Manic Depression

This is one of the first poems I've ever written.

I gaze out my bedroom window so lonely so bored.
I watch the sky as the birds soar.
The wind blows and the son shines.
This I watch to pass the time.
Depression comes, depression goes.
This feeling I hate, this feeling I loath.

It's such a beautiful day outside of my room.
I should be happy, full of joy, instead I'm full of gloom.
There's no clouds, no rain, no reason to dread,
But here I lay, lying still on my bed,
Being held captive by my own emotion,
To my own thoughts I have to use caution.

I close the blinds, I shut out the light.
I grab the bottle, I'm losing the fight.
There's too much Vodka and too many pills.
I try to move, but I just lie here still.
I begin to lose conscienceness, I see a door.
With the last inch of my life, I pray to my Lord.