sad

at least i'm trying

i'm sad again.
everything feels so bad again.

there are so many things on my mind,
i feel so behind.

anxiety is the issue,
tears down my face, using so many tissues.
some days are worse than others,
the sky seems to be losing more colors.

when feeling this way,
all i want to do is go to my bed and lay.
or sit on a porch, smoking a joint,
where i'll stay.

pretty dependent on a substance,
it's become my entire existence.

never figured things would be this way,
coming from the little girl who used to
spend her time outside and played.

this period of my life is ever-changing,
constantly rearranging.
will things ever settle down?
it makes my head spin around.

going to smoke a little more,
'til i end up on the floor,
but then i'll be sure,
that i've been in this place before...