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A man goes on two journeys, one to save someone, one to the electric chair. |
| Jusitice By Richard Paul āWake up Jimmy Boy. Youāve got a big day ahead.ā His eyes opened, slowly at first. Dazed and confused he felt no particular need to rush the waking process. Recollection soon forced through the weariness however, and Jimās eyes snapped open with shock, all weariness seemed to vanish in an instant. The short-lived comforts of sleep had abandoned him. He immediately started shaking in terror and repeated to himself a sentence that had long since lost all meaning, This couldnāt be happening. āNow now Jimmy, none of that. This is going to be a good day donāt you know?ā The manās features twisted into a sickening smile, āWell, good for me.ā He laughed then, both of them laughed, Jim lay on the concrete slab they called a bed, propped up on one elbow and felt the rage twist with the terror. Distantly however he felt a faint gratitude for the distraction. At least heād get to do one thing heād like before⦠Well, at least heād get to do something heād wanted to do for a long time now. He surged to his feet, lunged at the man, drew back his fist, and then fell as a blow from one of the menās batons impacted on his head. There was something about the pain that for a reason heād never know, felt right. Well, felt like it belonged there. He didnāt know why. Jim lay motionless on the floor, cradling the piece of his head where the man had struck him and waited for the pain to subside. They laughed louder. The sound seemed to leap around in his battered head, it made the pain worse. āMy dayās just getting better and better.ā The first guard proclaimed from above him, āCome on Jimmy Boy, on your feet. Youāve got a big day ahead remember?ā _____________________________________________________________________ āExcuse me pal, could you spare a light?ā Jim looked up from the bench where the remnants of his half eaten sandwich lay. Towering above him was an unreasonably tall man with the smell of beer on his breath and by the looks of things, only three teeth. āSort of.ā He replied cryptically and reached into his coat pocket. After pushing past a collection of receipts that had been gradually gathering there, he pulled out a box of matches that heād gotten from some bar or another. It might have even been when he was in Scottsdale. Heād needed that drink then, needed it to steady his nerves. At the sight of the matches, the man helped himself to the seat next to Jim, almost sitting on his sandwich in the process. He produced a cigarette from somewhere deep within a dirty looking coat. āThanks pal, I appreciate it.ā āDonāt mention it.ā The man fumbled with the match and after throwing two away after accidentally snapping them in half, finally managed to light a third one. He lit the cigarette and soon puffed out a lungful of smoke, which the wind blew in Jimās direction. Making him regret giving him the matches in the first place. The man handed the matches back to Jim, he waved his hand. āYou keep āem. I donāt smoke.ā The toothless grin that the man replied with seemed so heartfelt that Jim momentarily worried that he was going to try and hug him. āYour loss,ā He said after the grin faded, āThey can say what they like about all the dangers and all that. But my attitude is, like with most things. To hell with it. You might as well enjoy yourself right? I mean, eat well, stay healthy, die anyway, right?ā Jim momentarily wondered if there was some part of him that attracted the eccentric. It seemed that no matter where he went there was always someone who was ready to yammer in his ear about the most random things. āLonely old peopleā, he told himself, āHe was just always in the wrong place at the wrong time. No luck.ā At those final two words he spat out a savage bark that through some stretch of the imagination could have been called a laugh. No luck, yeah, thatās about the size of it. The man stared at him as if he was the weird one. He was probably right. āWhatās funny?ā āNothing, point of fact I happen to agree with you.ā He paused. He wondered if he should tell him. After all, it wasnāt like it mattered now was it? āYeah, I mean look at me.ā The man gestured at himself with both hands, āIāve done what I wanted my whole life, I look like death, but Iām happy.ā āI did that once.ā Jim replied, setting himself up for the story. The manās face took on a look which strangely mixed disappointment with panic. That shouldnāt have happened yet, the story had only just started. Jim realised that the man wasnāt looking at him. He turned his head, and saw two policemen coming his way. They looked, well, they looked pleased. I guess not everyone handed themselves to them like he was doing. āThanks for the matches pal.ā Said the man hurriedly, giving him a comradely slap on the shoulder, āSee you later.ā āYeah.ā Jim replied dismissively, standing as he did so, āsee you.ā He turned to face the policemen as the man took off behind him. _____________________________________________________________________ One on either side. One hand on either of his shoulders, the other on their batons. In case he tried anything again he guessed. Maybe he should. After all, there was nothing left to lose. But he didnāt feel up to it. He didnāt feel up to anything except trying to quell the rising bile in his throat and push away the ever growing terror. There were two other people who were walking behind them. Jim didnāt know who they were. Itād been a long road which had led him to this. And most of that road had involved him sitting perfectly still, counting the 48 ceiling tiles again and again. It was a good way to get to sleep. What the hell took them so long? Why couldnāt they have gotten it over with when heād first got here? It would have been⦠No. It was quiet. Really quiet. He couldnāt even hear the footsteps on the hard stone floor. Which it had to be said, looked remarkably elaborate considering what it was leading towards. No! His hand started shaking. It did that a lot, ever since heād fired the gun. Especially now that there was a good reason for it to shake. Jim was surprised it had taken it so long for it to start. Unbidden, an image of Jenniferās smiling face shot into his mind. NO! The all too familiar pain that her face still brought in him almost caused Jim to throw up then and there. He came to an abrupt stop and bent over. āOh for Christās sake. Here we go.ā The voice wasnāt a familiar one. From behind him, someone pushed a bucket under his face. āIf youāre gonna be sick then do it now.ā Said the guard on his right. It was the same one that had hit him earlier. Jim turned his still pounding head to face the man. Who promptly pushed it back towards the bucket. āDonāt even think about it Jimmy. No oneās going to care if you show up with your nose pointing the wrong way.ā After a few moments in which nothing happened, the bucket was taken away. The guard on his left prodded Jim in the back with his baton and soon the five of them were moving again. _____________________________________________________________________ God it was hot. Then again, he was in Arizona, at least he thought he was. Geography had never been Jimās specialty. Never give anyone directions Mclean, he could hear Mrs. Paterson, his old geography teacher whisper in his head. Youāll probably send āem to a watery grave. That friendly joke had come moments before sheād handed him back an essay with a large, unfriendly āFā on it. Well, he didnāt have to give directions. He just had to follow them. That was painless enough. He checked the street name with the crude map heād printed off and began to walk. It wouldnāt be long now. Heād reach Jenniferās house, heād go in, try to calm her down, realise he couldnāt and then realise that it didnāt really matter. Whatever happened, he was still going to kill the bastard. He pushed out a long breath as some part of his mind that had somehow managed to cling to sanity tried once more to dissuade him from making this journey. To stop him from, as Jennifer would probably describe it, from throwing his life away. He never could understand Jennifer, she was always so selfless, no matter what the cost. Sheād helped him and Larry study for the finals at the cost of her own studying back in high school. At college sheād leant him money more times then he could count, and probably kept him from having to drop out as a result. Now she was keeping quiet, smiling at the right times, carefully concealing the black eyes on her face. All to protect some worthless excuse for a human being that dared call himself her husband. Not any more, he wouldnāt let her go through her life like that; he wouldnāt let her be a punch bag for some creature that didnāt deserve to live, let alone her. She deserved better then that. He owed her more then that. And he couldnāt lie to himself any more; he loved her. But that didnāt make any difference. Heād do the same for Larry, or Dave or any of them. They all had more to live for then he did anyway. Larry had a wife and son, Daveās wife was pregnant. Emma, whenever he spoke to her, seemed barely able to talk about anything other then this booker prize or whatever it was that sheād been given. And Jennifer, well, sheād have a future. Soon enough anyway. He had nothing like that. In comparison to them, he was expendable. The journey had been the quickest of his life. The heat seemed to slip away behind his determination. No one got in his way as he walked to the house, no one handed out coupons for discount meals at newly opened restaurants, or promotional flyers for some politician. Even the cars seemed to be remaining courteously quiet. Jim kept walking, stopping only to check the map and make sure he was going the right way. The image of Jenniferās smiling face kept him going, beat back the ever growing anxiety, and quietened the incessant, chaotic thumping in his chest. Of course, credit where its due, the image of the face that had replaced it when heād seen her at Daveās wedding with him. The carefully constructed half smiles, the forced laughter, the loose strand of hair working in vain with whatever makeup was trying to conceal the bruise on her face. Not for much longer. It would all be over soon. _____________________________________________________________________ Was that chair laughing at him? He stared at the crude looking piece of furniture and distantly thought that it should have spikes on its arm rests or something. Its very reason for being was to stop people from being. But now that he saw it, it looked woefully unequal to the task. Too small, too thin. It was nothing like the terrifying contraptions that had haunted his dreams ever since heād gotten here. He felt calm, almost, but not exactly relieved. It was over. At long last it was finally over. Heād paid the price heād swore to himself, swore to Jennifer that heād pay. Heād paid it in pain, nightmares, tears, everything he could. Now at last, assuming he didnāt have the fires of Hell to contend with after all was said and done, he was going to be free of it. āIām sorry Jennifer.ā He said for the last time under his breath. He could face her now. āSorryās not gonna save you now Jimmy boy.ā Sneered the guard on his left. The brief moment of clarity disintegrated in that instant, and for what must have been the hundredth time, Jim felt the sudden urge to rearrange the guardās face. Now or never. _____________________________________________________________________ He held her long after his disbelieving mind had accepted the fact that she was gone. He didnāt know how long heād been crying, nor did he have any inclination to give the topic any thought. On the far side of the wrecked kitchen. His target lay dead with five bullets holes punching through his chest. In the heat of the afternoon, the smell of blood would have been overpowering to anyone whoād been able to pay it any attention. The gun had held six bullets. The sixth one had⦠Jimās eyes tightened and he gripped the body of the woman he loved, the woman heād killed, tighter. Why? Why had she put herself in his way like that? The man was scum? He probably would have killed given time and enough whiskey. Why did she do it? Didnāt she want to get rid of him? A fresh wave of pain surged through Jim, and he forced his eye open and searched the floor desperately for the gun. Only to find it was still in his right hand. He could barely feel his hand, which was now shaking. He couldnāt take it. He couldnāt stand the reality of it. Gradually, he eased the gun around and pressed it against his chest. With one final look at Jenniferās bloodied corpse, he pulled the trigger. His body spasmed, but the only thing to leave the gun was a disinterested sounding click. Distantly, Jim realised that he had used up all the bullets. He wailed. It was a short, pitiful sound of utter hopelessness. He threw the gun across the floor and collapsed into a wailing wreck next to Jenniferās body. _____________________________________________________________________ The guy who was speaking sounded a bit like Mark Hamill. āElectricity shall now pass through your body until you are dead. In accordance with the state of Texas, may God have mercy on your soul.ā Jim spared one last glance at the guard with the black eye. There was something terribly freeing about punching him, even if his face had been smashed beyond all recognition as a result. Maybe that would make it hurt less. The guard returned his grin with a smirk of his own. Behind it was a silent promise that it wouldnāt be funny for very long, not when he was burning alive in the chair he was now strapped into. He was probably right. Shouldnāt there be a priest here? Reading last rights or something? Jenniferās face came back to him one last time; he could bear to think about her now. Sometimes he could, sometimes he couldnāt. Who knew, maybe theyād see each other soon. A faint humming noise started to emerge from below him. Or did it? Why should there be humming? Jim clamped his eyes tightly shut; this was supposed to be a quick and relatively painless method of execution, according to legend anyway. A quick jolt, straight to the brain and...and who was he kidding. This wasnāt going to be quick, it might not even be over in one go. It would be slow, and it would be the most painful thing heād ever go through, apart from seeing Jennifer sprawled out on the⦠Then abruptly he couldnāt bear to think of her again. Thatās why you came here. The humming was getting louder with each passing second. He could feel his chest tightening all the more with the increase in volume. Whatās taking so long? āOkay, weāre ready to roll. Any last words Jimmy Boy?ā āNo.ā The End |