Pyramid Scheme

The farm was being foreclosed on. What to do? A PersonITfication Entry

Pyramid Scheme

Jennifer came bounding into the barn. “The farmer’s gone. We can talk now.” She slid to a stop and scratched behind her ear, making her collar jingle. “Tell me again, why can’t we speak in front of humans?”

Barclay, the mule, said, “They’re human. They don’t listen and don’t believe. A few have tried and ended up on YouTube where people only laughed at them.”

“That’s right, that’s right,” clucked Angus, the rooster.

“Besides,” purred Angelina, her whiskers flashing in a stray beam of sunlight, “they don’t need to know. Let them think we’re dumb while we manipulate them into taking care of us.”

“Spoken like a cat.” Barclay laughed at his own bit of humor.

The conversation was interrupted by a banging coming from the barnyard. Barclay watched as a man nailed a sign to the front of the house. When he had gone, Barclay went over.

“What’s it say, what’s it say?”

“Foreclosed. All items and livestock will be sold at auction in two days!”

“Oooowwww,” cried Jennifer. “They’re taking away our home. They’re breaking up our family.”

“We can’t let that happen,” Barclay said adamantly.

“We should run away, run away,” crowed Angus.

“Yes,” said Angelina as her claws shredded the paper. “But where would we go?”

“Nevada!” exclaimed Barclay. Everyone turned to look at him.

“Nevada?” questioned Jennifer, once more scratching her ear.

“Yes. I’ve been reading. They have places like The Bunny Ranch, The Mustang Ranch, the Chicken Ranch, even a Pussycat Ranch. Obviously, animals are welcome.”

“I like the sound of that,” purred Angelina.

“But what would we do, we do?” cried Angus.

“I saw a poster for something called Cirque de Soliel. Acrobats seem to be popular. We could do a balancing act and form a living pyramid,” suggested Barclay. “I could be the base, then Jennifer, then Angelina, and finally Angus on top.” Everyone nodded in approval. “It’s settled, then. I’ll call in the morning.”

The next morning, the group gathered in the barn. “Who should we call, call?” asked Angus.

“I found an advertisement for something called Zoo-manity. That sounds like a place we should fit in.” Barclay dialed the number, happy that voice dialing was possible now.

“Cirque de Soliel. How may I direct your call?”

“Hi. My name is Barclay and I’m the manager of a small group and would like to see about joining Zoo-manity.”

After a moment, a man’s voice came on. “So, you want to join the act? I get hundreds of calls. Quick, in six words or less, tell me about the members of your troupe,” he demanded.

Barclay paused for second, his mind racing. “Well, there’s Angus – a big cock, Angelina – a furry pussy, myself – a beautiful ass, and then there’s Jennifer. She’s a bitch but she can put her legs up to her ears!”

“Say no more. You’re hired!”

An entry for "Invalid Item" 
Prompt: Image (The Town Musicians of Bremen)
Word Limit: 500
Word Count: 477

FYI:

For the uninitiated: the “animal ranches” cited are famous brothels which are legal in Nevada.

Zumanity is the first "adult-themed" Cirque du Soleil show, billed as "the sensual side of Cirque du Soleil" currently being performed in Las Vegas.