The woman

A short story of desperation

The woman lies still in her bed with her hands clasped over her chest. The bed is massive, made of iron in a Gothic style, the wallpaper is red. There is a window in the room, but the blinds are drawn, all that reminds of the real world is the cutting sound of the trams that regularly screech past. The woman is lying pale in bed, screwing up every now and then, there is something calling to her, something she can't turn off. The calls increase in strength until they become unbearable and the woman presses her hands to her ears and screams out her anguish. Panicked, she tries to get up to leave this room that holds so much pain and death, that holds her captive. But all that happens is that Sorrow's wistful face forces her back, makes her retreat, even weaker than before.

Loneliness is already there, has settled down next to her, just like usual. He has been her faithful companion for as long as she can remember. But there is someone else there who is also clamoring for her attention, stubbornly and persistently. It's The Shadow. You can never escape The shadow, it is part of your own self. The part that lives within us, that urges us to end our lives, because it knows that it will always be a part of our soul. The woman already know this, but burdened with grief, she has a weapon that most of us lack, indifference...

The woman does not know when day turns into night, does not know what day of the week, what month or what year it is. The woman has only her two so-called friends to rely on, Loneliness who coldly and mechanically rapes her every night and The Shadow who slyly and viciously tries to get her over to the other side... The woman turns in her sweaty damp bed, trapped as she is in a no man's land. She has one foot in life and the other one sunken deep down into the stinking swamp of Death. She twists her gnarled clasped hands, looks up at the off-white ceiling, then lets her empty eyes rest on the red walls.

A sudden sound, what's going on? It sounds like claws are trying to climb the red walls and no one but the Woman can hear them... The claws belong to Sorrow, therefore only the Woman hears its sharpened claws clawing the bedroom's red wallpaper apart and together. The woman turns, tries not to hear, but the red wallpaper mercilessly begins to change color from wallpaper-red to blood-red.

The transition to blood-red is fast and soon the burial chamber called the bedroom is flooded with the bright red blood of suffering which furiously rushes down the walls. The woman tries to get up and scream but it doesn't work, all that happens is that she is pushed down on the bed by Sorrow. She sees how The Shadow grins to Loneliness, sees how they laugh and talk about her.

The sun-rays carefully find their way in through the blackout of the blinds and a new day dawns for everyone else. The woman still lies in her bed, her hands are clasping convulsively and her tears are streaming from the corners of her eyes. She can feel how the stale seed of Loneliness is flowing from her innermost. The Shadow smiles, this is exactly what he wanted to happen...