Missing it

I'm no longer the same

I'll never fully, truly
be myself again
and you laugh and say what I've been through makes me who I am

and we'll fight
because you don't get it

past lovers have taken pieces out of me, a puzzle never quite enough, and replaced them

shoving what they want down my throat and burning it into my brain until I stopped fighting
numb and full of hurt

aching quietly because I miss myself


and I don't know how to get it back