Abuser

Sometimes the past comes up again. Sometimes he follows.

"Breathe"
It's a simple command
Whispered to myself.
His words keep popping up
Invading what's supposed to be my safe space.
My fear makes me play along
For this is just a part of the game.
"I love you!"
I've never feared those three words more.
I try to ignore,
Try to change the subject,
Try to pretend it was never spoken.
I want to turn my head and look away.
I want to run far, far away from him.
From his words.
From the memories.
From the pain.
Tears run down my cheeks when he appears in my mind.
I attempt to forget,
Turn the hurt into jokes,
Poking fun at the suffering.
FUCK
Writing this with the keys at my fingertips
Memories begin to pour
Him taking me as his own
While the pain was too excruciating to tell him to stop.
I can't
I can"t
Think
Its fuzzy
I'm fading
I want it gone.