You can feel the pain of the author in this piece, the sadness and deep despair at their loss, yet so admirable it is to see their inner strength pull through. For me emotion and life experiences always have their best translations into poetry and this shows the reflection of the author's struggle through their pain. I would say keep at your technique. The greatest depth and meaning in a work of literature comes from the deepest and sincere emotions. And emotions is what's shown here.
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