Sorry

This is about an experience in Highschool

So many days,
and so many nights,
I had never stopped thinking,

I went all the wrong ways,
I caused too many fights,
which is why my heart's still sinking.

Im so sorry
I took your minds away,
You know that it wasn't on purpose

I knew you were worried,
But I wanted my own way,
Even though I was glowing on the surface.

It's been 10 years since,
Yet.. today,
I still ask myself why..

Im still not convinced
That I am okay,
But don't say I didn't try.

I wish you where here now,
Without my lies,
So I wouldn't feel karma at best,

But this is now,
Though its hard to realise,
It's one of God's unforgivable tests.