Sweat

Pay comparison between teachers and pro basketball players

Sweat

NBA basketballs players are paid per drop of sweat:
for every fallen drop, they get a dollar;
for every rivulet, seventy-five cents;
for each hanging bead, fifty cents--translating to about
a yearly salary of ten times your average university provost.
Bench warmers get a flat fee. Paid by the ass,
four times your average college professor.
After a practice or a game, they drive home
in their 16-cylinder prototypes,
then meditate because they can.

Teachers are paid by drawing straws
or sometimes by playing rock, paper, scissors.
For every student who gets an "A", they receive
respect.
For every "F", they donate
an organ.
They sweat on the inside all day,
drive home in their white Camrys,
then meditate because they have to.

Excuse me while I practice zen
and the art of throwing my hands up in the air.


2000 Matthew Levine