Disappear

if i wasn't here...maybe life would be better for everyone.

I just want to disappear

To vanish into the numb nothingness of my existence
And go someplace the pain can't reach
To escape from the agony gnawing through my soul

I just need to disappear

Because if I didn't exist
Neither would this despair
This confusion
The sheer and utter hopelessness

And I find myself thinking that maybe it's me

Maybe I'm the reason for all of it
That I'm somehow tainted
Malignant
Cancerous

Spreading the heartache to everyone I touch
All of the people who are foolish enough to love me
And crazy enough to accept my love in return

Believing somewhere in the back of my soul

That if I could just disappear

The suffering of everyone I love
Would just disappear with me