Ripped it Out

I've been told it takes 8 tríes to get out of an abusive realationship.

My emotions were chaotic
It hurt when I finally gave up.
His words had been biting.
I was always asking myself why.

Why did he stay with me,
if I was such a bad person.
Why wasn't I what he wanted.
Why didn't he love me.

It took days to come to terms
with the feelings he had provoked.
I felt as though I had no hope,
A ship lost at sea.

The pain I tried to forget,
As I felt the relief take over.
I ripped my heart out so I could leave him.
It was a loss, I could lose.

Its been 3 years.
I can't start over.
I won't start over.
I ripped it out.