Walk With God

This generation demands peace in the nation...

Word Count: 6217

“Do you remember Mr. Quigley?”
“You mean the wiggly tickly Quickley and his affinity for Bulgarian cinema?”
“hahaha, was that what it was about? I always thought it was a free movie for the stoners. Don’t you remember him telling us about his 2001 experience?”
“There wasn’t a single white eye in the room…oh man, bam! And so thank you Quigley, because I didn’t learn a thing, but I did learn to appreciate all the bright colors of spring…”
“Oh come on Dilbert, I never touched that stuff. I will never forget how scared I was when you went through your stronger psychedelic stage.”
“Let’s not go there. I had to go through what I had to go through. Oh, did you have Father Ramnihoff by the way? A lot of people went through him to check off their religion requirement.”
“I did Ways of Knowing, with Professor Frank.”
“Ah ok. I heard he brought a gulp size 711 slushie to class every day.”
“You heard right.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, it was kinda intense. Especially at 8 in the morning on a Wednesday.”
“The one day when there were virtually no classes all week, yet for a handful of super obscure yet important classes.”
“Not fun, especially as a freshman.”
“Yeah. Well Father Ramnihoff is part of the reason we’re doing this, you know, right?”
“Dilbert, I mentioned this trip to you during Senior year after the Arab Uprising. My seminar took a brief detour into Israeli politics and when I told you about it –”
“I spoke with Father. And he mentioned the trail.”
“Really?”

“Yeah. For sure. I immediately brought you in on it, because I knew you would appreciate the trip from a political perspective, at a bare minimum. Can’t say I’ve quite converted you out of your vibrations and light theology just yet I don’t think.”
“You’re silly. You might be right about that. Especially since you were the one studying religion at the time. Hm. I could have sworn the topic came up when a student suggested Hamas would…you know, I really couldn’t tell you anymore. You’re probably right.”
“I am.”
“Great.”
Thus began the three-day escapade of Ariana Neptune and Dilbert Sayonoma on the Israel National Trail! It was the Summer of ’23 and the two had both agreed their careers could take a rest, for an extended weekend. Dilbert had already risen to the rank of Full tenured Professor as a prestigious liberal arts college in Massachusetts, while Ariana ran data analytics for a think tank in Washington. Their on-again, off-again friendship, was often sprinkled with brief texts of career updates. “Published two papers this week.” “Presented policy proposal to Biden’s HUD rep.” “Department chair for the next five years – busy, busy!” “Travelling to China for a cross-comparison of humans right during COVID lockdown.” Ad nauseum. There was always a meeting of the minds, and the show was really picking up steam.
They had just arrived on the north end of the trail and were going to stay a night at the local inn. The following nights would consist of bareback camping, which neither of them would ever fully embrace. Luxury’s last light for the couple. They were a pair of peas in a pod, they had been inseparable during their undergraduate days, in a locked stance cold war, stone silent competition for success. They brought out the very best in each other, and despite a few subliminal jarbs, they admired each other.
Ariana had just thrown out the 1.75 L wine bottle, and was lying in bed, unable to sleep. Dilbert took the hint and knew it was his bed time.
“Ooh, I just love the water, Dilbert! The texture, the temperature…it can be so soft and smooth, but also even brittle and rough.
You know?
Aaand I like that! hehe. The rough patterns of being thrashed around by the waves in a rain. Desperately seeking…pleaing…will it stop? But then the next thing you know – it is over. And you’re in the comfort of a warm shower. Possibly the same water as the ocean that nearly drowned you.

Ohh and – am I boring you?”
“Not at all. I’m so amazed by your ability to express yourself. It’s…beautiful. And thanks, for sharing with me.”
“Aww, thanks! You know, wait are you crying?”
“I’m overwhelmed with emotion. It’s experience. It’s not crying.”
“Are you suure? Are there not droplets of water exiting your eye, Mr. Sayanoma? Hehe. Aw and now you’re red!!”
Ariana Neptune caressed Dilbert’s face, stroking and pulling at his hair like a play thing.
They remained in this hold for several minutes.
“I went to Disney World when I was in pre-school. I must have been four. I had to be in a wheelchair the whole time. Wahhh, it’s not funny!! I couldn’t go on the rides. Even in our photos, there’s Ariana, in her wheelchair. Mee! You know what it was Dilbert? Dehydration. That water again! Never my friend. I don’t know the chemistry of it, but I’m not liking it. Now get me water! Haha. I had wine tonight.”
“Here you go. It’s not like you drank it all. We’ll have enough for every night.”
“You didn’t get me water Dilbert!”
“It’s right there on the floor,” he pointed.

“Ahh, I can’t reach! Meeee!!”
“Heh, I got it.”
“And stay here.”
She got up to go to the bathroom. Dilbert felt queasy. His heart was racing a little while his stomach tied itself in knots. 10 seconds he felt like an eternity. She was gone for two minutes.
“Oh, Dilby.”
He held his breath. He hated being called that. But. She was drunk. And he cracked a smile.
“Hi Nappy.”
“…what?”
It was a failed joke that no longer made sense to him. Fumble. And his “recovery” was 20 minutes of silence. Self-esteem crashing like the stock market. Ariana was now asleep, but he had an idea.
“Yo Big booy, grab me two shots of the 151!”
The hotel’s bar was just about to close, too. Was fate on his side?
“Roger that,” the goth bartender replied.
Dilbert drowned the drinks, took a few jumping jacks, and reengaged the night.
He found himself at Ariana’s bed poking her foot and thighs. His inhibitions yelled, “loser!” And he tried rubbing…as Ariana stirred to see his desirous eyes.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? Get out!!”
If there were a sure-fire way to lock yourself into friend zone, after 13 years of pathetic dribbling over dangling carrots, that night may have been it. Dilbert did not sleep that night. Nor would he for the remainder of the trip.

“Shall we hit the trail then, Dilby?”
Dibert awoke, startled, to the gentle rapture of a door knock. Gentle, delicate, then eager, then borderline zealous. Had she not just told him to go fuck himself last night? Hm. Perhaps her wording wasn’t that strong. He honestly didn’t remember, but he thought he had halted their trip. He pondered his options for a moment and elected for,
“Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute.”
He omitted his morning routine – prayer/meditation, a religious text reading, note and writing, and his most coveted lukewarm shower. It would have been his last time spreading Irish Spring over his body in abundant suds. Instead, the Israeli National Trail would have to tolerate his airport must sprinkled with the last remnants of his spicey Old Spring aftershave. Well, at least I won’t be walking alone, he thought.
He tapped at her door and waited at least five minutes before he realized that wasn’t Ariana’s green noise, it was her shower. He sighed and counted to ten. Having already returned his key, he was quarantined to the hotel lobby. Ariana marched down roughly twenty minutes later with a doe eyed apology on her face.
“Oh Dilby, I knew you’d be reading and drinking your special coffee concoctions so I figured I’d take the liberty to clean myself one last time. I felt so dirty.” And then she giggled as if she knew something that he didn’t.
“Oh, rm, yeah, right, well I was reading my mentee’s dissertation proposal and I got about twenty comments done, so I’d say thank you Ms. Neptune,” turning ever so slightly red in the face. He remained mostly quiet and to his thoughts over their breakfast. Ariana paid no mind as she mulled over her animated family texts. She had missed a day’s worth and now she was catching up with selfies over American style scrambled eggs and maple sausage.
Dilbert suppressed a groan and grabbed a second cup of coffee. He realized that he had to make conversation.
“How did you sleep?”
“Oh, so so. Not so good. I didn’t bring my melatonin with me and I think I tossed around for like three hours! It was awful Dilby. But, you know, I’ll sleep uninterrupted tonight.”
Dilbert, startled coughed air. He wasn’t sure if that were a subtle dig or not, but thought better of it. Instead, he opened up his backpack and gave her a handful of sleeping pills.
“Don’t tell Dr. Robert,” he whispered, and then smiled broadly.
Ariana giggled and embraced him, tenderly.
“Shall we hit the trail then?”

Several hours later and the two had already discussed micro-loans, collective effervescence, how Ariana had devised a way out of both capitalism and socialism, the origins of anthropology, and there might have been some room for silly, but that Dilbert had found himself in an excited diatribe:
“…when one look at the ultimate oneness of the faiths, natural theology from the Christian side is the perfect amalgamation of it all for me if you had forgotten, but when you look at that raw oneness, that all things come through us and without us, above is below, and the sun shines on all, that sort of thing. You know? And that propels a love, Ariana, a love. A pure love that comes from the divine source and, well, maybe that’s what we’re all made to do.”
He looked out at the barren, red hot trail, staring at the pile of tri-colored rocks that assured they were in the right direction.
“Do you remember when you dressed as the leprauchaun Halloween 20-
“Wait a minute, I don’t remember doing that, and if I did why would it be Halloween?”
“Oh that was the fun of it! You lost that bet to Booy and he knew he had found a punishment you might actually follow through with. We got you hammered! That’s probably why you don’t remember.”
“Hammered…sounds right. Was it Sophomore Year than?”
He seriously doubted he could ever do such a thing, and he felt like he was following his leash, but at the same time, he did allow make-up to be plastered all over him after a Senior Night out. That magician was a jerk, but the best kind. And then he proceeded to get a black, plastic stud pierced into his ear. He even pierced the same spot two months later, for whatever reason he did not know. He concluded what Ariana was saying might be true, so he indulged her.
“Oh was I singing about the Black and Tans again? Conrad would have revved that up, I’m sure. Poor guy. Not sure what happened to him.”
“I think he’s teaching right now. I liked him.”
“I liked him too.”
Ariana giggled.
“Wait, wait, wait. Was that the Halloween you stood up me and Booy at the swim house?”
“Oh I don’t know, Dilby. That wasn’t the point of the story. I doubt it. Mee!”
Dilbert decided to stay quiet, but he felt his stomach churn.
“We’re not going to find leprechauns on this trail now, you know, Dilbert,” sarcastically she dripped.
“Ha. Ha. You are so funny.”
“I know, right? I oughtta write this stuff down.”
He had to smile. She was funny. She delivered. He never paid much deliberate attention to her charisma, it was always a given of hers, but he basked now in its aura. He felt a wave of yellow envelope him and he made a sign of the cross.
“Weren’t you a universal theolochrist?”
“Catholics can be natural theologists. It’s our essence, in fact. Mystical readings all purport to it.”
“Laugh, Dilbert. Laugh, I’m only being silly.”
Dilbert kept to himself for the remaining hour or so, seeking refuge in esoteric musings, while Ariana remained enthralled by all. He sighed every minute or so, hoping to catch her into talking to him, yet he so wanted to be alone. He figured he had more time to make his true love blossom. He’d wait for better landscape.
FIND A GEOGRAPHIC SCENERY LAND DESCRIPTION FOR FOUR/FIVE LINES. DO THE RESEARCH. THEN LET DILBERT INTERACT WITH ONE ASPECT OF THAT ENVIRONMENT FOR A GOOD REASON.
The branch continued to twiddle between Dilbert’s fingers. He was excited. He always felt more relaxed when he channeled his energy into exterior objects. He had the misfortune of inheriting a sensitive, overworking intellect which is where most of his energy dwelt. He managed a smile and couldn’t but help share with Ariana.
“Hey Ari, you see that _______ (animal) over there? That’s called a _______. Facts about it.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“You’re making that up.”
“As a tenured academic I take offense at that comment.”
“How do you know so much about that ____?”
“Oh, you know, google. Haha.”
“Haha, oh gosh….ME!!”
Dilbert chuckled and almost considered evoking his past tango with a pot of gold. Should he? He thought about that one time Ariana said she’d spend the night with him if he’d jump and clack his feet together, like a leprechaun. She of course did not stay the night. But it did make him chuckle.
“What is so funny Dilby?”
“Oh I just have my inner Irish on. McDilbert or something. Where’s my rainbow when I need it?”
Ariana found it all very amusing and her dimples nearly burst her eyes. But she did not ever expect…
And! Oh! Backpack and all the Dilbert jumped up ever so briefly and successfully got his 10 lb hiking boots to make contact. And as he thought he had sealed the deal, he heard a loud…riiip! The backpack had opened. And out came the water, the only pocket of the bag to have been effected, apparently. The canteen, just a cheap shoddy chain brand, burst open and crrrack! The last of the water had been completely devastated.
Ariana nearly cackled as she shrieked with delight.
“More! More! I want more gold Mr!!”
Dilbert was staring at the canteen.
“Is there rainbow appearing merrrrr!! I feel so silly. Dilbert you’re a treat!”
And he stared some more. Was that a hue of red in his cheeks?
“You’re silly too Dilby, Me!, and I love you. Like I always do you know.”
“Well, there’s goes our water.”
“What’s that? haha. Did you think you can use your magic and get us some more there?”
“What?”
“You’re a leprechaun and you have magic, don’t you?”
Dilbert sighed, and continued walking for another fifteen minute in shameful silence. Ariana didn’t take much notice as she reveled in the reverie of the late afternoon play.
“Photo, Dilbert? I’ve taken 10 selfies already.”
“Don’t you get it?”
“Get what Dilby?”
“Don’t ever call me that. You know that.. – sorry, it’s how I am. We lost all our damn water!”
“Isn’t that what our stops are for?”
“That’s true.”
“Laugh.”
But Dilbert fumed internally for the remaining miles, and as his mind insisted there were no breaks for a sinner such as himself, an angel awaited.
“Shalom and greetings dear friends! It is such a joy to see you both here, in __________ (town), and I welcome you both most earnestly!”
In front of them stood a woman who must have been in her upper-50’s, with worn, dry line etched across her forehead. The desert climate had certainly taken to her and her bronzed, cracked skin was highlighted against her light red silk garment. Far behind her stood her husband, presumably, distant and aloof. He made a polite wave and retreated to their one-story home, an adobe style not so different from what Dilbert had seen in his time in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
“You got any water?” Dilbert asked curtly.
Ariana stood agape, ready to laugh until she realized that Dilbert was dead serious.
“Oh, my dear friend, of course of course! You must be so thirsty right now. Surely I will get you both water, and a meal, to be sure. That is what I’m here for! And it is my joy to serve you and know you. You are with friends now.”
“I haven’t really met any friends until now.”
“The trail is a mysterious place, and the surest stranger can become your bestest friend.”
Dilbert scoffed, slightly, and stood erect, overly dignified. His flat chest, never worked out, made a brief attempt at extending itself out, like a soldier, to no avail. He had a prepared comeback, but was interrupted:
“Oh my, thank you so kindly, friend!,” Ariana interjected, “My name is Ariana, and this is my friend, Dilbert Sakanara. We appreciate your kind hospitality! What is your name?”
“I am called Ronit, as my mother was before me, and her mother before her.”
“Oh that’s beautiful Ronit, does your name mean anything?”
“It is like a song of joy, but I tell you I don’t even sing at the temple, hajha.”
Ariana chuckled in reply.
“Oh that’s fine, because as far as I know Ariana doesn’t mean anything, unless it’s related to the pop singer…yeah, my name is just American, haha, so I love Ronit! It’s beautiful!”
“Thank you friend…and you Dilbert, I can see from your face you might be an Asian man? Of Asian descent perhaps?”
Dilbert stared at the ground…at least she hadn’t called him Chinese. He was proud of his Japanese roots, and made a point to distinguish the brutal crimes the two countries had inflicted upon one another over the years. He was not a manga man, didn’t care for gaming, and he wanted to shriek when people asked him if he listened to K-Pop or was a competitive Starcraft player.
“Well…yeah, I guess…does it matter? I just call myself American.”
“Oh, no, don’t get me wrong my friend, of course you are an American, as of course I am Israeli, but the beauty of your country is the infusion of the cultures. And you must remember that. As I remember my grandmother.”
“Interesting…”
Ronit refrained from continuing, and immediately hurdled them into a windy hallway, leading to a simple, serene kitchen. She put the kettle on for a hot drink, and handed the pair glasses of water. Ariana gulped her’s down and Ronit refilled for her. Dilbert remained transfixed on some of the Jewish iconography on display. On a better day he would have engaged Ronit on the history and significance of various Hebrew sayings, and oh boy would he have even recited a prayer with her, but he felt put off by her…charm. It was conniving to him.
“Do you do this often, Ronit?”
“What is that, friend?”
“You can call me Dilbert. Do you take people in like this every day to help them? You must be a great person.”
“I am not great, I am just here to help. If it is God’s will, all the better. I like to be here to make…friends, Dilbert.”
“Don’t you mind him, Ronit, we are all friends here and we’re just grateful for…well, everything! You know the trail is hot, it’s demanding, and ‘ol Dilbert here ended up bursting our last water supply he was so excited about everything!” She chuckled while Dilbert shot her a cold stare.
The night was over for Dilbert, as far as he was concerned. Ronit failed to mention any of her motivations behind her actions and, as far as he was concerned, she was a peddler. She’d probably ask for a generous tip on their way out. He sat in his kitchen care, coldly eyeing his glass of water, and he had affixed to not take a sip. No strings attached charity would interfere with his finances, thank you very much.
Ari, on the other hand, seemed in her element. By the end of their hour there, she had learned a Jewish blessing, which even he didn’t recognize. And he had spent six months briefly studying the language. She was in her element, he supposed, but he didn’t quite get why she cared.
Moments later, Ariana found herself away from Ronit and stared fixedly at the sky. Her eyes were closed and she breathed slowly, with emphasis on each last exhale. Soon her hand clung to her heart and she found herself with goosebumps all over her soft, delicate skin. She snapped out of her trance immediately upon recognizing Dilbert’s uncouth gaze. He must have slipped out of the angel’s prayer.
“You know transcendence starts from within, right?”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“I see you grasping at the light, in this dark night. You don’t see stars because they’re clouded over, yet you grasp at a higher truth as if it’s going to fall out of the sky from you.”
“You know that I’m not into that stuff Dilbert. It’s like, this God of yours could strike down now with any ‘ol sign of the time and I’d have to laugh. You’re the theologian, you’re the religious text-check, I’m just trying to stretch my thighs.”
“I sigh at you Ms. Neptune,” Dilbert mockingly exhaled, “because you’re blind, and do not see, you’re deaf and do not hear, you –- “
And at that very moment a fleet of brand new Israeli fighter jets flew over the sky in a flock pattern, with the lead doing a summersault seemingly out of nowhere. The whirr and whish of the engines and propellers left no room for reaction. Dilbert stared, transfixed.
“That’s probably Ronit’s doing,” he cackled.

Ariana sighed.
“We made it Dilbert! We’re here! Oh thank you so much for doing this with me!”
Dilbert stared out at the surrounding Holy Land in silence. It wasn’t what he had envisioned. Felt more like tumbleweed than the oasis he had in mind. Maybe that was a mirage.
He frowned.
“Is everything OK Dilbert? You seem so…sad. Or flat. Do you need to rest.”
“No, it’s not that. I feel satisfied, but still…thirsty? You know? Like, I thought I would see angels. I’ve counted more Israeli fighter jets. World’s gone to shit.”
“Oh, come on. We talked about this for yeeears. Since undergrad. And then you moved away. And I worked.”
“I went crazy. I went crazy and you would have wanted nothing to do with me.”
Ariana started to cry and dry sob.
Dilbert knew he was being a downer. He had waited for this moment for a decade and a half. All those mind games…
“Well at least that’s your beloved water present. I barely saw any in the dried up Jordan.”
And she grabbed his hand.
Jolts of electricity pulsated up and down his veins. Yet he couldn’t shake his mood. He shook her hand off.
“This is boring.”
“Won’t you take a photo with me.”
“I’ll get one of you. Or maybe a Selfie? You’re probably better.”
Ariana Neptune turned her back to Dilbert and he playfully punched her in the arm. He smiled, despite himself. He was turning himself on to her more than she ever could have. And she wouldn’t get a slice of the pie.
“Tell me something.”
Ariana sniffled and composed herself.
“Well…I know how you feel about the Jordan. I’m kinda ticked off about it too, OK? You know. Where our Lord was baptized and He won’t allow it for the rest of us? Aaand yea, boring views, rugged dirt trail, shitty food. I get it. It’s ok.”
Dilbert pretended to fume.
“I should have said: something interesting. This isn’t therapy.”
Ariana’s shoulders weighed like boulders. Her heart could not heave this mountain.
“Would you get me my water?”
Dilbert relented somewhat, a little too happy to oblige. Ariana smiled and leaned into his shoulder, tickling him. Dilbert started to jostle with her, defending against the invading bliss. He felt warm all over, just for a second, and then he read his joy for deceptive treachery on Ariana’s part. Making the ultimate fool of him before she could ignore him again for another 15 years. He was waiting, didn’t she know? Hadn’t she always known?
“Now just a minute Ms. Laugh-a-lot. You wanted some water. I’m gonna make that happen.”
And he slithered his way to the backpack, perched up against a red devil rock formation. There was one canteen left, full of fresh well water from last night’s Angel. This was too good, he realized.
“Hey Ari-“ cawed mockingly, “Let’s split the last of this canteen.”
“Oh yea, that sounds –-
Yet of course Dilbert had already started chugging. Ariana grinned at what she mistook for teasing. Well, teasing is exactly what it was, but with a total undercurrent of harm.
“Here, catch!”
Dilbert tossed the canteen (not so) gently with the cap half screwed off. He made an underhand softball pitch at her, and as the canteen landed in her hand the cap flung off, spritzing Ariana all over the face with the last reserve of water.
“Oh my! Oh dear! Ariana! What the heck happened there?”
Ariana stood silent and stared at the sun. Maybe she was just a klutz, after all.

The next morning Ariana decided to get up before sunrise. She knew Dilbert would rest for at least another hour or two and she wanted some alone time. She had much to reflect on. She considered her friend’s faux realism. And what seemed to have grown into a certain ungrounded grit, especially compared to the lightweight wannabe hippie he had presented as in college. He had scared her several times on the trip. His arrogance surfaced from time to time, finally affirming what she always felt: he held too comfortable a loft in the ivory tower. He never really had to fight in this world, she had to acknowledge. All his perfect theory would never translate into the lived reality of even the most privileged. So he could complain about the lack of scenery or spiritual uplift. She hadn’t seen it that way. She found a certain simplicity in their three day living that had calmed her, despite Dilbert’s uproars.
She sat down outside the tent on a small camping chair, lay her hands upright on her lap, gently closed her eyes, sat with the grandeur of a mountain, and let out a slow extended breath. Just like that one undergrad seminar she had taken – Mindfulness and Meditation. She had meditated for almost three weeks straight that semester and she always recognized that it had slowed her thought processes down. The monkey mind would sedate, somehow. And totally naturally, allowing her to thrive and focus on her tasks at hand. This time was a little different, though. She wasn’t releasing anything, nor was she sitting with just her own solipsistic perceptions. This meditation was grander, deeper. Full of gratitude. And after what could have been eons, or maybe a few seconds, she declared emphatically:
“I want to walk God.”
“What was that?”
“Oh Dilbert, I’m sorry I didn’t even make the eggs and bacon we reserved for today. Oh God, I’m just awful, and I think I’ve ruined this whole time together.”
She generally had concluded that, too. She had been too afraid of some of Dibert’s advances. There had been a handful in college, too, and he never seemed to remember. A bit of alcohol, and aggressive affection. Hungry. Possessive. It wasn’t easy to succumb to those seductions, even to the bravest of women. She never wanted to ruin their relationship as friends, and despite it all, she had always loved him.
“Enough. Why don’t you -- …why don’t you just get the breakfast on. We’ll talk about it later.”
And she proceeded, silently, to put the food together. There would even be enough coffee to have two servings each, plus ample cream and sugar. She would make this special, she didn’t know how much time she would have with him. So many questions. Why could he never fully relax around her? Didn’t he know she always wanted to give things a try?
“Dilbert?”
He was lounging on a plastic recliner, reading a comparative religions text intently, highlighting left and right, applying post-it notes like bandages to an amputee.
“Dilbert?”
“I’m reading!” He stopped. He thought. “Oh, alright, I’ll be right there.”
He got up, slowly, avoiding a rush of blood to the head, and reconsidered his approach. It was the last day, he thought even he deserved some peace.
“Hey, look, Ariana, let me fetch the water…I know how you like it.”
Ariana was stunned. “Oh, that would be great! Thank you!”
And when he was back the food was already left waiting for him, with an array of aroma encompassing the room. Dilbert had to insist on one last prayer over dinner.
“This is one I learned from that Community Companion project we did back in Sophomore year:
Blessed are You. LORD our God, King of the universe, Who brings forth bread from the earth.”
Dilbert paused, deep in reverie, almost ready to speak, before quickly nodding his head down and diving into his food. He proceeded to complete everything, pour himself another coffee, and return to his scholar’s chair. Ariana decided to surprise him by cleaning up the dishes. She wanted to end on a good note.
“Dilbert, you full?” she asked.
“Oh yeah, Ari,” said almost sincerely, “it was delightful. Thanks a million.”
She blushed and stared at the ground. He stared back, pondering with his intellect what his next best move would be. He decided to indulge her.
“You seemed to get out a lot out of this trip, huh?”
“Ooh yeah! Mee! Oops, where did that come from?”
“You meeed a few times at the hotel. That’s with an ‘m’ not a ‘p,’ thankfully.”
“Bahahahaha,” she giggled hysterically, like a schoolgirl.
It was Dilbert who blushed this time, pleased with himself.
“What was so special about it for you?”
“Well…”
She wanted to sit on his lap. Despite his newly established temper, she always had felt safe around him. And she always nagged on him about his religious admiration, his fellowship with Christ and the Universalists and even the occasional Mosque, and his deep devotion to interfaith peace. She never negated the virtue, but she resented his idealism. Catholicism had scarred her.
“I found God, here, Dilbert.”
Dilbert choked on his last sip of coffee. It might have been some grinds, but he was most definitely alert. His ears perked up, and he sat straight as Ariana had that morning. He wasn’t sure if she was mocking him or acting up, but he recognized that she finally had something useful to say. He decided to play the academic:
“Well, what factors here have led to that, Ariana? Is it the environment? The history? Your musings? I mean, you’re making a lofty assertion given your history of cynical agnosticism.”
“Hey! First of all, I always went to the CCM Halloween bashes. You were the one calling me a heretical papist,” and she smiled, “I never hated religion, I just thought I’d find my own way in life.”
“And, now you’ve led to the opposite conclusion? You need the Lord and Savior for your survival and salvation? Is that it?”
“Woah, woah now. It’s not some come to Jesus moment. I want to believe. And I hope it’s with Jesus. But, right now all I’m saying is: I see life differently.”

“Oh I love you Dilby, I love you so. Your contour of delusion, your desire for illusion, you sit restless and weighing at the disposition of the truth! You seek it and you found it goddarnit! It’s right here wrapped up in my tightly knitted boots!”
…You said we saw no angels…what about Ronit?”
“That was a place of convenience! A place to stay! Ronit was doing her due diligence! It’s what she frickin’ signed up for! You kidding me? She’s serving a higher purpose? She probably gets land grants and subsidies from the Israeli government to put that gawking smile on her face! Remember she even decided to start condemning Hamas…you think we, you think I came here for that? That conflict is so protracted and so far outside the possible realm of an American understanding that she decided to throw shit in our garden! You see that, don’t you? She had a political MO to bring us back to the states with fervent Zionist leanings. Trust me, we didn’t what anything to do with that lady.”
“She was special!! She was the whole point of the trail! She housed us, cleaned us, gave us a shower, and told us her story. Did you really want to spend these entire three days in our isolated partnership?”
“Pff, yeah? Is that what this has been for you? Isolation? Stolen away from your keyboard so you can collect sob stories on Palestinian abuse? Oh come off it now, you’ve got better perspective than that.”
Ariana decided not to reply. Dilbert was beyond reproach as he flittered off to the academic atmosphere. Whereas once upon a time, this conversational deviation, though highly abstract and detached, might have charmed or at least titillated her intellect, she now saw a cold mind operating with no heart. Yet she remained silent. She was unsure of Dilbert’s rage, and she didn’t seem to understand that maybe this was the boy he had always been.
“And I know the fleet of fighter jets did nothing for you…right?”
She concluded that last question as a plea. Hoping that the miracle man she once knew might find his magic light once again. His muscular frame, once a wellspring of the fountain of spirit, had been replaced by robotic angular limbs, jangling and dripping over every last inch of the landscape.
It was not as though she had come here to be converted. She was never a nonbeliever for that matter, either. No, she had come to the Israeli National Trail in the hopes of seeing her dear friend, one for whom she shared much affection. She admired his bristling chest, the way he walked with a gait, how he stared out at spaces seemingly seeing the invisible. All this, and more, she had desired. Above all it was the perceived intellectual and hyper-spiritual space which he operated in. Now she hadn’t wanted to be the sore thumb of the adventure, but she wasn’t sure her own inner religious strife was now so complicated. Angels did exist: in the form of those around her, helping, loving, being. Doing the little details. And when you called for God, oh boy could he beckon. It was all too much for her to simply ignore.
“Dilbert, when I started this trail, it’s true I thought you might be fun to mess with, in a way. I wanted to tell you everything that was wrong with your religious sympathies and your theoretical concoctions. I wanted you to know the harm the evangelical church had done me, promoting a prudent purity, and demanding I keep my skirts well below my knees. Marriage was for the good girl. And Pastor John sure knew the new girls. You know? Um…”
She fell silent, in a panic.
“…but I don’t see things that way, now. I see you. I see me. I see the beauty around us. And I now know there is a God. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll take my numbers any day over a book of stories…But. That doesn’t mean there isn’t more. I always admired that about you. The way you patiently stuck out the themes of redemption, salvation, redemption, reincarnation, a new consciousness. I’ve heard it said so many ways by you over the years…and…well, I want that. I want your conviction. I want your endearing dedication to finding a truth larger than ourselves. Oh, Dilbert, I love you…”
And she bowed her head, like a dog, to receive her master’s beckon.
“Oh dear. Oh dear, me. You don’t think I’ve been a believer, have you? Ahh…you’re smarter than that, aren’t you, Ms. Honors Program? Come on, you always claimed to be a fan of Mark Twain. It’s been Satire 101 since I met my Lord + Savior Bertrand Russell. God is not Great, or we could say He (as this archetype almost always is), is a delusion, or worse, an illness to the human race. But, can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, right? You know how much of a boost you get by being a God man with the right folk?”
Dilbert straightened his back, his neck, his perched over his body like a bird ready to pounce.

Ariana awoke the next morning. Perhaps a shared meditation might mend things. But a quick glance at the lampstand said it all. Dilbert had left. Perhaps she would stay and walk with God. She would find another angel.