edges

A poem about the reality of living with BPD (borderline personality disorder)

I feel too much, or maybe not at all
whispers turn into brawl
My heart is a glass that overflows
that shatters when the cold wind blows.
My love is like fire, fierce and wild.
and than push away, a frightened child.
I crave your touch, them scream at you "Don't stay."
I need you close- but also please go away.
A million selves within one skin,
A war I must fight but cannot win.
Every mood is a wave I cannot still
Each thought a mountain I must will.
I read between each word you say,
And spiral ten whole years that day.
A smile may bloom, a look can sting
My mind remakes everything.
I'm not broken, just alive.
My nerves like stars that overdrive.
I feel the world with open hands,
and bleed where nobody else stands.
I am more than storms that cloud my sky.
More than the tears I cry.
Beneath all the chaos, see me clear-
I'm trying so hard to even still be here.
So if I seem too much, too fast
Just know i'm tethered to my past.
In this ache there is also grace:
A heart that longs to find its place.