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Review by Tom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)
Bravo! Excellent battle scene! The beginning was a bit slow, but once the two armies clashed, I was hooked. You should definitely go ahead with this project. Just a note on mechanics: in the first paragraph, there is a section I had to read a few times to get it:"they amassed at the crest of a ridge where Riyal sat, mounted upon a chestnut horse, their armor shining..." I'd recommend changing the comma after horse to a semi-colon, as well as the first comma and as: "...Riyal sat upon his chestnut horse; their armor..." It's just a recommendation, but I really like the battle scene-one of the best I've ever read. Great prologue! Keep writing!
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