Let go of the rail!

don't let things drag you down

Some of the greatest truths in life’s journey are demonstrated by daily life, not taught by parents or teachers. The lessons can be difficult or painful but always needed and right there in front of you. To get these life instructions, you need only to look around and reflect on what you see.

My wife, Kathy, and I were in a shopping mall years ago, just wasting time and feeling a bit down. There was no reason for this “down-ness;” we just felt a bit lonely and felt somewhat abused by people we knew.

The mall was a large one that had a three-story escalator and elevator at its center food court. The escalator was impressive, with the up and down options being next to each other. We couldn’t leave without trying this monster out.

There were only a few people on the up escalator, as we started on the top floor going down so we looked forward to a relaxing trip (as the speed was slow) and there was a panoramic view of the mall.

As we were on our way down, two women with a small child between them were on their way up. They were chatting away and did not seem to be paying much attention to their ride.

Suddenly, the escalator gave a little jerk. We had been holding the hand rail so it didn’t have much effect on us. But, one of the two women started to lose her balance and reached ahead of herself to grab the handrail to steady herself.
Because the up and down stairs were only separated by a few inches, it was easy mistake for the woman who was falling forward to reach a little too far and grab the down rail, which immediately started to pull her backward as she was passing us.

Kathy, who had been watching the women and child, said loudly, “Let go of the rail!”

The woman who had a white-knuckled grip on the wrong railing, yelled in a panic-stricken voice, “What?!”.

Kathy quickly repeated, “Let go of the rail!”

But the woman didn’t let go and, before anything could be done, was pulled off her feet, falling backward down the escalator. Luckily, she didn’t fall far before two teenage boys that had been behind her grabbed her, preventing any serious injury. But, even at that point, they had to pull her hand off the offending rail.

We arrived at the bottom of the escalator, stepped off into the food court, and just looked at each other for a few seconds.

“What was that about?” asked Kathy. “She didn’t get that the rail was pulling her off her feet. All she had to do was let go.”

I said, “It looked like she panicked and couldn’t think. It reminds me of how they catch monkeys.”

“What do you mean?” Said Kathy.

“I’ve heard that they put a piece of fruit in a jar with a small neck. When the monkey puts his hand in to get the fruit, he can’t fit the hand holding the fruit out. But the monkey won’t let go of the fruit to get away and is caught.”

“But she is not a monkey and could see that the rail was pulling her off balance.”

“I guess that 'reflex' not 'thought' made her grab the rail and fail to let it go. There wasn’t time for her to process what was happening. But all of this seems to highlight a much bigger truth.”

Kathy stopped, looked at me, and said, “What Big Truth?”

“I’m not sure how to say it, but something like – When something is dragging you down – let go of it,” I said with squinted eyes. “You knew without a thought to tell her to let go, but she couldn’t hear and respond to you. I look back in my life and can see many times that I could not or would not let go of something, an identity, a behavior, or even people that were preventing or interfering with me and my life. I can also see that eventually, when life forced me to give up whatever or whoever was doing me harm, the memory of the harm still had some control over me. How about you?”

“I know what you mean. I have been in similar situations and not only can’t seem to let go but most of the time don’t realize l am holding onto people or behaviors that are harming me. So how does one stop that?”

“I’m not sure, but that woman and the escalator make me want to know how to escape that outcome. Like that woman, I need to see what is dragging me down and understanding that know enough to LET IT GO!”
Strangely enough, most of the time, it is not about doing something but stopping doing something, and stopping doing something can be very difficult. Life, being as complicated as it is, requires routines to be nearly automatic. Touching a hot stove would mean a serious burn if we had to realize the stove was hot before pulling away our hand. But our reflexes save us from many of these kinds of injuries.

Unfortunately, our reflexes, which can save us from short-term pain, can interfere with our understanding of what is necessary for dealing with longer term problems. It seems that living mostly on reflexes will make things worse because we don’t consider meaningful solutions to problems.
So, it would seem that once a reflex has saved an immediate problem, a meaningful resolution to a problem must be considered not reflex. A middle ground between reflex and considered action sounds important. Experience, overtime creates a reflexive action under certain circumstances.

In short, when something is pulling you down, LET GO of it!