The other side of a kiss

What happens when I kiss is not what we expect?

Said it was that in a kiss
your heart you would find
In the moment it was like bliss
Or so I saw it in my mind

To join your lips I was leaning
thinking of a movie's script
Perfection of the screen was seeming
but in the bud that thought was nipped

It could not translate the thought
my face it slowly burned
My acting she surely bought
though my stomach it was turned

Never was it said a kiss
could turn someone away
In the aftermath of this sickness
My feelings did decay

My precognitions were a lie
better, I pictured this to be
Avoiding, now I am to look in your eye
Though now I know what you expect of me

Act sick, I should because its true
My stomach would attest
My creativity made me wish anew
things that I would need arrest

Now you look at me again
expectation in your eye
"hold on" I phone a friend
To perpetuate the lie.