Choppin' in a Baseball Hinterland

Pitching is everything. Go, Braves! [Winter Wonderland tune - Bard's Hall Contest, 12/'21]

Choppin' in a Baseball Hinterland

Come the fall, we'll be moanin'
And the fans, they'll be groanin'
They started off proud
But now they're just loud
Choppin' in a baseball hinterland

Flown away is the bluebird
Here to stay is the boo bird
The pitcher's a toad
We paid him a load
Choppin' in a baseball hinterland


In the winter meetings we went over
If this guy should still be on the mound
"Can he throw a curveball?"
We said, "No, man
We need a better pitcher here in town"

Later on, we'll perspire
As we twist little wires
His car must go boom
We need the cap room
Choppin' in a baseball hinterland

[Musical bridge]

In the winter meetings we went over
If this guy should still be on the mound
"Can he throw a curveball?"
We said, "No, man
We need a better pitcher here in town"

Later on, we'll perspire
As we twist little wires
His car must go boom
We need the cap room
Choppin' in a baseball hinterland

Choppin' in a baseball hinterland
Choppin' in a baseball hinterland

Author's Note ▼

[Winter Wonderland (instrumental) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=if9lOtVGRQA; melody starts 0:16]

Any of you familiar with U.S. professional sports will undoubtedly recognize any poetic license employed. For those of you unfamiliar with American baseball in general, and the Atlanta Braves in particular, here's a little info.

"Cap room (or Cap space)" is the difference between a specific salary limit imposed by a league and a member team's total salary. While Major League Baseball doesn't have a cap, teams get charged a luxury tax - “competitive balance tax” - for exceeding the limit set by the Commissioner's Office.

Although the Braves did suffer some lean years, a fact actually alluded to in an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, they have one of the most impressive records in all of major U.S. sports, including a World Series title earlier this year. During games, Braves fans chant and swing their arms in a chopping motion - the Tomahawk chop. Discussions between the baseball club and the National Congress of American Indians regarding its appropriateness are ongoing.

Oh, yeah: I have no idea how to rig a timer, and I have absolutely no access to C4 (or any other explosive).