The Invisible Returns

Went to church for the first time in ages. Nothing had changed since last I went.

The Invisible Returns
11-03-18

I crawled back through the doors
After an aeon of absenteeism,
And found nothing had changed;
I was still invisible and unnecessary.
People looked through me
As if I was incorporeal,
Greeting those around me,
But leaving me out
As if I didn't occupy the same space.

Few arms opened in welcoming hugs for me,
Few voices rose in warm salutation and welcome;
It seems I ceased to exist while I was away,
Just as I ceased to exist when I attended regularly.

I do not have the energy to fight for false friendships,
Or to force fake, feeble, fickle 'friends'
To notice me and pay attention.
I cannot fight to put myself at the centre of attention,
So I will shrink back
Against the wall this flower strayed from,
And whither under the scorching rays
Of disinterest and inattention.

I crawled through the doors today
After an aeon of absenteeism and being AWOL,
And found nothing had changed.