Torment

How can one describe the misery of an eating disorder?

Torment

A weight falls heavily upon me.
A steady pull inside my brain.
In one room I seek love and understanding.
In another I purge away all the guilt and pain.
My guilt never leaves.
The pain only deepens.
My life is a wild rotation from one room to the other,
Locked in a ceaseless circle of torment.
A game of chess I cannot win.
I stand up, throat on fire, head spinning, heart pounding;
Begging for an end, any end, to who I am right now.