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51
51
Review of Greed  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
JULY 21, TWENTY-FOURTEEN

Within GREED by John Nation, featured on Auto-Rewards, page one ...

IN SUM ...

By conclusion the old saying: YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU comes thru loud and clear.

Here, search for a will, a methodology fiction style .. a disgrununtled, mayhap self-centered fam
and more, much more, indeed.
Didn't expect the rocket, a'tall.

Challenge being to cut to the chase with average vocab shortening .. leave the overwordy at the doorstep, John.

@ " ... the different names you tried to hide under ..."

Simply try aliases.

Also, this reader (moi) struggles with the far fetched from, son, Darrel. @ "She keeps a dozen coutries from going bankrupt." Do these kingdoms have names? Such as?

Just a tad to general perhaps.

This style fits adolescent LIT. Like name Rivers, seems to fit.

When one does money-oriented gigs (ala fiction) best to strut one's stuff from mundane "investment" lingo into some real things. Research key.

Ah well, best summer on. Thanks for gp. I enjoyed the story. REV sent
Cordially from: TEFF "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

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PS: Mr. Nation -- We allow posts @ THE WAVE. Stop by anytime as we July On @ http://www.writing.com

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52
52
Review of DRIVE-IN  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

JULY 10, TWENTY-FOURTEEN

REV sent for: DRIVE-IN by Ben Garrick Author IconMail Icon

Dear Ben & Attention opts pertaining: Hello! PRP (PubRevPg)

The following is a blurb/ book jacket style rev with certain additions.

"Readers may enjoy this decade's look back to a time when experience lay in the hearts of men and women approaching the dating-game via cars. In this case a babe who belongs to another on the Friday night in question becomes slightly kidnapped by a "sorta friend." Destination becomes a drive-in movie where adjustments are made ... firstly with said audio speaker "in the window" to --- oh my goodness two prone physical bods. Here, Miss Teffy must pause, gulp and kinda feign woe. Really?

Post auto extravaganza exploration which leaves a mark in the mind while author Ben contemplates "Let's keep this @ 18+) he remains a writer figuring on inclusion of his unknown audience as the tale reaches a daring advice laden .. yet pleasant conclusion.

A few suggestions for realism *Check*

@ "open front door" Perhaps toss adjective 'open' as this can be taken for granted by reader.
However can see this is a summery addition thus warm enough for an open door. However, screen door comes to mind. No biggy.

OF: "three-year Younger Brother. Younger Brother seems enough. Why? Since main character (older bro) is already employed by Ford.

Also -- Does the Younger Bro come with a name. Should this be based on a true story (which occasionally occurs inside fiction revelations) suggestions run to make up a name. You see?

Yes well ...

 VOCAB PRAISE: Ben, SEARCHing for tumescence. Hauling out the incredible, WEBSTER'S NEW WORLD DICTIONARY, c-rt 1986, a six lb beauty by all means. Heavy.

Ahah! pg 1439, tumble-weed, tumbrel, tumefacient, tumefy. Yike! Then came tumescence me: Swollen. Sure fits the bill.

OF: "reiterated" Now, I wish oh how I wish to hear this word in conversation more often. The fam uses this repetitiously, more or less. However, spare me one more moment for vocab boosting, please.

If or when a digital means of current, conversation-less, social communications escalates and toneless patterned speech prevails we'd miss good old reiterate and the likes thereof of standards heard in the speech from --- hey 1950 onward. Appropriate vocab choices can be gleaned from generations in the home. Plus, when non-educational, digital methodology invades US classrooms, former teacher lecture mode is sadly subtracted. Therefore, as writers we need to continue sparking up ouronline pens as shown on http://www.writing.com

Thanks, Ben ... Well done!"

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53
53
Review of Fixing society  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
MAY 30, 2014, FRIDAY all day ..

With new member, Jogilbee's flash fiction: FIXING SOCIETY, one sees a rare style when ..

as if poet is talking directly to subject (which we do see occasionally on http/:www.writing.com ..)

That style found here presents an entire story by addressing You, Yourself throughout. Yes, I like this new approach. We speak this way generally when not naming names. Thus this is an address to an unknown, un-titled character. Also borders on original.

Plus, it come off simply great. Since this humble revver finds no corrections needed can only suggest ...

Continue this one! Please.

With: "After a bit of searching, you finally find this restaurant and knock on the door. A man, presumably the owner (and chef - he wears an apron and a hair net), " --- Miss TEFFs now liking this author's reminder (bereft fantasy world of: earthquakes, ineffectual police state, flooding, make-believe small village life ...that this guy did not forget his hair net ... thus adheres to Health Department rule book. Good one.

Enjoy the site, keep 'em coming.

Cordially: TEFF

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54
54
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

"When approaching the comdic venues from author: Simple Dykie Author IconMail Icon be ready for tears of laughter.

Here MY JOURNEY TO GRUMPINESS is astonishing in all that it covers regarding this syndrome often lurking in every small town or city across the great United States.

When the look back to foibles, the first person narrator splendidly details when he (himself) encountered grumpy old men past ... the about face is smitten with sane hilarias content by story end. Great read, great delivery." Rev sent 5/14/14 from April Sunday Author IconMail Icon


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55
55
Review of Exasper  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
May 13, Tuesday ... 2014

Hi there to Dan Sturn.

TEFF here thoroughly enjoying your poem, EXASPER.

Then I also see that quirky MULTIVALENCE theme, I read about back in 2009. Yes, twas a valid word on LIT creations, perhaps.

Then, I see the anthology title: BOTTLE IN A RIVER. Grand title, by the way, Dan.

So this one, this poem has a wooden boat, a man afloat, an anchor to an --- uh oh ... ghostlike, empty vessel on a river, not asea ... my goodness the scene bespeaks of a setting that makes one feel as if they are right there relaxing beside the first person narrator when ... oh my.
Wicked waters scare the likes of Miss TEFFY.

Plus it grows late at night. But I *Heart* this five star poem.

BEST all Spring and Summer ..

Cordially, TEFF

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56
56
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Good Evening!

OF
 Charisma- The Devil's Gap- Chapter 1 Open in new Window. (13+)
Charisma is an exciting adventure and challenges what you thought you knew about the world
#1983182 by Nemesis Author IconMail Icon


What you present here as: a first chapter comes about as a dialogue led opening.

N (Nemesis) Maybe you might consider a bit more background prior to these details for the botched/ non-botched experiment per se.

Softly stepping up to the bat, as reviewer with author-to-author hints meant to capture reader appeal .. for the work at hand ... on.May 13, Tuesday, 2014.

"Prism" has been in the news RE: The Edward Snowden Leak of June 2013.

"Orgone" trapping aside ... WHO are these guys .. might add credence to the tale underway.

So far --- trying to picture Peter Doleman: "Elvin like stature." The word elf requires no upper case.

Then take in stride as reader the character: Liam Yager. Say the name three times and find the sound sticky on the tongue like it aint really a person. Readers must believe in the person and story being real, you see?

Nemesis bills this work on Auto Rewards where over 49,000 items abide.

Feeling the story has potential as the writer here {user:traveller --- Nemesis travels thru the creative side and adds to portfolio gains.

Good luck with this one which seems to need lasso-ing in.

Bless you ... For a first chapter this is awfully short.

"Charisma- The Devil's Gap- Chapter 1" Open in new Window. fits adult fiction for plot but carries the 13+ ID.

REV sent Cordially from TEFF

I read tonight the words above the REV box --- REVIEW! SHARE YOU OPINION, so meaning no harm, of course not.

Stop by @ "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.
57
57
Review of Fun With Felines  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)

MAY 12, 2014


My goodness, Judity ...

If only one could navigate a car across the Golden Gate or see such a wonder from down under, here in the East.

Ah the convincing way this author has of pulling one's leg comes to mind when reviewing such talent.

Thus cutting to the chase, waxing prof style tonight as membership fees loom.
PS -- hope you are fine, out and about in Cally town, Mz Buxton.

"A great prompt answer for inspiration leads readers to: FUN WITH FELINES by http:www.writing.com favorite, J. A. Buxton Author IconMail Icon Watch as this mini fiction word count of less than 600 words (yes you heard correctly. readers of PubRevPg (PRP) this scary cat story certainly ...
signs
seals
delivers ... heavens, really? ... fun with cats.

Oh my, oh my, oh my .. fun as in the opposite .. turns into rather an unforgettable ordeal during a splendidly organized move to a new house Leaving the scene of the crime where burgalary did beckon ala Oakland in 1981 ..

*Heart* this cell phone-less adventure.

Suggest readers click this one appearing on Auto Rewards. Then sit back and imbibe the goings on of a "car caravan" transporting a few or many randy cats. /// 5/12/14// R4ev sent from Mary Moffett /// "MOFFETT FILES TAKE FIVE" Open in new Window. "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

PS: Judity --- not being onsite for a few months, I am so glad to see your story first, as I just came back again.

Cordially,

teffom@writing.com


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58
58
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
MARCH 5, 2014 -- WED.

Good morning Steve, My my ... you do turn out mucho audience appeal via great rhyme, Christmas time, the twist betwixt coal for naughty and nada in wraped gifts.

This poem is a huge gift. Due this story poem's daring surprise from first person narration concerning ... "my old friend, Paul"

PubRevPg imagine if you dare a pulled white beard @ a mall without a passable, real Santa beneath.

All the Christmas mayhem and lingo you want ... merely a click away

@
 Twas the Night of the Grinch Open in new Window. (13+)
A Christmas poem
#1967981 by Steve Author IconMail Icon


Wow, this one is fun to read --- wording rhyme time fantastic, Steve! Am smitten by mimic of Twas the Night Before Christmas. Yippee. Boy oh boy. Wonderful creation/ great submission into "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. Thank you.

Rating Five *Star* for a TWENTY *Star* poem.

You also place readers in line early as in the first stanza we find: " ... all the stores packed with angry peeps."
Then Steve drops a Grinch on us and spectators go wild with --- "Oh dear God, why?"
Winners out this week, Steve.

Hey, talent here and comedic stance well delivered.

View work title @ "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.
59
59
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
MARCH 4, 2014

REV sent to J. A. Buxton Author IconMail Icon for her 2013 submission ... to

 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1190255 by Not Available.


Hey, Ms Buxton, your fine story: CHRISTMAS AT MAISON DU RENARD ROUGE adds flair to the success of this writing contest, fer sure. Judy, luv, hope many readers avail themselves to visit numerous works in your portfolio.

Ms Buxton your 2005 short story shall also air

@ "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.


"CHRISTMAS AT MAISON DU RENARD ROUGE falls lightly off the tongue for this title grabber, an endearing tale

.. offering one "misfired snowball" at a grumpy old man beside a snowman encased in "cast-off-finery."

Thus, the scene is set for author J. A. Buxton Author IconMail Icon 's popular "mansion" of charity owned by philanthropist, Walker whom befriends those needy in his charge.

Arriving new resident is a portly, white bearded fellow. Walker and his staff's latest guest goes by Nick, perhaps visiting to escape trouble such as "malnutrition or exposure." Nick's brought to the manse due interfernece run by Robyn De Sousa (nice name) Maison du Renard Rouge's recruiter.

Now, summing the haps at this home, a "sanctuary" the reading audience shall find Nick privy to pine & bayberry scents where apple pie awaits. Charmingly he takes pause near tables laden with "the Menorah" and the "creche."

Fabulous creation of Christmas spirit. One feels placed joyfully among the crowd of onlookers." teffom@writing.com

And Dear Judy, I love Walker's limo arrival. He's the man!
During this rev writing, my mouse took a dive. Yes, finallycleared of dust. Imagine that, Miss TEFF with slight appreciation for Silicon Valley this morning. Here, twenty degree snow-ice mounds never melt. You missed the coldest winter ever back East.

Judy, Best to you and yours during all of 2014
HAPPY ST PAT'S TO EVERYONE!

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60
60
Review of The Snowman  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
FEB 1 TWENTY-FOURTEEN

REVIEWS sent for submissions entering "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. Our deadline for this EVERYONE Contest ran -- to ending date/ Jan 31.

Now, PRP (PubRevPg) time for the r/r/r. With snow laden towns part of electronic life ... might I proceed during this bitter winter while stories from this anthology lend considerable cheer.

 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1521424 by Not Available.


First in line for Christmas 2013 is an endearing story, which fits easily into children's genre, but allows for all ages to embark on one part quest from an orphan, one part salvation. Concluding with a joyful rendition of the "true meaning of Christmas " as we understand same in a general charitable message.

Thus: strongly suggest writers, contest hosts/hostesses reconsider all your submissions to include ... no word limit stories. Why? Well, the saying runs that a story is finished when it is done. Results then fall into being the best stories, better than flash fictions with low word counts. Yes, without a doubt. Inside: "The Snowman" Open in new Window. a story is told to rivet the reader in place. Yes, Everyone knows this is a major criteria of fiction.

With only a mere 4,975 finely placed words .. watch out for Bill Willcox ... he might break your heart.

1. The Snowman --- Blasts us out of the ballpark with complete details ... (all adding to the quality of this short story.)
*Heart* this entire story, start to finish. Architecture, the groove, Willcox!

In Sum ---

"From a "dilapidated orphanage" setting of pictured scenes via paragraphs which sequence the tale from ...

--- A lad watching from an upstairs window as pedestrians below carry their gifts home. This simple task -- "warmed his cold body."

Well, Josh Banes escapes imprisonment ... under the watchful eye of a mean, selfish, abusive "head mistress."

Oh, that awful Miss Collins who we soon learn --- tries to conceal "sickly hungry kids,"

Watch out for the dungeon, a cold cellar with a coal bin.

Then embrace the great outdoors when a Snowman ... wait until you hear his name ... fans of this work .. Harold.

So glad air "cold, sweet, fresh" rejuvenates the young orphan determined to simply build a snowman. Also, by conclusion ... determined to enjoy his story's future,

To the rescue come visiting parents ... read on, enjoy and savor.

billwilcox offers a folder with his short stories on http//:www.writing.com. Bill's fiction leads us on how to write & what to write about content wise.

Over the years, I have encouraged Mr Willcox to submit his stories to local newspapers because these always set the scene.

Plus. here, once more --- setting & plot .. stays with the audience.

Thanks Bill. For helping make our "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. contests so endearing.
Cordially, TEFF

HAPPY ST VAL'S

Extra: Rev note: "When visitor observes "These state run institutions are filled with bureaucratic red tape" we may note -- bullet (topic) extends especially as cold-blooded, cruel, deplorable conditions bring awareness via this traditional , downtrodden-arise aspect of Christmas Genre." April Sunday Author IconMail Icon "





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61
61
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
DECEMBER 23, EVE OF CHRISTMAS EVE --- '13

Holiday Greeting, Ann. May God continue to bless you and yours. Mentioning your family members serving in Afghanistan during the conflict, four years back is an efficient way to open this, your Audio/ Poetry. Of course, title of SHADOWS IN THE MIST allows for tribute to servicemen overall.

The lines here sadden an audience worldwide. Shown on Auto Rewards pg 5.
Now referencing the song's refrain:

Quote: " In every sunset is their colour,
Their spirit it survives;
We thank them for their valour
And for their precious lives."

The message escapes loudly & clearly, similar to HARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING in quality. Thank you for posting open onsite, Miss Ann.

One finds the follwing hard to forget, morphing into a memorable line @ second stanza:

Ann relates: "Listen for my son's voice.

Then at this house the clock stops as TEFF continues to applaud the poetry of http://www.writing.com honorable & talented writing community member: Ann Ticipation Author IconMail Icon DECEMBER 23, EVE OF CHRISTMAS EVE --- '13

Holiday Greeting, Ann. May God continue to bless you and yours. Mentioning your family members serving in Afghanistan during the conflict, four years back is an efficient way to open this, your Audio/ Poetry. Of course, title of SHADOWS IN THE MIST allows for tribute to servicemen overall.

The lines here sadden an audience worldwide. Shown on Auto Rewards pg 5.
Now referencing the song's refrain:

Quote: " In every sunset is their colour,
Their spirit it survives;
We thank them for their valour
And for their precious lives."

The message escapes loudly & clearly, similar to HARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING in quality. Thank you for posting open onsite, Miss Ann.

One finds the follwoing hard to forget, morphing into a memorable line @ second stanza:

Ann relates: "Listen for my son's voice .. Amidst .... "

Then at this house the clock stops as TEFF continues to applaud the poetry of http://www.writing.com honorable & talented writing community member: annticipation.

Oh Ann, you must recall how I am. Always about reaction during review speak. However, meaning to cheer you this Christmassy news. Am instigating a "Call4 Poetry" @ "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. so hope you will gather round the proverbial tree this wicked cold month of Dec.

Merry Christmas, luv.

Cordially, Mary Moffett aka teffom@writing.com


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62
62
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
DECEMBER 23, 2013

Good Morning to J. A. Buxton Author IconMail Icon whose name & portfolio here @ http://www.writing.com should be known as akin to a household word. Privy to insider information, Miss Judy has been compiling an anthology of her past entries into a WDC popular contest. Namely: The Writers' Cramp.

This one, I THOUGHT IT WAS A FUN GIFT spells trouble for the gifter ...

... When an impolite, nasty reaction results in the recipient tossing the gift to the floor. Imagine that, folks. Terrible, for Miss Judy fictionalizing along like the rest of us onsite.

Myself (?) I kinda gave up on Great Expectations for this contest, oh about 2009 (I think.) Since all my entries received low, lower and lowest rates .. but then whom looks a gift horse in the mouth anyways. When webtv went kaputzi in the Autumn of 2013 @ least 4 million onliners (no secret TEFF was one) scrambled for alternatives. Thus, even Christmastide brings out past woes.

Tsk, tsk on rudeness, of course ... the unthinkable in this piece.

 I thought it was a fun gift Open in new Window. (E)
Why do people act this way? I still don't understand why she was behaved like that.
#1967997 by J. A. Buxton Author IconMail Icon


Uh, oh, waxing maudlin on PRP (PubRevPg) sorry, I digress Miss Judy. I wish I was @ the Cost Plus with you, later wrapping the items carefully while anticipating a surprise reaction. Alas, the average gap betwixt polite and impolite is not the chasm betwixt moral & immoral. So, we write on.

Rev sent --- Cordially from TEFF
PS: Starting contest reads this week for holiday fun @ "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. So, you'll hear from me again during the Holidays to be sure.





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63
63
Review of Seventh Seal  Open in new Window.
for entry "Brownstones" Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
DECEMBER 22, 2013

REV sent for:
 Seventh Seal  Open in new Window. (18+)
Fantasy, Two young women battle evil in todays world.
#1856880 by Guidedtouch Author IconMail Icon
}

Narrowing the field toward an age group smitten with pets

without perhaps detailing setting of street name or city may or may not work for this author. Yet, possible hold up occurs for readers. Maybe opening with squirrels circling trees seems unimportant while

... an on-the-scene property owner greets two college students (entering their new digs.)

However, this section robs the story line like a burglar, my dear. So who cares about petting zoos in Vancouver when good & evil are @ odds? Basic comment aka a review (rev) remark.

Story line salvage is not that difficult after tossing superficial blow-by-blow especially when this reader/ author/ reviewer encounters ....

Peter & Angela (the neighbors) kinda willing to save their conversational topics for another time. Reminds of couples with excuses in ROSEMARY'S BABY.

Character name, Katrina, most appropriate.

OF: guy in black suit's familiarity ... This reader suggests. Elaborate @ that point ala appearance & relevance.

Going places is this novella in progress, copyright Feb 2012 from the portfolio of http://www.writing.com member/ Guidedtouch Author IconMail Icon

Note surprises as user name, sunamii enters the tale by name of Sunamii. Scary?

Suggest: *Check* years since Viet Nam Conflict, age of students, Katrina's dad, Mr. Daily. Some thirty-eight years ago?

Date for this pen ... given in article ... written well, BTW. Of the news clip --- @ "out of the White House." We may say out of -- but article would state: from the White House.

OF: conflict betwixt good & evil --- GOOD indication of plot/ theme with Guidedtouch's pivot line --- "Man is a slave to his desire to own more." Which of course is false.

Checking phone for time ... spells the end of watches in this misguided country for some.

Thinking St Peter, picking Angel from Angela.

Oh no ... hooked on pending conclusion. Thus, mission accomplished, a fine novel with plenty of audience bait intact.

Merry Christmas, dear author. OPEN @ "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

REV sent Cordially, from TEFF.

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64
64
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
DECEMBER 22, 2013 with only nine days left untill TWENTY-FOURTEEN!

Good morning, Mr Dykie. If you had even one iota of how much your major joke lines tickle the likes out of Miss TEFF, your scale of scores tallied would indeed rise.

From: LOVE AND HOT WATER, listing on Auto Rewards Column, pg 6 @ http://www.writing.com
arrives interesting insight RE: "marriage" billing as "wedded bliss."

An audience ready, willing & able to enjoy laughter may find a nook @ the portfolio of Simple Dykie Author IconMail Icon where a daring collection of flash fiction gems awaits any comedy seeking wise-guy. Or agreeable ladies fair.

To reveal my favorite chuckle seems hardly appropriate, prior to spell check in rev tool kit, but past wiping tears of laughter from my face. Ahah, the TEFF REV reaction ploy in play.

Sure, Dykie, you had me @ WAR & PEACE. Worse, to then scrape me right out the window with Chapter Fifteen. Looking back on this fine privlege of memorable comedy now I feel maybe God owes you for this. Perkiomenville wording, fer sure.

Thus, MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Signed TEFF --- always open @ "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. VIEW ENTRY RECORD @ "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

PS: FIVE *Star* rate for TWENTY STAR COMEDY.


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65
65
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)

DECEMBER 21, 2013

Good morning to Dan Sturn ... airing poetry on Auto Rewards, pg 2 @ http:///www.writing.com.

Dan, tis cold outside. Glad your poem offers the starling last line of Long live the hive. Warming the heart & soul of mankind, perchance?

*Heart* "millenium time" Over the years teffom@writing.com often purported usage of -wise at edge of words. Thus budget wise, author-to-author hint-wise. However, your "millennium time" (where located in stanza) sets a ring around the moon for THE HIVE'S LAST STAND.

As a gardener always sympathized with the fate of bees .. since approx 2005. By writing: "twenty-first century bees" you educate readers of this travesty.

Because of "figs" --- exscuse me almost took the Christmassy giggle thinking instead "figgy pudding." But apt to share thoughts Dec 2013. Also, same credentials as above, novice gardener ... I once experienced a memorable walk with Dad. That day he showed me a persimmon tree in our woods that planted itself. Tall, very tall. Later, intrigued we went for the persimmons my father admitted took @ least ten years to reveal themselves.

When you call on the Darwin clause by stating: "evolution thing we worshiped" you mean humanity's civilization being educated in that era & afterward. Yes? This phrase fits perfectly with the theme you rhyme so well.

BRAVO!

Planet E with an environmental crisis seldom addressed onsite ... outright deserves this honorary poem as well directed @ Es inhabitants, ourselves. So, taking that turn between the lines, my friend.

Please accept this bright FIVE *Star* rate for a TEN *Star* message in poetry format.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, Mr. Sturn.
Open @ "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. & "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.



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66
66
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)

DECEMBER 20, 2013
Good morning, Lynda.
Thumbs up for FLASHLIGHTS OF THE WORLD, a nice play on wording for lighthouses, BTW.

Your item, a non-fic, allows for the citation area. That's good, so seldom do writers credit their sources, although this is something important that should never be overlooked. And you also provide a link. So looking at the big 5.0 *Star* my dear.

This essay also clocks in as quite informative. Therefore satifies criteria of one of the three Es of writing and reading ... Education. Nice.

For some unknown reason had privilege to visit several US Lighthouses and I'm not a fan who travels to seek them out. But did meet many Lighthouse Buffs. Now, deskside thinking such folks would like this essay. I'm sure of it.

Oh, and once at a maritime musuem, I stood under one of these gigantic lenses, which you detail here. Those heavy things really put off the glow akin to a prism sunburst.

Well, best in Twenty-fourteen. Visit for holiday menu @ "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. Merry Christmas, Lynda.


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Review of American Suffrage  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)

DECEMBER 19, 2013
Rev sent for ---
American Suffrage Open in new Window. (E)
1910. Nora wants to be a suffragist. Her fiance doesn't like it too much.
#1778101 by April Desiree Author IconMail Icon


Good morning, April. As this review turns to average mistakes in fiction chapters, suggest you keep in mind the final product, crt 2011. Also, realizing this rev may be read by other writers ala PRP so, speaking to Everyone else, too. Why? Well we kinda go public via listing on Auto Rewards @ http://www.writing.com.

Thus .. it came to pass, from hand-written notes:

IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER

1. Title of American Suffrage ... Using the Suffrage Movement sparingly at the outset of this work in progress (chapter) allows for topic facts. Photo/cover is excellent. Noting a biblio of citations for an historic work is often easily accomplished.

(Here's a guess, Miss April. --- Content delivery follows the dialog-tell-story mode.)

However ... 2. @ "I get that." Sounds 2013ish.

Easier on reader if Jackson is identified at start of paragraphs that involve his character name. (Later the audience shall encounter the name, Eugene." Suffrage still absent.)

3. GREAT LINE ALERT! @ "Silence would only fan the flames." Since present tense -- could can replace would.

4. Another good line @ "A bitter standoff was on the horizon, bringing with it gray clouds and a light precipitation." Practically poetic, Miss April!

Some, etc from rev remark arena ...

@ "I knew that Joan was no good." Excellent, makes point.

COLOR CHART SYNDROME (Found on wc like white on rice. And can't picture reviewers asking what color was the boys sailor suit, can Anyone?

Onsite writing tends to over crayola, Miss April. The following: "off-white curtains" (Who cares?) Curtains is fine alone.

"gray hem ... impeccably white ... beige overcoat ... " Writer may simplify for reader, whom fills in the blank. Now, in 1910 ... darks were in vogue among the masses. Dyed wool ran navy, brown, black and yes ... it ran. Serge, whatever. Silks were lighter as were linens .. and only for the posh. Unlike today when surplus of used goods reach Everyone. Ooops, Miss TEFF goes posh her ownself.

OF vernacular for 1910. Encounter: businessman. Businessman. Is there a better noun for this banker type.

touchy-feely --- unused in the way long ago of Women's Suffrage Era.

@ argument spot -- @ touch me -- try strike me

@ rushing? Rushing? From a light rain? Nope.

And, please consider placing ... work in progress .. at end of the piece in question.

Summary -- After reading reminds of Downton Abbey.

Four *Star* rate because looking out the window during conversation ... pulls on the visual. April, great ploy.

Racy chick, this Nora. Good lord, along with fiance, Jackson. Nora has been married previously to ... oh no ... help us, each & everyone ...

Eugene!

Tsk, quite the mover & a shaker, that Nora.

As conclusion spot never arrives ... Raders & writers --- So, say meet ... where "ducks gather." More on city preferable.

Open @ "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. So come dine at the table, Miss April as Christmastide cheers the lot.

Cordially, TEFF


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Review of Worm Meets Apple  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.0)


DECEMBER 11, 2013

Rev sent for WORM MEETS APPLE, a playful poem from Josh S. Author IconMail Icon

The poem is well written, presented nicely, funny. Plus, Josh also felt it necessary to include an explanatory note for those "who didn't really get it." How sad.

Despite the flow behind the scenes can tell you this, Josh. As a gardener and country resident ... seldom does one discover worms inside green apples. These are often not yet ripe & sour.

Oh, accepting poetry submissions again this year. So, dear poet you are cordially invited to join Christmas Genre @

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#1190255 by Not Available.


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Review of Amsterdam  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (2.5)

DECEMBER 9, THE MONDAY

Good monring to, Druid. Thanks for posting
 Amsterdam Open in new Window. (E)
Internet relationship going real life... or not.
#1766437 by druid Author IconMail Icon


On Auto Rewards Column. Find this stroy from genre romance/love offering the ken for electonically stimulated relationships almost falling into the spoof category.

Q How do folks, younger than self cozen up to such things is beyond apprehension to moi ... but tediously spelled out for readers, an I-net audience which already observes this drift via e-gear, e-connections in this tap, tapper version of romance between two entities ... setting after flight, post checking into a hotel, appraising the room.

Tiny typo @ hotels ... facade --- use hotel's

With ... "afraid to hear her answer." Let's look at another emotion -- besides love -- fear.
Afraid? Well, fits exaggerations, found here.

So all these hype type storylines jutting into shortstory venue, I-net wise (wondering if this is a newer, repetitious-content, trend for flash fictions, etc. Can we accept emotional via keypad?

Also, judge the blow-by-blow to be overdone. Eg "smiling to himself, he rolls off the bed." Yes, the happy fellow.
Maybe audeince appeal is lost @ "He logs in .."

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Review of 4am  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.0)


NOVEMBER 9, 2013, THE MONDAY

Now, Devlin, dear, discover your poem 4am in the newbie section of the http://www.writing.com home page. The poem is brief, seems there are no mispells, e-poetry can be presented online in lower case letters. This poem tells of privacy inside a bedroom, time evident in title. My my, joining DEc 3, last Tuesday affords you a ton, some say plethora of things to do, places to visit, stories to read. Ah yes, lad, stay the course. Prose poem on.

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Ah yes, welcome to the *Trainb* we call http://www.writing.com
& Merry Christmas from April Sunday Author IconMail Icon


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Review of My Wife's Escape  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


DECEMBER 6, 2013

Good Evening, Dykie.

You outdo yourself with MY WIFE'S ESCAPE. Including much in this short story, then with the bop-de-bop surprising solution, stops my heart mid air. Running a Lamborghini in one of my blogs for years, this is even better by far.

ATTENTION all visitors to PubRevPg. Here encounter real writing onsite @ http://ww.writing.com ... of f the finest quality. Imagine!

Thanks for posting on Auto Rewards.

Best part was the husband's looking at his competiton. Fantastic style.

Cordially, TEFF

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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)

DECEMBER 6, 2013

"IS THAT A KNOCK AT THE DOOR? from Simple Dykie Author IconMail Icon fits comedy monologue to a super T. TTT for To The Top of the pile from this author's growing portfolio reflecting once more ordinary times & things all around us. Favoring a "smiling" visitor, the first person narrator ends up with a ton of Girl Scout cookes. Dykie's waking from the nap scene allows later for chewing out a non-respionsive canine. Chase woofs on. Now, how can a dog "carry a caribou back to camp." Oh, I see, high praise, yet out-of-control. Funny!" Rev sent from April Sunday Author IconMail Icon "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.


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Review of The Promise  Open in new Window.
Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
DECEMBER 6, 2013 ... NINETEEN DAYS UNTIL "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

Rev sent to Simple Dykie Author IconMail Icon

Season's Greetings,

Enjoyed your poem THE PROMISE, teary in the reading. The lines tell of an encounter, but surprise comes only at the end within last line. Oh, how sad.

@ bundle & all he owned ... easily picturing this Autumn Scene, perhaps the September of one's life, me thinks.

Adore: "The coming dawn a whisper on the wind." Just think with nature & the elements at the beck & call we may still favor the eloquence found by describing sunrise. Niiiiice!

Cordially, teffom@writing.com
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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (3.0)

DEC 6, 2013

This review re-visits the portfolio items from Teguettler, who at the onset announces the item in question is not a novel, but a writing exercise, assigned for a writing class. Hey, iffen I'm in one of those (but been there, done that, long already) wouldn't hesitate to praise the place, as in naming the college.

Anyways ... once more the creation centers on Lt Livingstone now retiring after "twenty-years in the military." This becomes a phrase we hear so many years since 2003. One full decade @ war. (US HISTORY)

Now, the action pokes about at dummies of straw, later there's a campfire where killing the barbarians crests the topic list. For proverbial (not novella) so for the outline, then? Of course, more is related.

The piece is presented well, defined with topic lines --- cyberville dubs those bullets.

{/i} Okay, explore this one top to bottom. Reach: "Hardien feigned a scowl ..." Now, please. We must anchor our feet on the ground, people. Hope you take that general appeal to *Heart* Teguettler .. for it is impossible to feign a scowl. A true scowl requires gritted teeth at least. An action whereas the word feign is cagey. Once deviation from the superficial nuance of using wording that sounds fancy or is playfully constructed takes shape, then the reality of what the work can produce as finished product sets in to better the plot, character, etc. You see?

Now, fantasy is pretend, so they tell me. Instead of not telling this story, why not make it real like true grit then switch of fantasy genre as your genre choice. Maybe you could try military. Seems much soldier dialog is going down.

Don't be alarmed by this take on the two bitems, dear author. You stay the course then decide how it all pulls into a short story.

Cordially, TEFF
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Review by April Sunday Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
DECEMBER 6, 2014

This 500 word compostition from Teguettler portrays a battle weary spot. Then before conclusion, speaker waxXING sympathetic toward "ruin" and casualties.

Sir name, Livingston is given to the LT. Perhaps, denotes an English countryside. Now, here's a major suggestion, which can muster other troops stopping over @ http:///www.writing.com PRP (PubRevPg.) The ever-popular, Medieval stretch inside fantasy genre popularity can actually be researched for the British Isles. Why ... (pause) Miss TEFFs spent many a fine afternoon reading Scottish History, which to this day remains impossible to decipher entirely.
Encyclopedias carry the most info. Middle Ages == 450 --- 1450 AD, natch.

THE SUGGESTIONS ---

@ to speak of == Guess, we've been around the block, writers & readers -- with insistance that sentences not end with preopositions. True. Interupts reading for some. Here, "to speak of" is attached to a dwindling number of weapons -- try simply: a few thus can edit to: We had few armaments.

Again, quite often seeing fictitious battles dubbed fantasy in electronic writing. Sameness in flash fictions RE: this genre announcement abides onsite with battles waged constantly. A LIEUTENANT'S DILEMA details as a writing POV. Upon opening that POV is connected to a former POV, also unstated.

Best to recall, hard to read the mind of anyone. Thus, being specific becomes part of the game always.

@ "I felt like throwing up." This sentence concludes par two. After villagers are indiscriminately slain. Oddly, enough, the second par mentions armaments listing as "rudimentary farm equipment." IF axes for this unknown century, best to ID yon, cutting-down tool.

@ "Many fires still burned as we walked through he remains, obscuring the sky with haze of smoke and ash."
This sentence can simply be re-arranged. Otherwise it reads as if the walkers were so incredibly large they blocked out the skyline. Suggest edit as ... We walked through .. as start section.

Detecting "a hint of sarcasm" while listening to a voice is rare. Sarcasm comes from the wording of statment. Generally, sarcasm joins to wit. However, with easily offended trends of today, poor lil sarcasm became insulting.

Went back & forth, up & down with this piece and found many hard-liners for future edits. Along with things as presented by the author of this flash fiction to barely fit the storyline.

Cordially, April Sunday Author IconMail Icon "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

PS: Teg ... Sensing that your ken may also be for contemporary realism. If you'd like to try your hand at Christmas Genre please visit:

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