Is it hate???

contemplating a friendship.....

It's a little bit funny,
these feelings inside,
the person I hate the most,
doesn't ever leave my mind.

I hope and pray,
to erase him all,
but his face, his gestures,
from my memories never fall.

I miss him in the best,
in the worst of my deeds,
struggle to shake him off,
from my thoughts deep.

But tend to think of him,
again and again,
re-visit troubled times,
dim memory lanes.

So is it hate......??
to self I ask...
when the person I hate the most,
never leaves my thoughts.......



Note: the first two lines are from the song of movie 'Moulin Rouge' sung by Evan mc Gregor....
Have been humming it the whole day today.... :)