I feel the pent up emotion and understand your frustration. It's good you have the pen with which to spit out the words. I also like the way you twisted it to show who was really in control.
As for style, I like it, but I have a suggestion or two. Avoid cliches. "packed together like sardines" is over used. Come up with your own description. The word choice of "invites" leads me to ask, invites that person to do what? Would "encourages" work better? And stoic is a noun. Stoical is the adjective. Good work.
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