Initiation

Written on a hospital bed

If death is an initiation into new life
then where can I find the sign-up sheet?
Hard copy?
Google form?

I’m ready to squash inner demons
like grapes at the bottom of the bag,
the ones that never stay fresh
for more than a day.

Shadows swirl through my lungs
like vapor outside a dank bar
where no one tells the truth.
Can I get a coffin made out of Jenga blocks?

May my funeral be the one
where everyone must paint
favorite words on open umbrellas
then line them all up on wet grass.

Wander
Hope
Fuck
Win
Pray
Dream
Done.

Then everyone eats coffee cake
and sips cheap wine.