Useless

How I feel today... and every day.

Sometimes I just don’t understand
The way life plays out.
One minute I’m on top of the world,
The next I’m at the bottom struggling to survive.

This is not how I envisioned my life,
Nor is it how I want to live.
I thought success would be easy.
But apparently I was mistaken.

How did I get here?
To the point that I don’t know where I’m going.
I used to be so motivated, driven, and determined.
Now, I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning.

Is this just another bout of depression?
Or is it maybe something more?
I don’t want to wake up miserable,
Go to sleep depressed,
And spend every minute in between taking it out on others.

How do I get to the place I want to be?
Do I even know where that is?
I don’t want to scrape just to get by,
And I most certainly don’t want to fail.

Lord, I ask that you help me.
Help me to find the motivation I once possessed.
To give me a direction and a purpose.
Because right now, I just feel useless.