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Review of Auronium  
Review by Galatea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (2.0)
Some good imagery, and the premise of the story is valid, if not very original. It's getting difficult to BE original in SF. But there are far too many errors is spelling and grammar, clichéd descriptions, faulty similes, and not-very-thrilling effects. No sense of anyone's character, just "what happened to somebody."
How do people "cluster out of a tunnel?" That stopped me cold. As did the word "glimmer." It's such a pretty word, and it cannot be used anymore. Sad. Neither can "vaporized" and "scintillated" be used, save sparingly. And like, you really like, use the word "like" a bit much. And words like "bloody" and "damn" don't belong in science fiction. But that's just a personal opinion. They break the mood we're trying to create, that of being in another time and space. Cuss words are too earth-y.
At the end, I still don't know what these eggs are - a threat or a boon? Did they destroy or create life on a planet (a Star Trek movie has this already)? The name Vormak is silly, and evokes somehow an immediate relation to the word "vomit." Sorry.
All these are are the little things a good editor can help you with, so just keep writing, and above all, reading GOOD science fiction. You will end up by seeing these things yourself.
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