactly why I've never expanded on most of my own stories!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Winchester! 'Twas truly a pleasure to read, and have a fantastic day!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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512
512
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Greetings, Noa!
I like this. It’s a really sentimental, nostalgic piece, and I can see that it comes from your heart and how much your grandfather meant to you. Those references to Blueberry Lake and the trips you two took to them to fish really stand out, and it’s a great tribute to a man you miss and admire.
But no matter what, please know that you are very blessed to at least have those memories!
I remember catching my first trout with my own grandfather in California when I was about 7 years old, and it’s something I’ll never forget. It was on an old fly rod, and as soon as I hooked it I jerked it out of the water so hard it went flying over my head! Seriously!
You don’t have your bio up yet so I don’t know how old you are, but as far as Heaven ‘taking’ your grandfather away, that’s just something we all have to go through.
There’s a few grammar and spelling mistakes in this, but I’ll only touch on one major one. The main thing is the subject of this, anyway.
‘roaster’ should be ‘rooster’
Well done, Noa. Your grandfather is indeed looking down and reading this, and I guarantee you he’s smiling at those memories!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Noa, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you’re going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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513
513
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi there, Kåre Enga!
I thought this was really cool, and I can see why it got Honorable Mention in the FF contest. Congratulations, although I think it should have won!
Even for a short FF like this, you didn’t waste any time getting to the action in this with those passengers freaking out about that gremlin, and you did an excellent job of using that prompt phrase. I also like how brought it full circle by starting out at Dolly’s Donuts and ending it there. I don’t know why, but those types of stories have always appealed to me, as do twisted/surprise endings, which in this case was the icing on the cake!
One tiny niggle:
‘Sticking it's tongue out.’ (its)
Otherwise, bravo, my friend!
One question though: you never did say what exactly that gremlin was waving. I guess I could use my imagination...*Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Kåre! Thanks for sharing this, and have a wonderful day/flight!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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514
514
Review of Ugly  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hello there, Beholden!
I thought this was great! I write horror, but I also love comedy and trolls, because like Grubmuncher (love that name), I don't they get enough respect!
I knew this was comedy, but from the way this was going, I thought those humans were going to shoot him, considering the way the were acting. But you sent it down a whole different road, and a funny road it was!
I love the descriptions you used to describe Grub as he wandered through the forest enjoying Nature and all she has to share. And that part about him 'melting into the shadows of the trees' was a nice touch! Kudos on that!
But to mistaken for an ogre? Wow! That IS bad! *Laugh*
Well done, my friend! Great use of the prompt phrase, and the spelling and grammar were flawless (thank you!).I'm surprised this didn't win the FF contest!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and have a marvelous evening/tomorrow!
PS-You now have new fan!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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515
515
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Buenos dias, B Scholl!
This isn't bad for a short FF piece, and not only was it humorous, it also makes a sad commentary about what's happening to today's youth! Unfortunately, there really are kids like this who practically live for their video games! That seems to be all they care for, and everything can fall by the wayside!
Good job with the prompt phrase, and the spelling and grammar were well done, but I did spot one tiny niggle:
'Her familiar ringtone pierced the quiet(,) indicating a text had arrived.'
Otherwise, well done!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Have a great day, and good luck in the contest!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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516
516
Review of The Drift  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Bon jour, Sir Bill!
I'm surprised I've never seen this in your portfolio before, so I'm glad you put it out on the Newsfeed!
For a short piece, this is another of your fantastical horror pieces, and to be able to write something like this about something so mundane just once again shows your talent!
Bravo!
Your descriptions were excellent. The reader can feel Jon's fear as this/these drifts gradually overtake his cabin, and then to have them actually get inside just made it all the more creepier. I especially enjoyed that line about him being 'in the belly of the beast.'
A sad ending, but what else could he do?
Great job, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Bill! 'Twas a pleasure to read (as always), and have a fantastic day!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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517
517
Review of Fat  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Bon jour again, Rduane!
This is a very well written—albeit a bit odd—piece, but I like the way your mind works.
I like this idea of Mrs. Grimm teaching a classfull of morbidly obese children who have obviously inherited their parent’s eating habits (nice touch with that ‘drool’ comment!), but I’m not sure how their weight and dim wittedness have any connection. I think that’s a stereotype that really doesn’t have any basis, but I see your point.
I was also a little confused about Lucy and her dead mouse and how that worked into this, unless it was just filler.
I did like the ending, though; if there was any connection between those kids drooling and her safety (think cannibalism here*Smirk2*), then she was smart to get the hell out there while she still could!
One thing I noticed was that there’s a few more commas in this than you need. For example:
‘Pulling out of the parking lot, Mrs. Grimm headed north(,) for about sixteen blocks...’
Comments:
‘a Musca domestica assault’? *Laugh*
‘After a few minutes of immersion in a conversational pool of flatulence and professional wrestling...’ *Shock2*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Rduane! Thanks for the chuckles, and have a great day!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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518
518
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Bon jour, Boilerman, and happy 12th (WOW!) 'birthday' on here!
This is a nice nostalgic piece that brings me back to my own childhood, and I'm proud to say that yes, I do remember many of those shows! I also grew up on Captain Kangaroo (I can still remember Mr. Moose asking knock knock jokes of the Captain and all those ping pong balls falling on him!)
I was born in 1965, and although I wasn't around for Howdy Doody (or not old enough?), I do have minor memories of Petticoat Junction. Gunsmoke and My Favorite Martian, too. And who would think that Vinnie Bobarino would wind up on the big screen as the King of Disco in Saturday Night Fever?
Wow! I'm older than I thought! I just had my 54th birthday Tuesday, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised.
Great job, Boilerman! Thanks for the memories!
One tiny niggle:
'a quick change of chanel' (channel)
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

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519
Review of Coding  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Greetings, Vicda!
This isn't bad for your first piece on here.
I started to take computer programming in college, but sadly I didn't last the semester. I do know a bit about it though, so I understand some of this.
You did a good job of showing Victor's relief first at finishing his 'session', and then his frustration and sadness after he watches all that hard work (and his 'dream') just disappear on the screen right before his eyes. I know his computer didn't crash, per se, but I know how he feels.
As for the technology of coding and whatnot, a few years ago they came out with a speech program that would recognize your voice and do the typing for you! You didn't even have to touch the keys-it was all done by your voice alone. I tried it, but it takes a while to clearly recognize your speech and speech patterns.
Anyway, good job!
One tiny niggle:
"It's finally done.", he says to himself. ('done," he says')
Kee ponw ritin gon, Vicda, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Hello there, Mystery Box, and happy 1st ‘birthday’ on here!
Being a major Stephen King fan and seeing this title, there was no way I couldn’t read and review this, and I’m glad I did!
This is different. Good, but different.
That first paragraph kind of threw me at first because you made it so believable, and I was still believing it most of the way through. But I think this is more fantasy than little S.K.’s daydream since I don’t think he liked his babysitter too much. Then again, Mr. King has a rather twisted imagination, so it doesn’t surprise too much!
Writing this in the first point of view was a good idea, and the spelling was great.
Comment and suggestion:
‘I flew through the air like a rocket and fell with all the grace of the Challenger.’ (excellent metaphor!)
‘...so you can finally ride a bike(.)” Annie said.’ (should be a comma)
Otherwise, good job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, MB, and may you have many more ‘birthdays’ on WdC!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

Angus Hand


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Review of A Blade of Grass  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Bill!
I used to cut firewood for a living, and I’ve seen some things in the woods that a ‘city-slicker’ couldn’t even imagine. I’m also a huge lover of Nature, and this piece makes think of that old adage, “Some folks can’t see the forest for the trees’. Just as you say that some folks will only see the field and the dew, those who truly appreciate Nature and all its beauty will see those billions of prisms reflecting the dew’s view!
Very well done, my friend, and I can understand why it won that 2nd place ribbon in the contest! At first I was thinking you could expand on this, but on second thought I think it’s best just as it is with its simplicity!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Bill! Thanks for sharing this, and have a wonderful day!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Laugh  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Greetings, Kumar!
I'm no expert on poetry, but I thought this was great! The meter seemed good, and the rhyming words weren't bad either.
But it was the subject that I liked best. As your last line says, laughter is the best medicine, and considering the way the world is these days, that's probably what we need the most of, right behind LOVE!
Well done, my friend! You have a nice outlook on life!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Kumar, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Thanks  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Greetings, Juul!
This is a little different for your first piece on here, but I do understand it!
A lot of people are scared of their ego being hurt, and because of this they tend to put others down who they think might be better than them. Therefore, you're telling them that the only thing their criticisms did was made you better, albeit in a bit of sarcastic manner. But that's to be expected after what they did to you!
People who don't believe in you are NOT your friends, as I'm sure you know, which is why this piece is appropriately titled.
It's a little short, but overall, not bad.
Kee ponw ritin gon (Keep on writing on), Juul, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of The Cat's Cradle  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Bon jour, NordicNoir!
This is pretty good. Although the idea of somebody visiting a certain place that has been gone for years isn’t exactly unique, you still put your own touch on this and did a good job of telling it. The Cat’s Cradle, eh? Yeah, that sounds like a perfect name for those ‘cats’ to get down with their jazz music!
The spelling and grammar were excellent (thank you!), but I did spot one tiny niggle:
‘I hollered to a(n) old man walking along the street.’
Otherwise, well done! I also like the dialect you used for that cabbie.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you’re going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Toys... HELP!  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Bon jour, Katrina, and happy early 9th WdC ‘birthday’ on here!
This is pretty neat! Limericks and free verse are my two favorite styles of poetry (to read, not write! I can’t write poetry worth a dang!), and I thought you did a great job with this. It’s a little short, so I’m guessing you had a line limit. It’s sweet, simple, and to the point.
This reminds me of a poem I wrote when I was about 12 years old (when I thought I could write poetry!) that parodied ‘Twas the night before Christmas. My bedroom was a disaster and I knew my grandmother, who helped me raise me, was coming to clean it. The poem actually turned out pretty well, and I wish I still had it. My dad found it and showed it to my grandmother and they both thought it was great.
The only thing I remember about it was the opening stanza:
‘Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the gloom,
The mice were not stirring,
There just wasn’t room’
Anyhow, great poem!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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